es gibt keinen weg zurück

[maxturbation]

i've lost someone i once held very dear. and i feel a part of me is gone. i am left with a void. and a hole in the wall. and though i in no way release myself from blame, i simply do not understand people. myself included. how we can be so disrespectful. so thoughtless. so cold. and in the end mourn the loss we have created.

"i won't believe...
that you will be there at all...
you know... that I believe...
this is what a friend is for...
i said i won't believe, but then...
i understand that you could see
the signs but not their sense...
don't lay your trust in me..."