STUFF:
The Streets new album 'a grand dont come for free' is so great. I was worried at first because Otis said it wasnt at all like the last record, and that there werent really any garagey tracks like before, but it has something totally unique going on. I cant explain. Im not at all disappointed. If you dont know who Mike Skinner is- PLEASE- go pick up a Streets album- either one- both brilliant. I have a feeling it'll be all I listen to for a while. Yum. Yum indeed. So... Chris is coming to visit for a week in August! Im very excited. I need him right now. I always need him. He is like an open window in a grossly smokey room. I know what I mean anyway. So, oh, theres this other band that Im falling in love with, called DEERHOOF- craaazy shit. My late night buddy Mario recommended them. Thanks Mario. I owe you one amazing band recommendation...
Hmmm... so this weekend was a pretty strange one. The party at Too Colds was kinda lame, by the time I got there (about 1:15ish)- beer had been stolen, car windows had been kicked in, heads had been punched, the dog had been wrestled, and one fool had to go to the emergency room... christ. Im too old for that shit. I try to tell Willis that that is what happens when you give angry, self-loathing 17 year olds beer and shitty rap music... but, no, I just end up sounding condescending... whatever. None for me thanks. I felt kinda bad, just because it was all Tom. Willis just happens to live with the kid. Oh well. I ran into Jonas there too, I hope he doesnt think that just because I dont want to date him we cant be friends. He really is cool. Maybe Im naive, does it not work like that? Silly, idealistic me... Anyway, as the shirtless morons left, Willis and I took over the music, and had a decent night.
So Sunday, Alaskan Zack, Wallace, and myself hung out for a while. We always manage to make shit fun. We played frisbee at some park. Not just regular frisbee though, we were doing this thing where one of us would get on the... ummm... what are those things called? not a merry-go-round, but you know, those things that spin? Anyway, one of us would be spinning on that, and we'd play like that. I'm more coordinated than I give myself credit for... After a while though, Willis and I gave up on our organized version of moderately paced spinning frisbee, and just started spinning Zack fast as hell and nailing his body with the frisbee. We didnt even want him to catch it and throw it back- he became a helpless, dizzy, spinning target. I liked that game better. Heh. I got some good hits in. A few body shots, a couple throat. Goodtimes. We seriously ran around like small children, I fell over laughing more than once. Im smiling just picturing that plastic flying disc smashing into Zacks head full speed. And frisbees will now be called "power coins." Thats just the way it is. We were watching a group of really young kids play with one for a while, and thats what they were calling it. I could watch little kids interact all day. Humans are funny, at any age...
Hmmm.... what else? Speaking of funny human interaction- Im afraid that Aiden is actually pissed at me for wanting time to think. You know, I thought he understood where I was coming from, I was pretty shocked actually, that he was being so sweet and patient about it, but last night he sort of gave me the impression that Im being selfish, for making him wait. Im not MAKING him do anything- he doesnt have to "wait" for me... I feel rushed again- like Im supposed to be making up my mind about things while he anxiously awaits my response. I feel like Ive been given an ultimatum. I cant make decisions in crisis mode. I really dont even know what to say to him. He wants something concrete, something certain, and I havent made any absolute conclusions yet, and Im not even sure that I will. And I really dont think its fair for him to make me feel guilty about that. I dont know. I really really dont. Maybe I am being unfair. I know he likes me, I like him too, and I know he's upset, as am I, but how do you apologize for that? What does he expect me to say? Im worried that he expects me to say something like "yes, we were moving too fast, I was totally overwhelmed- lets start over from the beginning tomorrow.." You know? He's made it pretty clear that removing the romance and keeping the friendship is not an option. So again, Im confronted with the all or nothing decision. Gah! I dont know how these things work... Im really confused. Confused to the point of crying out of sheer frustration with myself for being so damn confused. Will it ever end? Is this really what your early 20's are like? (word to Flora) If thats the case, I dont need relationships- Im perfectly content alone. I feel like a whiney bitch. Thats all I have to say right now I guess...
Hmmm... so this weekend was a pretty strange one. The party at Too Colds was kinda lame, by the time I got there (about 1:15ish)- beer had been stolen, car windows had been kicked in, heads had been punched, the dog had been wrestled, and one fool had to go to the emergency room... christ. Im too old for that shit. I try to tell Willis that that is what happens when you give angry, self-loathing 17 year olds beer and shitty rap music... but, no, I just end up sounding condescending... whatever. None for me thanks. I felt kinda bad, just because it was all Tom. Willis just happens to live with the kid. Oh well. I ran into Jonas there too, I hope he doesnt think that just because I dont want to date him we cant be friends. He really is cool. Maybe Im naive, does it not work like that? Silly, idealistic me... Anyway, as the shirtless morons left, Willis and I took over the music, and had a decent night.
So Sunday, Alaskan Zack, Wallace, and myself hung out for a while. We always manage to make shit fun. We played frisbee at some park. Not just regular frisbee though, we were doing this thing where one of us would get on the... ummm... what are those things called? not a merry-go-round, but you know, those things that spin? Anyway, one of us would be spinning on that, and we'd play like that. I'm more coordinated than I give myself credit for... After a while though, Willis and I gave up on our organized version of moderately paced spinning frisbee, and just started spinning Zack fast as hell and nailing his body with the frisbee. We didnt even want him to catch it and throw it back- he became a helpless, dizzy, spinning target. I liked that game better. Heh. I got some good hits in. A few body shots, a couple throat. Goodtimes. We seriously ran around like small children, I fell over laughing more than once. Im smiling just picturing that plastic flying disc smashing into Zacks head full speed. And frisbees will now be called "power coins." Thats just the way it is. We were watching a group of really young kids play with one for a while, and thats what they were calling it. I could watch little kids interact all day. Humans are funny, at any age...
Hmmm.... what else? Speaking of funny human interaction- Im afraid that Aiden is actually pissed at me for wanting time to think. You know, I thought he understood where I was coming from, I was pretty shocked actually, that he was being so sweet and patient about it, but last night he sort of gave me the impression that Im being selfish, for making him wait. Im not MAKING him do anything- he doesnt have to "wait" for me... I feel rushed again- like Im supposed to be making up my mind about things while he anxiously awaits my response. I feel like Ive been given an ultimatum. I cant make decisions in crisis mode. I really dont even know what to say to him. He wants something concrete, something certain, and I havent made any absolute conclusions yet, and Im not even sure that I will. And I really dont think its fair for him to make me feel guilty about that. I dont know. I really really dont. Maybe I am being unfair. I know he likes me, I like him too, and I know he's upset, as am I, but how do you apologize for that? What does he expect me to say? Im worried that he expects me to say something like "yes, we were moving too fast, I was totally overwhelmed- lets start over from the beginning tomorrow.." You know? He's made it pretty clear that removing the romance and keeping the friendship is not an option. So again, Im confronted with the all or nothing decision. Gah! I dont know how these things work... Im really confused. Confused to the point of crying out of sheer frustration with myself for being so damn confused. Will it ever end? Is this really what your early 20's are like? (word to Flora) If thats the case, I dont need relationships- Im perfectly content alone. I feel like a whiney bitch. Thats all I have to say right now I guess...