/rage /rage /rage /rage/ rage /rage
/BEGINRANT
Damn it all I jsut want to scream!!!!! My mother hasn't been eating recently, which caused her to collapse TWICE today and she is pissed at ME for getting concerned!!!!! My girlfriend recently collapsed due to low blood sugar because of her meds, so my MOTHER collapsing scaed the shit out of me!!!! And she's mad at ME for being worried and upset she hasn't been eating!?!?!?! She blamed her knees at first, and then started in on how *I* need to lose weight. LIKE I DIDN'T KNOW THAT ALREADY!?!?!?! I'm pretty sure she's been drinking a lot more lately than is usual (and fuck if I understand how she can drink like a fish and be sober during the next day) because of an issue regarding my little brother... an issue I am positive will resolve itself in a positive manner! And my mother TRIES to be positive, TRIES to bullshit everyone into thinking she's okay BUT SHE ISN'T!!!! WHY THE HELL CAN'T SHE SIMPLY ADMIT SHE'S SCARED!?!? WHY HIDE BEHIND A BOTTLE!?!?!?! Best of all?? She didn't want me telling her husband, my papa, what happened. Out of sheer exhaustion and being tired of dealing with her whining, I said I wouldn't say anything, and I didn't. Ironically, she asked me to alert my brother not to say anything, and again I said I would tell him our mother said so... but then she asked me to stick around for something, and my bro had already called our pops to come home. And he was fucking livid and immediately guessed it had to do with drinking... lot of anger in the house tonight. Maybe that's why I'm so edgy now.
Furthermore, I've been dealing with my own pains (primarily my sprained ankle) and everyone thinking they're being all kind and considerate to tell me to go to the doctor. Wanna know what the good ol' doc would be saying to me? NOTHING! I'd be talking to a nurse! And he/she would grab my foot, yank it around, order an xray, have it taken, then tell me they can't find anything wrong, wrap it in ace bandages, give me pain meds, tell me to stay off it, ice it, and elevate it. UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME I have to work!!!!! So I have to down several ibuprofen just to get through the day and sometimes even that isn't enough!!! Sometimes I have to come to work on crutches just to get around! And speaking of which, I accidentally knocked my crutches over today while cleaning my room, and they made a loud bang. My mother asked what that was and I told her... and she asked why I even had them out, why I even needed my crutches! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL MOM!!?!?!!?!? Do you NOT remember your son has been limping and struggling to get around because of his ankle!!?!?!? Were you THAT fucking drunk ALREADY!!?!?!?!?!!
I hate that my mother drinks so much. And there's not a damn thing I can do about it either. I have said before what my feelings are (I was even nice and polite and waiting until she was SOBER) but she got all pissy with me and refused to talk about it. I'm so fucking tired of dealing with her when she's drunk. She's usually a happy-idiot type drunk, but she's also extremely moody and tempermental and unreasonable about almost everything... and she whines until she gets her way. Normally she's manageable when she only 'has her buzz on' but lately she's been... to say it politely... smashed. That, mixed with her lack of eating, fueled by the stress is the recipe for what happened to her today... not that SHE'LL EVER ADMIT TO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Sigh* Ok. I'm all ranted out now. See ya later.
/ENDRANT
Damn it all I jsut want to scream!!!!! My mother hasn't been eating recently, which caused her to collapse TWICE today and she is pissed at ME for getting concerned!!!!! My girlfriend recently collapsed due to low blood sugar because of her meds, so my MOTHER collapsing scaed the shit out of me!!!! And she's mad at ME for being worried and upset she hasn't been eating!?!?!?! She blamed her knees at first, and then started in on how *I* need to lose weight. LIKE I DIDN'T KNOW THAT ALREADY!?!?!?! I'm pretty sure she's been drinking a lot more lately than is usual (and fuck if I understand how she can drink like a fish and be sober during the next day) because of an issue regarding my little brother... an issue I am positive will resolve itself in a positive manner! And my mother TRIES to be positive, TRIES to bullshit everyone into thinking she's okay BUT SHE ISN'T!!!! WHY THE HELL CAN'T SHE SIMPLY ADMIT SHE'S SCARED!?!? WHY HIDE BEHIND A BOTTLE!?!?!?! Best of all?? She didn't want me telling her husband, my papa, what happened. Out of sheer exhaustion and being tired of dealing with her whining, I said I wouldn't say anything, and I didn't. Ironically, she asked me to alert my brother not to say anything, and again I said I would tell him our mother said so... but then she asked me to stick around for something, and my bro had already called our pops to come home. And he was fucking livid and immediately guessed it had to do with drinking... lot of anger in the house tonight. Maybe that's why I'm so edgy now.
Furthermore, I've been dealing with my own pains (primarily my sprained ankle) and everyone thinking they're being all kind and considerate to tell me to go to the doctor. Wanna know what the good ol' doc would be saying to me? NOTHING! I'd be talking to a nurse! And he/she would grab my foot, yank it around, order an xray, have it taken, then tell me they can't find anything wrong, wrap it in ace bandages, give me pain meds, tell me to stay off it, ice it, and elevate it. UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME I have to work!!!!! So I have to down several ibuprofen just to get through the day and sometimes even that isn't enough!!! Sometimes I have to come to work on crutches just to get around! And speaking of which, I accidentally knocked my crutches over today while cleaning my room, and they made a loud bang. My mother asked what that was and I told her... and she asked why I even had them out, why I even needed my crutches! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL MOM!!?!?!!?!? Do you NOT remember your son has been limping and struggling to get around because of his ankle!!?!?!? Were you THAT fucking drunk ALREADY!!?!?!?!?!!
I hate that my mother drinks so much. And there's not a damn thing I can do about it either. I have said before what my feelings are (I was even nice and polite and waiting until she was SOBER) but she got all pissy with me and refused to talk about it. I'm so fucking tired of dealing with her when she's drunk. She's usually a happy-idiot type drunk, but she's also extremely moody and tempermental and unreasonable about almost everything... and she whines until she gets her way. Normally she's manageable when she only 'has her buzz on' but lately she's been... to say it politely... smashed. That, mixed with her lack of eating, fueled by the stress is the recipe for what happened to her today... not that SHE'LL EVER ADMIT TO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Sigh* Ok. I'm all ranted out now. See ya later.
/ENDRANT