May 26, 2004 09:37
<333 niki alejo made my day yesterday...not for any reason really just because haha we take photoshoots and get mad at dave for stealing my glasses that ive havent got to wear yet!! <333
Gene came over yesterday and he left me a hott finch shirt on my bed i love it :)
.............
I've been thinking about it alot but for some reason...yesterday i really thought about it...
dont ever put yourself in a situtation where you feel like your wasting feelings...it doesnt make you very happy...
i feel like im just holding on to something thats never going to be mine again, i still feel the way i felt the first time i met him and the worst part is...he probably doesnt even care...i remember every little conversation...every hug...every kiss...every time i felt good about myself because i made him smile... now i'll i know is how hard it is not to see him ...or kiss him or hug him or...make him smile which is stupid of me because i let myself think about this and it only leads to me pretending im happy to make my self feel better...ive let people in my life so i can try an feel something that feels empty ...
it makes u feel like shit when u feel a certain way about someone that doesnt feel the same way about you...
i know ive said it before...but i guess... i should really try this time...to let it go...because sitting here wishing we were together doesnt get me anywhere...
i should have listend when they told me he would break my heart