Saturday Story Time #1
I haven’t posted about anything my family in a while bc my brain had a bit of a meltdown -- partially bc of microdosing daily for 5 months (on the advice of ppl who said it would treat my schiz) but also bc my family pulled 3 epic shit-shows that threw me.
Now that I’m feeling better myself, I’m seeing the complete ridiculousness of what happened and I can laugh about it.
So feel free to laugh too bc I’ve always believed it’s the reason I’m as sane as I am - if I didn’t laugh at the horrible shit, I’d be curled up in a ball in the corner mumbling and rocking.
🎁 You’re welcome!
Long post. Strap on in 😏
I’m going to start with Andre (Asshole Cousin’s 16-year-old son) and I’m only gonna do 1 story per post or it would be a really long post.
If you’ll remember, last I posted about Andre was that he put a gvn in his mouth saying he was suic1dal and CPS was called, but I’m not doing a cut or warnings because it was all gaslighting and manipulation anyway.
That’s what my family is known for, right?
Andre wasn’t actually suic1dal and only did it to get a rise out of his parents knowing CPS would be called AGAIN on them causing trouble. A game. No bullets in the gvn and no intention at all.
We didn’t know that yet, so a few weeks later when Andre called us and said he was in fear for his life from his dad, had already packed and run away from home, we did some kind of Power Rangers call to action shit and all four of us (me, mom, Charlie, Marissa) ended up doing some seriously illegal shit for this kid, not telling anybody else in the family what we were doing so they wouldn’t be implicated.
We took away and shut down all his electronics so his parents couldn’t track him (they had tracking apps bc they saw his bullshit) and got him to a cabin in the woods with plenty of food, and we wiped our own histories, left electronics at home, used old non-smart vehicles so we couldn’t be tracked.
After five days of the four of us doing all sorts of shit to make sure he could get emancipated, getting burner phones and supplies, etc. and keeping ourselves off the radar bc the police were involved and visiting our houses to check for the kid, I sat down and talked with Andre at the cabin. Just the 2 of us.
Four-hour round trip and at the time we were still in completely quarantine bc of my mom’s cancer + not knowing what I now know about Covid.
Okay, so if you didn’t know, for some reason people just tell me things. Secrets. Things they don’t tell anyone else. Pretty much everything comes out of people around me. Not sure why but I use it for good 🫡
And that’s why the 4 of us decided I should be the one to have a talk with Andre. Get everything out of him, see where he wanted to go from here, and then we’d do what needed doing.
The kid immediately starts trying to manipulate me.
Didn’t work but I usually let people think it works so they keep talking and I get more info out of them.
Turns out he loves poking, teasing, and mocking his parents. Finding ways to get around punishments and then shoving his cleverness in their faces.
He doesn’t really want to get emancipated, get a job, get his license to drive, change his life, or put any effort into anything whatsoever.
In fact, he couldn’t wait to call his friends, wanted me to buy him a bunch of games & new PC, get him a burner phone with “at least 1 terabyte of data a month” and a new wardrobe, etc.
He told me all about how he left this tableau in his room for his parents to find that “released truth bombs that would shake shit up and I wish I could see them when they find it.” Like seriously dude?
I was confused as hell because this didn’t sound like a kid who was terrified of being killed by his dad, and in fact the more I talked with him, the more he opened up.
He wanted me to regularly drive him down to his parents’ neighborhood so he could go up to their Ring doorbell and taunt them. He wanted to live at Charlie’s house, and for Charlie to drive him to and from school every day even though they’re across town.
He wanted everybody to take care of him and clean up after him. And the cabin was already a wreck.
He played all four of us. And given the fact that his parents are into games too and would love nothing more than to take us all to court and ruin us, this freaked us the fuck out.
He also was pissed we didn’t do more for him. “Why did papa (grandpa) get me this shitty junk food? It’s not healthy. Next time you come up, bring healthy food.” And more shit like that.
Last straw for me was that he actually didn’t even wanna leave home. He enjoyed playing games too much and actually liked spending time with his mom, dad, and sister. “Running away” was just a lil vacation for him and a fun game to play on his parents in between finding ways to fuck up any of their punishments for bad behavior.
I left him there and came back home, so dazed that I don’t even remember the 2-hour drive home. I laid it all out for the other 3 involved.
Marissa (Charlie’s wife) was sobbing hysterically because she’s terrified of shit like this, and for several weeks after that I made myself physically sick about it too. Charlie and my mom don’t give a shit about doing things that could land them in prison, but Marissa and I want no part of that.
It was all worth it when we thought we were saving an at-risk kid, but once we knew it was all a fucking game, it wasn’t worth it at all.
Charlie immediately drove back up there, packed him up, cleaned the cabin, and drove him down to his old neighborhood and told him to turn himself in to the police.
He told Andre that if he ever said anything about what really happened, we wouldn’t be there for him when he turned 18. That should hopefully work.
I grew up with his mother (Asshole Cousin). She’s plays games with everybody, and bc she was younger than me, most people believed her over me (my mom saw through her shit, which was awesome).
AC’s mom actually hated me and tried to keep me away from AC bc she thought I was a bad influence. Like lady seriously? She’s 7 years younger and had WAY more under her belt by the time we were both teenagers. I’m not into illegal shit but AC loves pushing boundaries and doing whatever she can get away with.
Anyway, I didn’t realize that Andre was pretty much a mini-AC. My mom saw it coming, and I saw some of AC’s traits in Andre, but I had no idea it was THAT bad since we’ve been in quarantine for 3 years and I didn’t have contact with him.
He’s been lying to us, the school, the police, and CPS for years, and we’ve been worried about him for years.
All for nothing. No wonder CPS never followed through on any of the complaints -- they saw through his shit.
Stupidest part is Charlie and Marissa still don’t get it. They think he was just a kid acting out, and they only listened to half of what I said about him. But that kid opened up to me and it felt like I was talking to his mom.
I’m not playing that game again. The PTSD I’ve got is thanks to AC and my dad, so no.
It’s a relief to no longer worry about the kid, but damn this shit-show has been insane, and since Charlie doesn’t see through Andre’s shit yet, when he turns 18 Charlie’s gonna offer to have the kid move up here with him, and it’s gonna be AC in his house all over again.
Charlie didn’t see AC’s shit until just a few years ago after A LOT of damage had been done. Always blamed it on AC’s husband, who plays games too, but he’s not the ringleader.
It’s been several months since Andre pulled this shit, and now that my brain is doing better, I’m not freaking out over this anymore.
I can laugh at the insanity and wonder what my life would be like if all these assholes were even half as insane as they are.
I also have to wonder if maybe I wouldn’t have even gotten involved if I hadn’t been microdosing but I guess that’s more to laugh about bc why not.