Intro post, cross-posted to theatrical_fen
OK, my name is Maeby Funke. (That's FOON-kay, as my dad would make me say, but then my dad thinks he's an actor when actually he just stalks the Blue Man Group).
I really didn't come here to talk about my family. Whatever you heard on the news about the Bluths and the Funkes, it isn't true. Well, OK, it is true. It's probably worse. But you know, whatever. I bet your family's not perfect, and when you look deep down, the important thing is that I'm spending the summer in Boston (back where I used to live before everybody I knew was crazy), and I hardly have to talk to them at all.
And OK, I will sort of miss George Michael. But after that whole thing with the model home collapsing under us (though that got totally blown out of proportion on the TV news, it was absolutley NOT an act of God!!! It was just that the construction work on the building was really crappy but I'm not supposed to say that because it counts as an admission or something, and Pop-pop could get sued even worse than he already is) Anyway, after that, it seemed like maybe even though we're cousins it would be good to see meet other people. And it's not like he doesn't have gorgeous Miss Ann to keep him company. (Notice my eyes rolling? *I* don't have a boyfriend and that creature has George Michael. . .I mean George Michael has. . .Ok, i'm just stopping this sentence).
So, anyway, I talked to my parents into sending me to this summer school for kids with differentiated learning paradigms. (I got a scholarship because they said I had the most differential paradigm they had EVER SEEN!!!) Like I said, it's in Boston, and it'll probably be a lot of hard work and really really boring. Nothing to see here, Uncle Joab!
*Invisible to prime_rib and to any other members of Maeby's family.*
OK, so is that the biggest load of BS that I've ever shoveled, and if you know me, that's really saying something!!! There is no summer progam; I got that "differentiated paradigm" stuff from an ad in the back of one of my dad's old Psychology Today's (back before he only read Variety). The truth is that the movie studio where I accidentally got a job last fall was so impressed that I brought the spring break movie in under budget that they put me completely in charge of production for a movie that's being shot in Boston! I'm making more money than anybody in my family (and it's totally tax-free and stuff, because I didn't ever ASK them to hire me, and Barry Zuckerkorn says that makes me exemptified!) And I don't even have to pay to live, because this rich guy who is financing the movie offered for me to stay in some house he owns in Beacon Hill. This is the coolest thing, ever!!! Just, I mean. . .don't tell my uncle Joab (or however his name is spelled. I got a crocodile in spelling, OK?)
I really didn't come here to talk about my family. Whatever you heard on the news about the Bluths and the Funkes, it isn't true. Well, OK, it is true. It's probably worse. But you know, whatever. I bet your family's not perfect, and when you look deep down, the important thing is that I'm spending the summer in Boston (back where I used to live before everybody I knew was crazy), and I hardly have to talk to them at all.
And OK, I will sort of miss George Michael. But after that whole thing with the model home collapsing under us (though that got totally blown out of proportion on the TV news, it was absolutley NOT an act of God!!! It was just that the construction work on the building was really crappy but I'm not supposed to say that because it counts as an admission or something, and Pop-pop could get sued even worse than he already is) Anyway, after that, it seemed like maybe even though we're cousins it would be good to see meet other people. And it's not like he doesn't have gorgeous Miss Ann to keep him company. (Notice my eyes rolling? *I* don't have a boyfriend and that creature has George Michael. . .I mean George Michael has. . .Ok, i'm just stopping this sentence).
So, anyway, I talked to my parents into sending me to this summer school for kids with differentiated learning paradigms. (I got a scholarship because they said I had the most differential paradigm they had EVER SEEN!!!) Like I said, it's in Boston, and it'll probably be a lot of hard work and really really boring. Nothing to see here, Uncle Joab!
*Invisible to prime_rib and to any other members of Maeby's family.*
OK, so is that the biggest load of BS that I've ever shoveled, and if you know me, that's really saying something!!! There is no summer progam; I got that "differentiated paradigm" stuff from an ad in the back of one of my dad's old Psychology Today's (back before he only read Variety). The truth is that the movie studio where I accidentally got a job last fall was so impressed that I brought the spring break movie in under budget that they put me completely in charge of production for a movie that's being shot in Boston! I'm making more money than anybody in my family (and it's totally tax-free and stuff, because I didn't ever ASK them to hire me, and Barry Zuckerkorn says that makes me exemptified!) And I don't even have to pay to live, because this rich guy who is financing the movie offered for me to stay in some house he owns in Beacon Hill. This is the coolest thing, ever!!! Just, I mean. . .don't tell my uncle Joab (or however his name is spelled. I got a crocodile in spelling, OK?)