Lots of random crap and a weird dream
Hello how is everyone doing, been a while since I have posted. I put a space imbetween the pointless crap and the dream becouse it is the only thing listed that isn't just general banter. A lot has gone on since the last time I posted but it is late and I can't think to well.
I have been reading books lately. I read Dean Koontz's the Taking which I loved once I finished it. Reading through it is a little odd but the ending is great I highly recommend it. Personally I think it is one of the few possible solutions to get humanity out of the moral rut it’s in. I am currently reading Pool Cues, Beer Bottles and Baseball bats by Marc Young. It's about how to use improvised weapons and how to find them in a hurry. It talks about everything from the listed objects to using the common house cat in a bar room brawl. The author is absolutely hilarious and seems to know what he is talking about even if he is rude and insane. Truth is he is so tactless and nuts that he hits the insightful mark. I have a book on how to pick locks and bypass security systems with improvised tools on the way as well.
I got out of a traffic ticket today. I ran a red light because I was late (it just changed so it was still safe) and a cop pulled me over and asked me "Is there any particular reason you didn't want to stop at the light sir?" I told him that I was late he asked me where I was late to and I told him that I was late for work at the state attorneys office. I told me not to worry about it, just not to do it again. It was amazing his whole demeanor changed and he just went form all stalwart and pissed off to nice and down right friendly.
I went to a party in Tampa which was fun, I had my friends with me and they were rather funny to watch up there. It ended with one of the guys trying to drag my friend out of the party with him against her will and me hitting him. However I got rather annoyed with her as well. She was wearing next to nothing (her top was a bandana, the same size I wear on my head) and she was playing real nice with every guy in the room and a drunk took her seriously. Don't get me wrong she has every right to not get raped but sometimes people need to use a little common sense. She was going to sleep over with some other guy because he had a water bed. I reminded her that she has a boyfriend and she just said "but it's a water bed" at which point I took her keys because she was my ride back to Fort Myers and I didn't want to sleep over at some guys place so she could cheat on one of my friends.
Oh and I realized how much people get convicted in trial's in Fort Myers. Between last Tuesday and today I sorted through over 800 cases for the state attorneys office. About half went to trial, less then twenty were found innocent.
I had a disturbing Dream a couple nights ago. I was home on the farm and there was a storm raging, I was in the barn and I had closed the doors (which we don't have, at least were these doors were) and my parents had barricaded me and the dogs inside of it for our own protection. All of a sudden the black mist was everywhere. Normally it creeps up on me and winds up coming around just slow enough to not be noticed but this time it was like the blink of an eye. All of a sudden the mist turned into wolves, but there weren’t normal wolves they didn't feel like animals, they felt malicious, sort of evil but in a very dark way. Instead of attacking the dogs they came after me and fast, faster then wolves should be able to move, they didn't bite me, they burrowed into me. They became like spirits and became a part of me in a weird way. I felt different, much stronger and much clearer thought like my eyes had been opened but in a completely terrible way. All I could feel was contempt, anger and hate for everyone I knew, how to control them and manipulate them to my own purposes, none of which were even close to decent in this frame of mind and in the end kill them. The last thing I could remember before I woke up was a small part of me struggling to keep control but loosing and the black mist becoming a part of me. It was weird and I felt really tired when I woke up until I went to the gym and cleared my head.
Most nights lately I don't sleep well but I don't remember my nightmares I just wake up feeling like I have had them, I used to always remember them but the ones I am remembering now are getting worse and worse. I think it is a byproduct from my dislike of not being able to do anything useful yet; I still have to much school to go through before I can be of any real benefit to society. I volunteer places like the State attorneys office or Harry Chapman’s food bank but then I read about something in the paper like "Grandfather Rapes granddaughter" or "Woman found dead in dumpster" and all I can think is so what, I sorted some food for the homeless, I found fingerprints in the case records for Don. That person is still hurt or dead and I am sitting in B.F.E. learning all kinds of skills that could be helpful but because I don't have a degree yet I can't go out and get a job were I could make a remote difference so I have to sit back and watch the world go to god damn shit. I am stopping now, I didn't actually mean to type this rant but it feels good to put it down but if I continue I am going to sink myself in to a depression and that doesn’t do anyone any real good.
Well thanks for listening (or reading) whoever to whoever is looking at this.
The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn't angry enough.
-Bede Jarrett
I have been reading books lately. I read Dean Koontz's the Taking which I loved once I finished it. Reading through it is a little odd but the ending is great I highly recommend it. Personally I think it is one of the few possible solutions to get humanity out of the moral rut it’s in. I am currently reading Pool Cues, Beer Bottles and Baseball bats by Marc Young. It's about how to use improvised weapons and how to find them in a hurry. It talks about everything from the listed objects to using the common house cat in a bar room brawl. The author is absolutely hilarious and seems to know what he is talking about even if he is rude and insane. Truth is he is so tactless and nuts that he hits the insightful mark. I have a book on how to pick locks and bypass security systems with improvised tools on the way as well.
I got out of a traffic ticket today. I ran a red light because I was late (it just changed so it was still safe) and a cop pulled me over and asked me "Is there any particular reason you didn't want to stop at the light sir?" I told him that I was late he asked me where I was late to and I told him that I was late for work at the state attorneys office. I told me not to worry about it, just not to do it again. It was amazing his whole demeanor changed and he just went form all stalwart and pissed off to nice and down right friendly.
I went to a party in Tampa which was fun, I had my friends with me and they were rather funny to watch up there. It ended with one of the guys trying to drag my friend out of the party with him against her will and me hitting him. However I got rather annoyed with her as well. She was wearing next to nothing (her top was a bandana, the same size I wear on my head) and she was playing real nice with every guy in the room and a drunk took her seriously. Don't get me wrong she has every right to not get raped but sometimes people need to use a little common sense. She was going to sleep over with some other guy because he had a water bed. I reminded her that she has a boyfriend and she just said "but it's a water bed" at which point I took her keys because she was my ride back to Fort Myers and I didn't want to sleep over at some guys place so she could cheat on one of my friends.
Oh and I realized how much people get convicted in trial's in Fort Myers. Between last Tuesday and today I sorted through over 800 cases for the state attorneys office. About half went to trial, less then twenty were found innocent.
I had a disturbing Dream a couple nights ago. I was home on the farm and there was a storm raging, I was in the barn and I had closed the doors (which we don't have, at least were these doors were) and my parents had barricaded me and the dogs inside of it for our own protection. All of a sudden the black mist was everywhere. Normally it creeps up on me and winds up coming around just slow enough to not be noticed but this time it was like the blink of an eye. All of a sudden the mist turned into wolves, but there weren’t normal wolves they didn't feel like animals, they felt malicious, sort of evil but in a very dark way. Instead of attacking the dogs they came after me and fast, faster then wolves should be able to move, they didn't bite me, they burrowed into me. They became like spirits and became a part of me in a weird way. I felt different, much stronger and much clearer thought like my eyes had been opened but in a completely terrible way. All I could feel was contempt, anger and hate for everyone I knew, how to control them and manipulate them to my own purposes, none of which were even close to decent in this frame of mind and in the end kill them. The last thing I could remember before I woke up was a small part of me struggling to keep control but loosing and the black mist becoming a part of me. It was weird and I felt really tired when I woke up until I went to the gym and cleared my head.
Most nights lately I don't sleep well but I don't remember my nightmares I just wake up feeling like I have had them, I used to always remember them but the ones I am remembering now are getting worse and worse. I think it is a byproduct from my dislike of not being able to do anything useful yet; I still have to much school to go through before I can be of any real benefit to society. I volunteer places like the State attorneys office or Harry Chapman’s food bank but then I read about something in the paper like "Grandfather Rapes granddaughter" or "Woman found dead in dumpster" and all I can think is so what, I sorted some food for the homeless, I found fingerprints in the case records for Don. That person is still hurt or dead and I am sitting in B.F.E. learning all kinds of skills that could be helpful but because I don't have a degree yet I can't go out and get a job were I could make a remote difference so I have to sit back and watch the world go to god damn shit. I am stopping now, I didn't actually mean to type this rant but it feels good to put it down but if I continue I am going to sink myself in to a depression and that doesn’t do anyone any real good.
Well thanks for listening (or reading) whoever to whoever is looking at this.
The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn't angry enough.
-Bede Jarrett