numb - for piningflint
Happy Birthday, @piningflint!
Title: Numb
Pairing(s): Sam/Castiel
Word Count: 2.5k
Tags: Fuck or die, curses/spells, dubcon (kinda), pining/unrequieted, first time, dirty talk, rough sex, anal fingering, begging, frottage, intergluteal sex, anal sex, biting, oral sex, orgasm delay/denial
Summary: They’re stuck, and the only way to get out is to do something Sam wants so badly he can taste it. But Cas doesn’t want it. Sam’s sure of that.
Links: AO3 & Tumblr
A/N: This is for Carla, who had a birthday on July 20th!
The first time Sam met Cas, he’d been awestruck. Over the years, he never did get over it, even if Dean thought he had. He played it cool around Cas, but Sam sometimes wondered if what he felt for the angel was bordering on obsession.
He still felt a sense of awe every time he was around Cas. Dean had talked with him about that feeling. The way just underneath the skin there’s almost a vibration or a tickle every time an angel is near.
Sam had stuttered his way through that conversation because he thought it had been part of his obsession with the being. He was only a little disappointed to find out everyone else felt it too. That power being something physical.
Over the years Sam had come to love Cas too. They’d all been there for each other, and even when they didn’t agree, he still cared very deeply for him, and even though he knew Cas didn’t feel the same way, he was certain Cas cared for him too.
After they’d narrowly avoided yet another apocalypse, life kind of went back to normal. The bunker was their home in a way nowhere else had been besides the Impala, and Cas settled in even more than he had before. Sam really liked that, but seeing Cas on a daily basis, being so close to him, it was difficult.
“Cas, I’m really sorry,” Sam said, as he slid down the wall and sat on the dirt floor. The only light inside the small space was from the lantern they’d brought in.
“It’s not your fault,” Cas said, leaning against the wall of the cave opposite Sam.
“You wouldn’t have come in here if I hadn’t been so insistent I needed you to translate the runes,” Sam said miserably as he folded his long legs and scrubbed his hands over his face, wiping the grit from his skin.
The air was already becoming stale even though they’d only been sealed in for about five minutes. Five long minutes where Sam had asked Cas to re-translate the runes exactly thirteen more times.
Sam huffed as Cas started taking off his coat. "Don’t.“
"Do you want me to translate the runes aga-”
“No, no,” Sam said, shaking his head. "I know what they say, but I can’t do that to you.“
Cas frowned. "You’d rather die than have sexual intercourse with me?”
Sam’s stomach tightened. "No, it’s not that. It’s… I can’t force you into… that.“
The corners of Cas’ mouth tugged up just a bit, like he was holding back a smile. "I’m much stronger than you. You can’t force me into anything.”
“You know what I mean,” Sam said, then gestured toward Cas’ body.
“The only way out of here is to break the curse,” Cas said.
“No, the only way for me to get out of here is to break the curse,” Sam said. "You can leave any time you want.“
Cas shook his head and continued taking his clothes off. Sam sighed, staying where he was. When Cas was fully undressed, he spread his coat out on the floor and walked over to Sam, holding a hand out.
"Cas, I-oh!” Sam yelped as Cas grabbed his hand and yanked him off the floor. Sam always forgot just how strong Cas was until he felt it himself. The iron band around his wrist was somehow gentle at the same time, and Cas hadn’t hurt him when he pulled him up.
“We’ve survived too much for you to die this way,” Cas said. "This is completely preventable.“
Sam glanced toward the front of the cave. "Maybe it was just a rock slide. Maybe there is no curse and we just need to dig our way out of here. Bad timing.”
Being so close to Cas was difficult. That vibration under his skin, the way Cas looked up at him with concern in his eyes, the way his thumb was caressing the skin of Sam’s wrist. He smelled good, that fruity shampoo he’d found in the shower, using all of it within a few days, Dean grumbling all the way to the store and back when Cas pouted because it was gone.
He wondered how Cas tasted. How he’d feel under Sam’s hands. Wondered if he’d feel that power even deeper if they were connected somehow. Wished he was numb so he wouldn’t have to feel it all the time. Crave it.
Sam flinched as Cas started to unbuckle his belt. "We don’t even have lube. I don’t want to hurt you.“
Cas leaned forward and kissed Sam’s chest, warm even through the shirts Sam was wearing. Sam closed his eyes, shivering as Cas palmed his crotch with his left hand.
"The instructions were very clear,” Cas said, reaching up and cupping the back of Sam’s neck with his right hand and pulling him down, lips grazing Sam’s as he spoke. "I’m going to fuck you.“
Sam moaned into the kiss, his cock twitching in Cas’ hand. Cas pulled him along, and he went, a thrill in his chest as he let himself forget for just a moment that Cas was only doing this to save his life.
Cas spread him out on the coat, the ground still a little bumpy underneath him, but Sam didn’t care. Not when Cas was pushing his shirts up and off, kissing down his arms, over his chest as he straddled his hips, Cas’ hard cock dragging over Sam’s lower stomach, Sam’s cock trapped under Cas’ ass.
Sam smiled into the kiss as Cas shoved the shirts under his head as a pillow, and it wasn’t until Cas licked his way down Sam’s jaw, his neck, his chest, and stomach that Sam realized Cas knew exactly what he was doing. This wasn’t his first time.
While a part of Sam was jealous, another, much larger, part of him was relieved. Sure, he wanted Cas, but that didn’t mean Sam wanted Cas’ first time to be with someone he didn’t feel a genuine attraction to.
So Sam closed his eyes and spread his legs as Cas got between them, whimpering when Cas sucked his cock like he was hungry for it, and just as Sam was about to come down his throat, Cas pulled off, Sam’s hips straining up to get more.
Sam opened his eyes and pouted, but didn’t have time to complain as Cas turned him over, the strength in Cas’ hands turning him on even more. Sam grabbed the shirts and used them as a pillow, waiting for Cas to bury himself deep inside.
It was a pleasant surprise when instead Cas spread out over Sam and kissed his shoulders, his cock sliding over Sam’s ass crack. The more Cas moved on him, the more Cas’ cock pushed itself between Sam’s ass cheeks until Sam could feel it dragging over his hole.
Sam pushed his ass up, tilting his hips to get more, but Cas took his time. He gasped as the head of Cas’ cock caught on his rim.
"Please, Cas,” Sam begged, voice breathy and desperate.
Sam spread his legs more, hoping Cas would get the idea and just fuck him already. Sam’s cock was hard and leaking onto Cas’ coat, and the thought of it made Sam buck forward, grinding his cock against the coat.
He was quiet. Sam could only hear him breathing softly. It was intense in a way that Sam associated with Cas, and it frustrated him just as much as it made him crave Cas all the more.
“Spread yourself for me,” Cas said, then pulled back.
Sam made a noise that any other time would’ve had him blushing. The noise of someone so desperate they can’t even form words anymore. He reached back and held himself open, exposing himself to the angel kneeling behind him.
“Fuck,” Sam breathed when he realized what he was doing. When the sheer dirtiness of it all hit him like a brick to the face. An angel of the lord was kneeling behind him, and Sam was writhing and begging and spreading himself wide, asshole clenching, all while Cas just sat back and watched.
Sam didn’t even know if it could be called blasphemy, not when said angel was hard and leaking and ordering him to expose himself, but Sam’s head was spinning just the same.
Something wet and warm circled his hole, then pushed in. Sam had assumed Cas would just fuck into him, so the small intrusion confused him for a moment before he remembered that humans needed stretching. A finger, then two, and Sam didn’t know or care where Cas got the lube until suddenly the thought occurred to him that Cas could have simply made it himself or used what was leaking from his own cock.
“Cas,” Sam gasped as Cas added a third finger, lube dribbling down his perineum and over his balls. "Please! Ah, fuck, Cas!“
Sam arched his back, sure that if he just moved right Cas would get on with it, but he just kept it up, fingers moving in and out and around, slow and sure.
Finally. Finally, he pulled his fingers out, and Sam let out a sigh, only to whine when Cas slapped his cock down over his crack, sliding between Sam’s ass cheeks again.
"Fuck, Cas, c'mon!” Sam said, nearly getting up on his knees, wriggling back and forth because maybe, maybe Cas’ cock would just slip in there.
“What do you want, Sam?” Cas said, voice even deeper than usual.
Sam almost came right then and there. "I-inside me. Please. Want you inside me. Fuck me, please!“
"Spread yourself,” Cas said.
Sam couldn’t remember when he’d let go, and he fumbled back, spreading himself again for Cas.
“Good boy,” Cas said, rubbing the head of his cock over Sam’s hole. "Now beg.“
Sam opened his mouth, but the words that fell from his lips came out automatically, as if his brain had shut down. "Fuck me, please. Cas, please, need you inside. Want you inside me so bad. Cas, c'mon, please. Fuck me, please! Ca-oh! Oh, fuck, yeah, Cas!” he whined as Cas slowly sank into him.
Cas didn’t give him time to adjust to the intrusion, and instead started fucking him hard and fast, like he was desperate for it and had been holding back until the moment he was finally inside Sam.
Sam kept holding himself open, the thought of Cas watching his own cock slide in and out of Sam’s hole making his head spin with need.
“Tell me what it feels like to have my cock inside you,” Cas said, shoving Sam’s hands away and grabbing Sam’s hips, pulling him up and back with each thrust.
“Feels so good,” Sam blurted. "Better than I thought it would. More. So much more. Wanted this. Wanted you-ah! In-inside. Feels so fuckin’ good. So full. So fuckin’ full and deep.“
Sam wrapped his fingers around the shirts under his head just for something to hold onto and heard the fabric ripping a little. Cas was pulling him back and up enough that Sam’s cock was swinging beneath him, slapping up against his belly, then dragging over the coat, leaking and making a mess of the coat Cas wore on a daily basis.
His right knee and foot were dragging over the floor of the cave, the coat having bunched up near Cas’ right leg, and Sam felt a swell of excitement in his chest that he’d be able to see the effects of Cas fucking him for days. The bruises on his hips. The scrapes on his right leg.
Sam had never been able to come without at least some stimulation to his cock, and his hands were free once Cas knocked them away from his ass, so Sam reached beneath himself, grabbing his cock only to have Cas growl and slam into him hard enough that Sam was pushed forward, chin scraping over the dirt.
"Don’t touch,” Cas said, and Sam immediately pulled his hand away. "You’ll come with your cock in my mouth or not at all.“
Sam didn’t think he could be any more turned on, but he was wrong, and as Cas pulled him up, hands on his sides strong and sure, Sam cried out, sitting on Cas’ cock, deeper than before and so much more intense with Cas’ arms around him and fucking up into him.
"Cas! Yeah, fuck! Oh, Cas! Gonna come! I’m gonna come!” Sam cried out.
But then Cas was coming, biting down on Sam’s shoulder and jerking up into him without rhythm, cock twitching inside Sam’s hole. Sam gasped as Cas pulled him off his own cock and turned him, laying him down on his back before spreading Sam’s legs and sucking his cock down.
“Cas!” Sam nearly screamed as he thrust up, unable to stop himself as he came down Cas’ throat, Cas’ hands leaving more bruises on his thighs, Sam’s back arching off the floor and his neck straining.
Finally Sam settled, limbs loose and so sated that he couldn’t stop himself when a long moan came from his throat. Cas said something, but Sam didn’t pay much attention until he opened his eyes again and chuckled, seeing his room at the bunker, his soft, familiar bedding beneath him.
“I take it we successfully broke the curse,” Sam mumbled as he rolled over and got comfortable on his bed.“
"Yes, and I’ll be going back to retrieve the artifact,” Cas said. "It should be kept here in the bunker.“
Sam watched as Cas started for the door. "Hey, Cas?”
Cas stopped and turned around. "Yes, Sam?“
The orgasm was over, and even though Sam was still wallowing in the post-orgasmic bliss, his chest was tightening up as it sunk in that Cas didn’t really want to do what he’d done.
"You didn’t have to do that, but thank you,” Sam said as he sat up.
Cas gave him a small smile. "It wasn’t an imposition.“
"Cas, I mean it,” Sam said before Cas had a chance to leave. "You didn’t have to do it at all, but the way you did it… I had a good time.“
Cas nodded. "I did too. If you’d like to do it again sometime, just say so. I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time.”
Sam watched as Cas flew away, disappearing before his eyes. It wasn’t until Cas had been gone for a few seconds that the words made sense, Sam’s brain finally catching up even though all he wanted to do was fall asleep.
“Wait, what?!”
End.