Happy Birthday Baba
Today is Abbu's Birthday. He would have been 54. How am I celebrating it?
I don't know...it's hard to celebrate when all you feel is down inside. His death was so long ago now that it's become a part of me. And therefore his memories come and go casually most of the time without tears.
But there is this heaviness today, more than last year, more than last few years that creped up after I got to work. I had a dumb argument with one of the closest people to me which ended up with me hanging up the phone with an abrupt "this is not a good time to talk, bye." And then my eyes started pouring. I looked down and the tears started placing themselves all over my key board, warm tears, that lasted about 5 minutes...and then I called a friend a cried out loud...
After 20 minutes of conversation I was feeling better again...laughing and talking with a slightly broken voice. This friend of mine some how always has the power to heal...one day he will heal the whole world...I know it...or at least our Bangladesh or certain important parts of it.
So Baba is gone. I am celebrating him inside, with a heart full of tears, happy birthday Abbu, you have not changed...but I have...wish I got to know you better...
I don't know...it's hard to celebrate when all you feel is down inside. His death was so long ago now that it's become a part of me. And therefore his memories come and go casually most of the time without tears.
But there is this heaviness today, more than last year, more than last few years that creped up after I got to work. I had a dumb argument with one of the closest people to me which ended up with me hanging up the phone with an abrupt "this is not a good time to talk, bye." And then my eyes started pouring. I looked down and the tears started placing themselves all over my key board, warm tears, that lasted about 5 minutes...and then I called a friend a cried out loud...
After 20 minutes of conversation I was feeling better again...laughing and talking with a slightly broken voice. This friend of mine some how always has the power to heal...one day he will heal the whole world...I know it...or at least our Bangladesh or certain important parts of it.
So Baba is gone. I am celebrating him inside, with a heart full of tears, happy birthday Abbu, you have not changed...but I have...wish I got to know you better...