Discourse of 2:00 am insomnia
One of my glaring weeknesses is that I don't stand up for myself which I think people see and believe I do not have any values that I feel passionate about. I have a passion towards a lot of things, I know who I am and I know who I ultimatly want to be. I get stuck thinking about how I can impress everyone, not just one person, but everyone at the same time. I think about what I do and how it effects everything and I feel like I try too hard to be sensitive to everyone elses views. I feel like I don't stand up for my views in front of some people because I might make them unconfortable and maybe they will like me less and I will lose a valuable friend or contact. I'm constanatly playing diplomacy in my head. There are times where I know I need to show who I am more.
I think one thing that I do that I don't feel good about is finding people who have the same values as I do and try and get closer to them and at the same time distant myself from people who have any vices at all; smoke, aren't vegetarian, drink too much, people who game to much, anything that could make other friends think that being friends with them will reflect badly on my own views. For example, having friends of mine who have different views on women or race. I don't agree with their views but should I distance myself from them just because of that one facet? How do I celebrate their lives and keep my own morals in check?
I guess what is more important is, how do I get my old friends back. How do I incorperate them in my life? I'm afraid that I have made so many strange friends that none of them will get along with I get them in the same room as me. Its like none of my friends life choices match. What do I do? Celebrate their lives but keep them out of parts of my life? I think I've just plain dissappeared from my friends lives. please forgive me. I swear I'm still cool. even though I'm almost the dreaded three-O.
I'll give you an otter pop if you will hang out with me.
I think one thing that I do that I don't feel good about is finding people who have the same values as I do and try and get closer to them and at the same time distant myself from people who have any vices at all; smoke, aren't vegetarian, drink too much, people who game to much, anything that could make other friends think that being friends with them will reflect badly on my own views. For example, having friends of mine who have different views on women or race. I don't agree with their views but should I distance myself from them just because of that one facet? How do I celebrate their lives and keep my own morals in check?
I guess what is more important is, how do I get my old friends back. How do I incorperate them in my life? I'm afraid that I have made so many strange friends that none of them will get along with I get them in the same room as me. Its like none of my friends life choices match. What do I do? Celebrate their lives but keep them out of parts of my life? I think I've just plain dissappeared from my friends lives. please forgive me. I swear I'm still cool. even though I'm almost the dreaded three-O.
I'll give you an otter pop if you will hang out with me.