"Early Man" Review (Spoilers)
Also reviews for the latest episodes of DC Super Hero Girls, The Flash, Black Lightning, Arrow, Gotham, Unikitty, Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D., and Marvel's Avengers: Secret Wars, the Muppet Babies: Show And Tell shorts, and the latest episodes of Elena Of Avalor, Elena Of Avalor: Scepter Training With Zuzo, Once Upon A Time, The X-Files, The Blacklist, and Blindspot.
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Early Man
Strictly speaking, this was not all that great, but there were things I liked, and I ultimately liked more than I didn’t.
As far as I was concerned, that Bunny should have been the entire movie. Once again, Aardman rocking the snuggly bunnies. Curse Of The Were-Rabbit was NOT an aberration.
I like the pig who wanted to play football. I like the fact that the Queen turned out to be reasonable in the end, and that all of the people ultimately cheered and were rooting for the cavemen. I liked that snooty football player shaking Dug’s hand, and telling him he played a good game. And I liked the roach with sunglasses at the opening apocalypse.
I think the movie was a bit too crass for it’s own good, which was the same problem Pirates! had. That being said, Pirates was cleverly written, and this isn’t, so I had a bigger problem with it here. Part of the problem of doing a story about prehistoric man is that the characters are often not clever enough to be truly funny. People think stupidity is inherently funny, but I don’t agree with that, and never did.
This was a passable movie, but it’s the first passable Aardman movie ever. All the rest are great. You can point out Arthur Christmas to me, but as far as I was concerned, that was Aardman In Name Only. Nick Park actually directed something this boring. Which kind of bums me out. But it’s a little above average. If I were Siskel or Ebert, my thumb would be raised SLIGHTLY up. ***.
DC Super Hero Girls “Gone To The Dogs: Part 1”
Loved it. I laughed hard at the implication that Krypto sniffed Ace’s butt. Ace’s reaction to that was priceless too.
Ace throwing the tennis ball with a bored look on his face was fun, and I loved hearing a version of the classic Batman theme when seeing Barb ride the purple motorcycle.
This begs the question: Why does Ace wear a mask anyways? Is Barb truly worried about his face being ID-ed? This is about as ridiculous as that infamous episode of Cops that blurred out the face of the dog.
SO funny. ****1/2.
The Flash “Subject 9”
Y’know, I was enjoying the episode until they killed the Fiddler off. It was a mistake, and even if I won’t give the episode a negative score for it, it’s not a great episode anymore, and it could have been.
My problem with this episode and this season is the exact same problem as season three: Team Flash is not getting enough wins. Things are starting to feel hopeless. Not as hopeless and dark as season three. But despair should never be a prevailing mindset for a TV show featuring the Flash. Even one season of doing it was too much. But if this is the new normal, the show is worse for it.
I liked Iris saying to Ralph “You nasty.” Candice Patton is a beautiful, strong, black woman, and I love whenever the writers allow her to talk like one. That was hilarious.
I also appreciated Ralph hiring Barry at the end. It sort of made a perfect symmetry to not only how Ralph lost his job, but how he joined Team Flash too. And I love Barry making sure to point out that their situations were not actually equivalent, because Ralph DID actually break the law. That was kind of funny.
I love that Iris initially thinks Barry is being too hard on the Fiddler because he wants her to be a hero, and he reveals it’s simply because he knows what big a danger she is actually in. Honestly, I think Barry was right all along, and just because she made the bad decision to leave on her own, doesn’t mean Barry was responsible for her making that decision. A lot of it had to frankly do with ego, which is not something Barry has any control over. I love that Barry is the kind of wonderful guy who takes responsibility for the bad things that happen under his watch whenever he makes a decision. But that bad thing was not actually on him.
Mrs. Devoe suspects something is wrong with Devoe’s brainpower. I suspect she is right.
Harry’s stuff with Cecile was fun. I don’t much like Cecile, but she makes Harry uncomfortable. which is pretty much money in the bank comedy gold. Tom Cavanaugh is pretty much this show’s MVP for this reason.
Cisco says he can’t name the Meta Soundwave because Transformers came up with it first. But if Cisco NEVER named a Meta something that wasn’t previously named by a Transformer, I’d be shocked. They are all puns based upon metal gearhead things, and they are usually so simple that Hasbro cannot trademark them. You can’t trademark the name Jazz or Bumblebee. And there are hundreds of them And I would be surprised if Cisco never used a Transformer name. I’d be even MORE surprise if the Flash comics never used a name that was later used on Transformers either. Bumblebee IS a DC hero after all.
Seriously. Didn’t Cisco name a Meta Mirage at one point? Am I wrong in remembering that?
I would have loved the episode if it hadn’t wound up bumming me out so much. ***1/2.
Black Lightning “Three Sevens: The Book Of Thunder”
That episode pushed a LOT of buttons for me, and I was mostly happy with those buttons being pushed. Not completely though.
First off, all Confederate statues should be destroyed. They are obscene. And we’ve tolerated them for far too long. People defending them scream “heritage”, but that’s never been what it’s about, and I’m not going to give the racists who want to deliberately offend black people with the statues the cover to believe heritage has anything to do with it. Because if I found out my ancestor was in the Confederacy, I would be properly ashamed. I would not be celebrating my heritage and bragging about how honorable it was that my great, great grandfather betrayed his country for the right to own another human being. It’s weird that White Nationalists try to convince us our response should be any different. And I love that we’ve stopped refusing to give them cover about that. It’s about freaking time.
I liked Jefferson talking to Jennifer about how black people often resent other black people who are successful, and Jennifer’s all, “Nah, that backfired on her.” I love that the response from most of the kids in the school was to think that the bully was over the line, and that her thinking was harmful to all black people. And that’s something I love about this current generation, that I hate about all previous generations. Kids today stand up to bullies. For the first time ever. And it galls me that we elected the biggest bully ever President. We failed these amazing kids. But I sincerely do not see them ever failing us.
I love the look Anissa gives Jefferson in the last shot. She’s happy. Because it explains everything about herself immediately, including why she fights crime at all. And her entire quest during the first part of the season was all about getting those answers. And seeing her father in the Black Lightning costume explained everything. Immediately. That was joy on her face and I shared it.
I do not believe Gambi is keeping Tobias’ secret from Jefferson because he’s worried about his own dirty laundry coming out. I think it’s more that he made a promise to Lady Eve that ultimately protected the Pierces, and he’s going to live up to it.
Interestingly, even if that’s true, he should have told Jefferson the truth this episode. Things would have gone better for him. Just because Jefferson gave him the perfect opportunity to come clean. The tone of voice Jefferson used when he asked him “What aren’t you telling me?” suggested that Jefferson’s frame of mind was that he knew Gambi screwed him over somehow regarding information with Tobias, but if he admitted it right there, he’d forgive him. And Gambi is too dumb to take that opportunity for the gift it was. Now whatever the truth is, when it comes out (and it will), Jefferson is gonna be pissed as hell. And honestly? He’ll be right to be.
The Kahlil stuff is the one button the episode pressed that I felt didn’t work. If I were Jennifer, I would have lost him already. She feels bad, but she shouldn’t. Do you know the reason he went to that march? So he could get into her pants. That’s the only reason. He did not do that for her. He did that for himself. And he’s crazy to make Jennifer feel bad for it.
And frankly, Jennifer’s a young teenage girl. Her and Kahlil JUST started dating. She can’t be expected to give up her life for the guy the way a spouse whose loved one gets a spinal injury does. She is young and not THAT committed. She is under no obligation to stay. Especially if he’s bullying her and blaming her for it. She owes him less than Kahlil believes.
But Jennifer is not completely blameless in that scene. And it’s due to the show pushing the wrong political button. She says she’ll keep Kahlil in her prayers. A week and a half earlier I would not have objected to that line as much as I do now. Now I agree with Kahlil that her prayers are worthless.
Love that Henderson immediately suspects the chief is dirty, just because he got a tip he had no explanation for, and refused to explain it. Henderson is no dummy, and I like that about him.
I like that Jefferson is pissed Anissa used toy guns in front of cops. She downplays it as merely being water guns, but ask Tamir Rice about how great cops’ judgment is about stuff like that. “The Talk” all black fathers have to have with their children about the police was another political button the episode pushed, and it was one I liked.
The fact that Jefferson witnessed Tobias killing his father in the way he did made me totally get why he wanted to murder him. I actually don’t approve, but I like, GET it.
I love it whenever a show has the hero say, “I don’t want to hurt you. I want to help you.” That is the best line ever, and should be used more often than it is. What makes “No, WE did it!” so great anyways? THIS is the line that should be overused, not that one.
This show has the best episode titles.
Great episode. ****1/2.
Arrow “Collision Course”
The real Laurel isn’t dead? Bummer. I hated the character and hoped she would never return. Thanks for nothing, Arrow.
This episode was frustrating on every level. Every character pretty much sucked during that. And never shut it off.
Curtis sucked for deliberately hurting John. Oliver sucked for invading the Outsiders’ lair and letting things get as far as they did. Not to mentioning promising the city something he had no way of delivering. Dinah sucked for spending most of the episode as an attempted murderer. Quentin sucked because he’s dumb as hell. Felicity and Dig sucked for showing up at the hospital as if it weren’t completely inappropriate. And Rene especially sucks for shooting Felicity Freaking Smoak. I don’t care if he was hurt more, Felicity was unarmed, and he was shooting at his former friends as if guns were toys. He has MUCH more to be ashamed of than Oliver does.
Felicity also sucks because she bakes cookies. It doesn’t matter how kick-butt the female hero seems. And Felicity is unlike other kick-butt heroines in that she uses her brain entirely to kick butt, which is totally refreshing. But ultimately, it doesn’t matter. Every single genre show will find a way to domesticate heroines and have them bake cookies. It was a running joke on Justice League’s Legends that Black Siren’s entire job is baking cookies. In real-world genre, it’s actually a thing to watch out for. So yeah, here we are. Again, thanks for nothing, Arrow.
Did I mention I hated the episode? *.
Gotham “A Dark Knight: Pieces Of A Broken Mirror”
Underwhelming, but on this show, I’ll taking underwhelming and like it. This show is usually a hot mess freak show.
I will say this for this episode: The fact that Selina looks at Bruce as if he is a totally lame phony worthy of scorn, means the episode has SOME merit. No matter what else. Because Bruce sucks, and Selina is the only person willing to tell him that.
As for Alfred, he sucks for entirely different reasons. He didn’t kill Tiffany, but it’s his fault she’s dead. If he hadn’t attacked her boyfriend, she’d still be alive. Which is precisely why men should not violently insert themselves into that type of situation. If a woman is to leave an abuser, it is a tightrope to navigate. Giving the abuser an extra excuse to hurt the woman is a rookie mistake in dealing with people in this situation.
I am little amused and annoyed Harvey does not want to be Jim’s priest. If Jim himself were not stupid or a total loser, he would point that that’s a bartender’s freaking job! The bartender hears confessions the priests won’t. And it amazes me the show is dumb enough to have Harvey use THAT particular allegory without even realizing the specific reason it doesn’t fit at all. And it doesn’t. And the writers are dumb for both giving Harvey that specific job, and that specific line at the same time. I often think just based on the things I’ve seen in this show, that neither Bruno Heller or Danny Cannon have ever stepped outside into the real world. They certainly don’t act like they’ve ever bothered to watch a police procedural to get a feel for how fictional cops should actually act. And it’s stuff like this which shows the producers do no research for this show whatsoever.
The stuff with Butch is killing me. I think the show did very wrong by Drew Powell. See how amazing he is? But Grundy as Butch cannot last for long. By design. Which sucks. Powell is the most talented cast member, and instead of Grundy being a reward for that, it’s a waste of his talents. If this show has a positive asset, whether it’s Clare Foley as Ivy, Moroni, Jerome, Butch, Don Falcone, it doesn’t matter. If the character is awesome, they are killed off or recast. And at least we got Jerome back. But the writers never should have been dumb enough to kill him off in the first place. Powell almost has it worse than everybody, because he’s present for them ruining Butch like this. And it sucks.
It’s for this reason I don’t expect Victor Zsasz to survive the season. Anthony Corrigan made a fatal mistake when playing him: He is far too awesome for this show. I predict he is on a clock. Gotham is like the first season of Big Brother. They get rid of all of the interesting people first.
Speaking of which, that ad for the Siren Club? SUCKED. I can actually picture Barbara starring in a pervy 1-900 number type of commercial like that. But Selina and Tabitha? This show does not respect its actresses, and that is proof. How humiliating and out of character for the both of them.
Ed hiring the hit makes sense, and is good, because it’s an added wrinkle that can’t be solved in one week. Which is the mark of a good plot turn.
“Fascinating!” is the wrong descriptor Lucius. More like “gross” and “frightening”.
I love that Harvey still prefers heavyset women. I especially love that the Bordello has a couple on call just for him.
Do you know what I love about Lee’s reunion with Jim? She’s not damaged about it. She doesn’t seem to like him much, but she’s being perfectly cordial and friendly, and this seems to be the first time the series has given her this amount of grace. But the fact that it took this long for the show not to act like Lee was the bad guy for being mad that Jim murdered her husband because he was jealous of him, is another reason I think the actresses on this show are so mistreated.
Not a terrible episode of quite a terrible series. ***.
Unikitty “The Zone”
I liked the jokes that Richard’s favorite part of the game was the intricate instruction manual, and that Richard didn’t feel any different by being pixelated. ***.
Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. “All The Comforts Of Home”
I have basically spent every waking second since Age Of Ulron cursing Joss Whedon’s name, and disavowing the fact that I used to be the hugest Buffyverse fan ever. Read my posts from Toon Zone back in the day. I was in love. But since Ultron, Joss has been on my poop list. But... one thing I have made sure to do is give Agents Of SHIELD a fair shake. Joss has practically nothing to do with it, at least not anymore, so I should keep that in mind when I feel a bit disappointed.
Except, it’s not just Joss Whedon. It’s the entire Mutant Enemy studio. I finished watching this episode with an appalled look on my face, and I realized this garbage is classic Mutant Enemy. Joss Whedon, Marti Noxon, it doesn’t ultimately matter who is showrunner. The basic philosophy is to take a fun premise and in the fourth, fifth, or sixth season turn the show into unending misery, and make it completely impossible to enjoy. Fans grumble that Firefly was canceled too soon, but after seeing this, I am convinced that if it HAD turned into a long-running series, we would have wound up hating it unreservedly. And judging by the reported upcoming plot of Inara being gang-raped by Reavers, I know I would have personally wound up detesting Firefly if they had actually gotten the chance to do that. And it’s only because they were canceled they didn’t. That didn’t actually strike ultra feminist Joss Whedon as something even slightly over the line and unacceptable? I would more readily accept Joss as an ally for feminists if he weren’t routinely punishing women for the sin of having a sex drive. But it’s not just punishing women for their sexuality. It’s punishing them for being bad@$$ in the first place. And that’s not just Joss. It’s the nature of Mutant Enemy. Take anything slightly positive about a franchise, and make it completely suck. It infects that entire d*mn production company. If and when this show goes off the air, it’s pretty much “Good riddance,” for me. The only reason I’m still here are the loose MCU connections. If it weren’t already tied to a franchise I was invested in for other reasons, I would be gone by now.
Seriously. What good came from cutting off Yoyo’s arms? Just because it happened in the comics? I don’t care! Comics suck for repeatedly violently violating women! That doesn’t mean the show should! Truthfully, I actually liked the fact that she was Kasius’s oracle at first, because she struck me as the team member least suited for that. Every other member of the team has some tie to some vaguely epic sense of mythology, and Yoyo’s just the random chick who survived long enough to become a series regular. I liked the idea of her becoming the most epic SHIELD team member ever, because that has never been what she’s been about.
But I do not need to see a woman suffering from a horribly violent act on-screen. It hurts. It isn’t entertaining or interesting. It’s miserable, and makes the season feel even more hopeless than when they were in the future (which is a trick).
Patrick Warburton was wasted, but maybe that was the only way they could hire somebody goofy like that.
I guess I need to talk about the couple of positives this episode. There was a brief throwaway joke I loved: The idea that Enoch was supposedly “reckless”. What’s so hilarious is that the new robot guy says it as if it were patently obvious instead of utterly ridiculous. That was a great joke that deserved to be told in a better episode.
The second thing I loved was Deke’s reactions to being in the past. A tree is the most amazing thing in the world to him, and he is so excited to see an ice cream cone in the garbage, he is about to eat it before the writers remember he should be treated with a shred of dignity. He is an entirely different character than the skeezy hard@$$ we knew. And it’s instantaneous. This is the first time in his entire life he’s been happy, and it was a rare joy of this episode to be able to witness and share that. It reminds me of the Farscape episode where John Crichton returned to Earth, and starting dreamily guzzling milk as if it were nectar from the Gods. What is ordinary for one person is amazing to one who has lived without it. And if there has ever been a better product placement for Zima, I haven’t seen it. I liked that the bartender seemed kinda of nice. He (rightly) called the cops, but he wasn’t a d!ck about it or anything. I wish this episode was entirely this.
Unforunately, it was more Coulson declaring he didn’t care about the fate of the world upon bringing Daisy back, only to have Yoyo disfigured by the end of the episode. Can you believe this? I am fed up with Phil Freaking Coulson. I would prefer if “The Glue” was actually killed off as Future-Yoyo suggested to prevent what is coming. He deserves it for not even bothering to care.
Screw Piper! It’s her own fault for being stupid enough to fall for Hale’s nonsense. Yoyo’s injury was as much her fault as it was Coulson’s.
This episode is what Mutant Enemy does. Create a likable show you enjoy following for the first couple of seasons, then turn the characters detestable and punish the ones who don’t completely suck. For supposedly being a writer who doesn’t give audiences what they want, but what they “need”, it’s surprising this is supposedly the Joss Whedon philosophy. Because Joss doesn’t know what I need, and never did. And he certainly never delivered it. I have defended this production company for years simply based on the fact that Buffy’s “Becoming, Part 2” was the most amazing hour of television I had ever seen up to that point, and somebody who made something that great OBVIOUSLY had to know what they were doing long-term. “Becoming” is still amazing, but I now think Joss Whedon is a hack, and has been coasting on that episode for his entire career. And I’m done pretending Mutant Enemy is anything but a dumpster fire garbage company investing in hurting its loyal fans and the people who have been following their shows over the years. And I’m done falling for it just because the characters talk cute and there is the occasional funny plot twist. It’s unending misery otherwise, and if it isn’t starting off, it eventually will be. I hated this episode and I can safely say I hate this series. Deek’s stuff was probably worth a single star, but I’m so angry, I’m not even giving the episode that. 0.
Marvel’s Avengers: Secret Wars “Weirdworld”
Wow, that was quite an episode. An amazing episode to be sure, but I don’t exactly like what I learned.
Bruce Banner is detestable. And I didn’t know that until this week. But it seems kind of obvious. Honestly, Carol was right about something. Natasha doesn’t talk enough. And it is very clear that Natasha instantly grokked that there wasn’t actually a problem with the Hulk. There was a problem with Banner. And if she could have articulated that to Carol immediately, I’m not saying things would have gone down easier for Carol, but they certainly would have been less confusing.
Carol seems to be under the impression that they are going to go back with Banner and leave the Hulk behind. But Natasha is the only person there who knows that is not what is going to happen. Every surprise twist about Banner’s irrational behavior doesn’t surprise her at all. She sees what is happening coming a mile away. She could have shared and not only saved Carol some grief, but perhaps Bruce too.
And Bruce sucks. I am SO annoyed at him taking credit for the positive and heroic aspects of the Hulk. Because there was only one person fighting for the kill in that tussle. And it wasn’t the Hulk. The Hulk actually tried to calm him down and said the unthinkable: That they are the same person. And they’ve never been treated as such in most projects, and I like that by the end of the episode they sort of shook things up to the point where both Hulk and Bruce were willing to acknowledge that fact.
But seriously, Bruce is dumb for thinking he controlled the Hulk’s heroic aspects. Because his entire mantra is that the Hulk can’t be controlled. And then he qualifies, “Well, only by me.” But I think he was right the first time. And all throughout the episode while he was trying to kill the Hulk, and the Hulk was defensively fighting with the explicit intent never to hurt Bruce, tells me that not only is Hulk a better person than Bruce, he’s actually a smarter one too. So, yeah, Bruce gets no credit for Hulk’s virtue. If he was truly controlling things, Hulk would be a bad guy.
Can I just point out the specific reason Bruce sucks so much? He was acting so deranged during the episode, that I was sure Morgain Le Fey put a mind control spell on him. But it turns out that was all him? He totally sucks.
I love the designs on the Birdsqautch and The Very Bad Horsemen.
As I said, that was quite an episode. But I’m about as ticked off by what I just saw as I was amazed. I’m going to grade it as amazing, but I usually don’t simultaneously hate things I grade this highly. ****1/2.
Marvel’s Avengers: Secret Wars “Westland”
Here is the specific reason the episode doesn’t hold together. Hawkeye should not be as good an archer blind as he is. Batman can function blind or at diminished capacity because he trained himself for that. Hawkeye instantly claims his skills are useless without his eyes, which says he never trained for this scenario. And then he turns out to be a competent archer after all.
I’m calling b.s.. That is a particular skill-set that takes practice. You can’t simply do it with an encouraging word from Wasp and a good helping of Believing In Yourself. That’s not how it works. And the episode is worse because of it.
I don’t even know why they bothered blinding Hawkeye. It’s not like the episode wasn’t already filled with twists. I mean, Rocket and Groot? Jane Foster? Devil Freaking Dinosaur? Hawkeye’s illogical blindness is even worse when you realize they didn’t even actually need to do it to keep things interesting. This was pretty much the most eclectic roster of heroes I could have pictured.
Jane’s scene with Loki at the end annoyed me. But I’ll talk more about why in the coming weeks.
That “I am Groot” / “I am Vision” thing got old QUICK. Rocket seems to convey the proper level of annoyance for me, which is strange because he actually understands them both. But it is super annoying.
Laughed at the gag at the end of Rocket being mad when Groot keeps regrowing the sheriff’s badge.
Rewatching the recap at the beginning of the episode makes me realize they should have just gotten Frakes to voice Beyonder. He looks completely like a cross between Riker and Xanatos. It borders on eerie. I do not know why they didn’t just get Frakes when they gave the Beyonder that design.
I can’t grade an episode that treats blindness with the idea that it is merely a state of mind as anything but a fail. It means the writers don’t take the disability seriously. Do you know whose perspective we could have used? Daredevil. And the episode is worse without it. **.
Muppet Babies “Kermit’s Show And Tell”
I love that the animation makes Kermit’s skin look like felt. I also like that Fozzie’s fur is fully animated too.
Love the Mahna Mahna poster in the background.
Kermit’s pond is cute.
I’m gonna love this show. ****1/2.
Muppet Babies “Kermit And Piggy’s Show And Tell”
“Pirowhatsahumdehoo?” Great stuff.
And Baby Piggy is a nightmare. As she should be. ****1/2.
Muppet Babies “Summer’s Show And Tell”
Still not sold on Summer but I like Fozzie’s voice.
Animal’s reality has lapped Fozzie’s satire. ***1/2.
Muppet Babies “Fozzie’s Show And Tell”
Camilla’s real in this version! Sweet! She is so cute! And she wins all the staring contests because she doesn’t have eyelids, Gonzo, you dope! ****.
Muppet Babies “Piggy And Gonzo’s Show And Tell”
This series spends the proper amount of time having Gonzo shot out of cannons. The fact that the original series never did that borders on the criminal.
I also like that Gonzo and Piggy’s relationship is properly contentious, even if he doesn’t seem to be overtly in love with her here. ****.
Muppet Babies “Animal’s Show And Tell”
Not crazy about Animal’s outfit or the fact that Miss Nanny isn’t wearing green and white striped socks (when she does in the theme song). Those were the most memorable part of Nanny on the old show.
Like Gonzo’s cannon, it’s good the series is tying Animal more closely with the drums. I like that one of the cymbals has a bite taken out of it.
No Go-Bye-Bye? Uh oh. ***.
Muppet Babies “Piggy’s Show And Tell”
This gives us some idea about the Imagination segments.
Honestly? The original show’s ideas were better. The best thing about the original show was how they’d blend live-action clips and detailed illustrations or paintings to contrast with the Babies. It felt like the Babies actually entered an entirely different world. Now with more realistic animation, I don’t know how feasible this still is. But the dream sequences are certainly less memorable. **1/2.
Muppet Babies “Kermit And Fozzie’s Show And Tell”
They can’t fool me. I know Calvinball when I see it.
Kermit’s right. Raisins are gross. ****.
Muppet Babies “Gonzo’s Show And Tell”
I love the line “If you want to be launched out of a cannon right, you’ve gotta do it yourself.” The chicks were adorable too. The best of the shorts. *****.
Muppet Babies “The Great Muppet (Short) Musical Show And Tell”
Loved the picture of Scooter and Skeeter (so we know they are a thing). I also noticed pictures of Sweetums, an adult Lew Zealand with a mustache and kid versions of Dr. Teeth and the Swedish Chef without facial hair (as well as another look at the Manha Manha painting.
Am I the only one who thinks it’s inappropriate Statler and Waldorf heckle toddlers? It strikes me as unusually cruel, even for them.
Still not digging Nanny’s starred socks. Hopefully she doesn’t wear them all the time.
Great short to get a feel for the musical numbers. The imagination segments also look more stylized than they did in the Piggy short, so that gives me hope too. Promising. *****.
Muppet Babies “Theme Song”
Glad Nanny has green and white striped socks in this. She didn’t in the Animal and Musical shorts. I also hope the imagination segments look more like this and less like they did in the Piggy short. *****.
Elena Of Avalor “Rise Of The Sorceress”
I don’t believe I could do an in-depth review of this episode justice, so I’ll just say this: Elena’s horrified reaction to seeing Shuriki strut down those stairs was easily the best moment of the series so far. No contest. Nothing else I could possibly talk about this episode matters as much as that one moment. The episode automatically get five stars because of it. *****.
Elena Of Avalor: Scepter Training With Zuzo “Nothing But Blaze”
Elena And Matteo are totally Larry Bird trying to win the 2 dollar sandwich. ****.
Elena Of Avalor: Scepter Training With Zuzo “Stowaway”
I like the idea that the thief was the Cheech Marin Dragon guy the entire time. ****1/2.
Once Upon A Time “Secret Garden”
Oh, so this is the FINAL season? I’m grateful ABC canceled the show when they did. Now they have the lead-time to do a proper finale, which they wouldn’t have gotten of ABC axed the show at the last second in May. I’m glad about that.
How was the episode? Amazing. This has been the best season since the second, and the only season that has been any good besides the first and second ones. I’m even more grateful for the cancellation for this reason. The show has the proper chance to go out on top.
I don’t think Victoria redeemed herself in the way Rapunzel should have, but if this season IS the last, it’s not like there would be enough time to properly build up a redemption arc. This is probably the best we’re gonna do.
Who is the glove-handed killer? I would have loved that nurse to reveal the truth to Henry and Ella. Jer-ry! Jer-ry! Jer-ry!
I loved the stuff with Robin, and I love that we got the origin of the archer thing. I laughed at her teenage coven at the beginning. The show was poking fun of a very specific trope in that scene (teenagers summoning something they can’t control in a horror movie) and on a show with actual magic, it’s funny that they poked at it. The difference between Robin and her friends is that they know magic is an actual thing, so they should know better. And then they do it anyways. Which is what makes it funny. They are the kids in the Scream movies.
Great pathos with Nook (love the nickname, Zelina), and I can’t wait for him to find his daughter. You can tell Rumple wants to tell Hook more than he does, except he knows he’ll never believe him, and it’s better for the mission if Hook operates under the assumption that his partner is not a total loon.
I love Regina vowing to figure out a way to break the curse and save both Lucy and Henry. Lucy is safe, but Regina’s vow reminds me that the characters SHOULD be able to figure out a third option. And since Regina believes that now too, they will.
I loved the look on Victoria’s face when Druzilla reveals the lanterns were her idea. Her sacrificing herself for Druzilla seems a bit of a stretch after all of the horrible and dehumanizing things she’s said to her, but after that? Like, I GET it.
It makes total sense Victoria escaped from the well so easily. It’s not like Mother Gothel ever did a great job of keeping her prisoner.
Fabulous episode. I can’t wait for the finale. *****.
The X-Files “Rm9sbG93ZXJz”
An experimental X-Files episode! Co-written by Millennium’s Kristen Cloke! Lara Means lives!
So basically, what I’m seeing the trope is, is that Mulder and Scully communicate with each other non-verbally and verbally only rarely. Also no musical score past the teaser. And they don’t realize the AI is sinister until it is too late. And Mulder and Scully are the only characters until the end.
But as I was watching this episode, I realized I could not relate to the problems. This episode addressed the modern concerns of rich white people. I’m white but I’m poor, so I don’t get it. The closest thing to a smart device I own is my Blu-Ray player and my digital cable box. I don’t even own a cell phone. Scully has a computer in her refrigerator? Why? What possible use can it have there? I already thought the idea of somebody having a phone in the bathroom was weird.
I like that even though this is dealing with rich people problems, Mulder resents Scully is richer than him. He raises the question about why she has a nicer house than him. But the real question raised to me is how is it this is the first time he’s been over there?
The X-Files has one foot in science fiction, and one foot in reality. The AI bot that was created in 2016 and turned quickly into a racist troll was actually a thing. I was amazed at how ill-conceived an idea it was, and Chris Carter basically said, “That’s an entire episode.”
I like Mulder’s reaction to seeing the vibrator. It’s not like HE’S helping her out there anyways. Plus, all of the times she’s overlooked catching him watching porn, says he could cut her a little slack here.
I love that Scully’s password is Queequeg. I miss that dog. The Lockness Monster SUCKS.
This was a fun detour, but with only four episodes left, I’d wish they’d be leaner heavier into the mythology at this point. ****.
The Blacklist “Mr. Raleigh Sinclair III”
Interesting, to say the least, but I wouldn’t go so far as to call it good.
I don’t like Red letting the Blacklister go at the end. Harold seems happy enough with the evidence to convict all of his clients, but I’m not. The Alibi is a total scumbag, and deserved to serve time for every innocent person he killed. Red did very wrong here. I’m supposed to be moved that Red recovered Kahlil’s body and paid for a funeral, but he let his killer go free. I love the fact that Red sticks around after the funeral to comfort the woman, and I love that he’s the kind of guy who would ask her out for a fancy dinner at his house earlier to get her to talk, but he still did wrong by Kahlil.
The thing I hate most about the Alibi is that he is one of those people who makes life better for no-one. He contributes nothing to society, and makes everything worse for everyone. There are Blacklisters that I think are horrible, but the horrible things they do sometimes make sense and seem necessary. They break the law, but some of their crimes strike me as a counterbalance to the corrupt way the world works. That is not Sinclair. At all. And it’s not just that he gets paid top-dollar for his buttmunchery which is why I resent him. It’s also the fact that he puts so much thought and care into his efforts, and he is truly invested in the horrible thing he is doing. I don’t care if he suffers from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. He sucks. Even John Noble can’t get me to think this guy is anything by a turd.
I like the idea that the cop investigating Liz is clean after all. I objected to him seeming dirty last episode, and I like that instead Liz decides to trust him and let him into the crazy-sounding club. Unfortunately, because he is good (and also black) there is now a fictional target on his back. He will not survive the season.
I like that when Dolores offers Red raisin bread at the shelter he doesn’t “Another time, perhaps,” her. He’s all, “I would be delighted.” Which show why Red does as well as he does. He takes the time to not only make friends, but to work at the friendship. I don’t think it’s plausible he can possibly do this for the amount of friends it’s hinted he does this with, but there’s no logic to Santa either. I am willing “Just believe” this one thing because it strikes me as magical.
I hate the therapist. She basically tells Red to his face how much he sucks right when she meets him, which tells me she is terrible at her job. Not only because therapists are supposed to have a bit of diplomacy ingrained into them (by nature). But also because she didn’t realize that Liz actually LOVES her father, and isn’t interested in making excuses for that love, so she’s basically being rude to someone Liz actually cares about. And if the therapist actually has to be told at the end that Red has treated his own daughter decently, she needs to be in a different profession. She strikes me as a total quack.
Suffice it to say, that held my interest. But that doesn’t mean I like what I just saw. **1/2.
Blindspot "Warning Shot”
That was so great. Rich Dotcom was so much fun, especially the way he suddenly tricked himself into an invite to the party he wanted to go to. He was so funny, especially with the cocaine. He WOULD make the best dad ever. And he’s right that Jane is frightening and that’s why her daughter wants nothing to do with her. I barely do and she’s the main character on the show.
Love how the episode subversively gave Naz the win by having her steal the device. I can’t wait for Zapata’s secret, whatever it is, to come out. I can’t stand that chick. Why do I get the sneaking suspicion she is going to be the person who turns Mags in?
Naz is right. The reason Shepherd does anything is because she’s a sociopath. I love Naz unexpectedly kicking that guy’s @$$. Which reminded me that this is one of the first times we’ve actually seen Naz in the field.
I liked the stuff with Ronan. Really cool for change.
I love this episode. *****.
Upcoming reviews include Twin Peaks: The Return (Blu-Ray), Doctor Who: Series 9, Doctor Who: Series 10, Class: Series 1, The X-Files: Season 10, Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Ant-Man (Blu-Ray), Captain America: Civil War (Blu-Ray), Doctor Strange (Blu-Ray), Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 (Blu-Ray), Spider-Man: Homecoming (Blu-Ray), Luke Cage: Season 1, Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, Deadpool, X-Men: Apocalypse (Blu-Ray), Logan, The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes! Season 1, The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes! Season 2, Zootopia, Moana (Blu-Ray), Tangled: Before Ever After (DVD), DuckTales: Woo-oo (DVD), Inside Out (Blu-Ray), The Good Dinosaur (Blu-Ray), Finding Dory (Blu-Ray), Cars 3 (Blu-Ray), Coco (Blu-Ray), Once Upon A Time: Season 5, Once Upon A Time: Season 6, The BFG, Tomorrowland, Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Blu-Ray), Star Wars Rebels: Season 2, Lego Star Wars: Droid Tales, Lego Star Wars: The Freemaker Adventures: Season One, Jim Henson's Turkey Hollow (DVD), Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them (Blu-Ray), Static Shock: Season 3, Justice League Action: Superpowers Unite!, Teen Titans Go!: Get In Pig Out, Teen Titans Go!: Recess Is Over, DC Super Hero Girls: Intergalactic Games, LEGO DC Super Hero Girls: Brain Drain, The LEGO Batman Movie, LEGO DC Comics Super Heroes: The Flash, Batman Vs. Two-Face, Scooby Doo! & Batman: The Brave And The Bold, Batman: Gotham By Gaslight, Suicide Squad (Blu-Ray), Wonder Woman (Blu-Ray), The Flash: Season 2, The Flash: Season 3, Arrow: Season 4, Arrow: Season 5, DC's Legends Of Tomorrow: Season 1, DC's Legends Of Tomorrow: Season 2, Supergirl: Season 1, Supergirl: Season 2 Vixen: The Movie, Gotham: Season 2, Gotham: Season 3, iZombie: Season 1, iZombie: Season 2, iZombie: Season 3, Lucifer: Season 1, Lucifer: Season 2, Samurai Jack: Season 5, Be Cool Scooby Doo!: Spooky Kooky Fun!, Wabbit: A Looney Tunes Prod.: Hare-Raising Tales, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, The Simpsons: Season 18, Red Dwarf XII, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Beyond The Known Universe, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Earth's Last Stand, Tales Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Super Shredder, Tales Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Wanted: Bebop & Rocksteady, Tales Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Final Chapters, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Half-Shell Heroes: Blast To The Past, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows, Power Rangers (2017), Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Power Rangers: Megaforce: The Complete Season, Power Rangers: Super Megaforce: The Complete Season, Transformers: Robots In Disguise: Season 1, Heroes Reborn: The Complete Series, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, The Legend Of Korra: The Complete Series, The Ren And Stimpy Show: Seasons 1 & 2, The Ren And Stimpy Show: Seasons 3 and a Half-ish, The Ren And Stimpy Show: Season 5 & Some More Of 4, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Haven: The Final Season, The Dark Tower, IT, Under The Dome: Season 3, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Sleepy Hollow: Season 3, Sleepy Hollow: Season 4, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 3, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 4, Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), Shaun The Sheep: The Farmer's Llamas, 12 Monkeys: Season 1, 12 Monkeys: Season 2, Grimm: Season 4, Grimm: Season 5, Grimm: Season 6, The Wonder Years: Season 4, The Wonder Years: Season 5, The Wonder Years: Season 6, The Peanuts Movie, Peanuts By Schulz: Snoopy Tales, Peanuts By Schulz: Go Team Go!, Peanuts By Schulz: School Days, Bob's Burgers: Season 5, Home Movies: Seasons 1 & 2, Home Movies: Season 3 & 4, Ghostbusters: Answer The Call, Community: Season 6, Danger Mouse: The Complete Series, Game Of Thrones: Season 5, and Game of Thrones: Season 6.
Early Man
Strictly speaking, this was not all that great, but there were things I liked, and I ultimately liked more than I didn’t.
As far as I was concerned, that Bunny should have been the entire movie. Once again, Aardman rocking the snuggly bunnies. Curse Of The Were-Rabbit was NOT an aberration.
I like the pig who wanted to play football. I like the fact that the Queen turned out to be reasonable in the end, and that all of the people ultimately cheered and were rooting for the cavemen. I liked that snooty football player shaking Dug’s hand, and telling him he played a good game. And I liked the roach with sunglasses at the opening apocalypse.
I think the movie was a bit too crass for it’s own good, which was the same problem Pirates! had. That being said, Pirates was cleverly written, and this isn’t, so I had a bigger problem with it here. Part of the problem of doing a story about prehistoric man is that the characters are often not clever enough to be truly funny. People think stupidity is inherently funny, but I don’t agree with that, and never did.
This was a passable movie, but it’s the first passable Aardman movie ever. All the rest are great. You can point out Arthur Christmas to me, but as far as I was concerned, that was Aardman In Name Only. Nick Park actually directed something this boring. Which kind of bums me out. But it’s a little above average. If I were Siskel or Ebert, my thumb would be raised SLIGHTLY up. ***.
DC Super Hero Girls “Gone To The Dogs: Part 1”
Loved it. I laughed hard at the implication that Krypto sniffed Ace’s butt. Ace’s reaction to that was priceless too.
Ace throwing the tennis ball with a bored look on his face was fun, and I loved hearing a version of the classic Batman theme when seeing Barb ride the purple motorcycle.
This begs the question: Why does Ace wear a mask anyways? Is Barb truly worried about his face being ID-ed? This is about as ridiculous as that infamous episode of Cops that blurred out the face of the dog.
SO funny. ****1/2.
The Flash “Subject 9”
Y’know, I was enjoying the episode until they killed the Fiddler off. It was a mistake, and even if I won’t give the episode a negative score for it, it’s not a great episode anymore, and it could have been.
My problem with this episode and this season is the exact same problem as season three: Team Flash is not getting enough wins. Things are starting to feel hopeless. Not as hopeless and dark as season three. But despair should never be a prevailing mindset for a TV show featuring the Flash. Even one season of doing it was too much. But if this is the new normal, the show is worse for it.
I liked Iris saying to Ralph “You nasty.” Candice Patton is a beautiful, strong, black woman, and I love whenever the writers allow her to talk like one. That was hilarious.
I also appreciated Ralph hiring Barry at the end. It sort of made a perfect symmetry to not only how Ralph lost his job, but how he joined Team Flash too. And I love Barry making sure to point out that their situations were not actually equivalent, because Ralph DID actually break the law. That was kind of funny.
I love that Iris initially thinks Barry is being too hard on the Fiddler because he wants her to be a hero, and he reveals it’s simply because he knows what big a danger she is actually in. Honestly, I think Barry was right all along, and just because she made the bad decision to leave on her own, doesn’t mean Barry was responsible for her making that decision. A lot of it had to frankly do with ego, which is not something Barry has any control over. I love that Barry is the kind of wonderful guy who takes responsibility for the bad things that happen under his watch whenever he makes a decision. But that bad thing was not actually on him.
Mrs. Devoe suspects something is wrong with Devoe’s brainpower. I suspect she is right.
Harry’s stuff with Cecile was fun. I don’t much like Cecile, but she makes Harry uncomfortable. which is pretty much money in the bank comedy gold. Tom Cavanaugh is pretty much this show’s MVP for this reason.
Cisco says he can’t name the Meta Soundwave because Transformers came up with it first. But if Cisco NEVER named a Meta something that wasn’t previously named by a Transformer, I’d be shocked. They are all puns based upon metal gearhead things, and they are usually so simple that Hasbro cannot trademark them. You can’t trademark the name Jazz or Bumblebee. And there are hundreds of them And I would be surprised if Cisco never used a Transformer name. I’d be even MORE surprise if the Flash comics never used a name that was later used on Transformers either. Bumblebee IS a DC hero after all.
Seriously. Didn’t Cisco name a Meta Mirage at one point? Am I wrong in remembering that?
I would have loved the episode if it hadn’t wound up bumming me out so much. ***1/2.
Black Lightning “Three Sevens: The Book Of Thunder”
That episode pushed a LOT of buttons for me, and I was mostly happy with those buttons being pushed. Not completely though.
First off, all Confederate statues should be destroyed. They are obscene. And we’ve tolerated them for far too long. People defending them scream “heritage”, but that’s never been what it’s about, and I’m not going to give the racists who want to deliberately offend black people with the statues the cover to believe heritage has anything to do with it. Because if I found out my ancestor was in the Confederacy, I would be properly ashamed. I would not be celebrating my heritage and bragging about how honorable it was that my great, great grandfather betrayed his country for the right to own another human being. It’s weird that White Nationalists try to convince us our response should be any different. And I love that we’ve stopped refusing to give them cover about that. It’s about freaking time.
I liked Jefferson talking to Jennifer about how black people often resent other black people who are successful, and Jennifer’s all, “Nah, that backfired on her.” I love that the response from most of the kids in the school was to think that the bully was over the line, and that her thinking was harmful to all black people. And that’s something I love about this current generation, that I hate about all previous generations. Kids today stand up to bullies. For the first time ever. And it galls me that we elected the biggest bully ever President. We failed these amazing kids. But I sincerely do not see them ever failing us.
I love the look Anissa gives Jefferson in the last shot. She’s happy. Because it explains everything about herself immediately, including why she fights crime at all. And her entire quest during the first part of the season was all about getting those answers. And seeing her father in the Black Lightning costume explained everything. Immediately. That was joy on her face and I shared it.
I do not believe Gambi is keeping Tobias’ secret from Jefferson because he’s worried about his own dirty laundry coming out. I think it’s more that he made a promise to Lady Eve that ultimately protected the Pierces, and he’s going to live up to it.
Interestingly, even if that’s true, he should have told Jefferson the truth this episode. Things would have gone better for him. Just because Jefferson gave him the perfect opportunity to come clean. The tone of voice Jefferson used when he asked him “What aren’t you telling me?” suggested that Jefferson’s frame of mind was that he knew Gambi screwed him over somehow regarding information with Tobias, but if he admitted it right there, he’d forgive him. And Gambi is too dumb to take that opportunity for the gift it was. Now whatever the truth is, when it comes out (and it will), Jefferson is gonna be pissed as hell. And honestly? He’ll be right to be.
The Kahlil stuff is the one button the episode pressed that I felt didn’t work. If I were Jennifer, I would have lost him already. She feels bad, but she shouldn’t. Do you know the reason he went to that march? So he could get into her pants. That’s the only reason. He did not do that for her. He did that for himself. And he’s crazy to make Jennifer feel bad for it.
And frankly, Jennifer’s a young teenage girl. Her and Kahlil JUST started dating. She can’t be expected to give up her life for the guy the way a spouse whose loved one gets a spinal injury does. She is young and not THAT committed. She is under no obligation to stay. Especially if he’s bullying her and blaming her for it. She owes him less than Kahlil believes.
But Jennifer is not completely blameless in that scene. And it’s due to the show pushing the wrong political button. She says she’ll keep Kahlil in her prayers. A week and a half earlier I would not have objected to that line as much as I do now. Now I agree with Kahlil that her prayers are worthless.
Love that Henderson immediately suspects the chief is dirty, just because he got a tip he had no explanation for, and refused to explain it. Henderson is no dummy, and I like that about him.
I like that Jefferson is pissed Anissa used toy guns in front of cops. She downplays it as merely being water guns, but ask Tamir Rice about how great cops’ judgment is about stuff like that. “The Talk” all black fathers have to have with their children about the police was another political button the episode pushed, and it was one I liked.
The fact that Jefferson witnessed Tobias killing his father in the way he did made me totally get why he wanted to murder him. I actually don’t approve, but I like, GET it.
I love it whenever a show has the hero say, “I don’t want to hurt you. I want to help you.” That is the best line ever, and should be used more often than it is. What makes “No, WE did it!” so great anyways? THIS is the line that should be overused, not that one.
This show has the best episode titles.
Great episode. ****1/2.
Arrow “Collision Course”
The real Laurel isn’t dead? Bummer. I hated the character and hoped she would never return. Thanks for nothing, Arrow.
This episode was frustrating on every level. Every character pretty much sucked during that. And never shut it off.
Curtis sucked for deliberately hurting John. Oliver sucked for invading the Outsiders’ lair and letting things get as far as they did. Not to mentioning promising the city something he had no way of delivering. Dinah sucked for spending most of the episode as an attempted murderer. Quentin sucked because he’s dumb as hell. Felicity and Dig sucked for showing up at the hospital as if it weren’t completely inappropriate. And Rene especially sucks for shooting Felicity Freaking Smoak. I don’t care if he was hurt more, Felicity was unarmed, and he was shooting at his former friends as if guns were toys. He has MUCH more to be ashamed of than Oliver does.
Felicity also sucks because she bakes cookies. It doesn’t matter how kick-butt the female hero seems. And Felicity is unlike other kick-butt heroines in that she uses her brain entirely to kick butt, which is totally refreshing. But ultimately, it doesn’t matter. Every single genre show will find a way to domesticate heroines and have them bake cookies. It was a running joke on Justice League’s Legends that Black Siren’s entire job is baking cookies. In real-world genre, it’s actually a thing to watch out for. So yeah, here we are. Again, thanks for nothing, Arrow.
Did I mention I hated the episode? *.
Gotham “A Dark Knight: Pieces Of A Broken Mirror”
Underwhelming, but on this show, I’ll taking underwhelming and like it. This show is usually a hot mess freak show.
I will say this for this episode: The fact that Selina looks at Bruce as if he is a totally lame phony worthy of scorn, means the episode has SOME merit. No matter what else. Because Bruce sucks, and Selina is the only person willing to tell him that.
As for Alfred, he sucks for entirely different reasons. He didn’t kill Tiffany, but it’s his fault she’s dead. If he hadn’t attacked her boyfriend, she’d still be alive. Which is precisely why men should not violently insert themselves into that type of situation. If a woman is to leave an abuser, it is a tightrope to navigate. Giving the abuser an extra excuse to hurt the woman is a rookie mistake in dealing with people in this situation.
I am little amused and annoyed Harvey does not want to be Jim’s priest. If Jim himself were not stupid or a total loser, he would point that that’s a bartender’s freaking job! The bartender hears confessions the priests won’t. And it amazes me the show is dumb enough to have Harvey use THAT particular allegory without even realizing the specific reason it doesn’t fit at all. And it doesn’t. And the writers are dumb for both giving Harvey that specific job, and that specific line at the same time. I often think just based on the things I’ve seen in this show, that neither Bruno Heller or Danny Cannon have ever stepped outside into the real world. They certainly don’t act like they’ve ever bothered to watch a police procedural to get a feel for how fictional cops should actually act. And it’s stuff like this which shows the producers do no research for this show whatsoever.
The stuff with Butch is killing me. I think the show did very wrong by Drew Powell. See how amazing he is? But Grundy as Butch cannot last for long. By design. Which sucks. Powell is the most talented cast member, and instead of Grundy being a reward for that, it’s a waste of his talents. If this show has a positive asset, whether it’s Clare Foley as Ivy, Moroni, Jerome, Butch, Don Falcone, it doesn’t matter. If the character is awesome, they are killed off or recast. And at least we got Jerome back. But the writers never should have been dumb enough to kill him off in the first place. Powell almost has it worse than everybody, because he’s present for them ruining Butch like this. And it sucks.
It’s for this reason I don’t expect Victor Zsasz to survive the season. Anthony Corrigan made a fatal mistake when playing him: He is far too awesome for this show. I predict he is on a clock. Gotham is like the first season of Big Brother. They get rid of all of the interesting people first.
Speaking of which, that ad for the Siren Club? SUCKED. I can actually picture Barbara starring in a pervy 1-900 number type of commercial like that. But Selina and Tabitha? This show does not respect its actresses, and that is proof. How humiliating and out of character for the both of them.
Ed hiring the hit makes sense, and is good, because it’s an added wrinkle that can’t be solved in one week. Which is the mark of a good plot turn.
“Fascinating!” is the wrong descriptor Lucius. More like “gross” and “frightening”.
I love that Harvey still prefers heavyset women. I especially love that the Bordello has a couple on call just for him.
Do you know what I love about Lee’s reunion with Jim? She’s not damaged about it. She doesn’t seem to like him much, but she’s being perfectly cordial and friendly, and this seems to be the first time the series has given her this amount of grace. But the fact that it took this long for the show not to act like Lee was the bad guy for being mad that Jim murdered her husband because he was jealous of him, is another reason I think the actresses on this show are so mistreated.
Not a terrible episode of quite a terrible series. ***.
Unikitty “The Zone”
I liked the jokes that Richard’s favorite part of the game was the intricate instruction manual, and that Richard didn’t feel any different by being pixelated. ***.
Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. “All The Comforts Of Home”
I have basically spent every waking second since Age Of Ulron cursing Joss Whedon’s name, and disavowing the fact that I used to be the hugest Buffyverse fan ever. Read my posts from Toon Zone back in the day. I was in love. But since Ultron, Joss has been on my poop list. But... one thing I have made sure to do is give Agents Of SHIELD a fair shake. Joss has practically nothing to do with it, at least not anymore, so I should keep that in mind when I feel a bit disappointed.
Except, it’s not just Joss Whedon. It’s the entire Mutant Enemy studio. I finished watching this episode with an appalled look on my face, and I realized this garbage is classic Mutant Enemy. Joss Whedon, Marti Noxon, it doesn’t ultimately matter who is showrunner. The basic philosophy is to take a fun premise and in the fourth, fifth, or sixth season turn the show into unending misery, and make it completely impossible to enjoy. Fans grumble that Firefly was canceled too soon, but after seeing this, I am convinced that if it HAD turned into a long-running series, we would have wound up hating it unreservedly. And judging by the reported upcoming plot of Inara being gang-raped by Reavers, I know I would have personally wound up detesting Firefly if they had actually gotten the chance to do that. And it’s only because they were canceled they didn’t. That didn’t actually strike ultra feminist Joss Whedon as something even slightly over the line and unacceptable? I would more readily accept Joss as an ally for feminists if he weren’t routinely punishing women for the sin of having a sex drive. But it’s not just punishing women for their sexuality. It’s punishing them for being bad@$$ in the first place. And that’s not just Joss. It’s the nature of Mutant Enemy. Take anything slightly positive about a franchise, and make it completely suck. It infects that entire d*mn production company. If and when this show goes off the air, it’s pretty much “Good riddance,” for me. The only reason I’m still here are the loose MCU connections. If it weren’t already tied to a franchise I was invested in for other reasons, I would be gone by now.
Seriously. What good came from cutting off Yoyo’s arms? Just because it happened in the comics? I don’t care! Comics suck for repeatedly violently violating women! That doesn’t mean the show should! Truthfully, I actually liked the fact that she was Kasius’s oracle at first, because she struck me as the team member least suited for that. Every other member of the team has some tie to some vaguely epic sense of mythology, and Yoyo’s just the random chick who survived long enough to become a series regular. I liked the idea of her becoming the most epic SHIELD team member ever, because that has never been what she’s been about.
But I do not need to see a woman suffering from a horribly violent act on-screen. It hurts. It isn’t entertaining or interesting. It’s miserable, and makes the season feel even more hopeless than when they were in the future (which is a trick).
Patrick Warburton was wasted, but maybe that was the only way they could hire somebody goofy like that.
I guess I need to talk about the couple of positives this episode. There was a brief throwaway joke I loved: The idea that Enoch was supposedly “reckless”. What’s so hilarious is that the new robot guy says it as if it were patently obvious instead of utterly ridiculous. That was a great joke that deserved to be told in a better episode.
The second thing I loved was Deke’s reactions to being in the past. A tree is the most amazing thing in the world to him, and he is so excited to see an ice cream cone in the garbage, he is about to eat it before the writers remember he should be treated with a shred of dignity. He is an entirely different character than the skeezy hard@$$ we knew. And it’s instantaneous. This is the first time in his entire life he’s been happy, and it was a rare joy of this episode to be able to witness and share that. It reminds me of the Farscape episode where John Crichton returned to Earth, and starting dreamily guzzling milk as if it were nectar from the Gods. What is ordinary for one person is amazing to one who has lived without it. And if there has ever been a better product placement for Zima, I haven’t seen it. I liked that the bartender seemed kinda of nice. He (rightly) called the cops, but he wasn’t a d!ck about it or anything. I wish this episode was entirely this.
Unforunately, it was more Coulson declaring he didn’t care about the fate of the world upon bringing Daisy back, only to have Yoyo disfigured by the end of the episode. Can you believe this? I am fed up with Phil Freaking Coulson. I would prefer if “The Glue” was actually killed off as Future-Yoyo suggested to prevent what is coming. He deserves it for not even bothering to care.
Screw Piper! It’s her own fault for being stupid enough to fall for Hale’s nonsense. Yoyo’s injury was as much her fault as it was Coulson’s.
This episode is what Mutant Enemy does. Create a likable show you enjoy following for the first couple of seasons, then turn the characters detestable and punish the ones who don’t completely suck. For supposedly being a writer who doesn’t give audiences what they want, but what they “need”, it’s surprising this is supposedly the Joss Whedon philosophy. Because Joss doesn’t know what I need, and never did. And he certainly never delivered it. I have defended this production company for years simply based on the fact that Buffy’s “Becoming, Part 2” was the most amazing hour of television I had ever seen up to that point, and somebody who made something that great OBVIOUSLY had to know what they were doing long-term. “Becoming” is still amazing, but I now think Joss Whedon is a hack, and has been coasting on that episode for his entire career. And I’m done pretending Mutant Enemy is anything but a dumpster fire garbage company investing in hurting its loyal fans and the people who have been following their shows over the years. And I’m done falling for it just because the characters talk cute and there is the occasional funny plot twist. It’s unending misery otherwise, and if it isn’t starting off, it eventually will be. I hated this episode and I can safely say I hate this series. Deek’s stuff was probably worth a single star, but I’m so angry, I’m not even giving the episode that. 0.
Marvel’s Avengers: Secret Wars “Weirdworld”
Wow, that was quite an episode. An amazing episode to be sure, but I don’t exactly like what I learned.
Bruce Banner is detestable. And I didn’t know that until this week. But it seems kind of obvious. Honestly, Carol was right about something. Natasha doesn’t talk enough. And it is very clear that Natasha instantly grokked that there wasn’t actually a problem with the Hulk. There was a problem with Banner. And if she could have articulated that to Carol immediately, I’m not saying things would have gone down easier for Carol, but they certainly would have been less confusing.
Carol seems to be under the impression that they are going to go back with Banner and leave the Hulk behind. But Natasha is the only person there who knows that is not what is going to happen. Every surprise twist about Banner’s irrational behavior doesn’t surprise her at all. She sees what is happening coming a mile away. She could have shared and not only saved Carol some grief, but perhaps Bruce too.
And Bruce sucks. I am SO annoyed at him taking credit for the positive and heroic aspects of the Hulk. Because there was only one person fighting for the kill in that tussle. And it wasn’t the Hulk. The Hulk actually tried to calm him down and said the unthinkable: That they are the same person. And they’ve never been treated as such in most projects, and I like that by the end of the episode they sort of shook things up to the point where both Hulk and Bruce were willing to acknowledge that fact.
But seriously, Bruce is dumb for thinking he controlled the Hulk’s heroic aspects. Because his entire mantra is that the Hulk can’t be controlled. And then he qualifies, “Well, only by me.” But I think he was right the first time. And all throughout the episode while he was trying to kill the Hulk, and the Hulk was defensively fighting with the explicit intent never to hurt Bruce, tells me that not only is Hulk a better person than Bruce, he’s actually a smarter one too. So, yeah, Bruce gets no credit for Hulk’s virtue. If he was truly controlling things, Hulk would be a bad guy.
Can I just point out the specific reason Bruce sucks so much? He was acting so deranged during the episode, that I was sure Morgain Le Fey put a mind control spell on him. But it turns out that was all him? He totally sucks.
I love the designs on the Birdsqautch and The Very Bad Horsemen.
As I said, that was quite an episode. But I’m about as ticked off by what I just saw as I was amazed. I’m going to grade it as amazing, but I usually don’t simultaneously hate things I grade this highly. ****1/2.
Marvel’s Avengers: Secret Wars “Westland”
Here is the specific reason the episode doesn’t hold together. Hawkeye should not be as good an archer blind as he is. Batman can function blind or at diminished capacity because he trained himself for that. Hawkeye instantly claims his skills are useless without his eyes, which says he never trained for this scenario. And then he turns out to be a competent archer after all.
I’m calling b.s.. That is a particular skill-set that takes practice. You can’t simply do it with an encouraging word from Wasp and a good helping of Believing In Yourself. That’s not how it works. And the episode is worse because of it.
I don’t even know why they bothered blinding Hawkeye. It’s not like the episode wasn’t already filled with twists. I mean, Rocket and Groot? Jane Foster? Devil Freaking Dinosaur? Hawkeye’s illogical blindness is even worse when you realize they didn’t even actually need to do it to keep things interesting. This was pretty much the most eclectic roster of heroes I could have pictured.
Jane’s scene with Loki at the end annoyed me. But I’ll talk more about why in the coming weeks.
That “I am Groot” / “I am Vision” thing got old QUICK. Rocket seems to convey the proper level of annoyance for me, which is strange because he actually understands them both. But it is super annoying.
Laughed at the gag at the end of Rocket being mad when Groot keeps regrowing the sheriff’s badge.
Rewatching the recap at the beginning of the episode makes me realize they should have just gotten Frakes to voice Beyonder. He looks completely like a cross between Riker and Xanatos. It borders on eerie. I do not know why they didn’t just get Frakes when they gave the Beyonder that design.
I can’t grade an episode that treats blindness with the idea that it is merely a state of mind as anything but a fail. It means the writers don’t take the disability seriously. Do you know whose perspective we could have used? Daredevil. And the episode is worse without it. **.
Muppet Babies “Kermit’s Show And Tell”
I love that the animation makes Kermit’s skin look like felt. I also like that Fozzie’s fur is fully animated too.
Love the Mahna Mahna poster in the background.
Kermit’s pond is cute.
I’m gonna love this show. ****1/2.
Muppet Babies “Kermit And Piggy’s Show And Tell”
“Pirowhatsahumdehoo?” Great stuff.
And Baby Piggy is a nightmare. As she should be. ****1/2.
Muppet Babies “Summer’s Show And Tell”
Still not sold on Summer but I like Fozzie’s voice.
Animal’s reality has lapped Fozzie’s satire. ***1/2.
Muppet Babies “Fozzie’s Show And Tell”
Camilla’s real in this version! Sweet! She is so cute! And she wins all the staring contests because she doesn’t have eyelids, Gonzo, you dope! ****.
Muppet Babies “Piggy And Gonzo’s Show And Tell”
This series spends the proper amount of time having Gonzo shot out of cannons. The fact that the original series never did that borders on the criminal.
I also like that Gonzo and Piggy’s relationship is properly contentious, even if he doesn’t seem to be overtly in love with her here. ****.
Muppet Babies “Animal’s Show And Tell”
Not crazy about Animal’s outfit or the fact that Miss Nanny isn’t wearing green and white striped socks (when she does in the theme song). Those were the most memorable part of Nanny on the old show.
Like Gonzo’s cannon, it’s good the series is tying Animal more closely with the drums. I like that one of the cymbals has a bite taken out of it.
No Go-Bye-Bye? Uh oh. ***.
Muppet Babies “Piggy’s Show And Tell”
This gives us some idea about the Imagination segments.
Honestly? The original show’s ideas were better. The best thing about the original show was how they’d blend live-action clips and detailed illustrations or paintings to contrast with the Babies. It felt like the Babies actually entered an entirely different world. Now with more realistic animation, I don’t know how feasible this still is. But the dream sequences are certainly less memorable. **1/2.
Muppet Babies “Kermit And Fozzie’s Show And Tell”
They can’t fool me. I know Calvinball when I see it.
Kermit’s right. Raisins are gross. ****.
Muppet Babies “Gonzo’s Show And Tell”
I love the line “If you want to be launched out of a cannon right, you’ve gotta do it yourself.” The chicks were adorable too. The best of the shorts. *****.
Muppet Babies “The Great Muppet (Short) Musical Show And Tell”
Loved the picture of Scooter and Skeeter (so we know they are a thing). I also noticed pictures of Sweetums, an adult Lew Zealand with a mustache and kid versions of Dr. Teeth and the Swedish Chef without facial hair (as well as another look at the Manha Manha painting.
Am I the only one who thinks it’s inappropriate Statler and Waldorf heckle toddlers? It strikes me as unusually cruel, even for them.
Still not digging Nanny’s starred socks. Hopefully she doesn’t wear them all the time.
Great short to get a feel for the musical numbers. The imagination segments also look more stylized than they did in the Piggy short, so that gives me hope too. Promising. *****.
Muppet Babies “Theme Song”
Glad Nanny has green and white striped socks in this. She didn’t in the Animal and Musical shorts. I also hope the imagination segments look more like this and less like they did in the Piggy short. *****.
Elena Of Avalor “Rise Of The Sorceress”
I don’t believe I could do an in-depth review of this episode justice, so I’ll just say this: Elena’s horrified reaction to seeing Shuriki strut down those stairs was easily the best moment of the series so far. No contest. Nothing else I could possibly talk about this episode matters as much as that one moment. The episode automatically get five stars because of it. *****.
Elena Of Avalor: Scepter Training With Zuzo “Nothing But Blaze”
Elena And Matteo are totally Larry Bird trying to win the 2 dollar sandwich. ****.
Elena Of Avalor: Scepter Training With Zuzo “Stowaway”
I like the idea that the thief was the Cheech Marin Dragon guy the entire time. ****1/2.
Once Upon A Time “Secret Garden”
Oh, so this is the FINAL season? I’m grateful ABC canceled the show when they did. Now they have the lead-time to do a proper finale, which they wouldn’t have gotten of ABC axed the show at the last second in May. I’m glad about that.
How was the episode? Amazing. This has been the best season since the second, and the only season that has been any good besides the first and second ones. I’m even more grateful for the cancellation for this reason. The show has the proper chance to go out on top.
I don’t think Victoria redeemed herself in the way Rapunzel should have, but if this season IS the last, it’s not like there would be enough time to properly build up a redemption arc. This is probably the best we’re gonna do.
Who is the glove-handed killer? I would have loved that nurse to reveal the truth to Henry and Ella. Jer-ry! Jer-ry! Jer-ry!
I loved the stuff with Robin, and I love that we got the origin of the archer thing. I laughed at her teenage coven at the beginning. The show was poking fun of a very specific trope in that scene (teenagers summoning something they can’t control in a horror movie) and on a show with actual magic, it’s funny that they poked at it. The difference between Robin and her friends is that they know magic is an actual thing, so they should know better. And then they do it anyways. Which is what makes it funny. They are the kids in the Scream movies.
Great pathos with Nook (love the nickname, Zelina), and I can’t wait for him to find his daughter. You can tell Rumple wants to tell Hook more than he does, except he knows he’ll never believe him, and it’s better for the mission if Hook operates under the assumption that his partner is not a total loon.
I love Regina vowing to figure out a way to break the curse and save both Lucy and Henry. Lucy is safe, but Regina’s vow reminds me that the characters SHOULD be able to figure out a third option. And since Regina believes that now too, they will.
I loved the look on Victoria’s face when Druzilla reveals the lanterns were her idea. Her sacrificing herself for Druzilla seems a bit of a stretch after all of the horrible and dehumanizing things she’s said to her, but after that? Like, I GET it.
It makes total sense Victoria escaped from the well so easily. It’s not like Mother Gothel ever did a great job of keeping her prisoner.
Fabulous episode. I can’t wait for the finale. *****.
The X-Files “Rm9sbG93ZXJz”
An experimental X-Files episode! Co-written by Millennium’s Kristen Cloke! Lara Means lives!
So basically, what I’m seeing the trope is, is that Mulder and Scully communicate with each other non-verbally and verbally only rarely. Also no musical score past the teaser. And they don’t realize the AI is sinister until it is too late. And Mulder and Scully are the only characters until the end.
But as I was watching this episode, I realized I could not relate to the problems. This episode addressed the modern concerns of rich white people. I’m white but I’m poor, so I don’t get it. The closest thing to a smart device I own is my Blu-Ray player and my digital cable box. I don’t even own a cell phone. Scully has a computer in her refrigerator? Why? What possible use can it have there? I already thought the idea of somebody having a phone in the bathroom was weird.
I like that even though this is dealing with rich people problems, Mulder resents Scully is richer than him. He raises the question about why she has a nicer house than him. But the real question raised to me is how is it this is the first time he’s been over there?
The X-Files has one foot in science fiction, and one foot in reality. The AI bot that was created in 2016 and turned quickly into a racist troll was actually a thing. I was amazed at how ill-conceived an idea it was, and Chris Carter basically said, “That’s an entire episode.”
I like Mulder’s reaction to seeing the vibrator. It’s not like HE’S helping her out there anyways. Plus, all of the times she’s overlooked catching him watching porn, says he could cut her a little slack here.
I love that Scully’s password is Queequeg. I miss that dog. The Lockness Monster SUCKS.
This was a fun detour, but with only four episodes left, I’d wish they’d be leaner heavier into the mythology at this point. ****.
The Blacklist “Mr. Raleigh Sinclair III”
Interesting, to say the least, but I wouldn’t go so far as to call it good.
I don’t like Red letting the Blacklister go at the end. Harold seems happy enough with the evidence to convict all of his clients, but I’m not. The Alibi is a total scumbag, and deserved to serve time for every innocent person he killed. Red did very wrong here. I’m supposed to be moved that Red recovered Kahlil’s body and paid for a funeral, but he let his killer go free. I love the fact that Red sticks around after the funeral to comfort the woman, and I love that he’s the kind of guy who would ask her out for a fancy dinner at his house earlier to get her to talk, but he still did wrong by Kahlil.
The thing I hate most about the Alibi is that he is one of those people who makes life better for no-one. He contributes nothing to society, and makes everything worse for everyone. There are Blacklisters that I think are horrible, but the horrible things they do sometimes make sense and seem necessary. They break the law, but some of their crimes strike me as a counterbalance to the corrupt way the world works. That is not Sinclair. At all. And it’s not just that he gets paid top-dollar for his buttmunchery which is why I resent him. It’s also the fact that he puts so much thought and care into his efforts, and he is truly invested in the horrible thing he is doing. I don’t care if he suffers from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. He sucks. Even John Noble can’t get me to think this guy is anything by a turd.
I like the idea that the cop investigating Liz is clean after all. I objected to him seeming dirty last episode, and I like that instead Liz decides to trust him and let him into the crazy-sounding club. Unfortunately, because he is good (and also black) there is now a fictional target on his back. He will not survive the season.
I like that when Dolores offers Red raisin bread at the shelter he doesn’t “Another time, perhaps,” her. He’s all, “I would be delighted.” Which show why Red does as well as he does. He takes the time to not only make friends, but to work at the friendship. I don’t think it’s plausible he can possibly do this for the amount of friends it’s hinted he does this with, but there’s no logic to Santa either. I am willing “Just believe” this one thing because it strikes me as magical.
I hate the therapist. She basically tells Red to his face how much he sucks right when she meets him, which tells me she is terrible at her job. Not only because therapists are supposed to have a bit of diplomacy ingrained into them (by nature). But also because she didn’t realize that Liz actually LOVES her father, and isn’t interested in making excuses for that love, so she’s basically being rude to someone Liz actually cares about. And if the therapist actually has to be told at the end that Red has treated his own daughter decently, she needs to be in a different profession. She strikes me as a total quack.
Suffice it to say, that held my interest. But that doesn’t mean I like what I just saw. **1/2.
Blindspot "Warning Shot”
That was so great. Rich Dotcom was so much fun, especially the way he suddenly tricked himself into an invite to the party he wanted to go to. He was so funny, especially with the cocaine. He WOULD make the best dad ever. And he’s right that Jane is frightening and that’s why her daughter wants nothing to do with her. I barely do and she’s the main character on the show.
Love how the episode subversively gave Naz the win by having her steal the device. I can’t wait for Zapata’s secret, whatever it is, to come out. I can’t stand that chick. Why do I get the sneaking suspicion she is going to be the person who turns Mags in?
Naz is right. The reason Shepherd does anything is because she’s a sociopath. I love Naz unexpectedly kicking that guy’s @$$. Which reminded me that this is one of the first times we’ve actually seen Naz in the field.
I liked the stuff with Ronan. Really cool for change.
I love this episode. *****.