(no subject)

[mayako]

smirnoff really helps me sleep.
but i do crazy shit because of it.

no ecuador for me. not worth it.

i've been having such crazy-ass dreams.
god knows what they mean.

i really miss cameron. i don't think i've missed someone this much.
i hope he's okay, because i've been envisioning the worst.
he really does mean a lot to me.

if the rest of my life is supposed to be cleaning and hanging out with friends i think i might go insane.
that might be enough for some people, but it isn't enough for me.
i need some sort of stimulation, some purpose in life.
i know in my heart that my goal is to see the world, above anything else.

i was watching a lot of anime last night and i really want to go into the gaming industry, possibly as a composer or doing animation.
trying to envision myself doing that just felt right.

i sound really cheesy right now.
but i have lots of time to think at work.

i'm stuck in a rut and i hate it.

how quickly i forget that this is meaningless.