(no subject)

May 04, 2009 23:34

I said.. fuck this relationship, and the crying and the heightening of the anxiety and the depression that came from his silence and distance. because I will tell you what i DONT need and what i CANT handle.. and that my friend, is silence, and distance.

and so i said goodbye

and somehow i feel better than i did before. cos im tired of fucking crying. and im tired of blaming lauren for the demise of my relationship. and i hung on to it for dear life because he was my first real relationship i suppose, and because i have a problem going 4 days without getting laid. but i will have to put my virgin days to good use and say sex? what? what is that. I dont care about that. and the thought of that makes me cry harder than losing my best friend. im just kidding. but i cant fucking do this anymore. and im stronger and better than that. i should switch gregs. i hope he wakes the fuck up and sees what he let go. I just wont cry anymore. and suffer silently, and alone. I cant do this shit alone anymore. And blaming Lauren only keeps me in anger, and denial. I need to accept she's gone forever. And I need to be free of the things holding me back and holding me down. Cos Im fuckin done dude. fucking done.
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