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Jul 20, 2006 17:10

fend off radical emoting. i'd like to, but for the stress that packs a lunch on my burdened shoulders. it's the mid-day doldrums ( Read more... )

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calm_waters August 20 2006, 23:49:15 UTC
compassionate analysis:

many men cannot sleep in the room with the baby for this very reason. circumstances led us to frustration and pent up anger, both of us. in a new situation i did not react well to giving up any parenting. you weren't okay with yourself and all of your needs (i wasn't ok either), compassion was out of the question. i left portland with the man i loved but he changed during our trip, burdoned with responsibility in fashions not quite expected. i wanted to tell you that i had her taken care of, i had responsiblity as a favor, to relieve you but i think that offended you too. simultaneously i needed support in colorado due to overwhelming.

it was a mess. i couldn't stay.

i know you aren't as angry as a person as you had become this summer. in my heart of hearts i feel that you reacted poorly to stress, that your anger is not my fault. there were times when i was far from helping, though.

i don't really want to be with anyone right now. i want to be your friend and penpal again. i do feel a companionship with you whether or not we're romantically involved.

i love your spirit.

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