DOUBLE HELIXXXXXXXXX
Today:
Ran out, got $77.83 in cash. No wonder people rob banks, they were handing out fat wads like it aint no thang. At my custard job I get to finish off the left over smoothie that dont fit in the customer's cup... I wish I worked at a bank.
Gregory called, and like ice cube, we agreed today was a good day. I called some sleazy hotels, got what i needed, and he came over. We proceeded to do the most thorough pre-production ever, including making pinkish carnation milk that was to substitute for blood.
We went to Smoking Park, to the pic-i-nic table. It was very odd to be there without some gahnj.
Last thursday, while Greg and I were working on our script in the library, mrs. peggy "do you want thighs with this shake? too bad, youre getting some." linski asked us if we wanted to make a video hyping the summer book, "Double Helix" that the rising Jeffersonians are required to read, if they are suckaducks. (they are all suckaducks). She should really know better than to ask us whether or not we would do a video with which we have no parameters and will suffer no consequences when the video turns out to be a tribute to "Blue Velvet", but she didnt, so we said yes.
The great part is, the video is being played immediately after spring break, therefore they will have little to no time to reject our own rendition of this ground shaking masterpiece. Obviously, neither of us have read it.
I lied, there are parameters. We have to include one of three tag lines:
1. And you thought scientists had boring social lives...
2. And you thought all experiments were controlled...
3. [I forget, but be assured, it is as trite as the first two]
So back to Smoking Park. It was decided that I would be the main character after my eight year old next door neighboor Anand was out of town (he just wasnt out side, or staring at me through his window, thus he was assumed to be out of town) and Greg realized that the role requires modest comfort with blood, which Gregory does not have.
I dont want to ruin it for you (emily, do you like how i pretend other people read this) but part of it deals with driving a nail into the pic-i-nic table with a hammer. And because we were making a video, this had to be done over and over, which required the nail to be pulled out of the table. After i drove it in the first time, i started prying it out and created a lot of tension away from the table and toward myself, with the hammer. You know when your little and your brother takes your favorite toy and you pull really hard and he does too and all of a sudden he lets go because hes a little prick, and you fall ass backward on the ground and crack your head open? Well the nail let go, and the hammer bashed against my head, right above my eye. My immediate reaction was to the pain, but a half second later it was to how awesome i am. Now i have a really substantial gash above my eye and Im pretty sure emily was lying when she said facial scars arent hot because I rose probably .5 points, and its still a fresh pussy wound.
We shot the video and ive loaded on my new computer, Johnny 5, and it has potential. Greg and i are both editing it on our own machines, which should make for two interesting versions.
Even if the librarians dont show it school wide, it will be posted on www.brokeproductions.com when the ground is fertile and and the seeds are willing.
ps. there is a good possibility gregory will put a sweet piece of video from sophomore year on brokepro in which he breaks my grandpa's golf club over my back, and we both realize how idiotic we are. check often.
YESTERDAY:
I went to my first focus group, and it was one of those experiences you really wish you had a tape recorder or a pad of paper with you so you could records as much as possible. I was the youngest of the 12 (focus groupies?) there, by at least 12 years. For those of you who havent gone to a focus group, it's an especially eerie situation, because you receive a name card with your own name, not at all unlike the folded up notebook cards teachers have you make the first few days of class. Because of your name card, everyone calls you by your own name, and it violates the natural resistance to socialize that so many great Woody Allen movies have worked so hard to create. I entered the first room, where they served us dinner (tuna sandwiches with miracle whip. not mayonnaise. why the fuck do people need sugar in a tuna sandwich?) and I naturally sat as far away from everyone else as possible--- the end of the table. Only minutes later, I realize this was a horrible mistake, as the largest woman I have ever seen struggled into the room, needing a place to sit. This woman was easily 6'6", 400 lbs. The only other empty chair was between 2 people to my right (Doug and Linda), and because the door was to my left, she had to walk between me and the wall only a few feet behind me,and pretend like she thought she could fit between Doug and Linda. It was obvious to her (Sarah) and everyone else in the room that the only place she would be able to sit would be at the end of the table. where i was. Im really bad at knowing when to stop pretending i dont notice morbid obesity for courtesy's sake so naturally i stayed where i was and Sarah pushed her fat ass through the Straight made by the back of my chair and the wall. you know when you pop a pimple, how there is the oily shit that bursts through and basically explodes the surrounding skin? I was the skin, and sarah was the oily shit. She plastered me against the table and the entire room stopped eating and stared. I am confident that part of me is still inside of Sarah. After she finally squeezed herself through, there was no pretending about her sheer mass, and Doug thoughtfully moved down a seat so that the "incident" wouldnt have to happen again.
When everything stopped shaking, probably out of pride of her ability to violate all of Newton's laws, Sarah started asking everyone at the table questions. This is what I found out about the room:
I was the only person who hadnt been to a focus group before. They all seemed to have been to many before, and had a lot of stories to tell. One guy, Chuck, had a Sherlock holmes mustache and a strong stutter. He thought his focus group experience was really interesting and funny, and stuttered/laughed so much that no one could really understand what he was saying. The most bizarre thing of the whole night was that all of these people were fairly well off, except for maybe one (Michael, who looked a lot like Michael Stipe, and who lied and said he lived with "a roommate" instead of "a boyfriend") yet ALL of them were such fiends for the money they handed out toward the end (I include myself in that statement... $75 cold hard cash).
When it was time for the actual focus group we went into a bigger room (thank god) with two way mirrors (they told us they were two way, which to me felt like a cop out) and we talked to a woman named Anne whose job it is to talk to "average people" and try and understand what will sell. The product idea was an mp3 player in cars that can be accessed and changed using a PC and a wireless network or a portable hard drive. Other than Michael, the only person i really wasnt creeped out by was this woman named Eileen who was a social worker with 7 kids ("the 18 year old lives at the house sometimes. Sometimes she doesnt like living at the house, and leaves.") and was very reluctant to talk, which is probably why i trusted her. I was also reluctant to talk, but because only one other person understood what an MP3 is, and because i was forced to say where i went to high school and subsequently was assumed to be an arrogant genius, I was asked many questions. I really need to start lying about my high school. The other person that knew what an MP3 was was a jerk named "Tad" who frowned at anyone who said they had less than 50 music files on their computer. He talked A LOT. He could have been the focus group, himself.
Basically, the focus group was a very worthwhile experience, for the 75 dollars, and for the people watching. If i ever make a full length movie, it will open at a focus group, a Planned Parenthood clinic, or a talent show, as those are the most cinematic settings I have visited.
Ran out, got $77.83 in cash. No wonder people rob banks, they were handing out fat wads like it aint no thang. At my custard job I get to finish off the left over smoothie that dont fit in the customer's cup... I wish I worked at a bank.
Gregory called, and like ice cube, we agreed today was a good day. I called some sleazy hotels, got what i needed, and he came over. We proceeded to do the most thorough pre-production ever, including making pinkish carnation milk that was to substitute for blood.
We went to Smoking Park, to the pic-i-nic table. It was very odd to be there without some gahnj.
Last thursday, while Greg and I were working on our script in the library, mrs. peggy "do you want thighs with this shake? too bad, youre getting some." linski asked us if we wanted to make a video hyping the summer book, "Double Helix" that the rising Jeffersonians are required to read, if they are suckaducks. (they are all suckaducks). She should really know better than to ask us whether or not we would do a video with which we have no parameters and will suffer no consequences when the video turns out to be a tribute to "Blue Velvet", but she didnt, so we said yes.
The great part is, the video is being played immediately after spring break, therefore they will have little to no time to reject our own rendition of this ground shaking masterpiece. Obviously, neither of us have read it.
I lied, there are parameters. We have to include one of three tag lines:
1. And you thought scientists had boring social lives...
2. And you thought all experiments were controlled...
3. [I forget, but be assured, it is as trite as the first two]
So back to Smoking Park. It was decided that I would be the main character after my eight year old next door neighboor Anand was out of town (he just wasnt out side, or staring at me through his window, thus he was assumed to be out of town) and Greg realized that the role requires modest comfort with blood, which Gregory does not have.
I dont want to ruin it for you (emily, do you like how i pretend other people read this) but part of it deals with driving a nail into the pic-i-nic table with a hammer. And because we were making a video, this had to be done over and over, which required the nail to be pulled out of the table. After i drove it in the first time, i started prying it out and created a lot of tension away from the table and toward myself, with the hammer. You know when your little and your brother takes your favorite toy and you pull really hard and he does too and all of a sudden he lets go because hes a little prick, and you fall ass backward on the ground and crack your head open? Well the nail let go, and the hammer bashed against my head, right above my eye. My immediate reaction was to the pain, but a half second later it was to how awesome i am. Now i have a really substantial gash above my eye and Im pretty sure emily was lying when she said facial scars arent hot because I rose probably .5 points, and its still a fresh pussy wound.
We shot the video and ive loaded on my new computer, Johnny 5, and it has potential. Greg and i are both editing it on our own machines, which should make for two interesting versions.
Even if the librarians dont show it school wide, it will be posted on www.brokeproductions.com when the ground is fertile and and the seeds are willing.
ps. there is a good possibility gregory will put a sweet piece of video from sophomore year on brokepro in which he breaks my grandpa's golf club over my back, and we both realize how idiotic we are. check often.
YESTERDAY:
I went to my first focus group, and it was one of those experiences you really wish you had a tape recorder or a pad of paper with you so you could records as much as possible. I was the youngest of the 12 (focus groupies?) there, by at least 12 years. For those of you who havent gone to a focus group, it's an especially eerie situation, because you receive a name card with your own name, not at all unlike the folded up notebook cards teachers have you make the first few days of class. Because of your name card, everyone calls you by your own name, and it violates the natural resistance to socialize that so many great Woody Allen movies have worked so hard to create. I entered the first room, where they served us dinner (tuna sandwiches with miracle whip. not mayonnaise. why the fuck do people need sugar in a tuna sandwich?) and I naturally sat as far away from everyone else as possible--- the end of the table. Only minutes later, I realize this was a horrible mistake, as the largest woman I have ever seen struggled into the room, needing a place to sit. This woman was easily 6'6", 400 lbs. The only other empty chair was between 2 people to my right (Doug and Linda), and because the door was to my left, she had to walk between me and the wall only a few feet behind me,and pretend like she thought she could fit between Doug and Linda. It was obvious to her (Sarah) and everyone else in the room that the only place she would be able to sit would be at the end of the table. where i was. Im really bad at knowing when to stop pretending i dont notice morbid obesity for courtesy's sake so naturally i stayed where i was and Sarah pushed her fat ass through the Straight made by the back of my chair and the wall. you know when you pop a pimple, how there is the oily shit that bursts through and basically explodes the surrounding skin? I was the skin, and sarah was the oily shit. She plastered me against the table and the entire room stopped eating and stared. I am confident that part of me is still inside of Sarah. After she finally squeezed herself through, there was no pretending about her sheer mass, and Doug thoughtfully moved down a seat so that the "incident" wouldnt have to happen again.
When everything stopped shaking, probably out of pride of her ability to violate all of Newton's laws, Sarah started asking everyone at the table questions. This is what I found out about the room:
I was the only person who hadnt been to a focus group before. They all seemed to have been to many before, and had a lot of stories to tell. One guy, Chuck, had a Sherlock holmes mustache and a strong stutter. He thought his focus group experience was really interesting and funny, and stuttered/laughed so much that no one could really understand what he was saying. The most bizarre thing of the whole night was that all of these people were fairly well off, except for maybe one (Michael, who looked a lot like Michael Stipe, and who lied and said he lived with "a roommate" instead of "a boyfriend") yet ALL of them were such fiends for the money they handed out toward the end (I include myself in that statement... $75 cold hard cash).
When it was time for the actual focus group we went into a bigger room (thank god) with two way mirrors (they told us they were two way, which to me felt like a cop out) and we talked to a woman named Anne whose job it is to talk to "average people" and try and understand what will sell. The product idea was an mp3 player in cars that can be accessed and changed using a PC and a wireless network or a portable hard drive. Other than Michael, the only person i really wasnt creeped out by was this woman named Eileen who was a social worker with 7 kids ("the 18 year old lives at the house sometimes. Sometimes she doesnt like living at the house, and leaves.") and was very reluctant to talk, which is probably why i trusted her. I was also reluctant to talk, but because only one other person understood what an MP3 is, and because i was forced to say where i went to high school and subsequently was assumed to be an arrogant genius, I was asked many questions. I really need to start lying about my high school. The other person that knew what an MP3 was was a jerk named "Tad" who frowned at anyone who said they had less than 50 music files on their computer. He talked A LOT. He could have been the focus group, himself.
Basically, the focus group was a very worthwhile experience, for the 75 dollars, and for the people watching. If i ever make a full length movie, it will open at a focus group, a Planned Parenthood clinic, or a talent show, as those are the most cinematic settings I have visited.