It is not enough.

[mavwizard]

I am working. I am not fighting with anyone. I am not obsessively trying to get into a relationship.
I am working out, I am attempting to lose weight, I am paying my bills and getting more in touch with my family.
I meet new people everyday, and everyday I come closer to stabilizing the downward spiral I have been in for, let's face it, nearly 8 years.

Every day, I become less interested in what I have enjoyed for years.

Every day, I grow more distant from the people that I consider to be my closest friends.

Every day, another person I was keeping in touch with blows me off.

Every day, I recede into myself alittle more, because I hate being slighted.

Every day, I see things that I want and know they are out of reach.

My mother asked me last week if I was considering that overweight girls are women too.

My sister told me that she doesn't miss me any more because I'm not around.

I wondered why she was so happy I went to her wedding then?

Every day, the sun comes up, and I wonder if anyone really cares that I get up too.

Every day, I wake up alone.

Every day, I go to bed, alone.

Every day, I eat alone.

Every day is a little brighter.

Every day, there are more clouds.

The fucked up part is that sometimes I see the person who is supposed to be here with me.

I feel the comradery of the people who are supposed to be here, and sometimes I see her family.

But I have no idea who she is. This person who pulls all of these broken things together to make life bearable.

I've never met this person. I couldn't even draw or describe her. I wish I could.

But I do see her sometimes. Out of the corner of my eye. When I turn the corner.

Can I mourn a girl I've never met?

Bloody Hell.