Amusing schedules message

[mavjop]

So, today someone sent a message to "schedules" (a mailing list we on the eng/ops side of the building use to let people know when we'll be out of the office, off work for whatever reason, or whatever) which consisted of 3 lines all the same length.

I was reminded of a schedules message I sent some time ago (the first line is the Subject of the e-mail, but I cut out the word "Subject: " for the purpose of demonstrating its length):

Leaving the office a bit early this evening, I'm afraid I must say

In order to help Roy maintain his exciting and no doubt profitable
life of crime, I will be leaving the office somewhat early on this
fine evening, and driving home, fighting the inevitably horrifying
traffic in order to get home by around seven o'clock in order that
I may be there when his sister and her fiance (or someone claiming
to be her fiance -- indeed it is a matter which I'll have to treat
as taken on faith that she is even Roy's sister, since it is clear
that Roy could be lying) show up, having arrived at SJO -- oops, I
mean SJC, but they're all the same to Roy (and April, if the story
is true) -- with a laptop which Roy, apparently, requires the time
to perform some sort of work on while she is somewhere in the area
but not so close as to be in Roy's neck of the woods, or so I must
assume. Since tomorrow is not a work day (HI ROY!), I'll not bring
the laptop in tomorrow, as I will not in fact be at the office. It
is probable that I will do so on Monday. Sorry about the lengthily
worded message describing all this, but I felt it was necessary to
give Roy a dose of his own fantastic schedules medicine. k thx bye

Oh, BTW, all of this means I will need to leave around 6:00pm - sj

Anyhow, I just thought it was kind of amusing, so I'd post it here.

It was, BTW, inspired by / in response to crankyfool's message:

I need to be up in San Francisco at about 1645 on Friday; in an effort to
work until about 15 minutes prior to this rather than about an hour prior
to this, I shall be working from home tomorrow. Hopefully, neither a toe
nor a head pain shall trouble me and I will be fully useful and available
on lily or phone -- basically all standard communication methods expected

This email may be slightly more amusing to those who read their mail with
fixed-font-width readers; others can just remember I'll not be in my cube