The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug Review (Spoilers)
Also reviews for the latest episodes of Teen Titans Go!, Arrow, Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D., Mickey Mouse, Revolution, Almost Human, Sleepy Hollow, Grimm, The Simpsons, Bob's Burgers, Community, Family Guy, American Dad, Dads, Parks And Recreation, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Dracula, and American Horrr Story: Coven.
Upcoming reviews include Futurama: Volume 8, The Simpsons: Season 16, The Wolverine: Extended Edition, Iron Man & Hulk: Heroes United, Monsters University (Blu-Ray), Planes (Blu-Ray), The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, Much Ado About Nothing, and Power Rangers Zeo: Volume 1.
The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug
That was... long. Too long. WAY too long. Considering the relatively brief period of the book the movie covered, it could have easily been an hour less. I think the problem was the Smaug climax. It would have been better if it had been half the length, or if they REALLY wanted to punch it up, a third of the length. The cliffhanger didn't help matters. This is the first Jackson Tolkien film that doesn't feel like it ended at a good stopping point. The end seems rather arbitrary and random. It sort of reminded me a bit of the last scene in Ralph Bakshi's Lord of the Rings to be honest. At least in this case however we know more is actually coming.
I DID like all of the stuff that wasn't covered in the book. Like Gandalf's unseen adventure with Radagast (complete with an appearance by Sauron proper!) and the stuff with Tauriel and Kili. But I think that the parts of the movie that were direct adaptations of stuff in the book went on for too long. I never thought I'd get bored of the scene with Dwarves in barrels, but I did.
I also wish the movie featured Bilbo more heavily. His confrontation with Smaug should have been the climax rather than Smaug versus all the Dwarves. I dunno, unlike the last movie and Riddles in the Dark, I don't feel like Bilbo got a real character scene for himself. And considering that he will probably be largely absent during the last half of the last movie (he was rendered unconscious before the poop REALLY hit the fan) that is a crying shame.
The Battle of Five Armies better be worth it. ***.
Teen Titans Go! "Nose Mouth"
This series has completely gone off the rails and lost me. I am no longer a fan. I am sorry the show ever came back. Do you know why? Teen Titans was never a GREAT show but I still had some fond memories of it that this series is completely trashing. I am beyond disgusted. 0.
Teen Titans Go! "Legs"
My stomach turned at how this episode objectified Raven. Yes, she was kind of sexy on the old show, but in the "she doesn't even realize how beautiful she is" way. The producers never went out of their way to use her for fanservice. Frankly, I'm a bit appalled.
Also, must I point out that these kids are in their early teens? Sexualizing young kids is ALL kinds of ick even for a cartoony cartoon.
You fail at life, Teen Titans Go. 0.
Arrow "Blast Radius"
I don't feel like we EARNED Laurel being smart enough to see through Blood's lies. Because he was SO convincing and had answers for everything. I kind of wondered why she would keep digging after that and I KNOW the character is bad news.
Oliver SO has the hots for Felicity. It's probably best if he keeps that to himself but he's GOT to get over her wanting to date Barry. Now.
I cannot tell what annoys me more: the fact that Oliver was reckless enough to not remember to warn Moira, Thea, and Roy to stay away from the rally, or the fact that those three are so stupid that they have to be told that in the first place.
I want more Slade in the present. Dyin' for it, actually.
Evil Simon! No sales tax for you, Nice lady!
Fun episode. More Slade, please. ****.
Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. "Seeds"
Bored with the stuff at the Academy (REALLY bored) but I loved, loved, LOVED the stuff between Coulson and Skye. I do not feel as let down by Skye's secret as I sort of did Coulson's, and what I most appreciated about it is that it got Coulson to look at what haapened to him in an entirely different way. Skye could have used learning the truth about her parents as an excuse to be mad at the world, but instead she took comfort in the idea that SHIELD was her family all along. I could tell that that had never even OCCURED to Coulson to be an appropriate response to such downer news, and you could tell he was now looking at his own situation through new eyes.
Honestly, the episode wasn't any great shakes otherwise, but because of the stuff with Coulson and Skye, I'm glad I saw it anyways. ****.
Mickey Mouse "Flipperboobootosis"
Sort of funny, but not one of the better outings. I liked the sore traveling between Donald, Mickey, and Goofy though. I don't even WANT to think about how the logistics of that would work. ***.
Mickey Mouse "Tapped Out"
I do NOT need to see Pegleg Pete with pointy nipples, flabby breasts, and body hair. I get that this cartoon seems to be modeling things on Ren and Stimpy a bit but I think that's taking it too far. The rest of the episode was all right though. Goofy volunteering Mickey for the fight (twice!) was hilarious. But the cartoon seriously pushes the boundaries of good taste at times. ***.
Revolution "The Three Amigos"
The thing I want to comment on in this otherwise forgettable episode was that I thought Monroe's tack with his son was MUCH more interesting than what Gold did with Baelfire on Once Upon A Time. He appealed to his son's future instead of his past and also demonstrated how much they had in common. It's a pity it looks like that tactic will turn out to be a disaster.
I had the same reaction Monroe did to Rachel's "bloodline" comment. She is directly responsible for a thousand times the deaths Monroe is. The Matheson family tree is hardly bloodless.
I didn't much like this episode. **1/2.
Revolution "Mis Dos Padres"
Line of the night goes to Miles' appraisal of Monroe right before the act break: "You're a d*ck." And how!
I don't know HOW Monroe can possibly think he can restart the Monroe Republic with Miles alive. Does he just think Miles is gonna step back and let him? Frankly, this plan seems extra squirrely, even for Bass.
Neville and Sarah's dance was getting ridiculous and I don't blame Jason for becoming fed up. Anything that happens to him is their fault. He HAD to do something. That they wouldn't was remarkabley poor judgment on their part.
I think I realize now why the A.I. let Cynthia die: for the same reason it drove Priscilla so insane that her husband left: it wants its Mommy and Daddy to get back together. Cynthia was ALWAYS gonna die. It just happened before the A.I. had a chance to do it itself. It is the kid that wants its estranged parents reunited. It's Hayley Mills in The Parent Trap. Do you know the messed up thing? It just might get what it wants.
We'll see how the plague goes next week before I judge it.
Good episode. ****.
Almost Human "You Are Here"
I was right last week. Kennix DOES like Dorian. A lot. Heh.
This was a pretty good episode although I don't have much else to say about it besides that. ****.
Sleepy Hollow "Vessel"
Most shows would have taken last episode's creepy scene of Irving in the park with his daughter and simply let the audience stew with its implications for awhile and not solved it for a couple of seasons, or in some cases, ever. Most shows are not Sleepy Hollow.
This show does SO much, is SO epic, and in such a short space of time (even for a show with Bad Robot producers) that we have basically been given three seasons worth of a different show's mythology in 11 episodes. And there are still two episodes to go. I seriously think this show could be the next Lost rather than the next Fringe. It is totally possible.
The only show I can think of that gives out more epicness at once is Doctor Who and even that show is notoriously stingy about actually answering questions. I am seriously impressed. ****1/2.
Grimm "Eyes Of The Beholder"
Super weak episode. I wasn't expecting much based on NBC's racist promos (Only thing worse than a Wesen is a black Wesen!) and the episode delivered mediocrity.
Honestly, I'm beyond fed up with Juliet. It's nice they she managed to get her licks in at the end, but telling her friend that Nick was a Grimm without preparing her for it is how people die. It is like casually outing a Jewish person in WWII Poland. I'm not saying Nick is a Nazi, but from her friends perspective? Nick is JUST as dangerous. That's not something you just blurt out.
Ironically the stuff with Hank, although annoying, was much less annoying than NBC's promos suggested. You wouldn't have guessed from the promos that the Wesen were different ethnicities. The episode was pretty color-blind actually. NBC was trying to push racial buttons and did Grimm no favors. If this were a better episode I'd be steamed about it, actually.
Bad night for Grimm. *1/2.
The Simpsons "Married To The Blob"
Terrific episode. One of the major things Futurama has always had over The Simpsons is the fact that their "geek" pop culture stuff has always been fresher. The Simpsons seems to be stuck on Stan Lee comics from the 70's and Star Trek movies from the 80's (heck Lee even guest starred tonight!). This episode was geeky enough for modern audiences. I love the idea of an alternate last episode for Lost that also answers all of the questions from Twin Peaks. That is NOT a joke the show would have made ten seasons ago. It seems MUCH savvier now when it comes to the nerd stuff.
Harlan Ellison's appearance was hilarious but the producers shouldn't be surprised if he winds up suing them too.
Marrying off Comic Book Guy was a great idea. And it doesn't even have to change the character all that much. His lucklessness with women was always the most cliched thing about the character and I think him having someone to bounce nerd stuff off of could help him.
I'm just gonna say it: they should have hired an actual Japanese American actress instead of Tress MacNielle. Doing stuff like that is how they wound up in such trouble with Apu. Now there are a TON more Japanese characters currently on TV than there are Indians, but I'm just saying it COULD become a problem in the future.
Loved the Mr. Sparkle running joke. Because they kind of HAD to have it, you know? You wonder why it never came up in 30 Minutes Over Tokyo.
Pretty great episode. ****1/2.
Bob's Burgers "Presto Tina-O"
I was getting as fed up with Jimmy Junior as Tina was. I'm starting to wonder what she ever saw in him in the first place. He is SUCH a loser.
She shouldn't have come to his rescue at the end. He needed to learn a lesson and he didn't really get it.
The stuff with Bob and the magicians was MUCH more successful and I loved Louise trying to pick Andy's pocket while Ollie felt it. REALLY twisted stuff.
Still, I'm annoyed. **1/2.
Community "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"
So-so. I think the Law and Order episode was WAY better than this although this was admittedly a better crime than a murdered yam. But I didn't feel like Starburns' return was earned. Still, I was SO happy to see Duncan again. I still think he's the culprit and that he got got by a copycat.
Pierce's death: I'm glad they gave the character a definitive ending but I kind of hope they cleared it with Chevy Chase first. The guy WAS gracious enough to film a goodbye scene in the premiere and I hope they didn't just off him out of spite.
I am VERY nervous that they haven't even HINTED Troy is leaving. He better appear in the finale.
All right. ***.
Community "Cooperative Polygraphy"
Possibly the best episode title since "Modern Warfare".
How awesome is Dan Harmon? He manages to gives us one last great Pierce character piece AFTER they've killed the character off. That is REALLY cool. And I was even happier at the reason Troy is going to be absent for the rest of the season. It makes sense and also means that Donald Glover can come back full-time next season if he chooses to. I love how they tied both things together like that.
Some of those secrets were really funny like the idea of Abed planting tracking chips in everybody ("I can't tell. Are you guys angry or hungry?") or the fact that Shirley calls the white people in the group "those people" when she's alone with Troy.
I loved this episode. ****1/2.
Family Guy "Grimm Job"
Do you know what Family Guy does best during its period episodes? Make me SO glad I live in the 21st Century. People used to actually have sex before the invention of toilet paper. Can you imagine? Just the idea makes me shudder in revulsion.
I also want to give a shout-out to the episode pointing out the NUMEROUS faults with the Red Riding Hood fable. A LOT of fairy tales are hard to buy, but Stewie saying he wasn't even going to BOTHER to play along with something as ridiculous as a wolf dressed in human clothes was spot-on. I feel like Family Guy has done SO many movie and TV parodies where they've nitpicked story inconsistancies and plot holes (see all three Star Wars specials) but I now realize that classic stories are REALLY ripe for this treatment, especially since they've never really gotten ANY pushback before this. In previous Red Riding Hood parodies we just ACCEPTED the Wolf dressing as a grandmother at face value. What Family Guy did here is show us we didn't really have to do that. Just because a story is classic, doesn't mean it is impervious to criticism, and Red Riding Hood is a particularly clumsily written and hard to believe tale. Good for this show.
Not bad, not bad at all. ****.
American Dad "Familyland"
Once Disney decided NOT to sue that horror film set in one of their parks I KNEW the knifes would come out from other sources of satire. Disney used to be the second most litigious industry after Scientology. I guess they finally realized that any attention a lawsuit would bring, would bring UNWANTED attention, and would simply get the controversial satire in question more eyeballs. I think Seth MacFarlane smelled weakness from Disney, and blood in the water, and went in for the kill. Good for him.
Honestly, had this been made ten years ago I would have expected him to get sued by Disney. The references were SO thinly vieled that there is no legal wrangling to argue what they were trying to say. But Disney is right not to pursue stuff like this. The episode wasn't THAT great, and will probably be forgotten in a couple of years, which is something that would NOT happen if Disney decided to sue.
Best joke was the princess giving the young girl some REALLY ugly advice. I love Disney Prinesses, but sometimes I feel that effed up message is implicit in all of Disney's Fairytales. Yeah, it's sexual and gross. But pretty much every Disney Princess stops with the first guy she meets, and I always feel like she tends to go out of her way for most of the princes, who almost universally don't deserve it. Don't tell me Ariel wouldn't do ANYTHING to please Eric. Because she totally would.
Interesting episode that I suspect will be forgotten in a few years. Which will be just the way Disney will like it. ***1/2.
Dads "Mister Edna"
A particularly obnoxious outing. Seth MacFarlane compares Dads' racial humor to All In The Family but the difference there is that we were laughing AT Archie, not with him. Dads seems to think having an ugly stereotype like Edna as a character is a funny thing in and of itself and the laugh track agrees. Dads is wrong.
Poor Giovanni Ribisi. If his career recovers from this show it will be a miracle.
Peter Riegert was the only worthwhile thing about the episode. I snarked about it in an earlier review, but he really HAS become better in the role than he was at the beginning of the series.
But this episode still sucked. 1/2.
Dads "Eli Nightengale"
I am SO over Seth Green. I can't believe this tool used to play the cool cucumber Oz from Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I was never a fan of Chris Griffin back when Family Guy first started, but I rationalized Green's portrayal by saying he was totally different from Oz, and he was simply stretching his talents. Then Robot Chicken came along, and even though I hated the show with a white hot passion, I kind of chalked it up to an actor simply not being a very good creative type behind the camera (which is totally not unheard of). But because of Dads, I have to say, Oz was an abberation for this d-bag. He literally now makes my skin crawl.
This is how bad Dads is. It makes me see faults with actors I previously had no (or in Green's case few) problems with. I expect to be completely fed up with the beloved Martin Mull soon enough (and Crawford IS super annoying) but I can't deny that it sort of surprised me how much I've come to loathe Seth Green, so quickly. This is your fault, Dads. You did this. 0.
Parks And Recreation "Second Chunce"
I'm glad everybody got through to Leslie that she had pretty much done all she could for Pawnee as Councilwoman and to aim for a higher office to enact real change. She is too good for this town. All that said, I'm glad it was Ingrid who won. It stung less that somebody horrible didn't get Leslie's seat.
Jean Ralphio's dad REALLY hates his kids. I don't blame him one bit.
The opening with April and Andy was classic. They are so great together.
Leslie should run for higher office and they should make Jamm her opponent. And she should crush him. Frankly, I think Jamm's seat was the one she should have been targeting rather than the perv from the boonies. But I don't write the show.
Good episode although it didn't exactly scream 100th Episode Milestone. ****.
Parks And Recreation "New Beginnings"
This episode showed Leslie at her worst. Ron is SUCH a good calming influence on her. He even went above and beyond by admitting her office made government work but she went WAY too far in presenting him with that "Government Employee Of The Month" plaque. His reaction to that was hilarious.
I love how Tom has grown and used his ability to shmooze for good instead of evil.
I found Ann and Chris' behavior at the jewelry store infuriating rather than funny. That's probably because I have a lot of sympathy for people in the retail industry but it was appalling.
I love how much Ben did NOT appreciate that prank. That is SO in character that not only would he fall for it so hard, but that BECAUSE he fell for it so hard he didn't find it funny. His revenge prank idea was crazy but April was right that the exploding squibs were good enough.
A mixed bag character-wise but I like the episode anyways. ***1/2.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine "Pontiac Bandit"
It could be argued by someone more cynical than me that making Craig Robinson the Pontiac Bandit was WAY too predictable, and as easy to guess as an episode of Law and Order with a famous guest star. But honestly? I would have been disappointed if he WASN'T the Pontiac Bandit. Him genuinely bonding with Peralta and then betraying him was priceless, and they couldn't have done that if the Bandit was some random Asian guy.
Sometimes when something is predictable, it doesn't mean it was bad. It just means that it met your expectations. I can hardly complain about that. ****.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine "The Bet"
Parts of this episode were good but parts I was disappointed in. At first I REALLY loved the idea that Peralta wasn't trying to use his date with Santiago as a way "in" with her and was simply trying to make her miserable, but the episode kind of bought it back once Boyles pointed out how much money Peralta was spending on a prank for someone he obviously likes. I dunno, if something HAPPENS between Jake and Amy I kind of want to see it down the road. I would rather see him giving her the business now as that is more in character.
But Boyles was the episode's MVP. Aside from completely charming Merrin Dungey, he AGAIN impressed Rosa with his honesty. She was expecting his truthtelling to her to be completely lame and instead it was REALLY kind of awesome. And yes, he firmly tells her, she WILL eventually go out him. That is SO cool.
A mixed bag. By the way? The series deserved the Golden Globe for Best Comedy but Andy Samberg did NOT for Best Actor. Give him a few seasons to grow, guys. Peralta isn't Awards Show material yet. ***.
Dracula "Come To Die"
Do you know what irks me? We never really see Dracula killing an innocent. All of the people he's offed so far have pretty much been scumbags and done some pretty evil things in the name of taking down vampires. Are the writers expecting me to think of Dracula as a hero? Because I don't and I don't think the character should be portrayed that way. I'll say this: before tonight's episode this show was Dracula In Name Only and the mythology aspects of the famous novel were usually only tangentially touched upon and in many cases (such as Van Helsing) completely changed. This is the first episode where Dracula / Vlad the Impaler actually casts a shadow.
Is it SUPER wrong of me to be bored with Harker sleeping with Lucy? Men back in the 19th Century were pretty much ALL scumbags and if the episode is asking me to see Harker's affair by modern standards, I have a bit of a hard time with it. As a modern audience member I'm appalled, but I'm also very aware that faithful and doting husbands back then were rare. It's another example of the series expecting me to view the behavior through a modern lens. Sometimes this tack is succssful (such as rooting for Lucy after Mina homophobically betrays her), sometimes not (Dracula pretending to be enlightened about gay rights). This was somehwhere in the middle. I have the reserved the right to change my opinion favorably or negatively based on what happens next week.
This was easily the goriest episode the series has ever done. Usually we get one REALLY nasty set piece per episode. We got three tonight including a particularly bloody one at the end.
I think the best thing about this show is the portrayal of Renfeld. I haven't read the book but this is the first interpretation I've seen of Renfeld as competent. He is SO competent in fact, and SO looking out for Dracula's best interests, that he is pretty much indespensible. You can tell that even though Grayson is a bit annoyed with his constant inpertinence (another first for the character) that he realizes that he is pretty much the ONLY person looking out for him, and is willing to stand up to Drac when he needs him to and at great personal risk. Commander Riker sometimes didn't let Picard go on away missions for his own safety. But he NEVER had to worry about Picard throwing him across a room or ripping his throat out. Renfeld's brand of loyalty is pretty rare, especially because it is shown that for the first time, he hasn't really been mesmorized by Dracula into working for him. He does it because he WANTS to and appreciates the opportunity. That is all kinds of awesome.
A lot of stuff happened this week but I can't really tell if all of it was good or bad. I'll have to see the end of the season to make a definitive judgment on the episode. ***.
American Horror Story: Coven "The Magical Delights Of Stevie Nicks"
The Coven is falling apart. Any hopes that the truce between Marie and Fiona would temper Fiona's evil streak were dashed tonight. Now she's bringing Marie down with her.
I love that Nan was convinced she was on the side of good when she almost made Madison put a lit cigarette in her vagina and she killed Luke's mom. I REALLY like that this show says that people with disabilities have the capability to be as horrible as "normal" people. Which makes them normal themselves.
Misty isn't dead. She already said she had a contingency plan. Madison is MUCH stupider than she thinks she is.
The Coven may have crippled the Witch Hunters but it is falling apart at the seams. I can't wait to see what happens next. ****.
American Horror Story: Coven "Protect The Coven"
The Coven is doomed. I think it is admirable the sacrifices Delia and Myrtle have made to protect the Coven, but I think they are too late. Madison has turned into Fiona Junior and Fiona has totally corrupted whatever righteousness Madame LeVeaux had left (which we learned last week turned out to be not so much). The best the series can hope for as far as a happy ending is concerned is Zoe and Kyle disappearing forever. But since it happened in THIS episode, I know that isn't their fate, so I'm guessing something MUCH worse is going to happen to them.
I did NOT expect to see Queenie back, but I realized that she probably had a better measure of Delia than I first gave her credit for. Granted, I still think she's an idiot. But now I can see her point of view as to why she betrayed the Coven. It was falling apart and Delia wasn't able to stop it. It was no wonder she tried to find safer refuge.
I loved how unrepentent that last guy standing from the Corporation was. He had a chance to go out with some dignity but wouldn't give Fiona the satisfaction. That's neat.
Spaulding is a creep. The Benadryl gag had me laughing though. Glad they aren't going to redeem Delphine after all. I hate that character.
Unlike Murder House and Asylum I do NOT see an uplifting ending for this show coming. It IS a black comedy but pretty much everybody ends up dead at the ends of those. Good episode though. ****.
Upcoming reviews include Futurama: Volume 8, The Simpsons: Season 16, The Wolverine: Extended Edition, Iron Man & Hulk: Heroes United, Monsters University (Blu-Ray), Planes (Blu-Ray), The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, Much Ado About Nothing, and Power Rangers Zeo: Volume 1.
The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug
That was... long. Too long. WAY too long. Considering the relatively brief period of the book the movie covered, it could have easily been an hour less. I think the problem was the Smaug climax. It would have been better if it had been half the length, or if they REALLY wanted to punch it up, a third of the length. The cliffhanger didn't help matters. This is the first Jackson Tolkien film that doesn't feel like it ended at a good stopping point. The end seems rather arbitrary and random. It sort of reminded me a bit of the last scene in Ralph Bakshi's Lord of the Rings to be honest. At least in this case however we know more is actually coming.
I DID like all of the stuff that wasn't covered in the book. Like Gandalf's unseen adventure with Radagast (complete with an appearance by Sauron proper!) and the stuff with Tauriel and Kili. But I think that the parts of the movie that were direct adaptations of stuff in the book went on for too long. I never thought I'd get bored of the scene with Dwarves in barrels, but I did.
I also wish the movie featured Bilbo more heavily. His confrontation with Smaug should have been the climax rather than Smaug versus all the Dwarves. I dunno, unlike the last movie and Riddles in the Dark, I don't feel like Bilbo got a real character scene for himself. And considering that he will probably be largely absent during the last half of the last movie (he was rendered unconscious before the poop REALLY hit the fan) that is a crying shame.
The Battle of Five Armies better be worth it. ***.
Teen Titans Go! "Nose Mouth"
This series has completely gone off the rails and lost me. I am no longer a fan. I am sorry the show ever came back. Do you know why? Teen Titans was never a GREAT show but I still had some fond memories of it that this series is completely trashing. I am beyond disgusted. 0.
Teen Titans Go! "Legs"
My stomach turned at how this episode objectified Raven. Yes, she was kind of sexy on the old show, but in the "she doesn't even realize how beautiful she is" way. The producers never went out of their way to use her for fanservice. Frankly, I'm a bit appalled.
Also, must I point out that these kids are in their early teens? Sexualizing young kids is ALL kinds of ick even for a cartoony cartoon.
You fail at life, Teen Titans Go. 0.
Arrow "Blast Radius"
I don't feel like we EARNED Laurel being smart enough to see through Blood's lies. Because he was SO convincing and had answers for everything. I kind of wondered why she would keep digging after that and I KNOW the character is bad news.
Oliver SO has the hots for Felicity. It's probably best if he keeps that to himself but he's GOT to get over her wanting to date Barry. Now.
I cannot tell what annoys me more: the fact that Oliver was reckless enough to not remember to warn Moira, Thea, and Roy to stay away from the rally, or the fact that those three are so stupid that they have to be told that in the first place.
I want more Slade in the present. Dyin' for it, actually.
Evil Simon! No sales tax for you, Nice lady!
Fun episode. More Slade, please. ****.
Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. "Seeds"
Bored with the stuff at the Academy (REALLY bored) but I loved, loved, LOVED the stuff between Coulson and Skye. I do not feel as let down by Skye's secret as I sort of did Coulson's, and what I most appreciated about it is that it got Coulson to look at what haapened to him in an entirely different way. Skye could have used learning the truth about her parents as an excuse to be mad at the world, but instead she took comfort in the idea that SHIELD was her family all along. I could tell that that had never even OCCURED to Coulson to be an appropriate response to such downer news, and you could tell he was now looking at his own situation through new eyes.
Honestly, the episode wasn't any great shakes otherwise, but because of the stuff with Coulson and Skye, I'm glad I saw it anyways. ****.
Mickey Mouse "Flipperboobootosis"
Sort of funny, but not one of the better outings. I liked the sore traveling between Donald, Mickey, and Goofy though. I don't even WANT to think about how the logistics of that would work. ***.
Mickey Mouse "Tapped Out"
I do NOT need to see Pegleg Pete with pointy nipples, flabby breasts, and body hair. I get that this cartoon seems to be modeling things on Ren and Stimpy a bit but I think that's taking it too far. The rest of the episode was all right though. Goofy volunteering Mickey for the fight (twice!) was hilarious. But the cartoon seriously pushes the boundaries of good taste at times. ***.
Revolution "The Three Amigos"
The thing I want to comment on in this otherwise forgettable episode was that I thought Monroe's tack with his son was MUCH more interesting than what Gold did with Baelfire on Once Upon A Time. He appealed to his son's future instead of his past and also demonstrated how much they had in common. It's a pity it looks like that tactic will turn out to be a disaster.
I had the same reaction Monroe did to Rachel's "bloodline" comment. She is directly responsible for a thousand times the deaths Monroe is. The Matheson family tree is hardly bloodless.
I didn't much like this episode. **1/2.
Revolution "Mis Dos Padres"
Line of the night goes to Miles' appraisal of Monroe right before the act break: "You're a d*ck." And how!
I don't know HOW Monroe can possibly think he can restart the Monroe Republic with Miles alive. Does he just think Miles is gonna step back and let him? Frankly, this plan seems extra squirrely, even for Bass.
Neville and Sarah's dance was getting ridiculous and I don't blame Jason for becoming fed up. Anything that happens to him is their fault. He HAD to do something. That they wouldn't was remarkabley poor judgment on their part.
I think I realize now why the A.I. let Cynthia die: for the same reason it drove Priscilla so insane that her husband left: it wants its Mommy and Daddy to get back together. Cynthia was ALWAYS gonna die. It just happened before the A.I. had a chance to do it itself. It is the kid that wants its estranged parents reunited. It's Hayley Mills in The Parent Trap. Do you know the messed up thing? It just might get what it wants.
We'll see how the plague goes next week before I judge it.
Good episode. ****.
Almost Human "You Are Here"
I was right last week. Kennix DOES like Dorian. A lot. Heh.
This was a pretty good episode although I don't have much else to say about it besides that. ****.
Sleepy Hollow "Vessel"
Most shows would have taken last episode's creepy scene of Irving in the park with his daughter and simply let the audience stew with its implications for awhile and not solved it for a couple of seasons, or in some cases, ever. Most shows are not Sleepy Hollow.
This show does SO much, is SO epic, and in such a short space of time (even for a show with Bad Robot producers) that we have basically been given three seasons worth of a different show's mythology in 11 episodes. And there are still two episodes to go. I seriously think this show could be the next Lost rather than the next Fringe. It is totally possible.
The only show I can think of that gives out more epicness at once is Doctor Who and even that show is notoriously stingy about actually answering questions. I am seriously impressed. ****1/2.
Grimm "Eyes Of The Beholder"
Super weak episode. I wasn't expecting much based on NBC's racist promos (Only thing worse than a Wesen is a black Wesen!) and the episode delivered mediocrity.
Honestly, I'm beyond fed up with Juliet. It's nice they she managed to get her licks in at the end, but telling her friend that Nick was a Grimm without preparing her for it is how people die. It is like casually outing a Jewish person in WWII Poland. I'm not saying Nick is a Nazi, but from her friends perspective? Nick is JUST as dangerous. That's not something you just blurt out.
Ironically the stuff with Hank, although annoying, was much less annoying than NBC's promos suggested. You wouldn't have guessed from the promos that the Wesen were different ethnicities. The episode was pretty color-blind actually. NBC was trying to push racial buttons and did Grimm no favors. If this were a better episode I'd be steamed about it, actually.
Bad night for Grimm. *1/2.
The Simpsons "Married To The Blob"
Terrific episode. One of the major things Futurama has always had over The Simpsons is the fact that their "geek" pop culture stuff has always been fresher. The Simpsons seems to be stuck on Stan Lee comics from the 70's and Star Trek movies from the 80's (heck Lee even guest starred tonight!). This episode was geeky enough for modern audiences. I love the idea of an alternate last episode for Lost that also answers all of the questions from Twin Peaks. That is NOT a joke the show would have made ten seasons ago. It seems MUCH savvier now when it comes to the nerd stuff.
Harlan Ellison's appearance was hilarious but the producers shouldn't be surprised if he winds up suing them too.
Marrying off Comic Book Guy was a great idea. And it doesn't even have to change the character all that much. His lucklessness with women was always the most cliched thing about the character and I think him having someone to bounce nerd stuff off of could help him.
I'm just gonna say it: they should have hired an actual Japanese American actress instead of Tress MacNielle. Doing stuff like that is how they wound up in such trouble with Apu. Now there are a TON more Japanese characters currently on TV than there are Indians, but I'm just saying it COULD become a problem in the future.
Loved the Mr. Sparkle running joke. Because they kind of HAD to have it, you know? You wonder why it never came up in 30 Minutes Over Tokyo.
Pretty great episode. ****1/2.
Bob's Burgers "Presto Tina-O"
I was getting as fed up with Jimmy Junior as Tina was. I'm starting to wonder what she ever saw in him in the first place. He is SUCH a loser.
She shouldn't have come to his rescue at the end. He needed to learn a lesson and he didn't really get it.
The stuff with Bob and the magicians was MUCH more successful and I loved Louise trying to pick Andy's pocket while Ollie felt it. REALLY twisted stuff.
Still, I'm annoyed. **1/2.
Community "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"
So-so. I think the Law and Order episode was WAY better than this although this was admittedly a better crime than a murdered yam. But I didn't feel like Starburns' return was earned. Still, I was SO happy to see Duncan again. I still think he's the culprit and that he got got by a copycat.
Pierce's death: I'm glad they gave the character a definitive ending but I kind of hope they cleared it with Chevy Chase first. The guy WAS gracious enough to film a goodbye scene in the premiere and I hope they didn't just off him out of spite.
I am VERY nervous that they haven't even HINTED Troy is leaving. He better appear in the finale.
All right. ***.
Community "Cooperative Polygraphy"
Possibly the best episode title since "Modern Warfare".
How awesome is Dan Harmon? He manages to gives us one last great Pierce character piece AFTER they've killed the character off. That is REALLY cool. And I was even happier at the reason Troy is going to be absent for the rest of the season. It makes sense and also means that Donald Glover can come back full-time next season if he chooses to. I love how they tied both things together like that.
Some of those secrets were really funny like the idea of Abed planting tracking chips in everybody ("I can't tell. Are you guys angry or hungry?") or the fact that Shirley calls the white people in the group "those people" when she's alone with Troy.
I loved this episode. ****1/2.
Family Guy "Grimm Job"
Do you know what Family Guy does best during its period episodes? Make me SO glad I live in the 21st Century. People used to actually have sex before the invention of toilet paper. Can you imagine? Just the idea makes me shudder in revulsion.
I also want to give a shout-out to the episode pointing out the NUMEROUS faults with the Red Riding Hood fable. A LOT of fairy tales are hard to buy, but Stewie saying he wasn't even going to BOTHER to play along with something as ridiculous as a wolf dressed in human clothes was spot-on. I feel like Family Guy has done SO many movie and TV parodies where they've nitpicked story inconsistancies and plot holes (see all three Star Wars specials) but I now realize that classic stories are REALLY ripe for this treatment, especially since they've never really gotten ANY pushback before this. In previous Red Riding Hood parodies we just ACCEPTED the Wolf dressing as a grandmother at face value. What Family Guy did here is show us we didn't really have to do that. Just because a story is classic, doesn't mean it is impervious to criticism, and Red Riding Hood is a particularly clumsily written and hard to believe tale. Good for this show.
Not bad, not bad at all. ****.
American Dad "Familyland"
Once Disney decided NOT to sue that horror film set in one of their parks I KNEW the knifes would come out from other sources of satire. Disney used to be the second most litigious industry after Scientology. I guess they finally realized that any attention a lawsuit would bring, would bring UNWANTED attention, and would simply get the controversial satire in question more eyeballs. I think Seth MacFarlane smelled weakness from Disney, and blood in the water, and went in for the kill. Good for him.
Honestly, had this been made ten years ago I would have expected him to get sued by Disney. The references were SO thinly vieled that there is no legal wrangling to argue what they were trying to say. But Disney is right not to pursue stuff like this. The episode wasn't THAT great, and will probably be forgotten in a couple of years, which is something that would NOT happen if Disney decided to sue.
Best joke was the princess giving the young girl some REALLY ugly advice. I love Disney Prinesses, but sometimes I feel that effed up message is implicit in all of Disney's Fairytales. Yeah, it's sexual and gross. But pretty much every Disney Princess stops with the first guy she meets, and I always feel like she tends to go out of her way for most of the princes, who almost universally don't deserve it. Don't tell me Ariel wouldn't do ANYTHING to please Eric. Because she totally would.
Interesting episode that I suspect will be forgotten in a few years. Which will be just the way Disney will like it. ***1/2.
Dads "Mister Edna"
A particularly obnoxious outing. Seth MacFarlane compares Dads' racial humor to All In The Family but the difference there is that we were laughing AT Archie, not with him. Dads seems to think having an ugly stereotype like Edna as a character is a funny thing in and of itself and the laugh track agrees. Dads is wrong.
Poor Giovanni Ribisi. If his career recovers from this show it will be a miracle.
Peter Riegert was the only worthwhile thing about the episode. I snarked about it in an earlier review, but he really HAS become better in the role than he was at the beginning of the series.
But this episode still sucked. 1/2.
Dads "Eli Nightengale"
I am SO over Seth Green. I can't believe this tool used to play the cool cucumber Oz from Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I was never a fan of Chris Griffin back when Family Guy first started, but I rationalized Green's portrayal by saying he was totally different from Oz, and he was simply stretching his talents. Then Robot Chicken came along, and even though I hated the show with a white hot passion, I kind of chalked it up to an actor simply not being a very good creative type behind the camera (which is totally not unheard of). But because of Dads, I have to say, Oz was an abberation for this d-bag. He literally now makes my skin crawl.
This is how bad Dads is. It makes me see faults with actors I previously had no (or in Green's case few) problems with. I expect to be completely fed up with the beloved Martin Mull soon enough (and Crawford IS super annoying) but I can't deny that it sort of surprised me how much I've come to loathe Seth Green, so quickly. This is your fault, Dads. You did this. 0.
Parks And Recreation "Second Chunce"
I'm glad everybody got through to Leslie that she had pretty much done all she could for Pawnee as Councilwoman and to aim for a higher office to enact real change. She is too good for this town. All that said, I'm glad it was Ingrid who won. It stung less that somebody horrible didn't get Leslie's seat.
Jean Ralphio's dad REALLY hates his kids. I don't blame him one bit.
The opening with April and Andy was classic. They are so great together.
Leslie should run for higher office and they should make Jamm her opponent. And she should crush him. Frankly, I think Jamm's seat was the one she should have been targeting rather than the perv from the boonies. But I don't write the show.
Good episode although it didn't exactly scream 100th Episode Milestone. ****.
Parks And Recreation "New Beginnings"
This episode showed Leslie at her worst. Ron is SUCH a good calming influence on her. He even went above and beyond by admitting her office made government work but she went WAY too far in presenting him with that "Government Employee Of The Month" plaque. His reaction to that was hilarious.
I love how Tom has grown and used his ability to shmooze for good instead of evil.
I found Ann and Chris' behavior at the jewelry store infuriating rather than funny. That's probably because I have a lot of sympathy for people in the retail industry but it was appalling.
I love how much Ben did NOT appreciate that prank. That is SO in character that not only would he fall for it so hard, but that BECAUSE he fell for it so hard he didn't find it funny. His revenge prank idea was crazy but April was right that the exploding squibs were good enough.
A mixed bag character-wise but I like the episode anyways. ***1/2.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine "Pontiac Bandit"
It could be argued by someone more cynical than me that making Craig Robinson the Pontiac Bandit was WAY too predictable, and as easy to guess as an episode of Law and Order with a famous guest star. But honestly? I would have been disappointed if he WASN'T the Pontiac Bandit. Him genuinely bonding with Peralta and then betraying him was priceless, and they couldn't have done that if the Bandit was some random Asian guy.
Sometimes when something is predictable, it doesn't mean it was bad. It just means that it met your expectations. I can hardly complain about that. ****.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine "The Bet"
Parts of this episode were good but parts I was disappointed in. At first I REALLY loved the idea that Peralta wasn't trying to use his date with Santiago as a way "in" with her and was simply trying to make her miserable, but the episode kind of bought it back once Boyles pointed out how much money Peralta was spending on a prank for someone he obviously likes. I dunno, if something HAPPENS between Jake and Amy I kind of want to see it down the road. I would rather see him giving her the business now as that is more in character.
But Boyles was the episode's MVP. Aside from completely charming Merrin Dungey, he AGAIN impressed Rosa with his honesty. She was expecting his truthtelling to her to be completely lame and instead it was REALLY kind of awesome. And yes, he firmly tells her, she WILL eventually go out him. That is SO cool.
A mixed bag. By the way? The series deserved the Golden Globe for Best Comedy but Andy Samberg did NOT for Best Actor. Give him a few seasons to grow, guys. Peralta isn't Awards Show material yet. ***.
Dracula "Come To Die"
Do you know what irks me? We never really see Dracula killing an innocent. All of the people he's offed so far have pretty much been scumbags and done some pretty evil things in the name of taking down vampires. Are the writers expecting me to think of Dracula as a hero? Because I don't and I don't think the character should be portrayed that way. I'll say this: before tonight's episode this show was Dracula In Name Only and the mythology aspects of the famous novel were usually only tangentially touched upon and in many cases (such as Van Helsing) completely changed. This is the first episode where Dracula / Vlad the Impaler actually casts a shadow.
Is it SUPER wrong of me to be bored with Harker sleeping with Lucy? Men back in the 19th Century were pretty much ALL scumbags and if the episode is asking me to see Harker's affair by modern standards, I have a bit of a hard time with it. As a modern audience member I'm appalled, but I'm also very aware that faithful and doting husbands back then were rare. It's another example of the series expecting me to view the behavior through a modern lens. Sometimes this tack is succssful (such as rooting for Lucy after Mina homophobically betrays her), sometimes not (Dracula pretending to be enlightened about gay rights). This was somehwhere in the middle. I have the reserved the right to change my opinion favorably or negatively based on what happens next week.
This was easily the goriest episode the series has ever done. Usually we get one REALLY nasty set piece per episode. We got three tonight including a particularly bloody one at the end.
I think the best thing about this show is the portrayal of Renfeld. I haven't read the book but this is the first interpretation I've seen of Renfeld as competent. He is SO competent in fact, and SO looking out for Dracula's best interests, that he is pretty much indespensible. You can tell that even though Grayson is a bit annoyed with his constant inpertinence (another first for the character) that he realizes that he is pretty much the ONLY person looking out for him, and is willing to stand up to Drac when he needs him to and at great personal risk. Commander Riker sometimes didn't let Picard go on away missions for his own safety. But he NEVER had to worry about Picard throwing him across a room or ripping his throat out. Renfeld's brand of loyalty is pretty rare, especially because it is shown that for the first time, he hasn't really been mesmorized by Dracula into working for him. He does it because he WANTS to and appreciates the opportunity. That is all kinds of awesome.
A lot of stuff happened this week but I can't really tell if all of it was good or bad. I'll have to see the end of the season to make a definitive judgment on the episode. ***.
American Horror Story: Coven "The Magical Delights Of Stevie Nicks"
The Coven is falling apart. Any hopes that the truce between Marie and Fiona would temper Fiona's evil streak were dashed tonight. Now she's bringing Marie down with her.
I love that Nan was convinced she was on the side of good when she almost made Madison put a lit cigarette in her vagina and she killed Luke's mom. I REALLY like that this show says that people with disabilities have the capability to be as horrible as "normal" people. Which makes them normal themselves.
Misty isn't dead. She already said she had a contingency plan. Madison is MUCH stupider than she thinks she is.
The Coven may have crippled the Witch Hunters but it is falling apart at the seams. I can't wait to see what happens next. ****.
American Horror Story: Coven "Protect The Coven"
The Coven is doomed. I think it is admirable the sacrifices Delia and Myrtle have made to protect the Coven, but I think they are too late. Madison has turned into Fiona Junior and Fiona has totally corrupted whatever righteousness Madame LeVeaux had left (which we learned last week turned out to be not so much). The best the series can hope for as far as a happy ending is concerned is Zoe and Kyle disappearing forever. But since it happened in THIS episode, I know that isn't their fate, so I'm guessing something MUCH worse is going to happen to them.
I did NOT expect to see Queenie back, but I realized that she probably had a better measure of Delia than I first gave her credit for. Granted, I still think she's an idiot. But now I can see her point of view as to why she betrayed the Coven. It was falling apart and Delia wasn't able to stop it. It was no wonder she tried to find safer refuge.
I loved how unrepentent that last guy standing from the Corporation was. He had a chance to go out with some dignity but wouldn't give Fiona the satisfaction. That's neat.
Spaulding is a creep. The Benadryl gag had me laughing though. Glad they aren't going to redeem Delphine after all. I hate that character.
Unlike Murder House and Asylum I do NOT see an uplifting ending for this show coming. It IS a black comedy but pretty much everybody ends up dead at the ends of those. Good episode though. ****.