2 more days to go
I'm really kicking myself for not taking a break between jobs but there's nothing I could really do. I'm in need of serious cash. BAD. Bought my new train pass for work on Sunday and *ouch* my soul weeps. Transportation for one month to & from the new job is gonna cost around $200.
It's amazing how nice people are to you on your last days. I-sensei is trying his best to be cordial but I can tell it's really killing him. Today after class as soon as the bell rung he practically ran out of class. I thought maybe he was just busy with something, but lo & behold when I make it down to the teacher's room he's already sitting at his desk seething. Hmm.
I feel a wee bit guilty about lying to everyone...and then again I don't. I've received tons of sweet goodbye letters from the students (and even some homemade cookies!) but what the truth boils down to is this--yes the students liked me, but not as a teacher. The girls seemed to view me as a sort of doll; they were always running commentary on what I wore, how white my skin is, my ever-changing hair color. I amused the boys with my broken Japanese and knowledge of random Japanese shit. It's nice to be liked BUT it's just sad that I failed miserably in my role as a teacher. And that was my breaking point. No, I never really wanted to teach, least of all English, but it still sucks to find out that you have no real purpose. As easy as a job it would be to continue to be the "doll" at the school it's just not fair to either party. The students deserve (as horrible as they can be) someone who is passionate and can break through and really teach them something. And I...deserve to keep my sanity :)
It's amazing how nice people are to you on your last days. I-sensei is trying his best to be cordial but I can tell it's really killing him. Today after class as soon as the bell rung he practically ran out of class. I thought maybe he was just busy with something, but lo & behold when I make it down to the teacher's room he's already sitting at his desk seething. Hmm.
I feel a wee bit guilty about lying to everyone...and then again I don't. I've received tons of sweet goodbye letters from the students (and even some homemade cookies!) but what the truth boils down to is this--yes the students liked me, but not as a teacher. The girls seemed to view me as a sort of doll; they were always running commentary on what I wore, how white my skin is, my ever-changing hair color. I amused the boys with my broken Japanese and knowledge of random Japanese shit. It's nice to be liked BUT it's just sad that I failed miserably in my role as a teacher. And that was my breaking point. No, I never really wanted to teach, least of all English, but it still sucks to find out that you have no real purpose. As easy as a job it would be to continue to be the "doll" at the school it's just not fair to either party. The students deserve (as horrible as they can be) someone who is passionate and can break through and really teach them something. And I...deserve to keep my sanity :)