Two months, five days.

[maurkus]

Do you still wear it?
Does it still shine?
I know it's tiny,
But it meant you're mine.

I don't expect that you do.
And I don't mind if it's forgot.
It was a sign of dreams come true,
And now it's clear they've not.

I remember what they meant,
When we first put them on.
Commit each other to willing bondage,
But now, of course, that's gone.

I cannot bring myself to release you,
Even if the effort is token at best.
While titanium may last forever,
What it meant is certainly no test.

But I can't take mine off,
I cannot let myself deny,
That eight long years have happened,
And were dashed in the blink of an eye.

I've always worn such tokens,
Even though they sometimes brought me shame.
Pendant on string and the amber ring,
Even stuffed animals; Cowbear was his name.

But time has passed, the bliss has gone,
You've found better places.
But I don't know how you do it,
Forgetting me while looking at my friends' faces.

I'm learning to forget.
I'm slowly becoming numb.
But I wear it to remember.
To forget would be so dumb.

I must recall, for now and ever,
What that simple band once meant,
And why it does no longer;
To remember is my sole chance to repent.

Those who forget the past are doomed, they say,
To repeat it once again.
I survived this all once,
But to do so again, the chance is slim.

I am a husk of what I once was,
With you gone away.
But though a husk I may be,
I get up every day.

I work my way through the days,
And try not to think of you.
But everything brings thoughts of you,
And the things you used to do.

I don't have to fight for garlic sauce,
If I order pizza pie.
If I sleep in the bathtub,
I don't get the evil eye.

I don't have to worry where my dishes go,
But I try to anyway.
Maybe you're never coming back,
But there are others who wish to stay.

They tell me I should take it off,
That I should stop my talk of you.
That it hurts them to think that they might not compare,
But, often, that's true.

For eight long years, you were by far,
The greatest thing in my life.
You were my love, my breath, my courage,
You were my best friend and my wife.

And though I had no chance,
To save that from it's end,
I did everything I could,
Found job, and house, and friends.

But now you're gone, and I've realized,
No more does it matter,
What you care about, what you want.
Neither former nor the latter.

You loved me once for these things, I'm not about to change them.
If eight long years of knowing is not enough, I'm sorry.
But no matter what you may have wished,
Dishes still are not my main worry.

And with you gone,
I don't have to pretend,
That I care that a few are dirty.
I catch them up when so I feel,
But I'm in no hurry.

Days go by, days go by,
And still I think of you.
Days when I couldn't live my life without you.
But now you're gone, and I still live,
Despite my utmost wishes.
I am still here, though you're not,
Though I miss our times of blisses.

A husk, a shell, I may be,
But there is enough remaining,
For me to grow once again,
Despite your efforts at restraining.

Fuck you, woman!
I still live!
I will not die
At your whim!

But I have to know,
Do you still wear it?
Does it shine, even though it's small?
I know it's tiny, but I still remember...

What it once meant.