(no subject)
okey doke well i just got back from a bike ride with my dad....u know what it felt pretty good despite my legs feeling like lead afterwards...when i was little i thought my parents knew everything and were the smartest people ever...boy was i wrong...sometimes i just get so angry at them ...i can't explain why sometimes they just piss me off...dont get me wrong i love them i really do and i dont take them for granted...ive been trying to do that a lot lately, just being grateful for stuff you know? i think thats about the only good thing that has come out of this fatigue setback....OMG today i saw myself in the mirror and i was like WHOA...HOLD ON...ALLL I SEE IS FAT FAT FAT....why??? its terrifying....like i used to love my legs...i thought they were awesome from running but now they just do not cut it...ok u know when u sit down and u like push down your skin on your outer thigh and it makes those little fat ripples??????????? GROSS..Totally gross...i think thats my goal to never be able to make my skin look like i have cellulite....like how do other people not notice these things? and you know what kills me, (btw sorry if im sound like im complaining...well i am) people who go on a diet right? and then they say like "oh ya i think im gonna lose 5 pounds" and in my head im like "that's it???? 5 pounds??? thats all you wanna lose??? how can u stop after only 5 ponds?" I mean obviously thats great to lose 5 pounds but my point is that some people are satisfied with just 5 pounds and then thats it they can stop after....i sort of envy them bc they're not so judgemental of the way they look and everything u know? see me if i lost 5 i'd be like omg i have to lose 50 more...ANYWAYS...<3xo ciao. oh btw i decided im gonna weigh myself every monday instead of every day bc it just seems more sane and plus i always have to make sure noones looking bc my parents get mad when i weigh myself...but i really wanna see...ok im gonna weigh myself now just cuz i want to --> 114.75 lbs....yucky but not terrible