Restless and Frustrated
Long day. Helped out with "8", which was a really good production. Very important piece, and also spun an interesting narrative.
In the midst of all that, turns out my hedonistic, hipster-loving, imminent catastrophe friend possibly hit that breaking point. Was in the hospital today for pretty much living a terrible lifestyle for too long. Ended up not being able to go on for the show today. Angered, disappointed, and frustrated all of us, particularly when she didn't find things to be her fault. This ended up being the breaking point for me. I've stood by her for a long time now. But all along the way I tried presenting alternatives. But at each turn she blew my suggestions off and went her own way. Well, now she's done it and it has directly impacted all of us, and a friend's business. This crossed a line.
I think what frustrates (hurts?) the most is that I wasn't even a part of this. After all this shit I'm not even part of the communication line. I'm evidently not close enough, good enough of a friend to even be informed she's at the hospital without inquiring. Not important enough to argue with. Furthers my "side character who just lives on the outskirts" view I have of myself, certainly (I haven't gone into this yet, but I will).
Fortunately, another friend stepped up to the plate and replaced her. And I found out after that she's going through some pretty tough stuff right now. So I'm very impressed with her.
Ugh. I think I need a break from these people.
In the midst of all that, turns out my hedonistic, hipster-loving, imminent catastrophe friend possibly hit that breaking point. Was in the hospital today for pretty much living a terrible lifestyle for too long. Ended up not being able to go on for the show today. Angered, disappointed, and frustrated all of us, particularly when she didn't find things to be her fault. This ended up being the breaking point for me. I've stood by her for a long time now. But all along the way I tried presenting alternatives. But at each turn she blew my suggestions off and went her own way. Well, now she's done it and it has directly impacted all of us, and a friend's business. This crossed a line.
I think what frustrates (hurts?) the most is that I wasn't even a part of this. After all this shit I'm not even part of the communication line. I'm evidently not close enough, good enough of a friend to even be informed she's at the hospital without inquiring. Not important enough to argue with. Furthers my "side character who just lives on the outskirts" view I have of myself, certainly (I haven't gone into this yet, but I will).
Fortunately, another friend stepped up to the plate and replaced her. And I found out after that she's going through some pretty tough stuff right now. So I'm very impressed with her.
Ugh. I think I need a break from these people.