me then and now.
last night i went back and read some of my old journals. i found this survey from 2002.. i thought it'd be kinda cool to take it again.. see how i've changed..
first here's the old one...
Friday, March 08, 2002
APPEARANCE
- hair: short, black
- eyes: blue
- height: tall
-weight: skiny
STYLE
- clothing: black or blue jeans always
- music: mostly goth, punk, and morrissey
- makeup: not really, sometimes. nail polish
- body art: yes.. .
RIGHT NOW
- wearing: white cons, faded black jeans, black shirt
- listening to: the buzzing of this new technological age
- thinking of: now I'm trying to think of what i was thinking
- feeling: shitty, everyday.......
LAST THING YOU...
- bought: i don't buy things. probably gas to get to school though
- did: stole this shit from someones page
- ate & drank: haven't eaten in a while, i drank a pepsi though
- read: comic books.. . ..
- watched on tv: i tried to watch sealab but it isn't on this week
EITHER / OR
- club or houseparty: neither.. . parks, schools and cemeterys
- tea or coffee: coffee,, sweet caffiene
- high achiever or easy-going: it would be nice to achieve something - beer or cider: beer.. . high gravity, damnit, i can't drink though
- drinks or shots: ooooh, chase shots with drinks... .
- cats or dogs: dogs, more fun
- pen or pencil: pen, pencil looks shitty
- gloves or mittens: gloves
- food or candy: it depends, am i hungry,
- cassette or cd: cd's
- snuff or cigarettes: slit my wrists
- hard or mild alcohol: shots of whiskey chased by nati' ice.. .
- matches or a lighter: matches are more fun
- rickie lake or oprah winfrey: i would rather bash in oprah's skull with a rock.
WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
- kill: whoevers around
- slap: slapping is for girls, i kill
- hear from: anyone that i like hearing from
- tickle: i don't know, i've never really wanted to tickley anyone before.
- look like: the look i have is workin out alright
- be like: anyone who doesn't make people hate them as much as i do...
- avoid: huh, people, all people
FAVORITE
- food: i like the burritos at this one place in santa cruz
- drink: coffee
- color: black isn't a color, so i'll go with pink
- album: all time favorite would probably be, london calling, clash
- shoes: cons when walkin, old school vans when skatin'
- site: anything with hardcore gay porno
- dance: i can do a lot of the dance moves from thriller..
- song: song of the dispossesed, dead can dance
- vegetable: everything
- fruit: bannanas are pretty good, but everything
WHAT'S THE...
- last book you read: J.T.H.M. directors cut
- last movie you saw: fortress, shitty
- last movie you saw on the big screen: it's been a while but i think it was Amelie
- last phone number you called: i called mark.
- last show you watched on TV: i have no idea
- last song you heard: alice crucifies the pedophiles, rudimentary peni
- last thing you had to drink: pepsi
- last thing you ate: I think i already answered this and i said i don't know
- last time you showered: this mornin'
- last time you cried: i don't know, it's been a while
- last person you hugged: it was probably mark
- last thing you said: "good nite"
- last person you talked to online: last and first, gashly horror
- last person you talked to on the phone: mark
- last thing you smelled: probably me
Do you...
- smoke: no, never, no way
- do drugs: drugs are fun but i quit
- drink: drinking is what brings me joy in life, but i quit
- have sex: sex is boring,
- sleep with stuffed animals: real animals
- have a crush: no, i don't come in contact with humans that often
- have a boyfriend/girlfriend: no, i'd rather have friend thats a girl than a girl friend
- have a dream that keeps coming back: i never remember my dreams
- play an instrument: guitar, my life
- believe there is life on other planets: oh yeah, you bet
- read the newspaper: not very often
- have any gay or lesbian friends: yep
- believe in miracles: no
- consider yourself tolerant of cops: cops are on my to kill list
- like the taste of alcohol: i love- .. . no more ques. like this.
- have a favorite Stooge: i've never seen that crap in my life
- believe in astrology: nope
- believe in magic: i wish i di
- pray: never. never
- go to church: i will when i start killing people on my kill list.. . save some gas, get'em all there.. .
- have any secrets: i have tons
- have any pets: fish, dogs, cats...
- go to or plan to go to college: i go to college, every now and then
- have a degree: never
- talk to strangers who instant message you: i just downloaded some im shit today... .
- wear hats: rarely
- have any piercings: not any more
- have any tattoos: yes i do ..
- hate yourself: most of the time
- have a "hot spot": my penis....
- wish on stars: never have.. maybe one day
- like your handwriting: it's pretty cool.
- believe in Satan: me and satan hang out
- believe in ghosts: sure
- like sarcasm: what kind of ques. is this... i use sarcasm
- take walks in the rain: if it happens to be raining and i happen to be walking
- sing in the shower: i always do,,,.. . . .
TODAY..
Tuesday, Febuary 15, 2005
APPEARANCE
- hair: black mohawk. long and down
- eyes: blue
- height: tall
-weight: skinny
STYLE
- clothing: mostly jeans and tshirts. dark blue and black jeans.
- music: lots of stuff. mostly old rock, 70s punk, goth, indie, some hip hop
- makeup: no thank you.
- body art: i've gots a few.
RIGHT NOW
- wearing: dark blue jeans, black tshirt, black socks, black cons.
- listening to: andre nicatina
- thinking of: cocaine and doodoo stains
- feeling: got one 40 in me. i'm doin alright..
LAST THING YOU...
- bought: teryaki steak from the hawaiian bbq drive in.
- did: surfin the web dude.
- ate & drank: tery steak, $2 out the door miller 40oz.
- read: some dumb shit on the internet i guess.. someones myspace page or somethin..
- watched on tv: i don't know what it's called. it was on while i was eating.. it had that gal from melrose place as the mom and some big dude that i recognized as the dad..
EITHER / OR
- club or houseparty: that's a hard one.. club if i have money. houseparty if not.
- tea or coffee: coffee.
- high achiever or easy-going: easy-going all the way.. - beer or cider: haha, what am i in england. who drinks cider.. beer of course..
- drinks or shots: shots or straight whiskey..
- cats or dogs: i'm gonna say dogs, even though i love my cats dearly.. dogs are just more fun.
- pen or pencil: pen.
- gloves or mittens: gloves with the fingers cut off so my 40 doesn't slip.
- food or candy: food i guess.
- cassette or cd: CD
- snuff or cigarettes: neither.. if drunk maybe a cigarette.
- hard or mild alcohol: hard all the way..
- matches or a lighter: matches look pretty bad ass
- rickie lake or oprah winfrey: is rickie lake still alive? well, i hate them both.. but i'll say i like oprah more. just cause i wanna be in her audience and get free shit..
WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
- kill: all the shitty crackheads downtown.. no one would miss them.
- slap: i wanted to slap this psychotic bitch at the train station today.
- hear from: i guess any of my friends that i've lost touch with.
- tickle: shit, i don't know.
- look like: i'll keep lookin like me.. if i didn't no one would recognize me.
- be like: i wish i could be more like someone who had a job..
- avoid: anyone who i don't know well who loves making conversation with me.
FAVORITE
- food: mexican, and pesto pasta
- drink: whiskey
- color: they're all pretty cool
- album: my favorite all time album is still london calling, the clash
- shoes: creepers, however i never really wear em
- site: fuck. as much as i hate to admit it.. probably myspace.
- dance: the dance Willard does at the end of the scene in Footloose where Ren is teaching him how to dance.
- song: i was listening to "bonzo goes to bitburg" (ramones) a lot lately
- vegetable: cooked broccoli
- fruit: banannas and strawberries.
WHAT'S THE...
- last book you read: i just read certain parts, but picture of dorian gray
- last movie you saw: life aquatic
- last movie you saw on the big screen: shit, it's been a while.. might have been shawn of the dead.
- last phone number you called: i just looked. i called karina saturday night. i guess i don't call people much.
- last show you watched on TV: already answered that.. i don't know what it's called though
- last song you heard: ol' dirty bastard - got your money
- last thing you had to drink: 40oz miller..
- last thing you ate: tery steak..
- last time you showered: this mornin'
- last time you cried: not sure. i forgot what movie it was, but recently i almost cried watchin it.
- last person you hugged: fuck. who knows
- last thing you said: "thanks" to the guy who sold me the tery chicken
- last person you talked to online: talked to travis about his jam project..
- last person you talked to on the phone: mark.. haha.. same person as 3 years ago.
- last thing you smelled: my rain coat. it smells weird when it gets wet.
Do you...
- smoke: nope. cept when ryan convinces me
- do drugs: no not really.. not for a long long time.
- drink: only on days that end in "ay"
- have sex: when i'm lucky
- sleep with stuffed animals: nope.
- have a crush: naah.
- have a boyfriend/girlfriend: nah.. i'm not too good at those
- have a dream that keeps coming back: spiders. it's nightmare, not a dream.
- play an instrument: guitarrrr
- believe there is life on other planets: hell yeah. alien was a documentary filmed in real time.
- read the newspaper: never
- have any gay or lesbian friends: yes sir
- believe in miracles: no
- consider yourself tolerant of cops: usually i hate them. sometimes they're nice to me though.
- like the taste of alcohol: like candy
- have a favorite Stooge: does iggy count?
- believe in astrology: nope
- believe in magic: what, like those queers on tv?
- pray: maybe when i'm on deathrow or somethin
- go to church: no thanks.
- have any secrets: i have tons
- have any pets: dogs and cats..
- go to or plan to go to college: i went. it's not for me.
- have a degree: nope
- talk to strangers who instant message you: of course.
- wear hats: yeah. i'm a fan.
- have any piercings: yes, but they're only for joke purposes
- have any tattoos: yes i do ..
- hate yourself: i love me
- have a "hot spot": haha.. still my penis.
- wish on stars: why would i do that.
- like your handwriting: i forgot what it looks like.
- believe in Satan: not really.
- believe in ghosts: yes i do..
- like sarcasm: love it
- take walks in the rain: i did today and it fuckin' sucked.
- sing in the shower: yep. .
first here's the old one...
Friday, March 08, 2002
APPEARANCE
- hair: short, black
- eyes: blue
- height: tall
-weight: skiny
STYLE
- clothing: black or blue jeans always
- music: mostly goth, punk, and morrissey
- makeup: not really, sometimes. nail polish
- body art: yes.. .
RIGHT NOW
- wearing: white cons, faded black jeans, black shirt
- listening to: the buzzing of this new technological age
- thinking of: now I'm trying to think of what i was thinking
- feeling: shitty, everyday.......
LAST THING YOU...
- bought: i don't buy things. probably gas to get to school though
- did: stole this shit from someones page
- ate & drank: haven't eaten in a while, i drank a pepsi though
- read: comic books.. . ..
- watched on tv: i tried to watch sealab but it isn't on this week
EITHER / OR
- club or houseparty: neither.. . parks, schools and cemeterys
- tea or coffee: coffee,, sweet caffiene
- high achiever or easy-going: it would be nice to achieve something - beer or cider: beer.. . high gravity, damnit, i can't drink though
- drinks or shots: ooooh, chase shots with drinks... .
- cats or dogs: dogs, more fun
- pen or pencil: pen, pencil looks shitty
- gloves or mittens: gloves
- food or candy: it depends, am i hungry,
- cassette or cd: cd's
- snuff or cigarettes: slit my wrists
- hard or mild alcohol: shots of whiskey chased by nati' ice.. .
- matches or a lighter: matches are more fun
- rickie lake or oprah winfrey: i would rather bash in oprah's skull with a rock.
WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
- kill: whoevers around
- slap: slapping is for girls, i kill
- hear from: anyone that i like hearing from
- tickle: i don't know, i've never really wanted to tickley anyone before.
- look like: the look i have is workin out alright
- be like: anyone who doesn't make people hate them as much as i do...
- avoid: huh, people, all people
FAVORITE
- food: i like the burritos at this one place in santa cruz
- drink: coffee
- color: black isn't a color, so i'll go with pink
- album: all time favorite would probably be, london calling, clash
- shoes: cons when walkin, old school vans when skatin'
- site: anything with hardcore gay porno
- dance: i can do a lot of the dance moves from thriller..
- song: song of the dispossesed, dead can dance
- vegetable: everything
- fruit: bannanas are pretty good, but everything
WHAT'S THE...
- last book you read: J.T.H.M. directors cut
- last movie you saw: fortress, shitty
- last movie you saw on the big screen: it's been a while but i think it was Amelie
- last phone number you called: i called mark.
- last show you watched on TV: i have no idea
- last song you heard: alice crucifies the pedophiles, rudimentary peni
- last thing you had to drink: pepsi
- last thing you ate: I think i already answered this and i said i don't know
- last time you showered: this mornin'
- last time you cried: i don't know, it's been a while
- last person you hugged: it was probably mark
- last thing you said: "good nite"
- last person you talked to online: last and first, gashly horror
- last person you talked to on the phone: mark
- last thing you smelled: probably me
Do you...
- smoke: no, never, no way
- do drugs: drugs are fun but i quit
- drink: drinking is what brings me joy in life, but i quit
- have sex: sex is boring,
- sleep with stuffed animals: real animals
- have a crush: no, i don't come in contact with humans that often
- have a boyfriend/girlfriend: no, i'd rather have friend thats a girl than a girl friend
- have a dream that keeps coming back: i never remember my dreams
- play an instrument: guitar, my life
- believe there is life on other planets: oh yeah, you bet
- read the newspaper: not very often
- have any gay or lesbian friends: yep
- believe in miracles: no
- consider yourself tolerant of cops: cops are on my to kill list
- like the taste of alcohol: i love- .. . no more ques. like this.
- have a favorite Stooge: i've never seen that crap in my life
- believe in astrology: nope
- believe in magic: i wish i di
- pray: never. never
- go to church: i will when i start killing people on my kill list.. . save some gas, get'em all there.. .
- have any secrets: i have tons
- have any pets: fish, dogs, cats...
- go to or plan to go to college: i go to college, every now and then
- have a degree: never
- talk to strangers who instant message you: i just downloaded some im shit today... .
- wear hats: rarely
- have any piercings: not any more
- have any tattoos: yes i do ..
- hate yourself: most of the time
- have a "hot spot": my penis....
- wish on stars: never have.. maybe one day
- like your handwriting: it's pretty cool.
- believe in Satan: me and satan hang out
- believe in ghosts: sure
- like sarcasm: what kind of ques. is this... i use sarcasm
- take walks in the rain: if it happens to be raining and i happen to be walking
- sing in the shower: i always do,,,.. . . .
TODAY..
Tuesday, Febuary 15, 2005
APPEARANCE
- hair: black mohawk. long and down
- eyes: blue
- height: tall
-weight: skinny
STYLE
- clothing: mostly jeans and tshirts. dark blue and black jeans.
- music: lots of stuff. mostly old rock, 70s punk, goth, indie, some hip hop
- makeup: no thank you.
- body art: i've gots a few.
RIGHT NOW
- wearing: dark blue jeans, black tshirt, black socks, black cons.
- listening to: andre nicatina
- thinking of: cocaine and doodoo stains
- feeling: got one 40 in me. i'm doin alright..
LAST THING YOU...
- bought: teryaki steak from the hawaiian bbq drive in.
- did: surfin the web dude.
- ate & drank: tery steak, $2 out the door miller 40oz.
- read: some dumb shit on the internet i guess.. someones myspace page or somethin..
- watched on tv: i don't know what it's called. it was on while i was eating.. it had that gal from melrose place as the mom and some big dude that i recognized as the dad..
EITHER / OR
- club or houseparty: that's a hard one.. club if i have money. houseparty if not.
- tea or coffee: coffee.
- high achiever or easy-going: easy-going all the way.. - beer or cider: haha, what am i in england. who drinks cider.. beer of course..
- drinks or shots: shots or straight whiskey..
- cats or dogs: i'm gonna say dogs, even though i love my cats dearly.. dogs are just more fun.
- pen or pencil: pen.
- gloves or mittens: gloves with the fingers cut off so my 40 doesn't slip.
- food or candy: food i guess.
- cassette or cd: CD
- snuff or cigarettes: neither.. if drunk maybe a cigarette.
- hard or mild alcohol: hard all the way..
- matches or a lighter: matches look pretty bad ass
- rickie lake or oprah winfrey: is rickie lake still alive? well, i hate them both.. but i'll say i like oprah more. just cause i wanna be in her audience and get free shit..
WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
- kill: all the shitty crackheads downtown.. no one would miss them.
- slap: i wanted to slap this psychotic bitch at the train station today.
- hear from: i guess any of my friends that i've lost touch with.
- tickle: shit, i don't know.
- look like: i'll keep lookin like me.. if i didn't no one would recognize me.
- be like: i wish i could be more like someone who had a job..
- avoid: anyone who i don't know well who loves making conversation with me.
FAVORITE
- food: mexican, and pesto pasta
- drink: whiskey
- color: they're all pretty cool
- album: my favorite all time album is still london calling, the clash
- shoes: creepers, however i never really wear em
- site: fuck. as much as i hate to admit it.. probably myspace.
- dance: the dance Willard does at the end of the scene in Footloose where Ren is teaching him how to dance.
- song: i was listening to "bonzo goes to bitburg" (ramones) a lot lately
- vegetable: cooked broccoli
- fruit: banannas and strawberries.
WHAT'S THE...
- last book you read: i just read certain parts, but picture of dorian gray
- last movie you saw: life aquatic
- last movie you saw on the big screen: shit, it's been a while.. might have been shawn of the dead.
- last phone number you called: i just looked. i called karina saturday night. i guess i don't call people much.
- last show you watched on TV: already answered that.. i don't know what it's called though
- last song you heard: ol' dirty bastard - got your money
- last thing you had to drink: 40oz miller..
- last thing you ate: tery steak..
- last time you showered: this mornin'
- last time you cried: not sure. i forgot what movie it was, but recently i almost cried watchin it.
- last person you hugged: fuck. who knows
- last thing you said: "thanks" to the guy who sold me the tery chicken
- last person you talked to online: talked to travis about his jam project..
- last person you talked to on the phone: mark.. haha.. same person as 3 years ago.
- last thing you smelled: my rain coat. it smells weird when it gets wet.
Do you...
- smoke: nope. cept when ryan convinces me
- do drugs: no not really.. not for a long long time.
- drink: only on days that end in "ay"
- have sex: when i'm lucky
- sleep with stuffed animals: nope.
- have a crush: naah.
- have a boyfriend/girlfriend: nah.. i'm not too good at those
- have a dream that keeps coming back: spiders. it's nightmare, not a dream.
- play an instrument: guitarrrr
- believe there is life on other planets: hell yeah. alien was a documentary filmed in real time.
- read the newspaper: never
- have any gay or lesbian friends: yes sir
- believe in miracles: no
- consider yourself tolerant of cops: usually i hate them. sometimes they're nice to me though.
- like the taste of alcohol: like candy
- have a favorite Stooge: does iggy count?
- believe in astrology: nope
- believe in magic: what, like those queers on tv?
- pray: maybe when i'm on deathrow or somethin
- go to church: no thanks.
- have any secrets: i have tons
- have any pets: dogs and cats..
- go to or plan to go to college: i went. it's not for me.
- have a degree: nope
- talk to strangers who instant message you: of course.
- wear hats: yeah. i'm a fan.
- have any piercings: yes, but they're only for joke purposes
- have any tattoos: yes i do ..
- hate yourself: i love me
- have a "hot spot": haha.. still my penis.
- wish on stars: why would i do that.
- like your handwriting: i forgot what it looks like.
- believe in Satan: not really.
- believe in ghosts: yes i do..
- like sarcasm: love it
- take walks in the rain: i did today and it fuckin' sucked.
- sing in the shower: yep. .