the phlegm
Still sick. My ears aren't working properly still... the pain is random and seldom, but mainly I can't hear well. The cold has brought the party to my lungs as well as my sinuses. I fucking hate cough syrup, but I may have to go that route. Work starts in two hours. Monday's are never fun.
So I haven't felt like company lately. I'm in hermit/sick mode. Mainly I needed/need a break from D. I did call him up and invite him to go out for a bagel with me yesterday morning. When he came over, he was all touchy and clingy and just fucking sat around for an hour. Meanwhile I haven't eaten in nine hours, and am growing more and more tired, and just want to go out for a bagel. So I told him, "Let's go get a bagel." And he responds with, "You want to?" Which irritated me since that was the whole point of calling him up. So we go out for a bagel, and now I'm in a worse mood than before, and of course his out-of-town friends happen by. I was not in the mood for that either. When we came back here, he hung out until his conference started, which was after noon. I just wanted him to leave so I could go to bed, and I could not relax until the apartment was clear. I don't feel good, and it is not nice to keep me up so late. And he was like, "I can tell you want to talk..." Which really, really I don't. I just want to be alone. I just wanted him to go so I could be alone. So I haven't contacted him at all today, and by now he knows better than to bother me. I'm not seeing anyone until I feel better.
(And good gods I wish he would stop telling me he just wants me to feel better, because it just comes off a selfish... like he wants me to feel better so I'll be all lovey and sunshine. He kept mentioning that I might be depressed too ... ... which I am not in the least depressed. I'm perfectly happy having some alone time.)
So I haven't felt like company lately. I'm in hermit/sick mode. Mainly I needed/need a break from D. I did call him up and invite him to go out for a bagel with me yesterday morning. When he came over, he was all touchy and clingy and just fucking sat around for an hour. Meanwhile I haven't eaten in nine hours, and am growing more and more tired, and just want to go out for a bagel. So I told him, "Let's go get a bagel." And he responds with, "You want to?" Which irritated me since that was the whole point of calling him up. So we go out for a bagel, and now I'm in a worse mood than before, and of course his out-of-town friends happen by. I was not in the mood for that either. When we came back here, he hung out until his conference started, which was after noon. I just wanted him to leave so I could go to bed, and I could not relax until the apartment was clear. I don't feel good, and it is not nice to keep me up so late. And he was like, "I can tell you want to talk..." Which really, really I don't. I just want to be alone. I just wanted him to go so I could be alone. So I haven't contacted him at all today, and by now he knows better than to bother me. I'm not seeing anyone until I feel better.
(And good gods I wish he would stop telling me he just wants me to feel better, because it just comes off a selfish... like he wants me to feel better so I'll be all lovey and sunshine. He kept mentioning that I might be depressed too ... ... which I am not in the least depressed. I'm perfectly happy having some alone time.)