Where do people go when you never see them again?
So.....I said I would delete this thing, but my lazyiness won over once again. I kinda wanted to get rid of LJ but didn't feel like putting out the effort in order to. So yea..... I don't exactly remember the last time I commented on this thing, but I'm having a bad case of insomnia so I figured I would tell of my life after starting at LA Tech. I know there's not much point becuase I doubt many will read, but boredom makes you do things.
So college WOOOHOOO freedom from my hometown, YAY! I was so excited to be going back to dorm life. Am I the only one that expected LSMSA again and got disapointed? Well the first few days there were ok, no classes because we moved in as soon as possible, so me and Ariel spent as much time as possible together, that was fun. But I couldn't get on the internet cause I didn't have my tech e-mail and password. That was probably the only bad part. Oh and the fact that my roomate got the bed by the window. Those rooms are so small grrrrr. But basically me and ariel spent the first few days before classes started in our rooms. In other words it soon grew boring.
But classes started, which was fun, my first quarter I had a bunch of easy classes. The first quarter there was fun, I got out and at least attempted to make a few friends, met a D&D group, met other people to work on some class projects, even joined the anime club. But I never really made any friends I guess. I love Ariel to death, but I think that it is a bad thing to have a girlfriend from the same hometown, at least at first. After I got my refund check for that quarter I went and bought a few things. The more prominent item being the World of Warcraft game. I think it was a combination of WoW and Ariel that made going to LA tech extremly lonely. I don't know, but when you have someone that is always there, you don't usually go out and find anyone else. Even the few friends that I had made at LSMSA were distant to me, after the year of not being around any of them. So here I am with the girl that I love, but as the year goes by I seem to get lonelier and lonelier. The next thing im gona try to describe is a little hard, so excuse me if you don't understand. The relationship between me and ariel steadily grows stronger as it undergoes steady hatred and criticism from outside sources, but at the same time I feel that because we didn't have many other people besides ourselves it almost blew up in our faces a couple of times. I can't even count how many times a fight would start, and honeslty the only thing I can say the reason for it was the loneliness one of us felt. Even though we had each other something else seemed missing.
So we ended fall quarter. Winter quarter for the most part was a blur, but it was also the time that things started to get a little better. Mainly because Ariel started to make some good friends that lifed in her dorm. Eventually they became my friends to, and it got ride of some of the constant stress. But also this is where my grades start to slip. I don't understand what my problem is. I'm smart enough, I think.... but for some reason at time I seem to lose the will to do what needs to be done. At least enough will to make good grades. I always seem to keep myself from failing, somehow. It's like my mind knows barely the amount of slacking I can do to make it through. But like I said winter quarter was a blur to me. Christmas has lost just about all apeal to me, as has most family oriented holidays. Does anyone here know how it feels to lose all contact with your family? To have no feelings torward them, whether it be happiness or anger? To feel so little that you would cry more if a random person died? I don't know when it started happening but that is basically what has happened. I always get strange looks when I say things like this, I'm just wondering if anyone else feels this way.
Well winter quarter ends and thus spring begins. For once I seem to recover from my slump of bad grades. I don't really pull them up all that much, but with spring quarter I am pushed to the breaking point with one of the hardest classes at LA Tech. Also with this quarter I get a private dorm room all to myself. While I have a private room Ariel starts to live in my room with me. I think this is the worst and best thing that ever happened to our relationship. By the time we had to go home for the summer, our relationship had been stretched to the limit by living in that room together for so long. Honestly for once in my life I was happy to go my parents house for the summer. To get rid of the stresses of school and living that closely with someone you love. I say that that was the worst thing for us because it did almost break us up, and for weeks after we moved home I was feeling the reprecussions from it. But also it showed me how far our relationship could be stretched, and it made us look at ourselfs. I think that the two months that we lived together paid off this summer when we cast off the shell of being a typical couple that just thought of the other one and never for themselves. We never understand eavh other more then we ever could before and because of that I think we have reached the level that a lot of couples can never reach. We truly understand each other.
Now something else bug happened this summer. My asshole of a stepdad kicked me out. Honestly doesn't both me that much now because I have a place to stay until school starts. But it did severe any and all feeling I had for my family, at least for my parents. I still love my sisters. I don't think I can ever get rid of that. I love kids.
But this is the way it is now: I'm starting a resolution on the rest of my life. Ariel and I have plans to get an apartment together up at ruston. Both of us have been harmed by our parents and all we want to is to be self-sufficent and never have to ask anyone for help again. Also I plan on making last year that last year of my old self. I am tired of not having anyone around. I love ariel dearly, but we are so close together I might as well be looking into a mirror. And yes with her I shall never trully be lonely, but a person needs more then just one person. I no longer want to be the watcher in life. Another thing is that I have to start training myself. My mind at least, and hopefully my body. If I ever want to finish college I need to push myself to the limit and keep myself there. Not because it takes all of myself to pass college, but if I don't give it my all then I will give it less then I need to to make the best grades.
So basically I want to improve myself. I think the first way I could do that is to stop ignoring old friends. I can't count the number of people that I miss. The number of people who have drifted away from me. I don't know if I will ever talk to these people again, but I can hope. In the end all you have is hope.
So college WOOOHOOO freedom from my hometown, YAY! I was so excited to be going back to dorm life. Am I the only one that expected LSMSA again and got disapointed? Well the first few days there were ok, no classes because we moved in as soon as possible, so me and Ariel spent as much time as possible together, that was fun. But I couldn't get on the internet cause I didn't have my tech e-mail and password. That was probably the only bad part. Oh and the fact that my roomate got the bed by the window. Those rooms are so small grrrrr. But basically me and ariel spent the first few days before classes started in our rooms. In other words it soon grew boring.
But classes started, which was fun, my first quarter I had a bunch of easy classes. The first quarter there was fun, I got out and at least attempted to make a few friends, met a D&D group, met other people to work on some class projects, even joined the anime club. But I never really made any friends I guess. I love Ariel to death, but I think that it is a bad thing to have a girlfriend from the same hometown, at least at first. After I got my refund check for that quarter I went and bought a few things. The more prominent item being the World of Warcraft game. I think it was a combination of WoW and Ariel that made going to LA tech extremly lonely. I don't know, but when you have someone that is always there, you don't usually go out and find anyone else. Even the few friends that I had made at LSMSA were distant to me, after the year of not being around any of them. So here I am with the girl that I love, but as the year goes by I seem to get lonelier and lonelier. The next thing im gona try to describe is a little hard, so excuse me if you don't understand. The relationship between me and ariel steadily grows stronger as it undergoes steady hatred and criticism from outside sources, but at the same time I feel that because we didn't have many other people besides ourselves it almost blew up in our faces a couple of times. I can't even count how many times a fight would start, and honeslty the only thing I can say the reason for it was the loneliness one of us felt. Even though we had each other something else seemed missing.
So we ended fall quarter. Winter quarter for the most part was a blur, but it was also the time that things started to get a little better. Mainly because Ariel started to make some good friends that lifed in her dorm. Eventually they became my friends to, and it got ride of some of the constant stress. But also this is where my grades start to slip. I don't understand what my problem is. I'm smart enough, I think.... but for some reason at time I seem to lose the will to do what needs to be done. At least enough will to make good grades. I always seem to keep myself from failing, somehow. It's like my mind knows barely the amount of slacking I can do to make it through. But like I said winter quarter was a blur to me. Christmas has lost just about all apeal to me, as has most family oriented holidays. Does anyone here know how it feels to lose all contact with your family? To have no feelings torward them, whether it be happiness or anger? To feel so little that you would cry more if a random person died? I don't know when it started happening but that is basically what has happened. I always get strange looks when I say things like this, I'm just wondering if anyone else feels this way.
Well winter quarter ends and thus spring begins. For once I seem to recover from my slump of bad grades. I don't really pull them up all that much, but with spring quarter I am pushed to the breaking point with one of the hardest classes at LA Tech. Also with this quarter I get a private dorm room all to myself. While I have a private room Ariel starts to live in my room with me. I think this is the worst and best thing that ever happened to our relationship. By the time we had to go home for the summer, our relationship had been stretched to the limit by living in that room together for so long. Honestly for once in my life I was happy to go my parents house for the summer. To get rid of the stresses of school and living that closely with someone you love. I say that that was the worst thing for us because it did almost break us up, and for weeks after we moved home I was feeling the reprecussions from it. But also it showed me how far our relationship could be stretched, and it made us look at ourselfs. I think that the two months that we lived together paid off this summer when we cast off the shell of being a typical couple that just thought of the other one and never for themselves. We never understand eavh other more then we ever could before and because of that I think we have reached the level that a lot of couples can never reach. We truly understand each other.
Now something else bug happened this summer. My asshole of a stepdad kicked me out. Honestly doesn't both me that much now because I have a place to stay until school starts. But it did severe any and all feeling I had for my family, at least for my parents. I still love my sisters. I don't think I can ever get rid of that. I love kids.
But this is the way it is now: I'm starting a resolution on the rest of my life. Ariel and I have plans to get an apartment together up at ruston. Both of us have been harmed by our parents and all we want to is to be self-sufficent and never have to ask anyone for help again. Also I plan on making last year that last year of my old self. I am tired of not having anyone around. I love ariel dearly, but we are so close together I might as well be looking into a mirror. And yes with her I shall never trully be lonely, but a person needs more then just one person. I no longer want to be the watcher in life. Another thing is that I have to start training myself. My mind at least, and hopefully my body. If I ever want to finish college I need to push myself to the limit and keep myself there. Not because it takes all of myself to pass college, but if I don't give it my all then I will give it less then I need to to make the best grades.
So basically I want to improve myself. I think the first way I could do that is to stop ignoring old friends. I can't count the number of people that I miss. The number of people who have drifted away from me. I don't know if I will ever talk to these people again, but I can hope. In the end all you have is hope.