House 8.17 review: “We Need The Eggs”
Grade: C
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It’s impossible not to catch the obvious parallel of this week’s episode of House with the famous, last line of Woody Allen’s movie ‘Annie Hall’ for it tackles the exact same, rather sad, fatalistic life metaphor: relationships are bound to disappoint since they will never completely fulfill our dreams. But we accommodate, and we adjust, and we still go for it because, eventually, “We Need The Eggs.” Yes, in the end, what this episode tries to tell has a lot to do with the idea of pretense, compromise and comfort zone that we’re ready to settle for by fear of being alone.
In itself, and for once, the message is not as terribly awful and puke-inducing as most of what this last season of House has submitted us to so far and for that I’m ready to be as open-minded as I can for I have some teeny tiny remnants of hope that this could finally lead to something substantial and meaningful. However, it still doesn’t totally justify the path that’s taken to go there, which remains cringe-worthy for most its part. And I’m sorry but no, I can’t condone the ugliness of the journey and silently keep swallowing the crap just for the promise of the so-called beautiful, creative light that will maybe shine at the end of the tunnel. It compensates, a little, but all in all, the end doesn’t always justify the means. Only sheep can walk towards the edge of the cliff without being conscious of their fate, and I’m definitely not a sheep.
Disturbing.
It’s sad to see how the House writers have been so badly cornered by their controversial choices last season that their only option for redemption now forces them to go with offensively provocative storylines just to allow them to go back to the roots of the show and hopefully, I really wish I’m not mistaken here, guide it towards something that will make sense. Sure, hookers are not a new concept in House. Sure, it’s never been denied that House (Hugh Laurie) has always used them for the convenient, uncomplicated aspect of their availability. What is highly dismaying though is the need to put them in the forefront because they’re now the only female/tool characters left that are able to convey the meaning beneath what could potentially be a more respectful final goal.
What is even more disgusting is the trivialized process with which they are included into the storyline with a sort of everyday acceptance that leads to silently validate a debasing depiction of women instead of pointing out the absolute wrongness of their exploitation as sex objects, with no soul or feelings, just as the pathetic doll the patient of the week is allegedly ‘in love with.’
This week in “We Need The Eggs”, we indeed get to meet Henry (Kevin Christy), a guy who suffers from I don’t know what (and I sincerely don’t care) but surely something bad enough to earn him the extreme privilege of being treated by House’s team. That’s not the point anyway. What is meant to catch our attention is that Henry lives with Amy, a super sophisticated $5000 sex doll that looks so much like a real human, it only lacks the ability to speak to be real. But that’s exactly the message here: Amy is as docile as she’s silent and that’s what makes her so perfectly ideal. As Henry shamelessly confesses, he can use Amy to satisfy his sexual needs and whenever he needs to talk, vent or share some feelings Amy just sits there and doesn’t answer back so it spares him the inconvenience of risking an argument. I think I threw up a little bit in my mouth then.
Still, is Henry happy? No. Thank God, the offensive joke tries to subtly deliver a message (more like hammers it to be honest, but the intention is there): Henry is in fact chained inside a world of pretense where the only delusional satisfactions he gets from his fake relationship are meant to be forever frustrating because it’s sadly unilateral.
While contemplating this highly philosophical question (do we really need the eggs that much?) House is looking for some answers too. And, of course, they require the very conspicuous presence of a bunch of hookers in the middle of PPTH, without anyone battling an eyelid. Good thing Foreman (Omar Epps) is not here again this week. Although, would he care? I seriously wonder. So why so many hookers? Because Emily (Noelle Bellinghausen), House’s favorite, wants to quit. Ouch. She’s getting married, or so she says and House is forced to audition her potential successor… Is he really forced to do that though? Of course not! Half-way into the episode, he realizes he doesn’t really need to replace Emily when a much better solution would simply be to ruin her marriage. Duh. So he teams up with his fake wife Dominika (Karolyna Wydra), who’s so stupidly happy to join it really makes me want to punch her in the face. In the end, Emily confesses that she isn’t getting married for real. Her reasons, almost noble, are motivated by the fact that she thinks it’s ‘mean’ to sleep with House in his bedroom while his “wife” waits in another room. A hooker with principles? Aww!
My loudest NO:
Since Henry may have been infected by some sneaky microbes hidden inside his dearest doll’s plastic vagina while he was having sex with it, Adams (Odette Annable) and Chase (Jesse Spencer) perform a pelvic on Amy to check. Yes, you heard me. When did a show that prided itself on tackling intellectually challenging, brilliant topics stoop so low? It hurts to even ask the question. Meanwhile, can someone please hand me a bottle of Pepto-Bismol?
When House is faced with the stressing, potential threat of losing his favorite sex doll/hooker, his first instinct brings him to Wilson’s (Robert Sean Leonard) office to ask for advice. What does the oncologist have to say? He disapproves of House’s methods. Wow, here I am almost thinking for a split second that Wilson is being a rational, caring friend again. But no - foolish me - Wilson only disapproves of House stubbornly clinging to a hooker because he thinks it’d be best for him to woo the super cute, super smart, super available fake wife that’s docilely waiting for him at home. So, in short, according to Wilson, it’s perfectly ok to take advantage of a “legal” situation (Dominika is House’s wife after all) because then it makes her less of a whore? And actually no because later on, Wilson changes his mind: after having put much thought into it obviously, he comes to the conclusion that Emily is a better choice for House: “It’s real without being real. It’s a long-term relationship that can’t actually hurt you. It’s a stepping stone. It means you want more.” Sure, the best way to open House’s eyes and make him realize that what he longs for is a real, meaningful relationship is to suggest some stupid hooker metaphors. Seriously Wilson, just SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!
To help House get Emily back, Dominika comes up with a cunning plan: flaunt her cute body at the poor guy’s face and offer him sex so that he’s caught willing to cheat with his fiancé. It doesn’t work because the guy is in fact Emily’s brother but Dominika still thinks it was fun. What? Pushing a man to cheat on his wife is fun? I’m sorry but, no. It isn’t. So what does it make Dominika for saying that she enjoyed ‘seducing hooker’s fake fiancé’ here? A manipulative, self-centered bitch, that’s what. Seriously, I just can’t wait for her to hit the road once and for all and stop polluting House’s true and meaningful quest with her useless, depraved, unscrupulous character. She’s toxic and no, she doesn’t make House feel good. On the contrary, she just completely prevents him from acknowledging what he really needs; which is clearly NOT a fake wife whose primary reasons to stay were only motivated by the need to get a green card illegally!
Promising.
House can’t hold Emily back so he decides ‘to take a break from the whole hooker thing.’ Finally I tell myself: we get to see House almost take one step out of his comfort zone and away from the pretense. While he may need the eggs, House also understands somehow that it’s sometimes better not to compromise at all cost and it sounds really promising for the remaining of the season. House needs to come clean with what he wants, what he needs and what he can really get. His self-loathing personality forbids him to wish or even hope for something meaningful in his life and that’s why, so far, he’s only hiding behind the easy, uncomplicated solution. “Your last relationship failed so miserably, you ended up in jail” Wilson tells him. Still, that relationship was real. And most of all, it was chosen, willingly, not self-inflicted or compromised. But what does House have now? Hookers to distract him for (as he says) ‘the remaining 57 minutes of the hour he pays for.’ What kind of fake life is that? And how can it be fulfilling? So far unfortunately, the answer to that question isn’t clear enough for House to see. Emily plants in his mind the misleading idea that Dominika may genuinely like him and the stunned look on House’s face then, as he understands the implied meaning of it, is both terrifying and sad: once more, he clings to the comfortable, delusional hope that someone could accept him as he is, saving him from loneliness. But that promise is just as fake as his marriage is: it’s not a challenging relationship because it’s only based on something that’s been predefined in a deal. Where is the reward? Nowhere. So yes, add to that Wilson’s totally misguided advice about craving a relationship while he stupidly omits to specify that it’d also have to be based on REAL feelings, and it irremediably throws House into utter confusion. He comes home at night and collects his mails. Surprise, there’s one letter from Immigration. As he opens it, he discovers that Dominika has been approved for citizenship and will receive a permanent green card soon. That was the deal and he should be happy, or relieved that the sham is over… But no. Somehow, Dominika represents a certain comfort, something House doesn’t have to put any effort into. It’s the easy solution, uncomplicated and immediately available. So eventually, what does it tell us? Emily is not House’s doll. Dominika is. Yes, she is only to House what Amy is to Henry: an accommodation. Sure, she doesn’t judge, she doesn’t bother him and she’s cute but she’s just a distraction. Is she a real challenge though? Not really.
Of course House doesn’t know it yet so he throws the letter into the trash. I’m not surprised by yet another conspicuously provoking move from the writers. But I don’t buy it. It only looks like a sad metaphor that House is not ready to give up the eggs. Still, I expect him to open his eyes and realize that he’s living a lie. Dominika is part of that lie and she rightfully needs to go. Only then will House be able to find what he truly wants and maybe find the strength in him to go after it.
At the same time, while House is unable to see what’s wrong in his life yet, he's still the most caring of all. Only he can pay enough attention to his team to know exactly what their flaws are. And in his own twisted way, his bullying wake-up calls are meant to free them from their chains. ‘You understand the irony here? Everyone in this room has a sex doll,’ House tells them. And he’s right: Taub (Peter Jacobson) has his daughters; Park (Charlene Yi), her parents and Adams throws herself into charity. ‘They’re all excuses for not being in a relationship’. And I find this very interesting to say the least that House is able to see what is wrong in everybody’s life except his…
As for Chase, House’s protégé, he’s the one onto which House probably unconsciously projects his expectations and fears in the most genuine way. ‘You only date whoever happens to cross your path (…) You don’t go looking for the right person.’ Isn’t that the most painful warning of all, as it is cruelly the one that resembles House’s way of life the most? I can only hope that, starting from there, House will now be able to assess his life in a contructive way. Too many things are causing interferences at the moment and he can’t see what he’s really longing for. But as soon as the parasites will be gone (and yes, that includes Dominika) I hope that House will end its journey with a meaningful quest; something that will give the character his long-lost depth back. At last.
Additional notes:
When will someone DARE to tell House that his antics are inappropriate instead of nodding their approval? Not one member of the team has the guts to disagree with House. Worst, not one is bold enough to make him see that if he keeps going that way he’s heading toward an inevitable crash. It’s utterly unnerving.
Isn’t it funny that Park, the looniest of all, now appears to be the most well-balanced? She has a boy-friend and I find myself rejoicing for her. Although she still sings atrociously but hey, you can’t always get what you want!