THE LONG AWAITED SECOND CHAPTER OF RANDY RADCLIFFE
Here is the first chapter as well just to jog your memories back:
THE ADVENTURES OF RANDY RADCLIFFE
(SQUIRREL EXTRODINAIRE)
CHAPTER 1
(RANDY’S WAKE UP CALL)
BRING BRING………BRING BRING. As the phone rang, something began to stir underneath some beer cans and pizza boxes. It was our hero, Randy Radcliffe. Waking up drunk from a night of hard partying Randy slowing stumbled towards the phone, fell over, then got back up and stumbled again. He picked up the phone and said, “Baaaah.”
Then thinking again he said, “Hello, this is the sex god formally known as Randy,”
After trying to make sense out of what the man on the other end said Randy finally realised that his mother Martha had died. Randy had to go back to his home town in California to attend his mother’s funeral. He hadn’t been there for a long time and he didn’t really want to go back. But after a cold shower, and a couple of cups of coffee, Randy packed all of his things up and travelled back to California. Randy got to California 2 days later wearing big black boots, jeans, black leather jacket and dark shades.
The next day was Martha’s funeral so Randy got dressed up in his nicest black suit. When he got to the funeral he saw all of his relatives that he hadn’t seen in a long time. There was Uncle Chub-Chub, Cousin Louey and even Aunty Delilah. After the funeral a man came up to Randy, a man Randy didn’t want to see, it was his old boss, Mr. Dimitri. The work that he did for Mr. Dimitri was the main reason that Randy had left home in the first place. Randy used to be a hitman………?
CHAPTER 2
(THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN BEING A SQUIRREL…)
“Randy, my boy, how ya been”, asked Mr. Dimtri.
“Move it mother fucker”, replied Randy.
“Hey, hey, what’s with all the hostility, it was one time Randy, one time”
“Get the fuck out of my way you slimy mother fucker, and get your fucken hands off my new suit, I don’t need your filthy fucken hands dirtying the fucken thing all up.”
Randy didn’t always have the best of manners, being brought up in a town of violence and corruption, and the job he used to have didn’t really help either. But since moving away he usually kept his bad manners to himself. However, his hatred for Mr. Dimitri was so great that he could not control himself.
“Randy I need your help, I’ve got another job for you, it pays real well”
“I’m out of that business now, fuck off!”
“But Randy, you’re really gonna like what I’m offering”
“Whatever it is you can stick it up your fucking ass you cocksucker”
“I would Randy but Mojo Jojo won’t fit”
Randy stopped walking away. Mojo Jojo was Randy’s brother.
Randy burst out screaming, “You mother fucker, what have you done with my Mojo you ass licking, dog humping, poo pushing son of a bitch. I’ll cut your fucking throat if you lay a hand on him. I’ll hang you by your fucken balls you maggot.”
“Randy, Randy, Randy. Calm down! Mojo’s fine…for now. But if you don’t do what I want, u might find you’ll lose your Mojo? Can we talk now?”
Randy had given in to Mr. Dimitri, there was nothing he could do to save his brother right now, he’d have to bide his time and do what Mr. Dimitri wanted till he could figure out how to get his brother back. Besides, the only thing worse than being a squirrel, is being a dead squirrel.
THE ADVENTURES OF RANDY RADCLIFFE
(SQUIRREL EXTRODINAIRE)
CHAPTER 1
(RANDY’S WAKE UP CALL)
BRING BRING………BRING BRING. As the phone rang, something began to stir underneath some beer cans and pizza boxes. It was our hero, Randy Radcliffe. Waking up drunk from a night of hard partying Randy slowing stumbled towards the phone, fell over, then got back up and stumbled again. He picked up the phone and said, “Baaaah.”
Then thinking again he said, “Hello, this is the sex god formally known as Randy,”
After trying to make sense out of what the man on the other end said Randy finally realised that his mother Martha had died. Randy had to go back to his home town in California to attend his mother’s funeral. He hadn’t been there for a long time and he didn’t really want to go back. But after a cold shower, and a couple of cups of coffee, Randy packed all of his things up and travelled back to California. Randy got to California 2 days later wearing big black boots, jeans, black leather jacket and dark shades.
The next day was Martha’s funeral so Randy got dressed up in his nicest black suit. When he got to the funeral he saw all of his relatives that he hadn’t seen in a long time. There was Uncle Chub-Chub, Cousin Louey and even Aunty Delilah. After the funeral a man came up to Randy, a man Randy didn’t want to see, it was his old boss, Mr. Dimitri. The work that he did for Mr. Dimitri was the main reason that Randy had left home in the first place. Randy used to be a hitman………?
CHAPTER 2
(THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN BEING A SQUIRREL…)
“Randy, my boy, how ya been”, asked Mr. Dimtri.
“Move it mother fucker”, replied Randy.
“Hey, hey, what’s with all the hostility, it was one time Randy, one time”
“Get the fuck out of my way you slimy mother fucker, and get your fucken hands off my new suit, I don’t need your filthy fucken hands dirtying the fucken thing all up.”
Randy didn’t always have the best of manners, being brought up in a town of violence and corruption, and the job he used to have didn’t really help either. But since moving away he usually kept his bad manners to himself. However, his hatred for Mr. Dimitri was so great that he could not control himself.
“Randy I need your help, I’ve got another job for you, it pays real well”
“I’m out of that business now, fuck off!”
“But Randy, you’re really gonna like what I’m offering”
“Whatever it is you can stick it up your fucking ass you cocksucker”
“I would Randy but Mojo Jojo won’t fit”
Randy stopped walking away. Mojo Jojo was Randy’s brother.
Randy burst out screaming, “You mother fucker, what have you done with my Mojo you ass licking, dog humping, poo pushing son of a bitch. I’ll cut your fucking throat if you lay a hand on him. I’ll hang you by your fucken balls you maggot.”
“Randy, Randy, Randy. Calm down! Mojo’s fine…for now. But if you don’t do what I want, u might find you’ll lose your Mojo? Can we talk now?”
Randy had given in to Mr. Dimitri, there was nothing he could do to save his brother right now, he’d have to bide his time and do what Mr. Dimitri wanted till he could figure out how to get his brother back. Besides, the only thing worse than being a squirrel, is being a dead squirrel.