I wasnt living until I died_3 (Fianl)
Author: MAYA
Pairings: Sakumoto, Junba
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Drama, romance, angst, fluff
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, they own themselves.
Notes :
matsuaurore is my heroine v.v
Jun ran as fast as he could toward the hospital, he had a bad feeling, a scaring feeling of Sho leaving him. I shouldn't have said it, he screamed in his mind while the tears were filling his eyes. I should have concealed these feelings longer. Sho… Sho is dying now!
He ignored the nurses calling to stop him. He didn't care anymore about anything, he could only imagine Sho twisting of pain, Sho leaving this life that easy. When he opened the door, he saw the same pale body leaning on the bed. A train of thoughts had invaded his mind. He approached that semi-corpse and put his head calmly on the man's chest. Feeling the other's warmth around him, made his tears falling and wetting the man's shirt.
"Where are you now?" He groaned. His sobs started to go louder. Sorry for saying 'I love you' at this time. Sorry… Sho, don't leave me! Please! His shouts continued for minutes until it was interrupted by someone opening the door.
"Jun…?" He heard a similar voice from the door side, he turned toward the voice to see the same man he avoided since years. His anger got higher at seeing the man’s form. The reason of Sho's suffering.
"Father?" Jun wiped his tears then looked again to his father's side. "What are you doing here?" He said harshly. Matsumoto-san stood silent for moments then asked.
"Were you meeting him since you left the house?" Jun sighed at his father's words. He chose not to reply. He answered with action not words, he turned to Sho's side and leaned to kiss the dry lips softly but longer than it supposed to be. Jun's father looked to the other side, shocked of his son's attitude. But absolutely Jun's answer was enough.
Jun felt his heart beat even if the other man wasn't reacting or rather wasn't aware of his kiss. Jun turned to his father's side again. "How did you know?" He glanced at his father for second then sighed again, "Never mind, if you don't have anything to say then leave." Jun mumbled without gazing behind him.
"Kazu and Sato told me…. How is he?" Jun heard his father saying in a calm tone.
"He is dying…" Jun replied coldly. He heard a gasp from behind, but he didn't look. Instead, he tried to fix Sho's blanket.
"Oh my god… He… He..." Jun turned his face toward his father to see him kneeling on the ground, his hands covering his face. Jun stood in shock and stared at his father crying look.
"Wh-why are you crying… Dad?"
"… I- I didn't fill my promise… I killed my son, I killed our son, Maria!!" His father started to sob loudly, making Jun rush toward him.
"Stop! We are in hospital."
"Jun, what should I do? I- I’ve killed my son!"
"…"
"I wanted to tell him everything! To apologize! To give him everything I have!" Jun had already known the truth that Sho and him were brothers. However, he had never told Sho about it. He felt pity for Sho to live that hard life when his family enjoyed their luxurious life, and that was the exact reason of him leaving the house years ago.
Jun looked to the window's side to see Sho standing there, looking puzzled to the two of them. Jun stood and headed to where the soul was standing. You are okay? Jun smiled brightly to Sho, and so did the other. When he reached the other and after moments of eye talk between them, Jun sighed and turned to his father side.
"Dad? I think he can hear you. Tell him what you want to say." Matsumoto-san raised his face toward Jun, not understanding a word.
"Wh-at d-do yo-u m-mean?" He stammered.
"He is here." Jun looked to the empty place - In his father's eyes- and smiled.
"Wh-?"
"He said, his mother’s real name was Ninomiya Kazuko." Matsumoto -san widened his eyes and yelled.
"You-you can s-see gh- ghosts?"
"Father, hell no! He is not died yet!" Jun shouted and heard a light chuckle beside him.
"Th-then. To make sure, what is Kazuko's most precious thing in her life?"
"Me and the red fancy dress. Me... I mean Sho." Jun answered, his father gasped in shock.
"So, so you are not lying." Matsumoto-san muttered. Jun lowered his eyes, then looked to the window's side and sighed.
"Then, what did you want to say?"
"Is he able to hear me?"
"Yes." Jun's father hesitated for a while, then took a long breathe and spoke.
"Hi Sho. I feel like I am crazy, but yeah, I am sure that you are here." Sho put his hand on Jun's, feeling strangely the warmth of his body. "I- I was in love with your mother before I got married… and I still love Kazuko… B-but, because of the company matters, I-I was forced to marry a woman from a high ladder society… and left her." He stopped for a while, looking hesitantly to the pale body on the bed. "I tried to forget everything about her. But in a weakness situation, I ended up on her door's step begging for forgiveness. And… and… I- we… had sex…" Jun looked to Sho's face to see shock, anger and sadness gathered on his circled big eyes. "She came to my house after five months telling me that her father exploited her and she was pregnant of … you..." Sho lowered his head like a dry flower, he shot his eyes in pain, he was broken. Absorbing all these facts at the same time was hard for him.
He thought about the hard life his mother was facing. The humiliating she received in that house, which supposed to be hers. He remembered the moments of him trying to pay for the hospital by working in their house. He breathed heavily like he was trying to solve the conflicts of his life. He looked sad, highly sad.
When Jun saw Sho in this condition he lost his sense and yelled. "And you let her working in our house as a maid all along that time under my mother care? You are not fair dad! To both my mother and his!" Jun yelled, and carried his father from his collar, "How did you dare?!!"
"I am sorry! I am sorry SHO!" Matsumoto- san crawled to the window's side begging and apologizing. Sho looked at his father, why so late? Where were you when we needed you? He controlled his emotions and asked bitterly.
"Why you need my forgiveness if I am leaving soon anyway?" Sho said in a broken tone and Jun repeated painfully.
"I am not letting you die." Matsumoto-san stood and left the room. They didn't care about his words. Maybe he is going to pay money as usual for a treatment. Instead, Jun walked to where the soul was standing and they exchanged a warm glance.
"So... we are brothers?" Sho chuckled. His voice was full of pain.
"I knew that a long time ago." Jun said. Sho looked curiously to Jun, but smiled sweetly.
"You are a good kisser, Jun." Jun blushed so hard making Sho chuckle. "Jun?" Sho called quietly the other's name waiting for him to respond. Jun hummed, so Sho continued, "You know? As much as I treasure my life... my days become lesser." Jun looked to Sho with wide eyes. "You are my only treasure in this life, Jun. I don't care if I die soon. I want to tell, I love you for a long time. And I still love you now, and promise to love you in my next lives." Sho said in a broken tone brushing Jun's cheek which hardly could be felt in his hands. "When you said you love me, I wanted to reply. But I couldn't… since I am not able to control my disappearance." Jun's eyes filled with tears again. He looked at Sho and tried to say something, but words couldn’t leave his throat, "Don't cry… I don't like seeing your tears." Sho whispered then approached Jun to kiss him. Jun closed his eyes to feel this kiss. But there was nothing anymore. He shot his eyes open to see that Sho wasn't here anymore and hearing the heart tool alerting of the reduction of heart beating.
Nurses and doctor came fast, trying to rescue him. Jun's tears were falling endlessly. He knew that it would happen soon. But didn't expect it after Sho expressing his love for him.
"He is dead." He whispered to himself.
A year later…
The older kissed his boyfriend once he stepped inside their apartment. He whispered a light 'Tadaima' in his ear then kissed it. He moved his tongue to lick the other's neck, hearing sexy moans from the teacher. Jun blushed deeply and looked down.
"Okaeri." He replied, holding his lover's nape while the other kept sucking his body passionately. The older looked up at Jun's eyes and grinned before nuzzling his face back. "I prepared th- the dinner, hah~ stop it ammmm." The teacher moaned when his lover moved his mouth to bite Jun's nipples above the fabric of his shirt. The older stopped for sudden, looking at his lover teasingly.
"What did you prepare for me?"
"Ammm. Guess." Jun circled his arms around the older's neck and looked directly to his eyes.
"And if I answer wrong?"
"Then there is no more sex today."
"What?! No~~" The older pouted cutely. He carried his lover in his arms in a bride style and took him to the bedroom.
"No cheating, baby~"
"Not even a blowjob?"
"No."
The older stayed at the edge of their huge bed thinking deeply.
"Let's see. Sekihan, Sushi, and cake?"
"Correct! How did you guess?" Jun answered with a deep kiss, making his lover lose his balance. The older regained his balance and pushed Jun against the bed.
"Did you think for once that I would forget your birthday?" The older leaned over his boyfriend, taking off his shirt slowly and licking the exposed parts of his body. "Your birthday's presents will be here soon." He pushed his hand under the other's boxer, playing with his boyfriend’s hard cock. Jun groaned loudly when he felt his hard erection being touched by the impact.
"Angh, honey… ha, ha~ wh'what is the presen-t? I am s-o curio-us... Angh." The younger man stammered as his boyfriend kept teasing him, touching the sensitive spots in his body. He grunted lustfully at this affection and rubbed their hips harder together. After the long teasing under his boxer, the older pushed his boyfriend’s boxer and trouser down, having a good look for his lover's exposed body. He leaned to kiss his boyfriend a light kiss on his lips, then, whispered.
"It is a surprise, honey." Then he reached down and touched Jun's stiff member and started playing with the tip, running his fingers over it and over again. Jun smiled at his lover’s tune.
"Aah!" Jun felt his member being gripped eagerly and quickly pumped by Sho's manly fist. Then, Jun gasped when he felt two expert fingers pushing inside his hole. He stretched the younger’s hole, unable to wait more to feel himself inside that perfect body.
When the third finger entered Jun, he spread his legs, offering his lover a better entry. He hated closing his eyes every time they made love, he was afraid of the feeling of losing him. But he couldn't, each time was heaven for both of them.
Seeing the younger man moaning in that perfect form made him unable to handle his heavy cock anymore, he stood to take off his clothes at the same time, while the other was breathing heavily, trying to adjust his breathe since the fingers of his lover weren't inside him anymore.
"Where are you?" Jun mumbled.
"Here baby, here." He knelt in front of Jun and put his lover's legs above his shoulder. The older looked up and smirked teasingly and rubbed the head of Jun's entrance. He pushed slowly his length inside his lover, to hear a soft groan leaving his throat. When the older was completely inside his lover, he leaned down kissing his lover’s forehead, while the younger was panting. His chest was moving up and down, each time their chests met, they felt some sort of conjunctions between them.
"M-move, m-ove… Ah~ You, hah~ you… I-I lo-ve you~" The older reached his limits when he heard the other's man words. He started pushing hard, hitting the other's sensitive spots hundreds of times.
"I lo-love you, Jun~ I- I am cra~zy abo-ut you…" He breathed heavily, speeding up his pace. The room filled with the two heavy breathes, warmth surrounded every angle of their apartment.
"Baby, I am coming~" He thrusted inside him for the last time and came, spreading his seed on his lover stomach.
After moment of silence, the younger asked.
"Now, where is my present?"
"Let’s take a shower first. I don't want my present to see you like this."
"Huh?" He stood up, taking his lover's hands and headed toward the bathroom. "You didn't buy me one, do you?" The teacher looked sharply to his lover. The other just giggled. And started washing his body.
Flashback ~ a year ago :
"Dad, what are you doing!"
"Dear Jun, take care of Sho."
"No dad! Don't jump!"
"That is the only thing I can do as a father."
"DAD!!!!!"
Jun smiled painfully at the memory of his father sacrificing his life, and giving it to his son who had neglected long years ago. He proved his love and regretted for both Sho and his mother in a way Jun and Sho hadn't expected.
Suddenly, they heard the doorbell ringing. The older stood up, he left the bathroom, heading to the cradle and took a white wide shirt with a red skinny trouser and a black necktie. Then left in hurry to the door. Jun heard a noise from outside, and smiled curiously at Sho's presents.
Jun took his time, to give Sho his time in doing whatever he wanted. When he finished, he was wearing the same clothes than his lover but a purple trouser, then headed toward the living room. To Jun's surprise, the living room was full of packages and boxes. He was shocked of the sight in front of him.
"Sho?" He called. Then saw his lover staying on the couch with a little boy. They smiled when he came closer to them. Sho whispered something to the boy, making the boy jump cheerfully and hug Jun's leg.
"Happy birthday! Are you my new father?" The boy looked up, waiting for Jun's answer.
"Eh?"
"Nice to meet you papa Jun. My name is Masu. Take care of me." The little boy smiled cheerfully to his shocked father. Jun knelt in front of the boy taking his small hands to his.
"Say it once again." Jun whispered, his voice vanished out of the shocking situation.
"Papa Jun?" Jun pulled his son to his embrace.
"We- we are a f-family. Real family n-ow?" Sho approached the two, hugging both of them and spreading kisses between them.
"We are. Happy birthday, honey."
They tried erasing their past and starting a new phase on their life. The despair was the power that supported them a long this year. When Sho learned how to be a human, and he Jun learned how a human could be weak, they found their happiness. The thing they both lost 'family' they found it finally. There was that 'unforgettable' father who helped them, he did make a change. And that was the lesson that the pessimistic Sho had learned, along the road of life, a person could meet many people, maybe 99 of 100 person you meet, born and died without changing anything in life. But there is that 1 of 100 who has the ambitious- more than the capability - to make a change.
Here my words for you all, we don't need miracles, we need ambition.
End~P\s : Sekihan : red rice. I read that it is cooked usually for birthdays ~
Saa~ this is the end of this short series XDD Sorry for the late update *bows* My final exams are coming soon, so… yeah~ I know it was sooo cheesy ~ * hides*
See? I am not capable of ending a fiction with a sad end *sighs* I am really sorry for Aiba *^* so that I couldn't bring him till the end, since it would be painful T-T let us assume that he met a good guy and lived a unregretful life :")
My heart was conflicting between Junba and Sakumoto, but at the end Junba side lost against Sakumoto *reddens*
I am happy that Matsumoto-san came back and gave Sho his life, and he left instead. Don't ask me how that could happen, but my mother always tells me about that type of folktales XDD
So, what do you think? I am so curious to know your opinions about it ~
JA..