Change
First, I'd like to say that I saw Sio during Christmas while I was in Santa Barbara. Always refreshing to see her. Wonderful person.
In other news, I'm getting ready to head back to Portland. My flight is on the 24th of this month.
I've secured a place to live, which is good. I have a job waiting for me, and I've started the process of fixing my back-taxes issue.
Odd that Kate should choose this time to send me correspondence that isn't completely hurtful. Or any correspondence at all, for that matter. I'm having trouble, because while I know that my own actions caused this rift, I'm coming to terms with it... while if I point out her own fucked up actions and decisions that were party to this whole thing, I'll be accused of making 'excuses'. Oh well, I'm not in a position to point out anyone elses shortcomings, especially hers.
She wasn't too keen on the idea of me being back in Portland, but I tried to make her understand that I need to put myself in a position of responsibility. Staying in Hot Springs is much too easy. A typical "I fucked up, but I can run away from it by moving, and have a perfectly good excuse to do so." It just can't work anymore. It never worked before, because while you can convince other people that there was no help for it, you can never convince yourself. It's time to get myself in the habit of living well, and being a good man. Copping out is not a way to do that.
In any case, be well. I'll try to do the same.
Black eyed seat
in the cold
we wait for less
I'm told
To my left
the sea in black
I fly, I sleep
we meet
Loaded glance,
eyes unfold
the truth.
The sky, it falls
Great hands turn clocks
Great clocks turn hands
In soft arms
of orbits lost
it pulls,
it pushes me
Rising up,
sinking in
the sea,
capsized at last
Leaving through,
sliding out
the hole I broke
in you
In other news, I'm getting ready to head back to Portland. My flight is on the 24th of this month.
I've secured a place to live, which is good. I have a job waiting for me, and I've started the process of fixing my back-taxes issue.
Odd that Kate should choose this time to send me correspondence that isn't completely hurtful. Or any correspondence at all, for that matter. I'm having trouble, because while I know that my own actions caused this rift, I'm coming to terms with it... while if I point out her own fucked up actions and decisions that were party to this whole thing, I'll be accused of making 'excuses'. Oh well, I'm not in a position to point out anyone elses shortcomings, especially hers.
She wasn't too keen on the idea of me being back in Portland, but I tried to make her understand that I need to put myself in a position of responsibility. Staying in Hot Springs is much too easy. A typical "I fucked up, but I can run away from it by moving, and have a perfectly good excuse to do so." It just can't work anymore. It never worked before, because while you can convince other people that there was no help for it, you can never convince yourself. It's time to get myself in the habit of living well, and being a good man. Copping out is not a way to do that.
In any case, be well. I'll try to do the same.
Black eyed seat
in the cold
we wait for less
I'm told
To my left
the sea in black
I fly, I sleep
we meet
Loaded glance,
eyes unfold
the truth.
The sky, it falls
Great hands turn clocks
Great clocks turn hands
In soft arms
of orbits lost
it pulls,
it pushes me
Rising up,
sinking in
the sea,
capsized at last
Leaving through,
sliding out
the hole I broke
in you