(no subject)
Yeah, I know I know... I JUST made an entry and now I'm already putting down another. So what's so damned important I HAD to make this post?
Nothing.
Actually, I was watching some FFXI movie on You Tube and I started thinking about the earlier post and how I've changed since then. What's the two got in common? The fact that before I could only see beauty in light things. I spent the greater part of my life denying and trying to overcome my dark side. This rubbed off into other areas, and often the fight would take a more personal agenda when dealing with others. I sought to prove that it was possible to overcome these things. That they are just tricks of the mind which humans are taught growing up. Anotherwards we only think evil is impossible to overcome because we live in a society that leans more to evil. And when people see even their best intentions cause something bad to happen, they lose faith that true goodness in this world is possible.
Yeah, I guess that didn't really explain much at all, did it? I mean sure, you see the logic, but the correlation isn't so good. So let's see if I can put down my thought process here without being too long winded.
The thing is, I am an artistic soul. Notice I did not say "artist." That is such a bland and flat term compared to what I feel in my soul whenever inspiration hits. Anyway, this gives me a very unique interpretation of the world around me. I see beauty in things most wouldn't even notice. The flow of a shadow flickering in the light, the ever so subtle cry in music that speaks of longing, the vibrant colors of the earth after a storm, the silvery aura of clouds glimmering against the pitch black void of the night sky... Colors sing to me, music is a journey, and something as simple as the flow of life can inspire so much.
All that said...I used to have trouble harmonizing with this. I would see beauty in these things and other things that I had always believed was evil. There is beauty in the nude form, not just the flow of the lines, but in the actual expressedly sexual nature of it. Death is beautiful simply in the pain of it. I've often fantasized what it must feel to die, not just the physical but the emotional and spiritual sensation of it. But more to the point of this topic, something I have always found beauty in is the conflict between two opposing forces. At its best it is as though a dance, arcane and beautiful, ever shifting between harmony and dissonance. It is in conflict that all barriers are simultaneously strengthened and dissolved.
Yet, before I could not appreciate such things as they were. I had to try and connect them to light and goodness before I would even allow myself the pleasure of enjoying them. Just to fit my philosophy that all that is good and pure is beautiful. I tried to change so many things to fit how I thought they really were or should be. And because of what I believed was the problem, I did not seek change through myself but through my environment. My charisma made it so that many would be drawn in to the tales I would weave. I spoke of the concept of a utopia as something that could happen, but not in the current state of this world. I truly believed that if you took something pure of corruption and isolated it away from all possible forms and causes of corruption, that it would remain pure indefinitely.
But now, I understand that even the purest of ideas and motives are subject to decay. That infact, said purity is actually more prone to decay. Nothing in this world can remain pure for long. It is this fleetingness of purity and perfection that makes it so precious. Does this mean that it is any less important or powerful when it loses its purity? I'd like to think not. Perhaps it is less able to focus to one specific thing, but overall nothing is lost, just changed.
So yeah, now I am able to appreciate beauty in all forms, even in the darkest nature. And know what? I don't see the world as being broken anymore. It is our understanding of it that is broken. If you paint everything only in tints and never in shades then you will never achieve any sort of depth. And that is true no matter what context you choose to interpret it in.
Nothing.
Actually, I was watching some FFXI movie on You Tube and I started thinking about the earlier post and how I've changed since then. What's the two got in common? The fact that before I could only see beauty in light things. I spent the greater part of my life denying and trying to overcome my dark side. This rubbed off into other areas, and often the fight would take a more personal agenda when dealing with others. I sought to prove that it was possible to overcome these things. That they are just tricks of the mind which humans are taught growing up. Anotherwards we only think evil is impossible to overcome because we live in a society that leans more to evil. And when people see even their best intentions cause something bad to happen, they lose faith that true goodness in this world is possible.
Yeah, I guess that didn't really explain much at all, did it? I mean sure, you see the logic, but the correlation isn't so good. So let's see if I can put down my thought process here without being too long winded.
The thing is, I am an artistic soul. Notice I did not say "artist." That is such a bland and flat term compared to what I feel in my soul whenever inspiration hits. Anyway, this gives me a very unique interpretation of the world around me. I see beauty in things most wouldn't even notice. The flow of a shadow flickering in the light, the ever so subtle cry in music that speaks of longing, the vibrant colors of the earth after a storm, the silvery aura of clouds glimmering against the pitch black void of the night sky... Colors sing to me, music is a journey, and something as simple as the flow of life can inspire so much.
All that said...I used to have trouble harmonizing with this. I would see beauty in these things and other things that I had always believed was evil. There is beauty in the nude form, not just the flow of the lines, but in the actual expressedly sexual nature of it. Death is beautiful simply in the pain of it. I've often fantasized what it must feel to die, not just the physical but the emotional and spiritual sensation of it. But more to the point of this topic, something I have always found beauty in is the conflict between two opposing forces. At its best it is as though a dance, arcane and beautiful, ever shifting between harmony and dissonance. It is in conflict that all barriers are simultaneously strengthened and dissolved.
Yet, before I could not appreciate such things as they were. I had to try and connect them to light and goodness before I would even allow myself the pleasure of enjoying them. Just to fit my philosophy that all that is good and pure is beautiful. I tried to change so many things to fit how I thought they really were or should be. And because of what I believed was the problem, I did not seek change through myself but through my environment. My charisma made it so that many would be drawn in to the tales I would weave. I spoke of the concept of a utopia as something that could happen, but not in the current state of this world. I truly believed that if you took something pure of corruption and isolated it away from all possible forms and causes of corruption, that it would remain pure indefinitely.
But now, I understand that even the purest of ideas and motives are subject to decay. That infact, said purity is actually more prone to decay. Nothing in this world can remain pure for long. It is this fleetingness of purity and perfection that makes it so precious. Does this mean that it is any less important or powerful when it loses its purity? I'd like to think not. Perhaps it is less able to focus to one specific thing, but overall nothing is lost, just changed.
So yeah, now I am able to appreciate beauty in all forms, even in the darkest nature. And know what? I don't see the world as being broken anymore. It is our understanding of it that is broken. If you paint everything only in tints and never in shades then you will never achieve any sort of depth. And that is true no matter what context you choose to interpret it in.