Star Trek: Enterprise: Season 3 and The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Reviews (Spoilers)
Also reviews for the latest episodes of Green Lantern: The Animated Series, Young Justice: Invasion, DC Nation Shorts, Arrow, Once Upon A Time, the series finale of Fringe, MAD, TRON: Uprising, The Simpsons, Bob's Burgers, The Cleveland Show, Family Guy, American Dad, the season finale of Haven, 30 Rock, Parks And Recreation, The Office, the first three episodes of 1600 Penn, The premiere of The Following, and American Horror Story Asylum.
Upcoming reviews include Star Trek: Enterprise: Season 4, Star Trek: The Animated Series: The Complete Series, Red Dwarf X, Frankenweenie, Young Justice: Invasion: Destiny Calling, The Charlie Brown And Snoopy Show: The Complete Series, The Spectacular Spider-Man: Volume 5, The Spectacular Spider-Man: Volume 6, The Spectacular Spider-Man: Volume 7, The Spectacular Spider-Man: Volume 8, The Adventures Of Young Indiana Jones: Volume 2: The War Years, The Adventures Of Young Indiana Jones: Volume 3: The Years Of Change, and Heathcliff: Season 1: Volume 1.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
I knew going in the tone would be very different from Lord of the Rings so I am truly confused what the critics of the movie are complaining about. No, it's not as epic as Lord of the Rings. But it's not meant to be. Frankly I think it WAS actually more epic than the source material deserved (quite a bit of padding going on) so I don't get what the complaints are.
It's also very funny, especially considering how serious the Lord of the Rings movies were by comparison. Martin Freeman make a GREAT Bilbo Baggins and I think Richard Armitage was an inspired choice to play a surprisingly hunky Thorin Oakenshield. I also loved seeing Sylvester McCoy (The Seventh Doctor) playing Radagast the Brown who wasn't in the actual book (although he was described by Tolkien in either The Silmarillion or the Return of the King appendices; I forget which).
I also loved all of the cameos for actors from the original trilogy. Besides Ian McKellan and Andy Serkis we got roles for Ian Holm, Cate Blanchett, Christopher Lee, Elijah Wood, and Hugo Weaving. And none of those characters besides Elrond were in the actual book!
There is a major flaw in the movie and it's a big one: it doesn't do the Riddling Contest between Bilbo and Gollum justice. That was the awesomest part of the book and frankly the awesomeness thing J.R.R. Tolkien ever wrote. Without a narrater to describe both the rules of riddling and what was going on in Bilbo's head it feels like something is missing. Having Bilbo figure out the "Time" riddle was also a disappointment because in the book he answers it correctly purely by accident and the narrater seems as delighted by that fact as the reader is. We needed some Ian Holm narration for this.
Other than that I had a blast. No, it's not as good as either Fellowship of the Rings or Return Of The King. But I think it is about the same quality as The Two Towers and in some respects better (there was some boredom for me in Two Towers that was absent here). I also think adding stuff from the appendices from Return of the King padded the movie a bit. But the movie was still really great. It boggles my mind that it didn't get an Oscar nomination. Awesome movie. ****1/2.
DC Nation
Green Lantern: The Animated Series "Prisoner Of Sinestro"
Love that they're taking the tack of keeping Sinestro a GL for now. It seems like Sinestro seems to go bad in every single one of his first appearances except for Green Lantern: The Movie and Green Lantern: Emerald Knights. I want to see what CAUSES him to become a bad guy for once.
They are really exploring the Aya / Razer ship pretty hard. I expect them to be on and off until the season finale.
Pretty great episode. ****1/2.
Young Justice: Invasion "True Colors"
Loved it and I think this was the best episode of Invasion so far (I thought the one where Aqualad "killed" Artemis but was actually revealed to be a double-agent was overrated).
Look! It's Ben 10!
My one minor complaint was that there were too many "Xanatos Gambits" where the villains were predicting every move the heroes would make. It's starts to become annoying after awhile. My one MAJOR complaint is that Gorden Godfrey is beyond annoying. Who voices him anyways? Because he's over-the-top awful.
Deathstroke! I didn't expect to see him this season. Loved the scene between Sportsmaster and the Light too.
Speaking of Deathstroke, why can this show call him that but Teen Titans had to settle for Slade?
Great episode. I'm rooting for Jaime. ****1/2.
"Amethyst, Princess Of Gemworld: Level 3: Random Encounter"
That tree reminded me of Wispy Woods from Kirby's Adventure. And those flowers begging to be eaten were very creepy. The creature from the bottom of the lake reminded me of something from ThunderCats. Very cool cartoon. ****1/2.
Arrow "Burned"
I liked this interpretation of Firefly but I don't think they should have killed him off. The episode was good though.
Man, Dig is RIPPED. He's an even bigger hardbody than Oliver. That reminds me of the fact that Justin Hartley had bigger muscles than Tom Welling on Smallville.
Detective Lance really IS a butthole. Laurel is gonna be P.O.ed when she finds out what he did.
No Merlyn Sr. this week. I hope he shows up again soon.
Very good. ****.
Once Upon A Time "The Outsider"
I am furious with Captain Hook. So much for being "misunderstood". You know, I understand that Rumpelstilskin hurt him badly in a VERY evil way but Rumpel was CURSED by the being the Dark One and I don't hold his pre-Storybrooke actions against him the way I do, say Regina or Cora. Part of the curse is that he couldn't HELP doing evil. What Hook did to Belle is NOT the same thing at all. Especially considering she had JUST saved his life. What happened BETTER be reversible or I will NEVER forgive Hook.
That said Rumpel and Belle WERE stupid to be hugging on the town line. I can think of a dozen things that DIDN'T happen that could have gone wrong with that scenario.
Did NOT expect to see Archie freed so soon. I have to wonder if Regina will accept Emma's apology or not. I'm leaning towards the idea that she will for Henry's sake. But I'm not sure I would be so forgiving in her place.
I noticed one thing different about Rumpelstiltskin this episode: he never lied to Belle even when he probably should have. He promised in an earlier episode to stop lying to her but I NEVER thought he would follow through. True, he didn't answer all of her questions, but I don't even consider them lies of omission because it could be argued that the reason he didn't tell Belle about his wife was because it was too painful, and the reason he didn't promise NOT to kill Hook in the shop is because he refused to lie to her. I am truly shocked by this development and have to give Belle WAY more credit than I did earlier. I previously considered her a Stockholm Syndrone suffering, lovesick fool but I think this episode proved that she HAD changed Gold after all. Unfortunately, that might all be undone after what Hook did to her but I am now of the opinion that Gold CAN be believably redeemed if the writers choose to.
Speaking of being impressed by Belle she punked Captain Hook TWICE. That made him shooting her in the back even MORE despicable and cowardly considering both times she got the best of him she was facing him. She also impressed me in the flashbacks with Mulan. I'm starting to think the writers have taken the internet criticisms of Belle as an anti-feminist character VERY seriously. Because they backtracked that idea completely tonight. Unfortunately it will probably be back to ditzy, annoying Belle next week since her memory is gone. I only pray that the writers don't go the Grimm Juliet route and have her hook up with another character while she has amnesia. I don't think I could take it.
Boy, was I really enjoying this episode until the last 60 seconds. And who was that person who drove into town? I'm glad next week isn't a rerun. ****.
Once Upon A Time "In The Name Of The Brother"
A lot of unlikely things happened this episode that I couldn't quite believe. A lot of plot related stupidity here.
First off, I cannot believe Gold would put the tea cup in that much jeopardy for any reason especially considering his sloppiness on the town line last week. The second Belle started flipping out I expected him to do everything in his power to protect the cup.
Second, Emma's interrogation of the stranger was a complete joke. With all that was at stake she asks a couple of simple questions and then leaves? Boy, it sure would help if she had a superpower to tell if someone was lying to her!
Third is the biggie. I don't believe Regina would forgive her mother for ANY reason, at least not the Regina we've seen portrayed on the show so far. She's had a single-minded hatred for Snow for simply being tangentally involved in Daniel's death. She has rejected every overture for peace made by Snow and her revenge refuses to be sated. I don't buy she would forgive the person who actually DID kill Daniel so easily.
It wasn't all bad. The Frankenstein stuff was interesting, if a bit predictable and I'm intruiged by the notion that Frankenstein isn't in Henry's book (is there a book he IS in?). Unfortunately, the plot holes kept gnawing at me.
One thing I did notice: When Gold threatened to kill everyone if Belle was harmed, I believe he meant it. Now, I don't believe he'd actually go through with it (it's been shown that he can be a softy when someone appeals to his better nature) but in that moment? He would have killed them all without breaking a sweat. That frightens me.
Didn't much like the episode. **.
Fringe "Liberty"
SO great to see Lincoln and Fauxlivia one last time. I would have liked updates on Alt-Astrid and Alt-Charlie too but time was really at a premium in these last two hours.
The end with December was great and a good cliffhanger.
Did I mention how brilliant Olivia's plan was? The thing that was so great about it is that it was using a method that had already been established years ago but that the audience had probably forgotten about at this point. Ditto on Olivia shutting off the lights with her mind in the next episode.
I liked the penultimate episode better than the actual finale. ****1/2.
Fringe "An Enemy Of Fate"
Not gonna lie. A MAJOR disappointment. The episode tried to do too much and the ending was mega-rushed. I was furious they killed off September and because they did that Peter and Olivia being together in the rebooted timeline doesn't make any sense. It could have worked if September had been the paradox instead of Walter but with September now erased from history who interrupted Walternate discovering the cure for Peter? For that matter who saved Peter and Walter at Raiden Lake? They had a PERFECT opportunity to wrap things up in a way that was not only a happy ending, but would have explained a LOT of the plotholes left at the end.
Does Peter not even know who Walter is? Was Walter erased from history or just that point in time? If it's just that point in time why didn't Peter seem to recognize Walter's name on the envelope? And if it's from all of history how could Peter possibly still be in our universe?
"Lost" didn't give us a ton of answers either but the last episode took it's time and gave us great goodbyes for all of the characters. Maybe the producers should have asked Fox for an extra hour or planned around the couple of filler episodes this season better. Either way, the ending was very unsatisfying.
Make no mistake: the ending was merely disappointing and not terrible. It's nowhere near as bad as the finales for either Roseanne or Twin Peaks. But I expected better from Fringe. They should have ended the show last season (minus the mini-cliffhanger) and just not bothered to have made Letters Of Transit.
I am truly bummed about this. **1/2.
MAD "Hip Hop Hobbit / The Monday Project"
The Hobbit spoof was hilarious especially Gandalf and Bilbo's reactions to watching the original movie. I loved that it was in the original Rankin Bass designs.
"Ant Funeral" was great too as was the cartoon where Santa was stuck in the chimney.
The Perks Of Being A Cauliflower was the weak link of the episode. Just because something CAN be a pun, doesn't mean it SHOULD be a pun.
My favorite bit was the Garfield one because it asked two obvious questions. Why DOES Garfield hate Mondays anyways? He's a freaking cat who sits around on his butt all day. Second, what ever DID happen to Lyman? He went up the same staircase as Richie's older brother on Happy Days (or the youngest Winslow daughter on Family Matters) and never came down.
Near perfect episode. If it weren't for the Wallflower spoof it would have gotten five stars. ****1/2.
TRON: Uprising "Rendezvous"
I'm starting to think Paige is a little bit stupid. How the HECK can she possibly believe Pavel's story after what he did to her? The Renegade has been been nothing but helpful to her and she thinks Pavel is still on her side? Ugh.
Only a couple more episodes this season. They better not end on a cliffhanger because I feel like a cancelation is imminent. ***1/2.
The Simpsons "A Test Before Trying"
Has Bart ALWAYS been this big of a little turd before? Because he was seriously starting to annoy me.
I was also annoyed that Marge had Homer throw that change down a well. She could have convinced him to give it to charity. He does what she tells him.
I didn't care much for this episode. **1/2.
Bob's Burgers "Nude Beach"
Is Andre Royo the first celebrity on this show to voice themselves? Why, I believe he is. This show officially has coolness cred.
The episode waa pretty funny too but hardly risque enough to warrant a TV-14 rating or Viewer Discretion card. When you compare it to a Sethverse show there is no contest.
I liked the episode. ***1/2.
The Cleveland Show "Escape From Goochland"
Very funny episode. I love the revelation that Gus is 117 years old. I loved seeing Cleveland dressed up as Papa Smurf, Tim as He-Man, and Federline as Inspector Gadget (complete with working propellor). I also laughed hard at President Harrison's wooden wife having a hole shaped mouth. Nothing changes. Heh.
Excellemt season premiere that I missed when it first aired. *****.
The Cleveland Show "Hustle 'N' Bros"
That line about playing Chinese Checkers with Czechs? Genius.
Pretty good episode. Which is nice because we haven't gotten a good one in a long while. Let's hope this is a trend.
Donna holding Larry the Leopard hostage made me laugh. She's crazy.
Rock Hudson was one cute dog. I really hope we see more of him and Rallo together.
Funny episode. ****.
Family Guy "Brian's Play"
I'll admit it. Brian's actions in this episode were pretty bad but for once I couldn't hold it against him. He described his feelings pretty well in his monologue near the end and I think that was a totally understandable way to feel. Stewie obviously felt so too. Still, Stewie's pointed insult to him about his play's mediocrity was Stewie's best line since his prolonged Olivia beatdown in "From Method To Madness". Excellent.
I thought they were gonna go for a different ending of Quahog hating Stewie's play. I thought the gag would be that the play was TOO good and highbrow that no-one in Quahog would be smart enough to understand it. What they did was better.
Quagmire seemed to enjoy Brian's play. I would have love to cut to a reaction shot of him either cheering for or not giving applause to Brian. I wanted to find out if Quagmire could give him ANYTHING or not. I think the writers owed us that.
Yay, Jasper! Part of the reason I wasn't mad at Brian was that he was just taking Jasper's advice, which I had to admit, despite being complete immoral was probably the right advice to give.
I liked the episode a lot. ****1/2.
American Dad "The Adventures of Twill Ongenbone And His Boy Jabari"
The Stan and Steve "Taxicab Confessions" on the phone bit was gold. Seriously fuuny stuff.
I think the ending to the episode was a little too pat. It seemed more like the ending to a traditional sitcom (Francine being impressed with all of the hard work Roger put into his lies) than something a clever show like this would do.
And I'll just say it: that Cuba Gooding Jr. slam was TOO mean. I hate the guy too, but seeing a nearly empty church at his funeral went FAR beyond any level of an acceptable diss. Seth MacFarlane is SUCH a b******.
The Stan and Steve stuff was excellent. The rest of the episode not so much. ***.
Haven "Reunion"
Having every food you touch turn into cake is both the best and the worst Trouble ever at the exact same time. Loved it.
The episode was pretty good too. The last act really answered a ton of questions even if the rest of the episode was a bit light on the mythology. The showdown between Audrey and Arla at the end more than made up for it.
Dave clocking Vince over the head was hilarious.
A good one. ****.
Haven "Thanks For The Memories"
I cannot believe the huge number of questions they answered. Vince is part of the Guard? What's his Trouble? What about Dave? Speaking of Vince, locking Dave in the trunk of his car was SO funny. Dwight's reaction was priceless too.
Nathan was shot WAAAAYYYY more times than I was comfortable with. I became convinced he WAS going to die. I'm still not convinced he won't. Could this be a situation similar to Micheal Vaughn's fate in the fourth season finale of Alias? Whereas he survives the cliffhanger only to "die" in the next season premiere? We'll see.
Even as a Frankenstein Laura Vandervoort is hot.
I can't see how they are going to get out of this but the series HAS been renewed so we'll find out next fall. That's going to be a LOOOOONNNG way away. *****.
30 Rock "Florida"
SO glad they didn't have something happen between Jack and Liz. I was seriously afraid of that. But we found out he banged Jenna in season three. Gross.
Speaking of gross, Hazel's deposition over the end credits was a riot.
I am VERY surprised to learn that Jack's mom hoping he was happy potentially COULD have been geniune. We'll never know for sure and I'm sure that's what is screwing with Jack so much.
I'm looking forward to seeing how the show ends.
Parks And Recreation "Two Parties"
Chris and Ben are still trying to figure out Jerry and Gale. I love that Jerry seems especially clueless about it. Christie Brinkley is SO totally not his type.
Tom's "expiremental bar" was hilarious. I especially like the liquor that was a lotion and the one that was a flash of bright light. Are those kinds of bars even a thing? Because I wouldn't be surprised if they are. As Ron noted "This is the wrong way to drink liquor."
Great. Now I have a craving for gummy penises.
Jonathan Joss is awesome. That is all that needs to be said.
Hilarious episode. ****1/2.
The Office "Suit Warehouse”
Daryll getting up to excuse himself from the meeting because he felt so underqualified was SO endearing. No wonder they hired him even after he accidentally killed the fish. Speaking of, that was the dumbest move ever.
Clark being Jan’s boytoy was all kinds of ick. I especially liked him describing making love to her like making love to a swarm of bees.
Loved Angela putting a tissue over the group’s hands for the group cheer. That is SO totally OCD.
I’m glad Erin is avoiding Pete. I don’t know what Greg Daniels was thinking, having that “relationship” progress while Andy is out of town. It just make Pete’s actions seem doubly immoral.
Poor Pam. We are getting some idea where the series is headed for the finale now.
Pretty good. ***1/2.
1600 Penn "Putting Out Fires"
I was hooked from the hilarious opening scene, before they even got to any of the White House stuff. Skip is a hilarious character and it's no wonder that they seemed to center the show around him (Josh Gad gets first billing instead of Bill Pullman or Jenna Elfman). My only complaint is that it is going to take a LONG time to see Bill Pullman in anything and not think of him as pedophile murderer Oswald Danes from Torchwood: Miracle Day. I hope I eventually will be able to do it but I haven't yet.
I haven't stopped thinking of Jenna Elfman as Dharma yet either but that's not an unpleasant association.
Great pilot. ****1/2.
1600 Penn "The Skiplantic Ocean"
Like most second episodes, not as good as the Pilot. Still, it was interesting even when there were fewer laughs. I wonder if Dale talking to his war strategists about his family will become a show cliche the way the mean older doctors tricking the younger doctors into being better doctors by being buttholes was on Scrubs was and become REALLY noticable in later years. Let's just say I'm not looking forward to 1600 Penn: Med School. ***1/2.
1600 Penn “So You Don’t Want To Dance?”
I’m sorry, but Stacy Keach is WAAAAYYY too young to believably play someone who has been in the Senate for fifty years. You can dye his hair completely white and put him in a wheelchair but he is STILL as feisty as Papa Titus. Nice try, producers.
Skip is really making me smile with his awkwardness. He is so funny. Loved him asking the mailroom guy for permission to date one of his workers. What a goof.
Good. ****.
The Following "Pilot"
Addictive. The format of the show is great. Like Lost and many Bad Robot productions there are flashbacks. But the scenes are brief and emcompass many different characters. That means there are more of them and that we get a ton of information all at once. If this is the actual format of the show and not just a gimmick of the Pilot this could be the best new show of the season.
I was shocked they killed off Maggie Grace. Because of the flashbacks she can reappear but she was billed as a series regular and went on the press tour promoting the show. This is a trick both Joss Whedon AND the producers of Lost always wanted to do but could never find either the budget for it or a network that would agree to it. It's a great storytelling device.
By the way, I'm predicting at this moment that Shawn Ashmore's character is a member of the cult. There is NO way Carroll could have been as successful as he was last night without a person deep on the inside and the smart money is on Ashmore's character. Seriously, if there isn't at least ONE mole on the team (there could be many) the entire police department and FBI would look extremely incompetent.
Fabulous pilot. The next fourteen weeks look to be quite a ride. *****.
American Horror Story: Asylum "Continuum"
Well, there goes my theory about the Angel of Death being an Angel of Mercy. After torturing Jude that way she is obviously the Devil's sister in spirit too.
I understand why Alma killed Grace. I do. I'm trying to sympathize, but she did it the cruelest, craziest way possible. Did she HAVE to do it in front Kit? And in such a bloody fashion? With the kids in the next room? You know Alma, poisons exist and if you were TRULY trying to protect your family you would have taken Grace on a trip to the country and left her in an unmarked grave. That was just stupid.
I think the biggest disappointment to me was seeing Lana sell out. After last week I became hopeful that she could become a crusader for justice for the mentally ill and tortured at Briarcliff but she totally reverted to the exploitive reporter she was in the first episode. I share Kit's disappointment with her and hope that over the years she's changed. She will need to have changed if she is going to face Bloodyface Jr. next week. She can't do it if she is still as weak as she was this episode.
I want Bloodyface Jr. dead. Now. And I want Lana to be the one to kill him.
After the highs of last week I felt this episode was a major let-down. **1/2.
Star Trek: Enterprise: The Complete Third Season
I’m not going to say Season Three of Enterprise is the first good Enterprise season. True, it isn’t horrible like seasons 1 and 2 are, it has some classic episodes, and builds to an exciting finale. But there are too many weak things about it to say that.
What I WILL say is that this is the very first season of Enterprise to actually FEEL like a Star Trek season. And that’s good enough for me. Would I have rather gotten an excellent season of the quality of the best of Next Generation or Deep Space Nine? Absolutely. Will I turn up my nose at the first Non-DS9 season as good as Season Four of Voyager? No way.
The Xindi arc was definitely a mixed bag. While it was interesting in places it definitely felt as if the show was going a bit off track. I was fine with that because it was a better show than the first two seasons but if we could have had a “regular” season, dealing with the origins of the Star Trek mythos as good as this one, I would have been MUCH happier. I think the only complaints fans had about season four (besides the last episode sucking) was that it was something the show should have been doing since day one.
Worst thing about the season is easily the “Vulcan Neuro-pressure” sessions with Tucker and T’Pol. Enterprise has ALWAYS had an exploitative, “sex sells” attitude about it but this smacks especially of desperation. Even more so than the decontamination scenes in seasons one and two. I’m actually embarrassed for the actors here. Berman and Braga should be ashamed of themselves.
Best episodes of the season are the Vulcan zombie apocalypse (Impulse), TNG’s “Future Imperfect” done right (Twilight), the Western with nightmarish humans (North Star), the one set in present day Detroit (Carpenter Street), the one with the awesome cliffhanger (Azati Prime), and the final three episodes of the season to conclude the Xindi arc (The Council, Countdown, Zero Hour). Worst episodes are the torture apologist’s wet dream (Anomaly), the terrible “Extinction”, the sexist “Rajiin”, the only bad Andorian episode (Proving Ground), the dull “Harbinger”, the duller “Doctor’s Orders”, and the episode that just didn’t sit right with me (Damage). Season Overall: ***. Xindi Arc Overall: ***1/2.
The Xindi: Those MACO's impressed the heck out of me. I love the idea of Starfleet having an elite special forces unit and it was pretty awesome. By the way, Malcolm Reed? Biggest butthole in the universe. I bet he’s tiny “down there”. ***1/2.
Anomaly: I realize Star Trek (especially Enterprise) has gotten more conservative over the years (especially after Manny Coto came aboard) but the idea of a Star Trek series trying to justify torture just rankles me. Gene Roddenberry would have been appalled, less evolved humans or not. **.
Extinction: Terrible episode. This could have come during season 1 or 2. *.
Rajiin: Sexist episode. Nowhere near as bad as Next Generation's The Perfect Mate but for all of Star Trek's progressive bonafides when it comes to race relations, their views on feminism have always left much to be desired. *1/2.
Impulse: How cool is it that we got a Star Trek zombie episode? This was a turning point for the series in my mind and showed that the series could both have fun and be exciting. Nicely done. ****1/2.
Exile: This episode was SO predictable to the point that they might as well not even have made it. It has every Star Trek trope in the book in addition to multiple genre cliches. Sigh. **1/2.
The Shipment: This episode and the next pack a one-two punch about what's at stake. This episode would probably have been better served to air second (considering it was the way the series ultimately chose to go) but I have to say that by airing them in this order, it freaked me quite the bit out. It's like this episode lulls you into a false sense of security only to have it completely demolished one hour later. ****.
Twilight: This shares a similar premise to Next Generation's Future Imperfect. But it blows that beloved but overrated episode out of the water. Why? Because there are actual stakes involved, it ties into the mythology of the show, and even though the reset button is hit at the end, the ending is NOT a cheat. It also gives us a terrifying idea of what the actual Xindi plan is and we realize they won't be satisfied simply destroying Earth. They plan to wipe out every single human in existence. Yikes. Just when we thought there might be a way to make peace last episode, this one makes that dream seem impossible and hopeless. Awesome episode. *****.
North Star: Better than I remembered it. Those humans on that planet were freaking MESSED UP. What really galls me is that they used slavery that happened hundreds of years ago as justification for their bigotry and criminal activities. For the record, people like them in their own time would be the ones fighting FOR the Confederacy, to keep the subjegation of black people as slaves so the irony is extra thick. And like the worst examples of Southerners they keep a grudge for WAAYYY longer than a sane person would. I was just waiting for them to call the Skag invasion “the war of space aggression”. Jebus. ****1/2.
Similitude: I hated this episode when it first aired, but it’s not so bad. I think I had just grouped this with “Tuvix” in my mind of Star Trek Captains doing something completely unethical for the sake of convenience. This is a whole different kettle of fish than Tuvix. There was absolutely no justification for what Janeway did to Tuvix (it was straight-up first degree murder) whereas here the episode went out of its way to make the circumstances ambiguous. I couldn’t root for Tuvix to be seperated when there was absolutely no real reason to do it. But here, Sim was gonna die in a few days anyway. Or was he? Could they have found a cure? If they tried they would have risked failure and lost both Sim AND Trip. And Archer wasn’t going to try the procedure unless Phlox was sure Sim wouldn’t be harmed (that turned out great, huh?). This episode made me think rather than scowl. ***1/2.
Carpenter Street: Another great episode (surrprisingly written by Berman and Braga, the two worst Star Trek writers of all time) that was funny and exciting. I’ve always been a fan of Leland Orser from his roles on Deep Space Nine, Voyager, and Law & Order: SVU and I think this is probably his best role after his SVU one. This is only the fourth Star Trek time travel episode or movie featuring the crew to be set in “the present”, the other two being Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home and Star Trek: Voyager’s “Future’s End”. And no, I don’t count the Original Series’ “Tomorrow Is Yesterday” because it was set a couple of years in the future from when the episode aired or Voyager’s “11:59” because that was a flashback rather than the crew interacting with modern humans. *****.
Chosen Realm: Manny Coto was obviously hoping I’d make the connection between the sphere building cult to radical Islam or the Palenstinians but frankly I think D’Jamat’s cult reminded me more of Christian Dominionists who bomb abortion clinics. D’Jamat was SO delusional and unwilling for any self-sacrifice that he is obviously a rightwinger whether Coto intended him to be or not. He is the biggest Star Trek fool since either Gul Dukat or Kai Winn. The only difference here is that those two had great actors to really dig into those roles and chew the scenery. Here, I’m just annoyed at the guy. Gotta admit, the ending was pretty sweet. Very “Let That Be Your Last Battlefield” had Bele and Loki actually learned a lesson in that episode. ***.
Proving Ground: Only Shran / Andorian episode of the show I don’t like because Shran is the bad guy here (even if it’s sort of against his will). Shran’s alliance and mutual respect with Archer is what makes him such a great character (along with Jeffrey Comb’s excellent performance). I didn’t get that from this episode. **.
Strategem: I think they probably should have revealed Archer’s deception to the audience in the teaser. By keeping it going for an extra act it made the episode seem like a less interesting version of Twilight. Luckily, once we learn that Archer is tricking Degra, the episode perks right up and becomes a fun game of cat and mouse. ***.
Harbinger: Dullsville. And I’m sick of Reed’s wang waving contests with Major Hayes who has frankly done nothing to earn that much disrespect or insults. It doesn’t say much for your show’s regulars if you are rooting for the new guest stars. *1/2.
Doctor’s Orders: Here’s an idea for an episode. What if a crew member starting seeing scary things but no-one believed him and thought he was imagining them? And what if it turned out he actually WAS imagining them? Yes, the episode is as boring as I just made it sound. **.
Hatchery: Fair episode. What I liked about it is that Archer pretty much had explanations for all of his behaviors right until the end so it would be VERY easy for Hayes and the MACO’s to side with him. And I’m probably the only person alive who thought those baby Insectoids were cute. ***.
Azati Prime: Whoa! That cliffhanger was balls to the walls awesomesauce. I have NEVER seen a Star Trek ship damaged so heavily that wasn’t actually destroyed. But the thing about the episode that really got me was a throwaway line from Daniels: At some point in the future, the Klingons will actually join the Federation. That really makes me happy for some reason. ****1/2.
Damage: Unlike in Similtude, I can find no justifications for Archer’s actions here. Picard would have found another way. It was refreshing to see Casey Biggs (Deep Space Nine’s Damar) play a good guy though. *1/2.
The Forgotten: The Trip stuff was VERY boring (most overrated character on the show) but the rest of the episode clicked. Hey, look, it’s Seth MacFarlane! ****.
E2: This is an almost shot-for-shot remake of DS9’s “Children Of Time”. I exaggerate but usually when Trek repeats itself it isn’t by aping the most beloved episodes of their classic series. Still, I love the revelation that had that timeline occured, Reed would have died childless, spouseless, and alone. Couldn’t happen to a more deserving buttmunch. ***.
The Council: Very exciting episode. Poor Degra. He (like DS9’s Gul Damar) makes the unlikeliest of martyrs but I’m betting his legacy will be similar to Li Nalas (although in his case he will actually have EARNED his name being spoken in hushed tones). ****1/2.
Countdown: I love the Aquatics (very beautiful design) and the episode keeps getting better and better. But “Boo!” for killing off Major Hayes! The specials effects were amazing this episode and deservedly won an Emmy. Yes, Battlestar Galactica has done more epic space battles since. But it had very few non-Cylon / space battle effects that wowed me like this did. Here, every single thing from the Aquatics and the Insectoids to the Aquatic’s ship spilling water into space when it exploded rocked. This was magnificent. ****1/2.
Zero Hour: The cliffhanger was only so-so (did Berman and Braga even have a garuantee Enterprise was coming back?) but the rest of the episode was kick-butt. Take note: this is the only time in television history where cuddly Scott Bakula has a bada** moment. It’s when Dolim explodes from the bomb and blood splatters all over Archer’s face. That was one COLD look. And him running through the exploding superweapon after that was as iconic an image as Enterprise ever gave us. As famous as the Star Trek franchise is, it hasn’t actually given us many iconic images since The Original Series. This deserves to be played early on in the clip reel. And yay, Shran! Jeffrey Combs gnaws on the furniture and gets splinters in his bloody teeth. “Now he owes ME!” Heh. ****1/2.
Deleted Scenes:
Not very many this year. Overall: ***1/2.
Similitude:
*Scene 26: Boring Malcolm scene. But I repeat myself. *1/2.
*Scene 44: Porthos is cute! ****.
*Scene 96: Scene between Trip and T'Pol discussing Trip studying his species. I think it was good enough to keep in the episode but if it WAS running long it was a logical cut. ****1/2.
Chosen Realm:
*Scene 35: D'Jamat is a real piece of work. Biggest deluded Star Trek fool since Gul Dukat. ***1/2.
E2:
*Scene 22: Extended scene between Trip and Lorian discussing T'Pol. ***1/2.
*Scene B33: Scene between Archer and Phlox discussing their descendants. ****.
The Xindi Saga Begins: I have never had less respect for Rick Berman and Brannon Braga than I have after watching this. And THAT is saying something Buncha torture apologists. “Ticking Clock scenario”, my a**. *.
Enterprise Moments: Season 3: Good recap of the season. ****.
Enterprise Profile: Connor Trinneer: Trinneer doesn’t have a Southern accent in real life, at least not one that is detectable. ***1/2.
A Day In The Life Of A Director: Roxanne Dawson: B’Ellana Torres is still cute! ****.
Outtakes: Better than the season two outtakes because they don’t usually play the entire scene before the flub. ***1/2.
Photo Gallery: Production and Behind the Scenes photos. I imagine some of these wound up being used for trading cards. ****.
Easter Eggs:
NX-01 File 07: John Billingsley discusses his nude scene and that he believes Phlox has three members. *****.
NX-01 File 08: Robert Blackman talks about creating the Enterprise uniforms. Those denim ones are fugly. **1/2.
NX-01 File 09: Mike Sussman discusses E2. Am I the only one who finds the idea of Trip naming his Vulcan son after an Elven city from Lord of the Rings hysterical? Not only does Trip have a wry sense of humor but he’s a Tolkien nerd! ****.
Star Trek: The Original Series: Season Three Trailer: Looks good. ****.
DVD Menus: Featuring the Xindi Reptillian ship, some Xindi Insectoid ships, and the Xindi superweapon. Disc 7 has Easter Eggs. ****.
Upcoming reviews include Star Trek: Enterprise: Season 4, Star Trek: The Animated Series: The Complete Series, Red Dwarf X, Frankenweenie, Young Justice: Invasion: Destiny Calling, The Charlie Brown And Snoopy Show: The Complete Series, The Spectacular Spider-Man: Volume 5, The Spectacular Spider-Man: Volume 6, The Spectacular Spider-Man: Volume 7, The Spectacular Spider-Man: Volume 8, The Adventures Of Young Indiana Jones: Volume 2: The War Years, The Adventures Of Young Indiana Jones: Volume 3: The Years Of Change, and Heathcliff: Season 1: Volume 1.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
I knew going in the tone would be very different from Lord of the Rings so I am truly confused what the critics of the movie are complaining about. No, it's not as epic as Lord of the Rings. But it's not meant to be. Frankly I think it WAS actually more epic than the source material deserved (quite a bit of padding going on) so I don't get what the complaints are.
It's also very funny, especially considering how serious the Lord of the Rings movies were by comparison. Martin Freeman make a GREAT Bilbo Baggins and I think Richard Armitage was an inspired choice to play a surprisingly hunky Thorin Oakenshield. I also loved seeing Sylvester McCoy (The Seventh Doctor) playing Radagast the Brown who wasn't in the actual book (although he was described by Tolkien in either The Silmarillion or the Return of the King appendices; I forget which).
I also loved all of the cameos for actors from the original trilogy. Besides Ian McKellan and Andy Serkis we got roles for Ian Holm, Cate Blanchett, Christopher Lee, Elijah Wood, and Hugo Weaving. And none of those characters besides Elrond were in the actual book!
There is a major flaw in the movie and it's a big one: it doesn't do the Riddling Contest between Bilbo and Gollum justice. That was the awesomest part of the book and frankly the awesomeness thing J.R.R. Tolkien ever wrote. Without a narrater to describe both the rules of riddling and what was going on in Bilbo's head it feels like something is missing. Having Bilbo figure out the "Time" riddle was also a disappointment because in the book he answers it correctly purely by accident and the narrater seems as delighted by that fact as the reader is. We needed some Ian Holm narration for this.
Other than that I had a blast. No, it's not as good as either Fellowship of the Rings or Return Of The King. But I think it is about the same quality as The Two Towers and in some respects better (there was some boredom for me in Two Towers that was absent here). I also think adding stuff from the appendices from Return of the King padded the movie a bit. But the movie was still really great. It boggles my mind that it didn't get an Oscar nomination. Awesome movie. ****1/2.
DC Nation
Green Lantern: The Animated Series "Prisoner Of Sinestro"
Love that they're taking the tack of keeping Sinestro a GL for now. It seems like Sinestro seems to go bad in every single one of his first appearances except for Green Lantern: The Movie and Green Lantern: Emerald Knights. I want to see what CAUSES him to become a bad guy for once.
They are really exploring the Aya / Razer ship pretty hard. I expect them to be on and off until the season finale.
Pretty great episode. ****1/2.
Young Justice: Invasion "True Colors"
Loved it and I think this was the best episode of Invasion so far (I thought the one where Aqualad "killed" Artemis but was actually revealed to be a double-agent was overrated).
Look! It's Ben 10!
My one minor complaint was that there were too many "Xanatos Gambits" where the villains were predicting every move the heroes would make. It's starts to become annoying after awhile. My one MAJOR complaint is that Gorden Godfrey is beyond annoying. Who voices him anyways? Because he's over-the-top awful.
Deathstroke! I didn't expect to see him this season. Loved the scene between Sportsmaster and the Light too.
Speaking of Deathstroke, why can this show call him that but Teen Titans had to settle for Slade?
Great episode. I'm rooting for Jaime. ****1/2.
"Amethyst, Princess Of Gemworld: Level 3: Random Encounter"
That tree reminded me of Wispy Woods from Kirby's Adventure. And those flowers begging to be eaten were very creepy. The creature from the bottom of the lake reminded me of something from ThunderCats. Very cool cartoon. ****1/2.
Arrow "Burned"
I liked this interpretation of Firefly but I don't think they should have killed him off. The episode was good though.
Man, Dig is RIPPED. He's an even bigger hardbody than Oliver. That reminds me of the fact that Justin Hartley had bigger muscles than Tom Welling on Smallville.
Detective Lance really IS a butthole. Laurel is gonna be P.O.ed when she finds out what he did.
No Merlyn Sr. this week. I hope he shows up again soon.
Very good. ****.
Once Upon A Time "The Outsider"
I am furious with Captain Hook. So much for being "misunderstood". You know, I understand that Rumpelstilskin hurt him badly in a VERY evil way but Rumpel was CURSED by the being the Dark One and I don't hold his pre-Storybrooke actions against him the way I do, say Regina or Cora. Part of the curse is that he couldn't HELP doing evil. What Hook did to Belle is NOT the same thing at all. Especially considering she had JUST saved his life. What happened BETTER be reversible or I will NEVER forgive Hook.
That said Rumpel and Belle WERE stupid to be hugging on the town line. I can think of a dozen things that DIDN'T happen that could have gone wrong with that scenario.
Did NOT expect to see Archie freed so soon. I have to wonder if Regina will accept Emma's apology or not. I'm leaning towards the idea that she will for Henry's sake. But I'm not sure I would be so forgiving in her place.
I noticed one thing different about Rumpelstiltskin this episode: he never lied to Belle even when he probably should have. He promised in an earlier episode to stop lying to her but I NEVER thought he would follow through. True, he didn't answer all of her questions, but I don't even consider them lies of omission because it could be argued that the reason he didn't tell Belle about his wife was because it was too painful, and the reason he didn't promise NOT to kill Hook in the shop is because he refused to lie to her. I am truly shocked by this development and have to give Belle WAY more credit than I did earlier. I previously considered her a Stockholm Syndrone suffering, lovesick fool but I think this episode proved that she HAD changed Gold after all. Unfortunately, that might all be undone after what Hook did to her but I am now of the opinion that Gold CAN be believably redeemed if the writers choose to.
Speaking of being impressed by Belle she punked Captain Hook TWICE. That made him shooting her in the back even MORE despicable and cowardly considering both times she got the best of him she was facing him. She also impressed me in the flashbacks with Mulan. I'm starting to think the writers have taken the internet criticisms of Belle as an anti-feminist character VERY seriously. Because they backtracked that idea completely tonight. Unfortunately it will probably be back to ditzy, annoying Belle next week since her memory is gone. I only pray that the writers don't go the Grimm Juliet route and have her hook up with another character while she has amnesia. I don't think I could take it.
Boy, was I really enjoying this episode until the last 60 seconds. And who was that person who drove into town? I'm glad next week isn't a rerun. ****.
Once Upon A Time "In The Name Of The Brother"
A lot of unlikely things happened this episode that I couldn't quite believe. A lot of plot related stupidity here.
First off, I cannot believe Gold would put the tea cup in that much jeopardy for any reason especially considering his sloppiness on the town line last week. The second Belle started flipping out I expected him to do everything in his power to protect the cup.
Second, Emma's interrogation of the stranger was a complete joke. With all that was at stake she asks a couple of simple questions and then leaves? Boy, it sure would help if she had a superpower to tell if someone was lying to her!
Third is the biggie. I don't believe Regina would forgive her mother for ANY reason, at least not the Regina we've seen portrayed on the show so far. She's had a single-minded hatred for Snow for simply being tangentally involved in Daniel's death. She has rejected every overture for peace made by Snow and her revenge refuses to be sated. I don't buy she would forgive the person who actually DID kill Daniel so easily.
It wasn't all bad. The Frankenstein stuff was interesting, if a bit predictable and I'm intruiged by the notion that Frankenstein isn't in Henry's book (is there a book he IS in?). Unfortunately, the plot holes kept gnawing at me.
One thing I did notice: When Gold threatened to kill everyone if Belle was harmed, I believe he meant it. Now, I don't believe he'd actually go through with it (it's been shown that he can be a softy when someone appeals to his better nature) but in that moment? He would have killed them all without breaking a sweat. That frightens me.
Didn't much like the episode. **.
Fringe "Liberty"
SO great to see Lincoln and Fauxlivia one last time. I would have liked updates on Alt-Astrid and Alt-Charlie too but time was really at a premium in these last two hours.
The end with December was great and a good cliffhanger.
Did I mention how brilliant Olivia's plan was? The thing that was so great about it is that it was using a method that had already been established years ago but that the audience had probably forgotten about at this point. Ditto on Olivia shutting off the lights with her mind in the next episode.
I liked the penultimate episode better than the actual finale. ****1/2.
Fringe "An Enemy Of Fate"
Not gonna lie. A MAJOR disappointment. The episode tried to do too much and the ending was mega-rushed. I was furious they killed off September and because they did that Peter and Olivia being together in the rebooted timeline doesn't make any sense. It could have worked if September had been the paradox instead of Walter but with September now erased from history who interrupted Walternate discovering the cure for Peter? For that matter who saved Peter and Walter at Raiden Lake? They had a PERFECT opportunity to wrap things up in a way that was not only a happy ending, but would have explained a LOT of the plotholes left at the end.
Does Peter not even know who Walter is? Was Walter erased from history or just that point in time? If it's just that point in time why didn't Peter seem to recognize Walter's name on the envelope? And if it's from all of history how could Peter possibly still be in our universe?
"Lost" didn't give us a ton of answers either but the last episode took it's time and gave us great goodbyes for all of the characters. Maybe the producers should have asked Fox for an extra hour or planned around the couple of filler episodes this season better. Either way, the ending was very unsatisfying.
Make no mistake: the ending was merely disappointing and not terrible. It's nowhere near as bad as the finales for either Roseanne or Twin Peaks. But I expected better from Fringe. They should have ended the show last season (minus the mini-cliffhanger) and just not bothered to have made Letters Of Transit.
I am truly bummed about this. **1/2.
MAD "Hip Hop Hobbit / The Monday Project"
The Hobbit spoof was hilarious especially Gandalf and Bilbo's reactions to watching the original movie. I loved that it was in the original Rankin Bass designs.
"Ant Funeral" was great too as was the cartoon where Santa was stuck in the chimney.
The Perks Of Being A Cauliflower was the weak link of the episode. Just because something CAN be a pun, doesn't mean it SHOULD be a pun.
My favorite bit was the Garfield one because it asked two obvious questions. Why DOES Garfield hate Mondays anyways? He's a freaking cat who sits around on his butt all day. Second, what ever DID happen to Lyman? He went up the same staircase as Richie's older brother on Happy Days (or the youngest Winslow daughter on Family Matters) and never came down.
Near perfect episode. If it weren't for the Wallflower spoof it would have gotten five stars. ****1/2.
TRON: Uprising "Rendezvous"
I'm starting to think Paige is a little bit stupid. How the HECK can she possibly believe Pavel's story after what he did to her? The Renegade has been been nothing but helpful to her and she thinks Pavel is still on her side? Ugh.
Only a couple more episodes this season. They better not end on a cliffhanger because I feel like a cancelation is imminent. ***1/2.
The Simpsons "A Test Before Trying"
Has Bart ALWAYS been this big of a little turd before? Because he was seriously starting to annoy me.
I was also annoyed that Marge had Homer throw that change down a well. She could have convinced him to give it to charity. He does what she tells him.
I didn't care much for this episode. **1/2.
Bob's Burgers "Nude Beach"
Is Andre Royo the first celebrity on this show to voice themselves? Why, I believe he is. This show officially has coolness cred.
The episode waa pretty funny too but hardly risque enough to warrant a TV-14 rating or Viewer Discretion card. When you compare it to a Sethverse show there is no contest.
I liked the episode. ***1/2.
The Cleveland Show "Escape From Goochland"
Very funny episode. I love the revelation that Gus is 117 years old. I loved seeing Cleveland dressed up as Papa Smurf, Tim as He-Man, and Federline as Inspector Gadget (complete with working propellor). I also laughed hard at President Harrison's wooden wife having a hole shaped mouth. Nothing changes. Heh.
Excellemt season premiere that I missed when it first aired. *****.
The Cleveland Show "Hustle 'N' Bros"
That line about playing Chinese Checkers with Czechs? Genius.
Pretty good episode. Which is nice because we haven't gotten a good one in a long while. Let's hope this is a trend.
Donna holding Larry the Leopard hostage made me laugh. She's crazy.
Rock Hudson was one cute dog. I really hope we see more of him and Rallo together.
Funny episode. ****.
Family Guy "Brian's Play"
I'll admit it. Brian's actions in this episode were pretty bad but for once I couldn't hold it against him. He described his feelings pretty well in his monologue near the end and I think that was a totally understandable way to feel. Stewie obviously felt so too. Still, Stewie's pointed insult to him about his play's mediocrity was Stewie's best line since his prolonged Olivia beatdown in "From Method To Madness". Excellent.
I thought they were gonna go for a different ending of Quahog hating Stewie's play. I thought the gag would be that the play was TOO good and highbrow that no-one in Quahog would be smart enough to understand it. What they did was better.
Quagmire seemed to enjoy Brian's play. I would have love to cut to a reaction shot of him either cheering for or not giving applause to Brian. I wanted to find out if Quagmire could give him ANYTHING or not. I think the writers owed us that.
Yay, Jasper! Part of the reason I wasn't mad at Brian was that he was just taking Jasper's advice, which I had to admit, despite being complete immoral was probably the right advice to give.
I liked the episode a lot. ****1/2.
American Dad "The Adventures of Twill Ongenbone And His Boy Jabari"
The Stan and Steve "Taxicab Confessions" on the phone bit was gold. Seriously fuuny stuff.
I think the ending to the episode was a little too pat. It seemed more like the ending to a traditional sitcom (Francine being impressed with all of the hard work Roger put into his lies) than something a clever show like this would do.
And I'll just say it: that Cuba Gooding Jr. slam was TOO mean. I hate the guy too, but seeing a nearly empty church at his funeral went FAR beyond any level of an acceptable diss. Seth MacFarlane is SUCH a b******.
The Stan and Steve stuff was excellent. The rest of the episode not so much. ***.
Haven "Reunion"
Having every food you touch turn into cake is both the best and the worst Trouble ever at the exact same time. Loved it.
The episode was pretty good too. The last act really answered a ton of questions even if the rest of the episode was a bit light on the mythology. The showdown between Audrey and Arla at the end more than made up for it.
Dave clocking Vince over the head was hilarious.
A good one. ****.
Haven "Thanks For The Memories"
I cannot believe the huge number of questions they answered. Vince is part of the Guard? What's his Trouble? What about Dave? Speaking of Vince, locking Dave in the trunk of his car was SO funny. Dwight's reaction was priceless too.
Nathan was shot WAAAAYYYY more times than I was comfortable with. I became convinced he WAS going to die. I'm still not convinced he won't. Could this be a situation similar to Micheal Vaughn's fate in the fourth season finale of Alias? Whereas he survives the cliffhanger only to "die" in the next season premiere? We'll see.
Even as a Frankenstein Laura Vandervoort is hot.
I can't see how they are going to get out of this but the series HAS been renewed so we'll find out next fall. That's going to be a LOOOOONNNG way away. *****.
30 Rock "Florida"
SO glad they didn't have something happen between Jack and Liz. I was seriously afraid of that. But we found out he banged Jenna in season three. Gross.
Speaking of gross, Hazel's deposition over the end credits was a riot.
I am VERY surprised to learn that Jack's mom hoping he was happy potentially COULD have been geniune. We'll never know for sure and I'm sure that's what is screwing with Jack so much.
I'm looking forward to seeing how the show ends.
Parks And Recreation "Two Parties"
Chris and Ben are still trying to figure out Jerry and Gale. I love that Jerry seems especially clueless about it. Christie Brinkley is SO totally not his type.
Tom's "expiremental bar" was hilarious. I especially like the liquor that was a lotion and the one that was a flash of bright light. Are those kinds of bars even a thing? Because I wouldn't be surprised if they are. As Ron noted "This is the wrong way to drink liquor."
Great. Now I have a craving for gummy penises.
Jonathan Joss is awesome. That is all that needs to be said.
Hilarious episode. ****1/2.
The Office "Suit Warehouse”
Daryll getting up to excuse himself from the meeting because he felt so underqualified was SO endearing. No wonder they hired him even after he accidentally killed the fish. Speaking of, that was the dumbest move ever.
Clark being Jan’s boytoy was all kinds of ick. I especially liked him describing making love to her like making love to a swarm of bees.
Loved Angela putting a tissue over the group’s hands for the group cheer. That is SO totally OCD.
I’m glad Erin is avoiding Pete. I don’t know what Greg Daniels was thinking, having that “relationship” progress while Andy is out of town. It just make Pete’s actions seem doubly immoral.
Poor Pam. We are getting some idea where the series is headed for the finale now.
Pretty good. ***1/2.
1600 Penn "Putting Out Fires"
I was hooked from the hilarious opening scene, before they even got to any of the White House stuff. Skip is a hilarious character and it's no wonder that they seemed to center the show around him (Josh Gad gets first billing instead of Bill Pullman or Jenna Elfman). My only complaint is that it is going to take a LONG time to see Bill Pullman in anything and not think of him as pedophile murderer Oswald Danes from Torchwood: Miracle Day. I hope I eventually will be able to do it but I haven't yet.
I haven't stopped thinking of Jenna Elfman as Dharma yet either but that's not an unpleasant association.
Great pilot. ****1/2.
1600 Penn "The Skiplantic Ocean"
Like most second episodes, not as good as the Pilot. Still, it was interesting even when there were fewer laughs. I wonder if Dale talking to his war strategists about his family will become a show cliche the way the mean older doctors tricking the younger doctors into being better doctors by being buttholes was on Scrubs was and become REALLY noticable in later years. Let's just say I'm not looking forward to 1600 Penn: Med School. ***1/2.
1600 Penn “So You Don’t Want To Dance?”
I’m sorry, but Stacy Keach is WAAAAYYY too young to believably play someone who has been in the Senate for fifty years. You can dye his hair completely white and put him in a wheelchair but he is STILL as feisty as Papa Titus. Nice try, producers.
Skip is really making me smile with his awkwardness. He is so funny. Loved him asking the mailroom guy for permission to date one of his workers. What a goof.
Good. ****.
The Following "Pilot"
Addictive. The format of the show is great. Like Lost and many Bad Robot productions there are flashbacks. But the scenes are brief and emcompass many different characters. That means there are more of them and that we get a ton of information all at once. If this is the actual format of the show and not just a gimmick of the Pilot this could be the best new show of the season.
I was shocked they killed off Maggie Grace. Because of the flashbacks she can reappear but she was billed as a series regular and went on the press tour promoting the show. This is a trick both Joss Whedon AND the producers of Lost always wanted to do but could never find either the budget for it or a network that would agree to it. It's a great storytelling device.
By the way, I'm predicting at this moment that Shawn Ashmore's character is a member of the cult. There is NO way Carroll could have been as successful as he was last night without a person deep on the inside and the smart money is on Ashmore's character. Seriously, if there isn't at least ONE mole on the team (there could be many) the entire police department and FBI would look extremely incompetent.
Fabulous pilot. The next fourteen weeks look to be quite a ride. *****.
American Horror Story: Asylum "Continuum"
Well, there goes my theory about the Angel of Death being an Angel of Mercy. After torturing Jude that way she is obviously the Devil's sister in spirit too.
I understand why Alma killed Grace. I do. I'm trying to sympathize, but she did it the cruelest, craziest way possible. Did she HAVE to do it in front Kit? And in such a bloody fashion? With the kids in the next room? You know Alma, poisons exist and if you were TRULY trying to protect your family you would have taken Grace on a trip to the country and left her in an unmarked grave. That was just stupid.
I think the biggest disappointment to me was seeing Lana sell out. After last week I became hopeful that she could become a crusader for justice for the mentally ill and tortured at Briarcliff but she totally reverted to the exploitive reporter she was in the first episode. I share Kit's disappointment with her and hope that over the years she's changed. She will need to have changed if she is going to face Bloodyface Jr. next week. She can't do it if she is still as weak as she was this episode.
I want Bloodyface Jr. dead. Now. And I want Lana to be the one to kill him.
After the highs of last week I felt this episode was a major let-down. **1/2.
Star Trek: Enterprise: The Complete Third Season
I’m not going to say Season Three of Enterprise is the first good Enterprise season. True, it isn’t horrible like seasons 1 and 2 are, it has some classic episodes, and builds to an exciting finale. But there are too many weak things about it to say that.
What I WILL say is that this is the very first season of Enterprise to actually FEEL like a Star Trek season. And that’s good enough for me. Would I have rather gotten an excellent season of the quality of the best of Next Generation or Deep Space Nine? Absolutely. Will I turn up my nose at the first Non-DS9 season as good as Season Four of Voyager? No way.
The Xindi arc was definitely a mixed bag. While it was interesting in places it definitely felt as if the show was going a bit off track. I was fine with that because it was a better show than the first two seasons but if we could have had a “regular” season, dealing with the origins of the Star Trek mythos as good as this one, I would have been MUCH happier. I think the only complaints fans had about season four (besides the last episode sucking) was that it was something the show should have been doing since day one.
Worst thing about the season is easily the “Vulcan Neuro-pressure” sessions with Tucker and T’Pol. Enterprise has ALWAYS had an exploitative, “sex sells” attitude about it but this smacks especially of desperation. Even more so than the decontamination scenes in seasons one and two. I’m actually embarrassed for the actors here. Berman and Braga should be ashamed of themselves.
Best episodes of the season are the Vulcan zombie apocalypse (Impulse), TNG’s “Future Imperfect” done right (Twilight), the Western with nightmarish humans (North Star), the one set in present day Detroit (Carpenter Street), the one with the awesome cliffhanger (Azati Prime), and the final three episodes of the season to conclude the Xindi arc (The Council, Countdown, Zero Hour). Worst episodes are the torture apologist’s wet dream (Anomaly), the terrible “Extinction”, the sexist “Rajiin”, the only bad Andorian episode (Proving Ground), the dull “Harbinger”, the duller “Doctor’s Orders”, and the episode that just didn’t sit right with me (Damage). Season Overall: ***. Xindi Arc Overall: ***1/2.
The Xindi: Those MACO's impressed the heck out of me. I love the idea of Starfleet having an elite special forces unit and it was pretty awesome. By the way, Malcolm Reed? Biggest butthole in the universe. I bet he’s tiny “down there”. ***1/2.
Anomaly: I realize Star Trek (especially Enterprise) has gotten more conservative over the years (especially after Manny Coto came aboard) but the idea of a Star Trek series trying to justify torture just rankles me. Gene Roddenberry would have been appalled, less evolved humans or not. **.
Extinction: Terrible episode. This could have come during season 1 or 2. *.
Rajiin: Sexist episode. Nowhere near as bad as Next Generation's The Perfect Mate but for all of Star Trek's progressive bonafides when it comes to race relations, their views on feminism have always left much to be desired. *1/2.
Impulse: How cool is it that we got a Star Trek zombie episode? This was a turning point for the series in my mind and showed that the series could both have fun and be exciting. Nicely done. ****1/2.
Exile: This episode was SO predictable to the point that they might as well not even have made it. It has every Star Trek trope in the book in addition to multiple genre cliches. Sigh. **1/2.
The Shipment: This episode and the next pack a one-two punch about what's at stake. This episode would probably have been better served to air second (considering it was the way the series ultimately chose to go) but I have to say that by airing them in this order, it freaked me quite the bit out. It's like this episode lulls you into a false sense of security only to have it completely demolished one hour later. ****.
Twilight: This shares a similar premise to Next Generation's Future Imperfect. But it blows that beloved but overrated episode out of the water. Why? Because there are actual stakes involved, it ties into the mythology of the show, and even though the reset button is hit at the end, the ending is NOT a cheat. It also gives us a terrifying idea of what the actual Xindi plan is and we realize they won't be satisfied simply destroying Earth. They plan to wipe out every single human in existence. Yikes. Just when we thought there might be a way to make peace last episode, this one makes that dream seem impossible and hopeless. Awesome episode. *****.
North Star: Better than I remembered it. Those humans on that planet were freaking MESSED UP. What really galls me is that they used slavery that happened hundreds of years ago as justification for their bigotry and criminal activities. For the record, people like them in their own time would be the ones fighting FOR the Confederacy, to keep the subjegation of black people as slaves so the irony is extra thick. And like the worst examples of Southerners they keep a grudge for WAAYYY longer than a sane person would. I was just waiting for them to call the Skag invasion “the war of space aggression”. Jebus. ****1/2.
Similitude: I hated this episode when it first aired, but it’s not so bad. I think I had just grouped this with “Tuvix” in my mind of Star Trek Captains doing something completely unethical for the sake of convenience. This is a whole different kettle of fish than Tuvix. There was absolutely no justification for what Janeway did to Tuvix (it was straight-up first degree murder) whereas here the episode went out of its way to make the circumstances ambiguous. I couldn’t root for Tuvix to be seperated when there was absolutely no real reason to do it. But here, Sim was gonna die in a few days anyway. Or was he? Could they have found a cure? If they tried they would have risked failure and lost both Sim AND Trip. And Archer wasn’t going to try the procedure unless Phlox was sure Sim wouldn’t be harmed (that turned out great, huh?). This episode made me think rather than scowl. ***1/2.
Carpenter Street: Another great episode (surrprisingly written by Berman and Braga, the two worst Star Trek writers of all time) that was funny and exciting. I’ve always been a fan of Leland Orser from his roles on Deep Space Nine, Voyager, and Law & Order: SVU and I think this is probably his best role after his SVU one. This is only the fourth Star Trek time travel episode or movie featuring the crew to be set in “the present”, the other two being Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home and Star Trek: Voyager’s “Future’s End”. And no, I don’t count the Original Series’ “Tomorrow Is Yesterday” because it was set a couple of years in the future from when the episode aired or Voyager’s “11:59” because that was a flashback rather than the crew interacting with modern humans. *****.
Chosen Realm: Manny Coto was obviously hoping I’d make the connection between the sphere building cult to radical Islam or the Palenstinians but frankly I think D’Jamat’s cult reminded me more of Christian Dominionists who bomb abortion clinics. D’Jamat was SO delusional and unwilling for any self-sacrifice that he is obviously a rightwinger whether Coto intended him to be or not. He is the biggest Star Trek fool since either Gul Dukat or Kai Winn. The only difference here is that those two had great actors to really dig into those roles and chew the scenery. Here, I’m just annoyed at the guy. Gotta admit, the ending was pretty sweet. Very “Let That Be Your Last Battlefield” had Bele and Loki actually learned a lesson in that episode. ***.
Proving Ground: Only Shran / Andorian episode of the show I don’t like because Shran is the bad guy here (even if it’s sort of against his will). Shran’s alliance and mutual respect with Archer is what makes him such a great character (along with Jeffrey Comb’s excellent performance). I didn’t get that from this episode. **.
Strategem: I think they probably should have revealed Archer’s deception to the audience in the teaser. By keeping it going for an extra act it made the episode seem like a less interesting version of Twilight. Luckily, once we learn that Archer is tricking Degra, the episode perks right up and becomes a fun game of cat and mouse. ***.
Harbinger: Dullsville. And I’m sick of Reed’s wang waving contests with Major Hayes who has frankly done nothing to earn that much disrespect or insults. It doesn’t say much for your show’s regulars if you are rooting for the new guest stars. *1/2.
Doctor’s Orders: Here’s an idea for an episode. What if a crew member starting seeing scary things but no-one believed him and thought he was imagining them? And what if it turned out he actually WAS imagining them? Yes, the episode is as boring as I just made it sound. **.
Hatchery: Fair episode. What I liked about it is that Archer pretty much had explanations for all of his behaviors right until the end so it would be VERY easy for Hayes and the MACO’s to side with him. And I’m probably the only person alive who thought those baby Insectoids were cute. ***.
Azati Prime: Whoa! That cliffhanger was balls to the walls awesomesauce. I have NEVER seen a Star Trek ship damaged so heavily that wasn’t actually destroyed. But the thing about the episode that really got me was a throwaway line from Daniels: At some point in the future, the Klingons will actually join the Federation. That really makes me happy for some reason. ****1/2.
Damage: Unlike in Similtude, I can find no justifications for Archer’s actions here. Picard would have found another way. It was refreshing to see Casey Biggs (Deep Space Nine’s Damar) play a good guy though. *1/2.
The Forgotten: The Trip stuff was VERY boring (most overrated character on the show) but the rest of the episode clicked. Hey, look, it’s Seth MacFarlane! ****.
E2: This is an almost shot-for-shot remake of DS9’s “Children Of Time”. I exaggerate but usually when Trek repeats itself it isn’t by aping the most beloved episodes of their classic series. Still, I love the revelation that had that timeline occured, Reed would have died childless, spouseless, and alone. Couldn’t happen to a more deserving buttmunch. ***.
The Council: Very exciting episode. Poor Degra. He (like DS9’s Gul Damar) makes the unlikeliest of martyrs but I’m betting his legacy will be similar to Li Nalas (although in his case he will actually have EARNED his name being spoken in hushed tones). ****1/2.
Countdown: I love the Aquatics (very beautiful design) and the episode keeps getting better and better. But “Boo!” for killing off Major Hayes! The specials effects were amazing this episode and deservedly won an Emmy. Yes, Battlestar Galactica has done more epic space battles since. But it had very few non-Cylon / space battle effects that wowed me like this did. Here, every single thing from the Aquatics and the Insectoids to the Aquatic’s ship spilling water into space when it exploded rocked. This was magnificent. ****1/2.
Zero Hour: The cliffhanger was only so-so (did Berman and Braga even have a garuantee Enterprise was coming back?) but the rest of the episode was kick-butt. Take note: this is the only time in television history where cuddly Scott Bakula has a bada** moment. It’s when Dolim explodes from the bomb and blood splatters all over Archer’s face. That was one COLD look. And him running through the exploding superweapon after that was as iconic an image as Enterprise ever gave us. As famous as the Star Trek franchise is, it hasn’t actually given us many iconic images since The Original Series. This deserves to be played early on in the clip reel. And yay, Shran! Jeffrey Combs gnaws on the furniture and gets splinters in his bloody teeth. “Now he owes ME!” Heh. ****1/2.
Deleted Scenes:
Not very many this year. Overall: ***1/2.
Similitude:
*Scene 26: Boring Malcolm scene. But I repeat myself. *1/2.
*Scene 44: Porthos is cute! ****.
*Scene 96: Scene between Trip and T'Pol discussing Trip studying his species. I think it was good enough to keep in the episode but if it WAS running long it was a logical cut. ****1/2.
Chosen Realm:
*Scene 35: D'Jamat is a real piece of work. Biggest deluded Star Trek fool since Gul Dukat. ***1/2.
E2:
*Scene 22: Extended scene between Trip and Lorian discussing T'Pol. ***1/2.
*Scene B33: Scene between Archer and Phlox discussing their descendants. ****.
The Xindi Saga Begins: I have never had less respect for Rick Berman and Brannon Braga than I have after watching this. And THAT is saying something Buncha torture apologists. “Ticking Clock scenario”, my a**. *.
Enterprise Moments: Season 3: Good recap of the season. ****.
Enterprise Profile: Connor Trinneer: Trinneer doesn’t have a Southern accent in real life, at least not one that is detectable. ***1/2.
A Day In The Life Of A Director: Roxanne Dawson: B’Ellana Torres is still cute! ****.
Outtakes: Better than the season two outtakes because they don’t usually play the entire scene before the flub. ***1/2.
Photo Gallery: Production and Behind the Scenes photos. I imagine some of these wound up being used for trading cards. ****.
Easter Eggs:
NX-01 File 07: John Billingsley discusses his nude scene and that he believes Phlox has three members. *****.
NX-01 File 08: Robert Blackman talks about creating the Enterprise uniforms. Those denim ones are fugly. **1/2.
NX-01 File 09: Mike Sussman discusses E2. Am I the only one who finds the idea of Trip naming his Vulcan son after an Elven city from Lord of the Rings hysterical? Not only does Trip have a wry sense of humor but he’s a Tolkien nerd! ****.
Star Trek: The Original Series: Season Three Trailer: Looks good. ****.
DVD Menus: Featuring the Xindi Reptillian ship, some Xindi Insectoid ships, and the Xindi superweapon. Disc 7 has Easter Eggs. ****.