(no subject)
I love coming home. I miss it here. As soon as I walked into our house Monday night I was swept with relief. There really is no place like home. And this trip has been nice, but short. I was productive to an extent. Not as much as I could have been but hey, it's me! And tomorrow at some point I go to Dallas and stay the night with my sister. And Saturday I get to go back to CoMo, just in time to go to work Saturday night. And I know I'm going to be sad when I get back there. No offense to people up there--yall are great. It's just not home. And the next time I come home my grandfather will probably be living here with my parents, which will be nice but kinda weird. It's weird enough having no cats here since Tiger and Fluffy both died of the course of the last year. Every time i walk in or out of the house I'm looking for cats... Dune will be here soon enough and I have to be catless at school :(
It seems like there is always drama in my life. I'm ready for there to be none. I'm ready to just pick up and run away. From my thesis and school, from my life in general. I'm ready for a fresh start somewhere. I want my own place with all my stuff (I wish I could afford a house), I'm ready to have a job. Just to pay the bills. And to give me something a little more structured than lounging around writing my thesis. And to decorate a place and not worry about losing my deposit. I'm just ready for something, anything. I need to find the motivation to finish the thesis. To get the writing done. I'm not worried about the actual experiment, just the writing. I just want to get to the point but that's the problem with my proposal. Aside from a few problems, I don't care to elaborate here or there. I know the background, my committee knows the background, anyone who is in this field and studies health comm knows the background. But I keep getting distracted. At the back of my mind I know I'm never going to finish, but I'm still hoping maybe some day I'll get up off my butt and finish it all. And then I'll be free. And then I have to start looking for jobs--Houston, Dallas, Chicago, hell, Europe if I could find a job there.
Nothing ever works out quite how I want it to. And I have a feeling today won't either.
It seems like there is always drama in my life. I'm ready for there to be none. I'm ready to just pick up and run away. From my thesis and school, from my life in general. I'm ready for a fresh start somewhere. I want my own place with all my stuff (I wish I could afford a house), I'm ready to have a job. Just to pay the bills. And to give me something a little more structured than lounging around writing my thesis. And to decorate a place and not worry about losing my deposit. I'm just ready for something, anything. I need to find the motivation to finish the thesis. To get the writing done. I'm not worried about the actual experiment, just the writing. I just want to get to the point but that's the problem with my proposal. Aside from a few problems, I don't care to elaborate here or there. I know the background, my committee knows the background, anyone who is in this field and studies health comm knows the background. But I keep getting distracted. At the back of my mind I know I'm never going to finish, but I'm still hoping maybe some day I'll get up off my butt and finish it all. And then I'll be free. And then I have to start looking for jobs--Houston, Dallas, Chicago, hell, Europe if I could find a job there.
Nothing ever works out quite how I want it to. And I have a feeling today won't either.