(no subject)
its been a while... a long long while... ive been writing things in a notebook rather than on the internet... im still with cory but sometimes... he does things that make me question... u know... like when he jokes around aboot doing stuff with other girls... i know he playing around... but i dont know... he seems to do it at the worst times... like today i was just having a bad ady cuzzz... like i really dont know what made it so abd to begin with... but like today when i came home from school... my mom was basically calling me fat... like me and my older sister... we wear the same size shirts... but my mom always insists that i get a bigger size than her cuz my boobs are little bit bigger than hers... like when me and my momy went shopping... we were getting thermals... and my mom was like 'ooh ill get theses smalls for ash, and you, you get the mediums... those will fit you'... so i thought she just meant cuz of my boobs... then i took them out of the package to see how big they were... and they were pretty big! and i showed my mom... and she was like 'ooh dontworry those iwll fit u just fine!' and then we were picking out jackets... and me i got me and my sister mediums... and when we got home and my sister said hejrs was too small for her... and thne my momy said ' ooh well if its too small for you, then its surely too small for mandi!' and i dont know other stuff too... im so self conscience because of my mom... like she makes me feel bad aboot myself... and i dont like it when people point out my flaws... like i dont like who i am or what i look like... and i constantly wonder why corys with me... i eman copme on... im 15 1/2... i get to see him like once a week... and if my parentsknew i was with him... theyd probly make me brek up with him... and then today he was like 'ausha, im gunna go ahve sex with danielle and her older sister k? and then im gunna go and get tweaked off my ass' and he was kidding... but i dont know... i mean sometimes... and i ahte too say this... but i think i could do way better... like not to brag or be consided... but there is like 3 or 4 guys who like me... and i could have aby of them... and im not going with them cuz i like him... and i dont know... everyoine can always do better... i guess thats a part of loving sdomeone though... you love them for all that they are... flaws and all... fate will take place