"Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears A Who!" Review (Spoilers)
Also reviews for the latest episodes of Star Trek: Prodigy, DC's Legends Of Tomorrow, Batwoman, Peacemaker, Spidey And His Amazing Friends, and Blade Runner: Black Lotus.
Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears A Who!
I made a mistake. That was in my watchlist for a couple of weeks, and I should have watched it last week. I almost certainly still wouldn't have liked it, but I doubt I would feel this level of rage towards it I do on the day I learned about the fact that Blue Sky ripped off and stole the character of Scrat from Ice Age. That story angered me so much, especially because I hadn't heard it until the very day Disney lost their court battles and their rights, and I'm just not willing to give Blue Sky ANY benefit of the doubt anymore. I am pissed off beyond belief.
But it's not like the movie isn't actually totally crappy and a good excuse for me to complain anyways. It totally sucks. I'm just saying if I had saw this last week my critiques might have been more measured. But screw Blue Sky. It is everything wrong with animation. People were super upset Disney closed the studio. After learning the truth about Scrat I truly believe animation is better off. And if movies like this are any indication, popular culture is better off with it gone too.
When did the movie lose me for good? The opening credits. Jim Carrey is Horton? I cannot possibly think of a stupider miscast. Forget the fact that Horton is supposed to be stoic, faithful and noble, and all Carrey plays are buttholes and goofballs. His comedy style is physical. His voice is not distinct or any good for animation. That goes for Steve Carell too. This movie is filled by actors who have no business being anywhere near a cartoon. I would argue the only true "cartoon-worthy" voices in the movie are Will Arnett and Niecy Nash. I don't give two craps about Seth Rogen, and Carol Burnett is utterly wasted too.
The fact that the producers were more interested in getting marquee box office names to lure parents to the theaters, instead of hiring good actors right for the roles says that Blue Sky is a terrible studio, and animation in Hollywood has become terrible in general. It is the worst current practice of animated films and it's become endemic. Animated movies are far worse for it. This is all Shrek and Dreamworks' fault. And now all animation film voicework sucks ass. It pisses me off.
I'm busy dumping on Blue Sky right now (and I might do an essay elsewhere about the Scrat fiasco) but the truth is the main three characters of Ice Age had good voices. John Leguizamo is a good cartoon voice, and the fact that Ray Romano isn't as big a cartoon staple as Mark Hamill or Clancy Brown is a crying shame. Ironically, even Denis Leary's rough voice works for a more serious-minded character like Diego. So it's not like the studio has never done decent casting.
Let me be blunt: I don't love this Dr. Seuss book to begin with. Both Horton AND the Whos had better separate projects elsewhere (in Horton Hatches The Egg and How The Grinch Stole Christmas). The problem is the Kangaroo is such a lousy villain. She supposed to be a stand-in for charismatic authoritarian leaders everywhere, without containing a speck of charisma. What's weird is that Dr. Seuss has created plenty of villains who fit that mold well in The Butter Battle Book, Yertle The Turtle, The Sneetches. But I find the Kangaroo sucks because her wants and needs are stupid and make no sense. I read an online article called "The Basic Laws Of Human Stupidity" recently, and she's checks off all the boxes there. So I find her more annoying than anything else.
Man, that was outright awful. I'm pissed at how bad that was, and how apparently Blue Sky has been skating on crappy movies and thievery for decades. Screw them. This movie sucked. *.
Star Trek: Prodigy "A Moral Star, Part 1"
That felt very much unfinished, and I was dying to know what came next. In other words, a successful first part.
The Diviner is turning out to be one of those rare Star Trek villains like Gul Dukat who actually has no redeeming qualities. Those specific baddies are unusual, and I confess I like being allowed to hate them.
I'm curious what his beef with Starfleet is. Must have something to do with Captain Chakotay's last mission. It would be weird if it didn't.
Can't wait for next week. ****1/2.
DC's Legends Of Tomorrow "The Fixed Point"
This episode made me a believer.
Honestly, this is one of the best premises the show has ever come up with. What's interesting to me is that I was dying to see this week based on how last week ended. But I never predicted it would be this great. And I certainly never predicted it would be this great for the reasons it was. There were surface things in the episode I didn't like, but unlike most weeks they worked out like gangbusters.
When I saw Zari and Spooner get together I was like, "This is going to be this show at its most insufferable, and turn Spooner into a gossipy sidekick for Zari because that's how nonsense on this show actually works." In reality, Zari finds out and realizes Spooner is asexual, which is very rare for any kind of television, and she explains to Spooner what the notion is, and Spooner bonds with her because she realizes she's not crazy and unusual after all. And I like that.
Similarly, Gwyn both annoys me and breaks my heart with his religious fundamentalism. The thing that breaks my heart is the fact that unlike almost every hypocritical fundamentalist who is gay and refuses to admit it, Gwyn takes penance for his feelings very seriously. He's actually worried about what God thinks instead of worrying about what his religious community would think. I'm not for a second suggesting there would be less gay fundamentalists if they behaved like Gwyn. I will suggest there would be a lot more self-denial and celibacy if those gay fundamentalists weren't just paying lip-service to God and weren't actually total hypocrites in their words and actions.
Thanwne shocked me, but he shouldn't have, because I heard Matt Lescher was coming back. But his role as a redeemed good guy surprised me, and impressed me that the Thawne on this specific tangent has gained enough wisdom to want to do the right thing by time, and protect it instead of mess with it. It's rewarding to me as a viewer who watched and enjoyed Lescher on this show, and is getting increasingly frustrated and disgusted with how The Flash uses Tom Cavanaugh's version on that show. It's precisely the fact that that version and that show have gotten so off-the-rails that I appreciate this show taking a different tack with the actor they are loyal to. And yeah, it's way more interesting.
The Fixed Point bar reminds me of the way station Sam Beckett visited in the last episode of Quantum Leap "Mirror Image". A way-station bar for time-travelers is a great idea, and I like the idea that a popular spot involves the most intractable fixed point of all. And I like that Sarah is allowed to try over and over again because she can't be killed. And I'm thinking that an Immortal time traveler like say, Vandal Savage might have had an easier assignment in breaking the fixed point than everybody else here. As it was, both her inability to die, and the clockstopper Maguffin, give her an edge nobody else has. Even by the end the snotty kids are rooting for her too. It felt weirdly empowering, especially figuring out it's not Time killing people, but a person. It's a really cool idea.
If the show was this every week I'd never complain about it. And I seem to recall the show was often like this in Season 3, its best season. But it's been awhile since it has been that thoroughly enjoyable. I missed loving this show, and while I'm not foolish enough to expect it every week past this going forward, I did enjoy feeling that way for this episode. *****.
Batwoman "Toxic"
I didn't like the ending because it strikes me as very Berlanti (in a bad way). It reminds me unpleasantly of Titans, which is sadly where I think this show is going next. It sucks and there doesn't appear to be anything I can do about it.
The rest of the episode was solid-ish. It was an interesting place to bring back Mary, and I like the idea that Alice did all that because she cared about her. I wasn't too crazy about Poison Ivy and Montoya's happy ending, but just because I could have pictured a different and more logical ending for those characters, doesn't mean I can't also picture a much worse one. I'll take totally unsatisfying and like it.
Luke's stuff in the Batwing suit wasn't new but it was interesting.
I mostly liked it. But the ending sucked. ***1/2.
Peacemaker "Monkey Dory"
It was a little much. And that's been all the episodes. A little TOO far. Each one of them. Not a LOT too far. But a little too far. And it's a little much.
I'll say this: The talking gorilla (which was sliced open by a chainsaw) says that James Gunn is a comic book producer who actually understands the only thing that superhero comic books are good for. If nobody's punching talking gorillas, I just don't care. I cared for this episode for a brief shining moment, because it was briefly worthwhile for the reason all comic books are ever briefly worthwhile.
I like the interaction and arguments between the characters, especially when they turn pop-culture related. Chris saying all of the people Economo could have framed instead off the top of his head felt very realistic (as in as if a real person was making it up) because plenty of his choices were stupid, and something a person who is clearly upset wouldn't understand don't fit the parameters of what he's talking about. It was still funny, as was the bit where Peacemaker called him a stud.
A little much. Just a little. ***1/2.
Spidey And His Amazing Friends "Art Attack! / Puppy Pandemonium"
Art Attack!:
I hated that. I'll tell you why. Gobby destroying art is not toddler-cartoon naughty. I find it real-world horrible. And the show gets demerits because I don't think it actually understands that or how serious it is. They have him washing off the paintings at the end as if that's a suitable resolution. You destroy a painting like that, it's actually gone forever. It's bad enough the producers had Gobby do such a horrible crime. They don't seem to actually understand how horrible it is. And for a show teaching morality to toddlers, that's kind of messed up. 0.
Puppy Pandemonium:
No great shakes, but unlike the last cartoon, there was nothing that offended me either. **.
Episode Overall: *.
Blade Runner: Black Lotus "Artificial Souls"
Not great.
I was SO underwhelmed by the swordfight at the beginning. It struck me as amateurish. The visuals in the movies are big budget and high-quality. This show is VERY noticeable in the corners it cuts.
Speaking of which, I was annoyed by all the clips. Because I don't believe they were there to help the Narrative. I think they were a cost-cutting measure to not have to fill an entire 22 minutes with new animation. This cheapo show has made me cynical, I'll admit it. But damn it, I think that's right.
The fight with Jay and Marlowe at the end was better because the character animation of Jay fighting injured was more credible. It's interesting what this show can and can't handle. It can't handle two chicks in a crazy swordfight. A guy limping into an elevator while breathing heavily is something the show nails.
I was unhappy with what happened to Davis. Any reason she needed to be impaled when she was? None that I could see.
My favorite bit of Marlowe and Jay's fight was Marlowe telling Jay he should have ambushed him. So it wasn't sloppy writing or a plot stupidity after all. Jay made a genuine mistake that the writers could point out. Because I thought it was plenty dumb he didn't do that to begin with too.
Parts of this show are all right, and parts of it drive me crazy. **1/2.
Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears A Who!
I made a mistake. That was in my watchlist for a couple of weeks, and I should have watched it last week. I almost certainly still wouldn't have liked it, but I doubt I would feel this level of rage towards it I do on the day I learned about the fact that Blue Sky ripped off and stole the character of Scrat from Ice Age. That story angered me so much, especially because I hadn't heard it until the very day Disney lost their court battles and their rights, and I'm just not willing to give Blue Sky ANY benefit of the doubt anymore. I am pissed off beyond belief.
But it's not like the movie isn't actually totally crappy and a good excuse for me to complain anyways. It totally sucks. I'm just saying if I had saw this last week my critiques might have been more measured. But screw Blue Sky. It is everything wrong with animation. People were super upset Disney closed the studio. After learning the truth about Scrat I truly believe animation is better off. And if movies like this are any indication, popular culture is better off with it gone too.
When did the movie lose me for good? The opening credits. Jim Carrey is Horton? I cannot possibly think of a stupider miscast. Forget the fact that Horton is supposed to be stoic, faithful and noble, and all Carrey plays are buttholes and goofballs. His comedy style is physical. His voice is not distinct or any good for animation. That goes for Steve Carell too. This movie is filled by actors who have no business being anywhere near a cartoon. I would argue the only true "cartoon-worthy" voices in the movie are Will Arnett and Niecy Nash. I don't give two craps about Seth Rogen, and Carol Burnett is utterly wasted too.
The fact that the producers were more interested in getting marquee box office names to lure parents to the theaters, instead of hiring good actors right for the roles says that Blue Sky is a terrible studio, and animation in Hollywood has become terrible in general. It is the worst current practice of animated films and it's become endemic. Animated movies are far worse for it. This is all Shrek and Dreamworks' fault. And now all animation film voicework sucks ass. It pisses me off.
I'm busy dumping on Blue Sky right now (and I might do an essay elsewhere about the Scrat fiasco) but the truth is the main three characters of Ice Age had good voices. John Leguizamo is a good cartoon voice, and the fact that Ray Romano isn't as big a cartoon staple as Mark Hamill or Clancy Brown is a crying shame. Ironically, even Denis Leary's rough voice works for a more serious-minded character like Diego. So it's not like the studio has never done decent casting.
Let me be blunt: I don't love this Dr. Seuss book to begin with. Both Horton AND the Whos had better separate projects elsewhere (in Horton Hatches The Egg and How The Grinch Stole Christmas). The problem is the Kangaroo is such a lousy villain. She supposed to be a stand-in for charismatic authoritarian leaders everywhere, without containing a speck of charisma. What's weird is that Dr. Seuss has created plenty of villains who fit that mold well in The Butter Battle Book, Yertle The Turtle, The Sneetches. But I find the Kangaroo sucks because her wants and needs are stupid and make no sense. I read an online article called "The Basic Laws Of Human Stupidity" recently, and she's checks off all the boxes there. So I find her more annoying than anything else.
Man, that was outright awful. I'm pissed at how bad that was, and how apparently Blue Sky has been skating on crappy movies and thievery for decades. Screw them. This movie sucked. *.
Star Trek: Prodigy "A Moral Star, Part 1"
That felt very much unfinished, and I was dying to know what came next. In other words, a successful first part.
The Diviner is turning out to be one of those rare Star Trek villains like Gul Dukat who actually has no redeeming qualities. Those specific baddies are unusual, and I confess I like being allowed to hate them.
I'm curious what his beef with Starfleet is. Must have something to do with Captain Chakotay's last mission. It would be weird if it didn't.
Can't wait for next week. ****1/2.
DC's Legends Of Tomorrow "The Fixed Point"
This episode made me a believer.
Honestly, this is one of the best premises the show has ever come up with. What's interesting to me is that I was dying to see this week based on how last week ended. But I never predicted it would be this great. And I certainly never predicted it would be this great for the reasons it was. There were surface things in the episode I didn't like, but unlike most weeks they worked out like gangbusters.
When I saw Zari and Spooner get together I was like, "This is going to be this show at its most insufferable, and turn Spooner into a gossipy sidekick for Zari because that's how nonsense on this show actually works." In reality, Zari finds out and realizes Spooner is asexual, which is very rare for any kind of television, and she explains to Spooner what the notion is, and Spooner bonds with her because she realizes she's not crazy and unusual after all. And I like that.
Similarly, Gwyn both annoys me and breaks my heart with his religious fundamentalism. The thing that breaks my heart is the fact that unlike almost every hypocritical fundamentalist who is gay and refuses to admit it, Gwyn takes penance for his feelings very seriously. He's actually worried about what God thinks instead of worrying about what his religious community would think. I'm not for a second suggesting there would be less gay fundamentalists if they behaved like Gwyn. I will suggest there would be a lot more self-denial and celibacy if those gay fundamentalists weren't just paying lip-service to God and weren't actually total hypocrites in their words and actions.
Thanwne shocked me, but he shouldn't have, because I heard Matt Lescher was coming back. But his role as a redeemed good guy surprised me, and impressed me that the Thawne on this specific tangent has gained enough wisdom to want to do the right thing by time, and protect it instead of mess with it. It's rewarding to me as a viewer who watched and enjoyed Lescher on this show, and is getting increasingly frustrated and disgusted with how The Flash uses Tom Cavanaugh's version on that show. It's precisely the fact that that version and that show have gotten so off-the-rails that I appreciate this show taking a different tack with the actor they are loyal to. And yeah, it's way more interesting.
The Fixed Point bar reminds me of the way station Sam Beckett visited in the last episode of Quantum Leap "Mirror Image". A way-station bar for time-travelers is a great idea, and I like the idea that a popular spot involves the most intractable fixed point of all. And I like that Sarah is allowed to try over and over again because she can't be killed. And I'm thinking that an Immortal time traveler like say, Vandal Savage might have had an easier assignment in breaking the fixed point than everybody else here. As it was, both her inability to die, and the clockstopper Maguffin, give her an edge nobody else has. Even by the end the snotty kids are rooting for her too. It felt weirdly empowering, especially figuring out it's not Time killing people, but a person. It's a really cool idea.
If the show was this every week I'd never complain about it. And I seem to recall the show was often like this in Season 3, its best season. But it's been awhile since it has been that thoroughly enjoyable. I missed loving this show, and while I'm not foolish enough to expect it every week past this going forward, I did enjoy feeling that way for this episode. *****.
Batwoman "Toxic"
I didn't like the ending because it strikes me as very Berlanti (in a bad way). It reminds me unpleasantly of Titans, which is sadly where I think this show is going next. It sucks and there doesn't appear to be anything I can do about it.
The rest of the episode was solid-ish. It was an interesting place to bring back Mary, and I like the idea that Alice did all that because she cared about her. I wasn't too crazy about Poison Ivy and Montoya's happy ending, but just because I could have pictured a different and more logical ending for those characters, doesn't mean I can't also picture a much worse one. I'll take totally unsatisfying and like it.
Luke's stuff in the Batwing suit wasn't new but it was interesting.
I mostly liked it. But the ending sucked. ***1/2.
Peacemaker "Monkey Dory"
It was a little much. And that's been all the episodes. A little TOO far. Each one of them. Not a LOT too far. But a little too far. And it's a little much.
I'll say this: The talking gorilla (which was sliced open by a chainsaw) says that James Gunn is a comic book producer who actually understands the only thing that superhero comic books are good for. If nobody's punching talking gorillas, I just don't care. I cared for this episode for a brief shining moment, because it was briefly worthwhile for the reason all comic books are ever briefly worthwhile.
I like the interaction and arguments between the characters, especially when they turn pop-culture related. Chris saying all of the people Economo could have framed instead off the top of his head felt very realistic (as in as if a real person was making it up) because plenty of his choices were stupid, and something a person who is clearly upset wouldn't understand don't fit the parameters of what he's talking about. It was still funny, as was the bit where Peacemaker called him a stud.
A little much. Just a little. ***1/2.
Spidey And His Amazing Friends "Art Attack! / Puppy Pandemonium"
Art Attack!:
I hated that. I'll tell you why. Gobby destroying art is not toddler-cartoon naughty. I find it real-world horrible. And the show gets demerits because I don't think it actually understands that or how serious it is. They have him washing off the paintings at the end as if that's a suitable resolution. You destroy a painting like that, it's actually gone forever. It's bad enough the producers had Gobby do such a horrible crime. They don't seem to actually understand how horrible it is. And for a show teaching morality to toddlers, that's kind of messed up. 0.
Puppy Pandemonium:
No great shakes, but unlike the last cartoon, there was nothing that offended me either. **.
Episode Overall: *.
Blade Runner: Black Lotus "Artificial Souls"
Not great.
I was SO underwhelmed by the swordfight at the beginning. It struck me as amateurish. The visuals in the movies are big budget and high-quality. This show is VERY noticeable in the corners it cuts.
Speaking of which, I was annoyed by all the clips. Because I don't believe they were there to help the Narrative. I think they were a cost-cutting measure to not have to fill an entire 22 minutes with new animation. This cheapo show has made me cynical, I'll admit it. But damn it, I think that's right.
The fight with Jay and Marlowe at the end was better because the character animation of Jay fighting injured was more credible. It's interesting what this show can and can't handle. It can't handle two chicks in a crazy swordfight. A guy limping into an elevator while breathing heavily is something the show nails.
I was unhappy with what happened to Davis. Any reason she needed to be impaled when she was? None that I could see.
My favorite bit of Marlowe and Jay's fight was Marlowe telling Jay he should have ambushed him. So it wasn't sloppy writing or a plot stupidity after all. Jay made a genuine mistake that the writers could point out. Because I thought it was plenty dumb he didn't do that to begin with too.
Parts of this show are all right, and parts of it drive me crazy. **1/2.