"Carmen Sandiego" Season One Review (Spoilers)
Also reviews for the season premiere of Star Trek: Discovery, and the latest episodes of DC Super Hero Girls Super Shorts, Gotham, Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Transformers: Rescue Bots Academy, The Orville, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Good Place, The Blacklist, and Blindspot.
Carmen Sandiego "Becoming Carmen Sandiego: Part 1"
Promising. As of now the writing is only so-so, but it could become very interesting very quickly. The voice work is top-notch, and the animation style is similar to Samurai Jack and Tangled: The Series. While it isn't as good or fluid as either of those two series, Carmen's character design is especially striking in that style. The long red coat and hat simply WORK.
Professor Maelstrom is totally Palpatine.
I liked the Inspector questioning why a master thief dresses brightly and purposefully drops clues. For a kid playing those games at school, that was part of the fun. Here the show is suggesting it's part of if not the plan, then perhaps the mystique.
The first episode is not education-heavy, which strikes me as a bit of a shame. That being said, I definitely noticed a LOT of educational tidbits about various countries, math and geography sort of mentioned during the missions. And that's fine. Futurama is not an educational series either. But it's where I learned most of my math theory and science anyways. That is the value of this show throwing in the occasional factoid.
Solid opener. ****.
Carmen Sandiego "Becoming Carmen Sandiego: Part 2"
I see the similarities to this show and She-Ra And The Princesses Of Power immediately. It's basically a good but naive chick raised by an evil organization whose coming of age story involves her turning against their evil and rebelling. Alias is the grandmother of that idea, although Sydney Bristow must take down SD-6 from the inside, while She-Ra and Carmen are allowed the privilege of opposing the Horde and VILE openly.
I love the elevator playing the Muzak version of the "Where On Earth?" theme song.
Chief, huh? This show knows what it's doing.
Shadow-San unsheathing the sword is totally the Samurai Jack moment.
I love the subtext that Carmen not only stole the coat and hat, but that she stole it from another thief. Good stuff there.
Good conclusion to the premiere. ****.
Carmen Sandiego "The Sticky Rice Caper"
Who are these Zach and Ivy characters who popped out of nowhere but that we are expected to pretend like they were there the entire time?
When Ivy says all of her machines are girls because they are awesome, I realize exactly which side of the gender war this show falls on. I approve (not that the show needs my approval for that).
The ending with Crackle and the visor in the room with the chair and shackles was creepy. It reminded me of that weird room in Lost and the brainwashing scene in A Clockwork Orange.
Since we actually visited a location this week, the episode did a little educational travelogue of Indonesia which looks to be the normal for the show past the pilot. And this is what the show should be doing.
Dora the Fedora. Excellent burn from Tigress. I bet the writers where practically jumping out their skins in excitement to give us that joke. It WAS clever.
The main title (seen in its entirety for the first time here) is noirish and stylish. I like it very much.
I don't much like Zach or Ivy (they remind me unpleasantly of too many Massholes I know) but the episode was still good. ***1/2.
Carmen Sandiego "The Fishy Doubloon Caper"
Fitting that the Chief is an older black woman who looks a bit like a blond Lynne Thigpen. Good to hear the name ACME again too.
The underwater vistas in the episode were absolutely gorgeous.
Zach doesn't know how auctions work? Which the exception of Player all of Carmen's friends are useless.
I forget if Carmen was from Brazil or Argentina on the earlier series or games. This episode didn't make it much clearer either.
Pretty cool. ***1/2.
Carmen Sandiego "The Duke Of Vermeer Caper"
As long as we are on the subject of affecting accents, I am 100% positive neither Zach nor Ivy's voice actors are from Boston. It's not like they have the cadences wrong. But the way they speak them sound forced, and as if their tongue is struggling a bit with the dialect. In fact, the saying is "Pahk the cah in Harvahd yahd." As a Masshole, Zach should have corrected Carmen on that. That is a saying we all know.
I don't actually have a Boston accent myself (not all Massholes, or even all Bostonians do), but many of the people I know have it. I am very able to recognize when it's natural and when it's fake.
Here's a question I've always wondered. Does caviar actually taste good? I can't imagine so. It probably only so expensive because it's difficult to acquire. But it strikes me as something people eat for status rather than to enjoy. Which strikes me as the weirdest and most foolish reason to eat something. I get there are foodies and restaurant critics out there who sneer at the commoner's palate. But you don't see me eating fish eggs. I'll live with their sneers. A "refined palate" always struck me someone being able to teach themselves to enjoy something that most people think is nasty. Which a weird gift to have, much less want. I don't understand why food critics are as in-demand as they are. Their entire shtick is to review food their readers either wouldn't like or couldn't afford. I could be wrong. But "fish eggs" tells me I'm not.
Interesting episode. ****.
Carmen Sandiego "The Opera In The Outback Caper"
Appropriate that the opera was "Carmen".
I really liked the wordless fight on the stagelights during the opera.
Crackle's amnesia explains the brainwashing room and the visor. It might also explain why there is so little information about VILE out there in the first place.
Hat! Hat! He said hat! Sheesh!
I liked the Number 2 joke.
I think the episode got subliminal messages wrong. It's a cartoon, and one for kids at that, but so far most of the spyjinx on the show have been grounded compared to other kids adventure cartoons. But a subliminal message is only effective if you aren't aware of it. It's not the same as being hypnotized. In fact, once you are aware the message exists, it's no longer subliminal, and no longer effective, at least not consciously. But I accept a kiddie cartoon using it as a form of mind control simply because it's a kiddie cartoon. But most of the other episodes before this were a little more real-world based.
At first I was annoyed that Ivy did so well in her fight with La Chevre. I was like "He's a trained thief, who learned martial arts from professionals. He should be doing better than this." And then he wins and leaves her for dead, and I weirdly said, "That's more like it."
For the record, neither Ivy nor Zach should be able to play the dumb bystander act with VILE operatives for that much longer. That VILE STILL doesn't seem to know who they are, or that they even exist, says their skills and reach are not as notorious as advertised.
Am I the only one who was grossed out that Zach put the doctor's headphone earbuds in his ears? I mean, that strikes me as about as rude and intimately presumptuous as drinking out of a stranger's mug or taking a bite out of their sandwich. It's also weirdly gross. Maybe when headphones were actually headphones it wouldn't be. But now that they are ear buds, I'd just as soon share mine as I would my toothbrush.
Interesting episode. Gave me a lot to think about. ****.
Carmen Sandiego "The Chasing Paper Caper"
The chase music at the end was boss.
I think Paper Star's design is a bit too clownish to be legitimately scary. But her off singsong voice and skipping in the dark creep me out anyways. And when she says she likes the red on Carmen's outfit because it will hide the stains I was like "Oh, wow. This chick's for real!"
I was unhappy that Carmen's hat was ruined. I suspected a continuity problem for the next episode. I was right.
ACME never should have hired Devaneux. True, Carmen was the one who lost the ACME card to Paper Star, but it's the Inspector's fault for losing it to Carmen, and making her aware of the existence of ACME. And frankly, it was not Carmen's responsibility to hold onto it. When Carmen says "ACME, huh?" I was like, "It's lucky he's wrong about Carmen and she's actually on his side." And then at the end it doesn't even matter that he is. ACME is compromised anyways. He's a total liability.
Pretty good outing. ****.
Carmen Sandiego "The Lucky Cat Caper"
If Devaneux isn't fired by the end of the season, I'll be unhappy. He lost his keycard, not only noticed it just now, and STILL hasn't reported it? Dude is a menace. He reminds me a bit of a more mean-spirited Agent West from The Zeta Project. The difference is that West was harmless. Yeah, he usually was the guy who made it so that Zeta accidentally got away. But he also never accidentally helped the bad guys, which the Inspector has done more than his fair share of on this show. He's what would happen if West's incompetence had real-world consequences.
I always assumed West was never fired because he might have been Wally West's ne'er do well black sheep nephew, and being related to the Flash offered him career protection. But Devaneux is what happens in real life when people are bad at their jobs. Julia is no Agent Lee in covering his butt (although she serves the same function as Lee did to Agent Bennet in theorizing that Zeta wasn't actually dangerous) so he doesn't even have an effective babysitter to mitigate his damage. I'm starting to wonder if that means Julia should be fired too. But she IS pretty good at making observations, although it strikes me that all of the observations she has made that have so far impressed the Chief are actually, well, obvious, at least to the audience. I do not share the Chief's opinion that she's a great detective. She's only not terrible, and only in comparison to Devaneux.
The car chase was exciting and all, but the real tension for me was the slow-motion theft on the wharf. What I like about Carmen's missions is that they aren't effortless for her. She always wins, but she always has to work for the victory. And that is not only a good message, but it makes things more exciting for us too.
It's interesting that Shadow-San's empty coat is Carmen's biggest secret hang-up. I like that she used her rare moment of face-time with Shadow-San to try and get him to admit the truth, and then when he wouldn't, she told him she no longer needed his approval anyways. Stealing a stamp from a boot is more impressive than lifting a dollar from a coat anyways.
Ha! I knew the damaged hat would be a problem this episode. They never explained if Carmen repaired it or simply got a new one. They ignored the last episode about that instead which is why I think they shouldn't have done it in the first place.
Good episode though. ****.
Carmen Sandiego "The French Connection Caper"
That was amazing. I didn't have a solid opinion over whether or not Coach Brant was secretly allied with Carmen or not before this, because it could have gone either way, although I did expect to learn her true allegiances in this episode. I was a little disappointed that it turns out Carmen's love for her was one-sided. For approximately 10 seconds before Shadow-San saves Carmen's life, and reveals he was the one secretly looking out for her.
Where does Shadow-San go from here? If he's brave, he'll go back to VILE and under deep cover. If he's smart, he'll look for ACME. If he's both, he'll find ACME first (and quickly) before going under deep cover.
I have to admit, I'm disappointed with ACME. Especially since they used a Lynne Thigpen stand-in the for Chief. Not only does she get Carmen completely wrong, but she loses the season in every way you can think of by VILE learning what ACME was. She better hope Coach Brant is dead. If not, they are completely hosed and lost their biggest edge.
It's interesting, the drunken seeming argument in the mirror the Inspector had with himself made me me sympathetic to Devaneux for the first time ever. And I wound up having more sympathy for him than the Chief by the end of the episode. Simply because as wrong and stupid as he is, him standing up to the torture by singing the French anthem says he is putting his skin in the game, which is more than I can say for the Chief. We haven't even met her in person yet. She does everything via hologram and refuses to get her own hands dirty. As infuriating as the Inspector's stupidity is, he's not a coward, and puts himself in danger willingly. Chief strikes me as a manipulator and a chicken. And it bothers me that I think that way about the Lynne Thigpen stand-in. That's the one thing in the finale I regret.
But everything else was amazing. People talk a LOT of smack about Duane Capizzi for The Batman and Superman: Brainiac Attacks, most of it deserved. But the dude has rehabilitated himself in my mind with both this show and Transformers Prime. This isn't as amazing as Prime. But it someday could be. And I look forward to seeing if it is. *****.
Star Trek: Discovery "Brother"
I don't know. I can't make heads or tails of that. And that frustrates me because my mind can usually play Trekkie lore like a fiddle, but I didn't understand what was going on. I didn't understand the mission. I didn't understand the significance of why the Enterprise was there. I didn't understand the ending with Burnham in Spock's quarters. And I didn't understand her vision of the red angel. One of the specific reasons I sometimes subscribe to CBS All Access is that Star Trek is one of my few fandoms that I have a pretty good handle on (the other being Twin Peaks). And I didn't understand what was going on at all which again frustrates me.
Why was Wilson Cruz billed as a regular cast member in the beginning when he only briefly cameoed on a screen, and his character is actually dead? What's more perplexing is that Cruz was NOT a series regular last year. What is going on?
I feel that for every step forward Discovery makes to fix its canon mistakes (such as explaining the uniforms) it takes another two steps back in continuity messes. It's bad enough there are other aliens in Starfleet. They should never, EVER be on the Enterprise at this point in time. And it was a new character we'd never seen or heard of before so the series seemed to make that particular mistake for no reason.
One of the reasons Spock had such a hard time on the original series is that Starfleet was, yes, segregated. There were Vulcan ships, but they had no human crew members. And Spock was the only Vulcan on a human ship in the entire fleet. I can excuse it on Discovery (the ship) because that ship's mission is top secret, and nobody in Kirk's time outside of Spock probably ever heard of it. (And the rest of the original Enterprise crew didn't actually seem too intellectually curious about what the rest of Starfleet was actually up to at the time). But you can't do that for the Enterprise. It's just wrong. Spock is an outsider character in Star Trek specifically because Starfleet is segregated. Honestly, I don't know what Gene Roddenberry was thinking with that. I think he just wanted Spock to be the first and most famous Vulcan in Starfleet history without thinking through the horrible implications of aliens never sharing the same ship before him. But in hindsight, it totally works as an allegory for Jim Crow. And I think the original series becomes a LOT less powerful when this show tries to take that allegory away, simply because modern audiences don't care if there are other aliens in Starfleet. Well, if the producers felt that way, they shouldn't have set the show in this time period. They are messing up the canon of Star Trek, for good and ill. Some of it like ignoring Turnabout Intruder for Phillipa Georgiou is good. This is bad. The segregation and casual racism of his crewmates (particularly Bones) was a serious reason Spock struggled. You can't take that away from him 60 years later. That's not fair to him or us.
I imagine there will be certain Trekkies dismayed by Youthful Spock's portrayal as a total monster to Sarek and Burnham. You know what? That tracks. The stuff where Pike was quoting the wise things Spock said at the end was SO Spock. The dude was smart and insightful around his crewmates, but he treated his own family like garbage. Journel To Babel is for some insane reason beloved in Trekdom, but Spock's disgusting behavior there makes it completely appalling to me. I hate that episode. But because of it I can tell that Spock is totally the kid who creates a holographic dragon to scare his new human foster sister before slamming the door in her face. The only person in Star Trek possibly a worse relative to his kin than Spock was Worf as a father to Alexander. No, I take that back. Spock's probably worse. Spock as a son to Sarek and Amanda, refusing to give a life saving blood transfusion to his father because he had bridge busywork, shows that Spock is a total ahole to people who profess to love him. On a very real level I hated the character for that, especially because both Sarek and Amanda were so sympathetic and understanding to his struggles. He slams the door in the face of his entire family with his actions.
It's ironic Sarek wanted Burnham to teach Spock empathy. Because Sarek has ALWAYS been far more human than Spock. Even with a new unheard of character in the mix, that tracks.
For the record, Ethan Peck sounds a LOT more like Leonard Nimoy than Zachary Quinto ever did. Honestly, without that deep, gravelly voice, I'm starting to think Quinto was actually miscast. Chris Pine certainly was.
Stamets remains my favorite character simply for being rude and wonderful at the same time to Tilly. She was being a nuisance, but he pointed it out to her in a funny and delightful way instead of losing his cr*p over the stuff she was painfully bringing up, and making him think about what he rather wouldn't. It bordered on "I love you but shut up," and him making Tilly repeat that she needs to stop talking is so wonderful and done in a manner of pure caring and empathy, and yes, love. And that's why I love Stamets, or at least the Stamets who got a crazy high on warp spores.
Pike suggesting things were going to be a little more fun aboard Discovery this year was almost meta. That was the entire reason Captain Lorca sucked. But Captain Lorca was secretly evil so it worked for that. Let's get some chairs in a room where evil no longer stands. Okay?
I wish I liked the episode better. But I didn't understand it. And I think part of me understands Star Trek and what is appropriate for the franchise better than the producers do. And it's really hard to feel so alienated from this series while that is true. I wish it weren't. We'll see what happens this season. ***.
DC Super Hero Girls Super Shorts "Get To Know Wonder Woman"
I have literally only seen this show's Wonder Woman via a minute and a half clip, and I already love her more than I ever did the other show's Diana. She's arch, severe, and real character. That will make the funny stuff (such as with the cake) land better. The worst thing the Shea Fontana series did was treat Diana as the high school prom queen. That ain't Diana's jam and never was. I expect good things from both this show and this character. *****.
Gotham "Penguin, Our Hero"
I am a little sick of adaptations of Harley Quinn being lethally dangerous. This version is particular much more vicious than Paul Dini ever intended.
But it wasn't a terrible episode otherwise by any means. It's interesting that so far this season hasn't delivered ANY terrible episodes yet. It's never gone this long without outright sucking before. I don't expect it to last but it is unusual enough to be worth mentioning. ****1/2.
Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "The Evil League Of Mutants"
Explain something to me. How is it that a show with 2-D animation looks so much better and amazing than a super expensive CGI one that looked empty and lifeless? I do not get why this show is so good and why 2012 made things so freaking hard.
People are going to go into conniptions over the new origin and Lou Jitsu, but those are the same people who believe Leo is someday going to be leader. This series (wisely in my mind) is steering almost completely clear of the original canon. Almost all of it. While that will probably disappoint many fans, the truth is as far as 80's franchises go, we've had more interpretations of Turtles than most. Part of the reason Ghostbusters: Answer the Call and ThunderCats Roar created the controversy they did is because we had gone through such a dry spell with both of those franchises. Once 2012 ended we got this show. Once this show ends, we'll invariably get another. And it's for this reason that they don't actually need to follow the canon, and I am not upset with them not doing so.
The Gilbert and Sullivan song was amazing. Did John Cena sing that himself? If so he did a great job.
The more this show refuses to get bogged down by what has come before, the more I like it. 2012's problem (or rather one of the hundreds of its problems) is that it tried to get to everything. It's much more enjoyable (and probably easier to write) if they just don't bother. The results speak for themselves. *****.
Transformers: Rescue Bots Academy "The Boy Who Cried Rescue"
My problem: This show is geared towards preschoolers. I understand the "Boy Who Cried Wolf" moral is for them. But it should NEVER be a factor in a school where robots learn how to rescue people properly. "No false alarms" is the first lesson you learn. In fact you should probably know it before you enroll in the school if the subject interests you enough to do so. What is a valuable lesson for the toddlers at home makes the bots seem incredibly unprofessional and bad at their jobs. And while their mission involves saving lives, that's a huge problem for me. I don't think a victim in a fire or a hurricane should ever thought of as a conduit to each bots' personal growth via mistakes, and it's to the show's credit that most of the big eff-ups have only involved the Bots so far. But this is NOT a premise to have the characters learn preschool lessons. This specific premise would be best suited to giving the kids at home proper safety tips. That's all the show should be doing with the Bot characters. If they need some dumb kid drama, that's what adding humans are for. I didn't like the unprofessionalism of Robots In Disguise either, but that was shown as a character defect mainly between two characters. Here the entire team is treating their training like a kids sport. It's not just Hotshot. It's not just Hotshot at all.
I like to think that we have made great strides in children's animation since I was a kid, particularly in the previously awful Transformers franchise. But the karaoke joke says that bad and stupid writing is something every generation of kids TV is going to have to suffer through, whether grown up TV no longer tolerates something as dumb as Murphy Brown or not. Things would probably go better in that regard if kids did NOT so reflexively gravitate towards cr*p. Because they do, producers are not afraid to give them what they want. The high-quality stuff like JLU, and Gargoyles, and even Transformers Prime are things smart kids DID enjoy and watch. But the really popular stuff? The stuff that started fads? With the notable exception of Sesame Street (which started in the 1960's for Pete's sake)? All garbage. Which is why this show is what it is, and nobody bothers to try. I am certain the writer of this episode is smart enough to come up with a joke that is better and less painful than that karaoke line. But seeing what passes for popular nowadays I am sure their mindset was "Why bother?" Part of me doesn't blame them. Part of me is mad this show sucks, while Transformers Prime was amazing. But I also know this show will probably wind up more popular than Prime ever was with the target audience. That saddens me, but it's something I'll have to get over to be able to watch this show at all. **1/2.
Transformers: Rescue Bot Academy "Mount Botmore"
In which I break my promise two sentences later in the same review. I cannot accept that episode. I liked the small joke of Heatwave noticing his hat was too small on the statue, not caring, but saying it in a tone that says it will bug him from now on because he'll always notice it. I actually loved that, to be honest. It was an observational moment made stronger by a subtle voice performance. That's good television, whether it's made for toddlers or not.
It was all downhill from there.
Despite Hotshot over and over learning his lesson in previous episodes, and promising to listen to the lessons taught from now on, he does it again, and breaks an entire dam endangering humans. The show halfheartedly says at the end of the episode that because of his actions they realized the dam was weak at all so Good Work Team, but the dam probably would have held if Hotshot hadn't carved his stupid head in the mountain. He deserves to be expelled for that, not praised. The show is treading dangerous message and morality waters as far as I am concerned.
And the head rolling bothered me. It didn't JUST roll down a hill. It rolled down a slightly lowering slope too, which is stupid because the head is NOT a perfectly round sphere, and objects that are NOT actually spheres or shaped like circles, wheels or cylinders do not actually roll. It's so stupid. And then they roll the head into position to supposedly block the hole in the dyke? Even if the head were perfectly round, that is not a mathematical problem to be solved by kids on the fly, much less successfully. Even if I were to accept the cartoon logic that it was SOMEHOW plausible, the truth is that one off calculation means it smashes through the dam instead. And Hotshot is not the dude who strikes me as the guy who comes up with the precise calculations. It's basically cartoon nonsense.
Which is poison to the entire premise. A rescue themed kid show should be giving helpful tips about safety and about kids being aware of their surroundings. It can't do that as long as it refuses to conform to reality. As long as the solution sounds good to Wile E Coyote, except it works, the show is failing its very premise, and the exact thing it should be teaching kids about. I've seen Elena Of Avalor, a show geared towards a similar audience, do excellent legitimate safety lessons for kids, so I know it can be done with writers who actually care about their show and the kids at home, which these writers clearly do not. It's the fact that a safety themed kids show doesn't seem to care about its messages to kids which is why I think it sucks, and why the adults who write it are doing more harm than good.
Honestly, I hate to call it this early, especially because I can see this developing quite a sprog following, and being popular with little kids, and lasting for seasons on end. But it's a bad show, and a bad show for kids to watch. If I had kids, I wouldn't let them watch it. It gives them the wrong ideas about safety, which is pretty much the absolute worst thing a show of this specific nature can do. This early in the run, and I'm already declaring this show a failure. A dud of an episode (and a series). 0.
The Orville "Nothing Left On Earth Excepting Fishes"
That was nice. Really. You don't expect a Billy Joel montage at the end of a Krill episode but that's why it was nice.
The stuff between Ed and Talaya was fantastic. I love that she actually liked Raiders, but confuses the Nazis for the good guys. I think I understand why Ed let her go better than Amanda did. It wasn't simply because he wanted better Union / Krill relations. That is a longshot bet. I'm betting deep down he feels super guilty for killing her brother, and believes this makes them square. I am not sure it does. In fact, considering the brother WAS about to commit genocide, I'm not even sure this is a debt actually owed. But I kind of would have liked the series to point out that it's possible Ed only let Tayala go for personal reasons.
My favorite moment was the look Amanda gave Bortus upon him saying that Malloy would fail. That was a look of half-resignation / half "No s-word, Sherlock" and she is struggling with deciding on which she is feeling. That was a cool moment.
Nice episode. And I mean that in the best way. ***1/2.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine "Hitchcock & Scully"
Oh, my God! The "Take my breath away" moment at the end of the episode was so hilarious. I love the idea that Hitchcock and Scully used to be young studs and every bit the bad@$$ cops Jake wants to be. I also love that they are happy about their punishment of desk duty.
Gina's idea of a smiling villain is the Verizon guy who now works for Sprint. You know what? That's a good call. Paul gives me the creeps. Probably because he looks so much like Jared from Subway.
I love Rosa being concerned that "hoot" is now a thing. Honestly, that concerns me too.
You do NOT want to be with Hitchcock and Scully in an interrogation room after lunchtime. Especially after Scully has eaten cheese. Because he's lactose intolerant.
That ending had me rolling. One of the funniest things the show ever did. ****1/2.
The Good Place "Chidi Sees The Time-Knife"
I love the judge saying "So apparently I'm black. Wow, they REALLY do not like black women down there." Maya Rudolph is absolutely perfect in this role.
Speaking of which I love Sean torturing Shakespeare by reading him the script to the Entourage movie.
Return of Derek. Still a doof if you ask me.
Great episode. ****.
The Blacklist "The Pawnbrokers"
I found the premise a bit ludicrous, but I was willing to give it a shot as it was going along. The verdict? Red's "Plan" as it were, wasn't actually a Xanatos Gambit. It was Xanatos Roulette, or more like Xanatos 50-Car-Pile-Up. In the series' defense, Red never pretended it was a sure thing. But the fact that it worked was more coincidental than genius.
I regret the guy who stole the intelligence was killed when he was. A guy that dumb, who gambles 200 grand on a single hand of poker, who goes back to the Pawnbrokers demanding the drives back without the money deserves to be publicly shamed. He also deserved to die for treason, but I dislike that no-one will ever really know exactly how stupid he is unless the Pawnbroker who survived confesses every aspect of their crimes that they aren't actually on the hook for. I sort of think this is the guy who would actually DESERVE a little side-eye from Liz, Ressler and Navabi.
I like the moment where Ressler is trying to figure out how to tell the guy his wife died. But she was murderer. It's not like she didn't know what she was getting into, and neither did this guy. This is the life they chose to lead. My sympathy for him isn't limited, it's actually nonexistent.
I had reservations of Red cautiously looking around the prison at the beginning, which is one of the reasons I wasn't sure I'd like the episode. But once he lured the mouse, I got it. My initial objection is that Red Reddington as we know him, does not object to harsh living conditions. Being in them for long stretches at a time, was a huge part of his job earlier in his career. In fact, when Mr. Kaplan ruined him, Red was borderline excited at being around average and rundown places, and thought of it as a new adventure. I grant that prison is something else entirely, but I didn't like the idea that he was squicked out or afraid to get his hands dirty.
Him luring the rat tells me he's just getting accustomed to his surroundings, and sizing up what advantages are available to him, which IS in character. Frankly the biggest thing I objected to in hindsight is that knowing what we know now, Red gave Liz the Blacklister case far too early in the episode to actually be believable. But as I already said, the episode was already full-stop ridiculous anyways.
And of course Red banged that guy's mother. Not his wife. That was be too easy, and not humiliating enough for him. It HAD to be his mother. Good stuff.
Liz's sister said something interesting (but true) that I'm just going to fault the show for. Because this is true, the show is failing. When Liz says even if Red wins, at least it brought them together the sister says, "That's not enough." And you know what? The fact that she believes that says Liz AND the show have never treated her like an actual sister. I know and remember the name Nadia from Alias by heart and always will. She didn't turn out to be as important to the canon as we hoped, but the family drama was such a huge part of Sydney Bristow's life that I remember her as well as Dixon, Weiss, Francie, Will, and Marshall, and the other bit players on that show. This is "The Sister's" second season on the show, and I still can't remember her name. That is wrong, and that is on this show. There has not been enough bonding or family drama between her and Liz and Red. Barely any in fact. And the fact that there's been none so far this season borders on a travesty.
But as ludicrous as this was, I enjoyed it (more or less). Prison Break: The Series was far stupider about the same subject, and I still shut off my brain and watched that. I'll live with this. ***1/2.
Blindspot "The Big Reveal"
I loved Rich and Jane's heart to heart in the van. His "Go get 'em" speech was great too.
That stupid son. If he hadn't called his girlfriend they would have gotten the cure. The FBI wasn't blameless either. They should have confiscated his phone or at least had him under supervision.
Been a while since I've seen Patricia Richardson in anything. She still looks like a million bucks. Although it almost seems like she's slumming on this show. She was a big star in the 90's and this show can't even give her a Special Guest Star credit? What the heck?
The mushy stuff between Weller and Jane had me repeating "Oh God. Kill me now." So painfully stupid and badly written.
Knew Zapata was scamming the bad guys, but I think it was long overdue to finally learn how the scam worked. Reed never forgiving her feels to me like a hackneyed plot turn to complicate their ship. He could have just as easily forgiven her with the information he learned. Instead the show is just jerking us around. Honestly, if Zapata weren't on such thin legal ice she should have called him on it. I might have anyways in her place.
Average week with a touch of lame. ***.
Carmen Sandiego "Becoming Carmen Sandiego: Part 1"
Promising. As of now the writing is only so-so, but it could become very interesting very quickly. The voice work is top-notch, and the animation style is similar to Samurai Jack and Tangled: The Series. While it isn't as good or fluid as either of those two series, Carmen's character design is especially striking in that style. The long red coat and hat simply WORK.
Professor Maelstrom is totally Palpatine.
I liked the Inspector questioning why a master thief dresses brightly and purposefully drops clues. For a kid playing those games at school, that was part of the fun. Here the show is suggesting it's part of if not the plan, then perhaps the mystique.
The first episode is not education-heavy, which strikes me as a bit of a shame. That being said, I definitely noticed a LOT of educational tidbits about various countries, math and geography sort of mentioned during the missions. And that's fine. Futurama is not an educational series either. But it's where I learned most of my math theory and science anyways. That is the value of this show throwing in the occasional factoid.
Solid opener. ****.
Carmen Sandiego "Becoming Carmen Sandiego: Part 2"
I see the similarities to this show and She-Ra And The Princesses Of Power immediately. It's basically a good but naive chick raised by an evil organization whose coming of age story involves her turning against their evil and rebelling. Alias is the grandmother of that idea, although Sydney Bristow must take down SD-6 from the inside, while She-Ra and Carmen are allowed the privilege of opposing the Horde and VILE openly.
I love the elevator playing the Muzak version of the "Where On Earth?" theme song.
Chief, huh? This show knows what it's doing.
Shadow-San unsheathing the sword is totally the Samurai Jack moment.
I love the subtext that Carmen not only stole the coat and hat, but that she stole it from another thief. Good stuff there.
Good conclusion to the premiere. ****.
Carmen Sandiego "The Sticky Rice Caper"
Who are these Zach and Ivy characters who popped out of nowhere but that we are expected to pretend like they were there the entire time?
When Ivy says all of her machines are girls because they are awesome, I realize exactly which side of the gender war this show falls on. I approve (not that the show needs my approval for that).
The ending with Crackle and the visor in the room with the chair and shackles was creepy. It reminded me of that weird room in Lost and the brainwashing scene in A Clockwork Orange.
Since we actually visited a location this week, the episode did a little educational travelogue of Indonesia which looks to be the normal for the show past the pilot. And this is what the show should be doing.
Dora the Fedora. Excellent burn from Tigress. I bet the writers where practically jumping out their skins in excitement to give us that joke. It WAS clever.
The main title (seen in its entirety for the first time here) is noirish and stylish. I like it very much.
I don't much like Zach or Ivy (they remind me unpleasantly of too many Massholes I know) but the episode was still good. ***1/2.
Carmen Sandiego "The Fishy Doubloon Caper"
Fitting that the Chief is an older black woman who looks a bit like a blond Lynne Thigpen. Good to hear the name ACME again too.
The underwater vistas in the episode were absolutely gorgeous.
Zach doesn't know how auctions work? Which the exception of Player all of Carmen's friends are useless.
I forget if Carmen was from Brazil or Argentina on the earlier series or games. This episode didn't make it much clearer either.
Pretty cool. ***1/2.
Carmen Sandiego "The Duke Of Vermeer Caper"
As long as we are on the subject of affecting accents, I am 100% positive neither Zach nor Ivy's voice actors are from Boston. It's not like they have the cadences wrong. But the way they speak them sound forced, and as if their tongue is struggling a bit with the dialect. In fact, the saying is "Pahk the cah in Harvahd yahd." As a Masshole, Zach should have corrected Carmen on that. That is a saying we all know.
I don't actually have a Boston accent myself (not all Massholes, or even all Bostonians do), but many of the people I know have it. I am very able to recognize when it's natural and when it's fake.
Here's a question I've always wondered. Does caviar actually taste good? I can't imagine so. It probably only so expensive because it's difficult to acquire. But it strikes me as something people eat for status rather than to enjoy. Which strikes me as the weirdest and most foolish reason to eat something. I get there are foodies and restaurant critics out there who sneer at the commoner's palate. But you don't see me eating fish eggs. I'll live with their sneers. A "refined palate" always struck me someone being able to teach themselves to enjoy something that most people think is nasty. Which a weird gift to have, much less want. I don't understand why food critics are as in-demand as they are. Their entire shtick is to review food their readers either wouldn't like or couldn't afford. I could be wrong. But "fish eggs" tells me I'm not.
Interesting episode. ****.
Carmen Sandiego "The Opera In The Outback Caper"
Appropriate that the opera was "Carmen".
I really liked the wordless fight on the stagelights during the opera.
Crackle's amnesia explains the brainwashing room and the visor. It might also explain why there is so little information about VILE out there in the first place.
Hat! Hat! He said hat! Sheesh!
I liked the Number 2 joke.
I think the episode got subliminal messages wrong. It's a cartoon, and one for kids at that, but so far most of the spyjinx on the show have been grounded compared to other kids adventure cartoons. But a subliminal message is only effective if you aren't aware of it. It's not the same as being hypnotized. In fact, once you are aware the message exists, it's no longer subliminal, and no longer effective, at least not consciously. But I accept a kiddie cartoon using it as a form of mind control simply because it's a kiddie cartoon. But most of the other episodes before this were a little more real-world based.
At first I was annoyed that Ivy did so well in her fight with La Chevre. I was like "He's a trained thief, who learned martial arts from professionals. He should be doing better than this." And then he wins and leaves her for dead, and I weirdly said, "That's more like it."
For the record, neither Ivy nor Zach should be able to play the dumb bystander act with VILE operatives for that much longer. That VILE STILL doesn't seem to know who they are, or that they even exist, says their skills and reach are not as notorious as advertised.
Am I the only one who was grossed out that Zach put the doctor's headphone earbuds in his ears? I mean, that strikes me as about as rude and intimately presumptuous as drinking out of a stranger's mug or taking a bite out of their sandwich. It's also weirdly gross. Maybe when headphones were actually headphones it wouldn't be. But now that they are ear buds, I'd just as soon share mine as I would my toothbrush.
Interesting episode. Gave me a lot to think about. ****.
Carmen Sandiego "The Chasing Paper Caper"
The chase music at the end was boss.
I think Paper Star's design is a bit too clownish to be legitimately scary. But her off singsong voice and skipping in the dark creep me out anyways. And when she says she likes the red on Carmen's outfit because it will hide the stains I was like "Oh, wow. This chick's for real!"
I was unhappy that Carmen's hat was ruined. I suspected a continuity problem for the next episode. I was right.
ACME never should have hired Devaneux. True, Carmen was the one who lost the ACME card to Paper Star, but it's the Inspector's fault for losing it to Carmen, and making her aware of the existence of ACME. And frankly, it was not Carmen's responsibility to hold onto it. When Carmen says "ACME, huh?" I was like, "It's lucky he's wrong about Carmen and she's actually on his side." And then at the end it doesn't even matter that he is. ACME is compromised anyways. He's a total liability.
Pretty good outing. ****.
Carmen Sandiego "The Lucky Cat Caper"
If Devaneux isn't fired by the end of the season, I'll be unhappy. He lost his keycard, not only noticed it just now, and STILL hasn't reported it? Dude is a menace. He reminds me a bit of a more mean-spirited Agent West from The Zeta Project. The difference is that West was harmless. Yeah, he usually was the guy who made it so that Zeta accidentally got away. But he also never accidentally helped the bad guys, which the Inspector has done more than his fair share of on this show. He's what would happen if West's incompetence had real-world consequences.
I always assumed West was never fired because he might have been Wally West's ne'er do well black sheep nephew, and being related to the Flash offered him career protection. But Devaneux is what happens in real life when people are bad at their jobs. Julia is no Agent Lee in covering his butt (although she serves the same function as Lee did to Agent Bennet in theorizing that Zeta wasn't actually dangerous) so he doesn't even have an effective babysitter to mitigate his damage. I'm starting to wonder if that means Julia should be fired too. But she IS pretty good at making observations, although it strikes me that all of the observations she has made that have so far impressed the Chief are actually, well, obvious, at least to the audience. I do not share the Chief's opinion that she's a great detective. She's only not terrible, and only in comparison to Devaneux.
The car chase was exciting and all, but the real tension for me was the slow-motion theft on the wharf. What I like about Carmen's missions is that they aren't effortless for her. She always wins, but she always has to work for the victory. And that is not only a good message, but it makes things more exciting for us too.
It's interesting that Shadow-San's empty coat is Carmen's biggest secret hang-up. I like that she used her rare moment of face-time with Shadow-San to try and get him to admit the truth, and then when he wouldn't, she told him she no longer needed his approval anyways. Stealing a stamp from a boot is more impressive than lifting a dollar from a coat anyways.
Ha! I knew the damaged hat would be a problem this episode. They never explained if Carmen repaired it or simply got a new one. They ignored the last episode about that instead which is why I think they shouldn't have done it in the first place.
Good episode though. ****.
Carmen Sandiego "The French Connection Caper"
That was amazing. I didn't have a solid opinion over whether or not Coach Brant was secretly allied with Carmen or not before this, because it could have gone either way, although I did expect to learn her true allegiances in this episode. I was a little disappointed that it turns out Carmen's love for her was one-sided. For approximately 10 seconds before Shadow-San saves Carmen's life, and reveals he was the one secretly looking out for her.
Where does Shadow-San go from here? If he's brave, he'll go back to VILE and under deep cover. If he's smart, he'll look for ACME. If he's both, he'll find ACME first (and quickly) before going under deep cover.
I have to admit, I'm disappointed with ACME. Especially since they used a Lynne Thigpen stand-in the for Chief. Not only does she get Carmen completely wrong, but she loses the season in every way you can think of by VILE learning what ACME was. She better hope Coach Brant is dead. If not, they are completely hosed and lost their biggest edge.
It's interesting, the drunken seeming argument in the mirror the Inspector had with himself made me me sympathetic to Devaneux for the first time ever. And I wound up having more sympathy for him than the Chief by the end of the episode. Simply because as wrong and stupid as he is, him standing up to the torture by singing the French anthem says he is putting his skin in the game, which is more than I can say for the Chief. We haven't even met her in person yet. She does everything via hologram and refuses to get her own hands dirty. As infuriating as the Inspector's stupidity is, he's not a coward, and puts himself in danger willingly. Chief strikes me as a manipulator and a chicken. And it bothers me that I think that way about the Lynne Thigpen stand-in. That's the one thing in the finale I regret.
But everything else was amazing. People talk a LOT of smack about Duane Capizzi for The Batman and Superman: Brainiac Attacks, most of it deserved. But the dude has rehabilitated himself in my mind with both this show and Transformers Prime. This isn't as amazing as Prime. But it someday could be. And I look forward to seeing if it is. *****.
Star Trek: Discovery "Brother"
I don't know. I can't make heads or tails of that. And that frustrates me because my mind can usually play Trekkie lore like a fiddle, but I didn't understand what was going on. I didn't understand the mission. I didn't understand the significance of why the Enterprise was there. I didn't understand the ending with Burnham in Spock's quarters. And I didn't understand her vision of the red angel. One of the specific reasons I sometimes subscribe to CBS All Access is that Star Trek is one of my few fandoms that I have a pretty good handle on (the other being Twin Peaks). And I didn't understand what was going on at all which again frustrates me.
Why was Wilson Cruz billed as a regular cast member in the beginning when he only briefly cameoed on a screen, and his character is actually dead? What's more perplexing is that Cruz was NOT a series regular last year. What is going on?
I feel that for every step forward Discovery makes to fix its canon mistakes (such as explaining the uniforms) it takes another two steps back in continuity messes. It's bad enough there are other aliens in Starfleet. They should never, EVER be on the Enterprise at this point in time. And it was a new character we'd never seen or heard of before so the series seemed to make that particular mistake for no reason.
One of the reasons Spock had such a hard time on the original series is that Starfleet was, yes, segregated. There were Vulcan ships, but they had no human crew members. And Spock was the only Vulcan on a human ship in the entire fleet. I can excuse it on Discovery (the ship) because that ship's mission is top secret, and nobody in Kirk's time outside of Spock probably ever heard of it. (And the rest of the original Enterprise crew didn't actually seem too intellectually curious about what the rest of Starfleet was actually up to at the time). But you can't do that for the Enterprise. It's just wrong. Spock is an outsider character in Star Trek specifically because Starfleet is segregated. Honestly, I don't know what Gene Roddenberry was thinking with that. I think he just wanted Spock to be the first and most famous Vulcan in Starfleet history without thinking through the horrible implications of aliens never sharing the same ship before him. But in hindsight, it totally works as an allegory for Jim Crow. And I think the original series becomes a LOT less powerful when this show tries to take that allegory away, simply because modern audiences don't care if there are other aliens in Starfleet. Well, if the producers felt that way, they shouldn't have set the show in this time period. They are messing up the canon of Star Trek, for good and ill. Some of it like ignoring Turnabout Intruder for Phillipa Georgiou is good. This is bad. The segregation and casual racism of his crewmates (particularly Bones) was a serious reason Spock struggled. You can't take that away from him 60 years later. That's not fair to him or us.
I imagine there will be certain Trekkies dismayed by Youthful Spock's portrayal as a total monster to Sarek and Burnham. You know what? That tracks. The stuff where Pike was quoting the wise things Spock said at the end was SO Spock. The dude was smart and insightful around his crewmates, but he treated his own family like garbage. Journel To Babel is for some insane reason beloved in Trekdom, but Spock's disgusting behavior there makes it completely appalling to me. I hate that episode. But because of it I can tell that Spock is totally the kid who creates a holographic dragon to scare his new human foster sister before slamming the door in her face. The only person in Star Trek possibly a worse relative to his kin than Spock was Worf as a father to Alexander. No, I take that back. Spock's probably worse. Spock as a son to Sarek and Amanda, refusing to give a life saving blood transfusion to his father because he had bridge busywork, shows that Spock is a total ahole to people who profess to love him. On a very real level I hated the character for that, especially because both Sarek and Amanda were so sympathetic and understanding to his struggles. He slams the door in the face of his entire family with his actions.
It's ironic Sarek wanted Burnham to teach Spock empathy. Because Sarek has ALWAYS been far more human than Spock. Even with a new unheard of character in the mix, that tracks.
For the record, Ethan Peck sounds a LOT more like Leonard Nimoy than Zachary Quinto ever did. Honestly, without that deep, gravelly voice, I'm starting to think Quinto was actually miscast. Chris Pine certainly was.
Stamets remains my favorite character simply for being rude and wonderful at the same time to Tilly. She was being a nuisance, but he pointed it out to her in a funny and delightful way instead of losing his cr*p over the stuff she was painfully bringing up, and making him think about what he rather wouldn't. It bordered on "I love you but shut up," and him making Tilly repeat that she needs to stop talking is so wonderful and done in a manner of pure caring and empathy, and yes, love. And that's why I love Stamets, or at least the Stamets who got a crazy high on warp spores.
Pike suggesting things were going to be a little more fun aboard Discovery this year was almost meta. That was the entire reason Captain Lorca sucked. But Captain Lorca was secretly evil so it worked for that. Let's get some chairs in a room where evil no longer stands. Okay?
I wish I liked the episode better. But I didn't understand it. And I think part of me understands Star Trek and what is appropriate for the franchise better than the producers do. And it's really hard to feel so alienated from this series while that is true. I wish it weren't. We'll see what happens this season. ***.
DC Super Hero Girls Super Shorts "Get To Know Wonder Woman"
I have literally only seen this show's Wonder Woman via a minute and a half clip, and I already love her more than I ever did the other show's Diana. She's arch, severe, and real character. That will make the funny stuff (such as with the cake) land better. The worst thing the Shea Fontana series did was treat Diana as the high school prom queen. That ain't Diana's jam and never was. I expect good things from both this show and this character. *****.
Gotham "Penguin, Our Hero"
I am a little sick of adaptations of Harley Quinn being lethally dangerous. This version is particular much more vicious than Paul Dini ever intended.
But it wasn't a terrible episode otherwise by any means. It's interesting that so far this season hasn't delivered ANY terrible episodes yet. It's never gone this long without outright sucking before. I don't expect it to last but it is unusual enough to be worth mentioning. ****1/2.
Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "The Evil League Of Mutants"
Explain something to me. How is it that a show with 2-D animation looks so much better and amazing than a super expensive CGI one that looked empty and lifeless? I do not get why this show is so good and why 2012 made things so freaking hard.
People are going to go into conniptions over the new origin and Lou Jitsu, but those are the same people who believe Leo is someday going to be leader. This series (wisely in my mind) is steering almost completely clear of the original canon. Almost all of it. While that will probably disappoint many fans, the truth is as far as 80's franchises go, we've had more interpretations of Turtles than most. Part of the reason Ghostbusters: Answer the Call and ThunderCats Roar created the controversy they did is because we had gone through such a dry spell with both of those franchises. Once 2012 ended we got this show. Once this show ends, we'll invariably get another. And it's for this reason that they don't actually need to follow the canon, and I am not upset with them not doing so.
The Gilbert and Sullivan song was amazing. Did John Cena sing that himself? If so he did a great job.
The more this show refuses to get bogged down by what has come before, the more I like it. 2012's problem (or rather one of the hundreds of its problems) is that it tried to get to everything. It's much more enjoyable (and probably easier to write) if they just don't bother. The results speak for themselves. *****.
Transformers: Rescue Bots Academy "The Boy Who Cried Rescue"
My problem: This show is geared towards preschoolers. I understand the "Boy Who Cried Wolf" moral is for them. But it should NEVER be a factor in a school where robots learn how to rescue people properly. "No false alarms" is the first lesson you learn. In fact you should probably know it before you enroll in the school if the subject interests you enough to do so. What is a valuable lesson for the toddlers at home makes the bots seem incredibly unprofessional and bad at their jobs. And while their mission involves saving lives, that's a huge problem for me. I don't think a victim in a fire or a hurricane should ever thought of as a conduit to each bots' personal growth via mistakes, and it's to the show's credit that most of the big eff-ups have only involved the Bots so far. But this is NOT a premise to have the characters learn preschool lessons. This specific premise would be best suited to giving the kids at home proper safety tips. That's all the show should be doing with the Bot characters. If they need some dumb kid drama, that's what adding humans are for. I didn't like the unprofessionalism of Robots In Disguise either, but that was shown as a character defect mainly between two characters. Here the entire team is treating their training like a kids sport. It's not just Hotshot. It's not just Hotshot at all.
I like to think that we have made great strides in children's animation since I was a kid, particularly in the previously awful Transformers franchise. But the karaoke joke says that bad and stupid writing is something every generation of kids TV is going to have to suffer through, whether grown up TV no longer tolerates something as dumb as Murphy Brown or not. Things would probably go better in that regard if kids did NOT so reflexively gravitate towards cr*p. Because they do, producers are not afraid to give them what they want. The high-quality stuff like JLU, and Gargoyles, and even Transformers Prime are things smart kids DID enjoy and watch. But the really popular stuff? The stuff that started fads? With the notable exception of Sesame Street (which started in the 1960's for Pete's sake)? All garbage. Which is why this show is what it is, and nobody bothers to try. I am certain the writer of this episode is smart enough to come up with a joke that is better and less painful than that karaoke line. But seeing what passes for popular nowadays I am sure their mindset was "Why bother?" Part of me doesn't blame them. Part of me is mad this show sucks, while Transformers Prime was amazing. But I also know this show will probably wind up more popular than Prime ever was with the target audience. That saddens me, but it's something I'll have to get over to be able to watch this show at all. **1/2.
Transformers: Rescue Bot Academy "Mount Botmore"
In which I break my promise two sentences later in the same review. I cannot accept that episode. I liked the small joke of Heatwave noticing his hat was too small on the statue, not caring, but saying it in a tone that says it will bug him from now on because he'll always notice it. I actually loved that, to be honest. It was an observational moment made stronger by a subtle voice performance. That's good television, whether it's made for toddlers or not.
It was all downhill from there.
Despite Hotshot over and over learning his lesson in previous episodes, and promising to listen to the lessons taught from now on, he does it again, and breaks an entire dam endangering humans. The show halfheartedly says at the end of the episode that because of his actions they realized the dam was weak at all so Good Work Team, but the dam probably would have held if Hotshot hadn't carved his stupid head in the mountain. He deserves to be expelled for that, not praised. The show is treading dangerous message and morality waters as far as I am concerned.
And the head rolling bothered me. It didn't JUST roll down a hill. It rolled down a slightly lowering slope too, which is stupid because the head is NOT a perfectly round sphere, and objects that are NOT actually spheres or shaped like circles, wheels or cylinders do not actually roll. It's so stupid. And then they roll the head into position to supposedly block the hole in the dyke? Even if the head were perfectly round, that is not a mathematical problem to be solved by kids on the fly, much less successfully. Even if I were to accept the cartoon logic that it was SOMEHOW plausible, the truth is that one off calculation means it smashes through the dam instead. And Hotshot is not the dude who strikes me as the guy who comes up with the precise calculations. It's basically cartoon nonsense.
Which is poison to the entire premise. A rescue themed kid show should be giving helpful tips about safety and about kids being aware of their surroundings. It can't do that as long as it refuses to conform to reality. As long as the solution sounds good to Wile E Coyote, except it works, the show is failing its very premise, and the exact thing it should be teaching kids about. I've seen Elena Of Avalor, a show geared towards a similar audience, do excellent legitimate safety lessons for kids, so I know it can be done with writers who actually care about their show and the kids at home, which these writers clearly do not. It's the fact that a safety themed kids show doesn't seem to care about its messages to kids which is why I think it sucks, and why the adults who write it are doing more harm than good.
Honestly, I hate to call it this early, especially because I can see this developing quite a sprog following, and being popular with little kids, and lasting for seasons on end. But it's a bad show, and a bad show for kids to watch. If I had kids, I wouldn't let them watch it. It gives them the wrong ideas about safety, which is pretty much the absolute worst thing a show of this specific nature can do. This early in the run, and I'm already declaring this show a failure. A dud of an episode (and a series). 0.
The Orville "Nothing Left On Earth Excepting Fishes"
That was nice. Really. You don't expect a Billy Joel montage at the end of a Krill episode but that's why it was nice.
The stuff between Ed and Talaya was fantastic. I love that she actually liked Raiders, but confuses the Nazis for the good guys. I think I understand why Ed let her go better than Amanda did. It wasn't simply because he wanted better Union / Krill relations. That is a longshot bet. I'm betting deep down he feels super guilty for killing her brother, and believes this makes them square. I am not sure it does. In fact, considering the brother WAS about to commit genocide, I'm not even sure this is a debt actually owed. But I kind of would have liked the series to point out that it's possible Ed only let Tayala go for personal reasons.
My favorite moment was the look Amanda gave Bortus upon him saying that Malloy would fail. That was a look of half-resignation / half "No s-word, Sherlock" and she is struggling with deciding on which she is feeling. That was a cool moment.
Nice episode. And I mean that in the best way. ***1/2.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine "Hitchcock & Scully"
Oh, my God! The "Take my breath away" moment at the end of the episode was so hilarious. I love the idea that Hitchcock and Scully used to be young studs and every bit the bad@$$ cops Jake wants to be. I also love that they are happy about their punishment of desk duty.
Gina's idea of a smiling villain is the Verizon guy who now works for Sprint. You know what? That's a good call. Paul gives me the creeps. Probably because he looks so much like Jared from Subway.
I love Rosa being concerned that "hoot" is now a thing. Honestly, that concerns me too.
You do NOT want to be with Hitchcock and Scully in an interrogation room after lunchtime. Especially after Scully has eaten cheese. Because he's lactose intolerant.
That ending had me rolling. One of the funniest things the show ever did. ****1/2.
The Good Place "Chidi Sees The Time-Knife"
I love the judge saying "So apparently I'm black. Wow, they REALLY do not like black women down there." Maya Rudolph is absolutely perfect in this role.
Speaking of which I love Sean torturing Shakespeare by reading him the script to the Entourage movie.
Return of Derek. Still a doof if you ask me.
Great episode. ****.
The Blacklist "The Pawnbrokers"
I found the premise a bit ludicrous, but I was willing to give it a shot as it was going along. The verdict? Red's "Plan" as it were, wasn't actually a Xanatos Gambit. It was Xanatos Roulette, or more like Xanatos 50-Car-Pile-Up. In the series' defense, Red never pretended it was a sure thing. But the fact that it worked was more coincidental than genius.
I regret the guy who stole the intelligence was killed when he was. A guy that dumb, who gambles 200 grand on a single hand of poker, who goes back to the Pawnbrokers demanding the drives back without the money deserves to be publicly shamed. He also deserved to die for treason, but I dislike that no-one will ever really know exactly how stupid he is unless the Pawnbroker who survived confesses every aspect of their crimes that they aren't actually on the hook for. I sort of think this is the guy who would actually DESERVE a little side-eye from Liz, Ressler and Navabi.
I like the moment where Ressler is trying to figure out how to tell the guy his wife died. But she was murderer. It's not like she didn't know what she was getting into, and neither did this guy. This is the life they chose to lead. My sympathy for him isn't limited, it's actually nonexistent.
I had reservations of Red cautiously looking around the prison at the beginning, which is one of the reasons I wasn't sure I'd like the episode. But once he lured the mouse, I got it. My initial objection is that Red Reddington as we know him, does not object to harsh living conditions. Being in them for long stretches at a time, was a huge part of his job earlier in his career. In fact, when Mr. Kaplan ruined him, Red was borderline excited at being around average and rundown places, and thought of it as a new adventure. I grant that prison is something else entirely, but I didn't like the idea that he was squicked out or afraid to get his hands dirty.
Him luring the rat tells me he's just getting accustomed to his surroundings, and sizing up what advantages are available to him, which IS in character. Frankly the biggest thing I objected to in hindsight is that knowing what we know now, Red gave Liz the Blacklister case far too early in the episode to actually be believable. But as I already said, the episode was already full-stop ridiculous anyways.
And of course Red banged that guy's mother. Not his wife. That was be too easy, and not humiliating enough for him. It HAD to be his mother. Good stuff.
Liz's sister said something interesting (but true) that I'm just going to fault the show for. Because this is true, the show is failing. When Liz says even if Red wins, at least it brought them together the sister says, "That's not enough." And you know what? The fact that she believes that says Liz AND the show have never treated her like an actual sister. I know and remember the name Nadia from Alias by heart and always will. She didn't turn out to be as important to the canon as we hoped, but the family drama was such a huge part of Sydney Bristow's life that I remember her as well as Dixon, Weiss, Francie, Will, and Marshall, and the other bit players on that show. This is "The Sister's" second season on the show, and I still can't remember her name. That is wrong, and that is on this show. There has not been enough bonding or family drama between her and Liz and Red. Barely any in fact. And the fact that there's been none so far this season borders on a travesty.
But as ludicrous as this was, I enjoyed it (more or less). Prison Break: The Series was far stupider about the same subject, and I still shut off my brain and watched that. I'll live with this. ***1/2.
Blindspot "The Big Reveal"
I loved Rich and Jane's heart to heart in the van. His "Go get 'em" speech was great too.
That stupid son. If he hadn't called his girlfriend they would have gotten the cure. The FBI wasn't blameless either. They should have confiscated his phone or at least had him under supervision.
Been a while since I've seen Patricia Richardson in anything. She still looks like a million bucks. Although it almost seems like she's slumming on this show. She was a big star in the 90's and this show can't even give her a Special Guest Star credit? What the heck?
The mushy stuff between Weller and Jane had me repeating "Oh God. Kill me now." So painfully stupid and badly written.
Knew Zapata was scamming the bad guys, but I think it was long overdue to finally learn how the scam worked. Reed never forgiving her feels to me like a hackneyed plot turn to complicate their ship. He could have just as easily forgiven her with the information he learned. Instead the show is just jerking us around. Honestly, if Zapata weren't on such thin legal ice she should have called him on it. I might have anyways in her place.
Average week with a touch of lame. ***.