Quarter life crisis
So once I got back from Dragon Con I realized how completely unhappy I am with my job. I have mentioned a lot in the past how much I love my boss and that has been true, up until recently. On the rare occasion that I need a sick day it’s not a problem- unless it is related to anything convention or costuming, then it becomes a huge issue. This time, so big of an issue, in fact, that she refuses to believe me that I could not possibly have prevented my insulin pump from breaking in GA and that I didn’t do enough to keep myself from getting sick or getting home. Um... EXCUSE ME!? She has flat out told me that she doesn’t want me going to these events anymore because I “always get sick at them”. I missed one day after Wondercon and now one day after Dragon Con and even came into work all the rest of the week with a mondo cold and the rest of the office kept telling me that I should go home.
The further implications that she made are that I care more about cons than work and that I’m not working hard because I’m just trying to go to cons. Sure… so why am I working at least 9.5 hours a day, then always checking emails and working nights and weekends and the fact that I not had a single sick or vacation day where I did not work a little bit the entirety that I’ve worked there?
All of this and more has helped me come to the realization that I do not like my job. It’s not the company, it’s not even my manager, I just do not like the work, and I do not like office work. I feel like a huge failure, and I feel like maybe I’m just not good at my job but I’m hoping it’s just because I’m not in the right career for me. This job exhausts me. No matter how much or how hard I work things don’t seem to go well for me. I make pretty good money but the saying really is true, that money can’t buy you happiness.
SO I’ve decided to really go for my dreams this time around. What I really want to do, is voice acting. Like character voices. It’s something my friends enjoy that I do and that I love mimicking. I love doing voices and characters and accents and it just makes me happy. I also love movies and cartoons and games and I think this would be something that I will really enjoy. I have reached out to a couple friends that might have some tips or contacts for me so I can get started. I’ve been pointed at a couple local places that offer classes getting started info and help with auditions and demos that I’m looking at but I’m still gathering info but I’m going to pick a direction soon.
I am aware that this could take a LONG time, if ever, to get into but I really want to go for it. In the interim I’m looking for a new day job, and I’m aware that I will probably need to take a substantial pay cut, but I am so miserable right now that I think I could be happy doing something with less onus, where one tiny toe out of place doesn’t make the world blow up.
I would like to be able to not have to work on a weekend, or my vacation, or when I take a sick day. I’d also like to be able to have a social life. Maybe I can find another work from home job and then I can visit friends and just work from their house. As long as I have health insurance and I’m happy, I don’t really care too much what it is right now. I’m just very miserable and feeling so defeated and miserable. I feel like a failure and like I’m regressing in my life, and this all sounds very melodramatic, but I’m fucking miserable :(
Fingers crossed things get better soon.
The further implications that she made are that I care more about cons than work and that I’m not working hard because I’m just trying to go to cons. Sure… so why am I working at least 9.5 hours a day, then always checking emails and working nights and weekends and the fact that I not had a single sick or vacation day where I did not work a little bit the entirety that I’ve worked there?
All of this and more has helped me come to the realization that I do not like my job. It’s not the company, it’s not even my manager, I just do not like the work, and I do not like office work. I feel like a huge failure, and I feel like maybe I’m just not good at my job but I’m hoping it’s just because I’m not in the right career for me. This job exhausts me. No matter how much or how hard I work things don’t seem to go well for me. I make pretty good money but the saying really is true, that money can’t buy you happiness.
SO I’ve decided to really go for my dreams this time around. What I really want to do, is voice acting. Like character voices. It’s something my friends enjoy that I do and that I love mimicking. I love doing voices and characters and accents and it just makes me happy. I also love movies and cartoons and games and I think this would be something that I will really enjoy. I have reached out to a couple friends that might have some tips or contacts for me so I can get started. I’ve been pointed at a couple local places that offer classes getting started info and help with auditions and demos that I’m looking at but I’m still gathering info but I’m going to pick a direction soon.
I am aware that this could take a LONG time, if ever, to get into but I really want to go for it. In the interim I’m looking for a new day job, and I’m aware that I will probably need to take a substantial pay cut, but I am so miserable right now that I think I could be happy doing something with less onus, where one tiny toe out of place doesn’t make the world blow up.
I would like to be able to not have to work on a weekend, or my vacation, or when I take a sick day. I’d also like to be able to have a social life. Maybe I can find another work from home job and then I can visit friends and just work from their house. As long as I have health insurance and I’m happy, I don’t really care too much what it is right now. I’m just very miserable and feeling so defeated and miserable. I feel like a failure and like I’m regressing in my life, and this all sounds very melodramatic, but I’m fucking miserable :(
Fingers crossed things get better soon.