Twin Peaks "The Return: Parts 1-4" Review (MAJOR SPOILERS!)
Big TV and DVD review week.
Also reviews for the latest episodes of Doctor Who, Class, Justice League Action, and DC Super Hero Girls, the last two episodes of the season of Supergirl, the latest episodes of The Flash, Arrow, Gotham, Lucifer, and iZombie, the series finale of Samurai Jack, the season finales of Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Once Upon A Time, the latest episodes of Tangled: Short Cuts and Transformers: Robots In Disguise: Combiner Force, and the season finale of The Simpsons.
Twin Peaks "The Return: Parts 1 and 2"
That was unlike any Twin Peaks I've ever seen.
I promised myself before I wrote this review, that I wouldn't be overly generous simply because I love the franchise so much, and am so glad to have it back. But I also reminded myself that David Lynch constructed this as an 18 hour movie, so I probably should also keep an open mind about things I don't like. They may be important later.
This is very different than both the ABC show and Fire Walk With Me. The ABC show, as much as it seemed to take its time, at least compared to the rest of television of that era, is incredibly fast paced compared to this. Here, Lynch REALLY takes his time and has various unrelated scenes not only in Twin Peaks, but in other places across America. I don't know how all of these things tie in together yet. But I'm confident they will. It sounds crazy, but I trust David Lynch for the first time in my life. Because he's working with Mark Frost. That guy grounded him more than at any other point in his career.
Despite the nudity and F bombs, it is also unlike Fire Walk With Me. This has a VERY cohesive narrative, while FWWM was pretty dreamlike, and sort of did it's own thing compared to the rest of the series. The relaunch is MUCH more grounded as of now.
Love the new main title. LOVE it. It feels appropriate to have the red curtains along with the waterfall.
I love that Jerry Horne is now a dippy, pot smoking hippie. That sounds about right.
The Arm electric fetus tree was bizarre, like a Christmas tree from Hell, and even if I woulda preferred Michael J. Anderson back, I cannot deny it made an impression. The glass box did too.
How is Kyle McLachlan as Evil Coop? The brief times we saw Coop's doppelganger on the old show, he was out of control and crazy. This one strikes me as every bit as evil, but he's in control of himself, probably for the same reason Leland outwardly appeared that way to others before Laura's death. And he dresses like Bob.
Interesting that the Log Lady clearly has cancer. Kudos to David Lynch for not making Catherin E. Coulson wear a wig as she was dying. He wrote it into the story, which is fabulous.
There are now two Sheriff Trumans. One of them is sick, and one of them is fishing. What does that mean?
Upon ??????'s incomprehensible spiel in The Black Lodge, Agent Cooper says "I understand." Which nobody anywhere said about Twin Peaks ever.
The alien showing up first and killing the couple having sex tells me that the UFO mythology with Dougie Milford and Major Briggs as seen in Mark Frost's novel The Secret History of Twin Peaks, is going to be a major plot-thread. Which again tells me that the mythology of this show back in the day, probably held up to scrutiny. Answers existed to the big stuff. We just never got them.
The White Horse makes an appearance in the Black Lodge, which tells me that even if it didn't mean anything in the first regular episode, it does now. Which is good.
I swooned at Madeline Zima's nude scene. She is quite beautiful, in a way she never was on Heroes. She's grown into herself in a way she never was as a child and teenage actress. I always tend to think that the older a woman gets, the better she tends to look. That happened to Zima here, and franky, Madchen Amick.
Phillip Jeffries is still a factor, and Mr. C is in contact with him, wherever he is. Although since David Bowie is dead, we obviously won't see him (or Major Briggs) again. But I don't think he is who was on the other end of that phone call.
The police in South Dakota was super interesting once they got into the apartment, but that fat woman neighbor was SO freaking annoying. David Lynch creates amazingly stupid people in many of his projects. Stupid beyond belief and all recognition or credibility. And it's always funny.
Bill claiming he didn't kill the woman, but had a dream that he did, suggests that maybe Mr. C is possessing him on the side. Is that possible? And what happens to Evil Coop in the meantime?
One thing I notice. Mr. C likes his coffee. I did not miss that. As unlike Dale as he seems, he still has many similarities.
I am not only amazed that Mr. C played with that guy's cheeks like that, but that he sat there and took it. For a LONG time.
Nice to see Sarah Palmer still has empty the ridiculous amount of cigarette butts in the cartoonishly huge ashtray.
Who was the ash guy in the prison who blew up in smoke?
What is Jacque Renoit doing alive at the Road House?
Love the tribute to Catherine E Coulson and Frank Silva.
We are in for quite a return. ****1/2.
Twin Peaks "The Return: Part 3"
"Jade's taking you for TWO rides!" Classic.
Also great was "Do chocolate bunnies have something to do with you heritage?" "It's not about the bunnies... Is it? No, it's NOT about the bunnies."
I love that Coop is now insane. 25 years in the Black Lodge'll do that to a fella. I knew he was going to win all of those jackpots. I knew it.
The visuals at the beginning were bizarre. What was that place? Who was the lady with no eyes? Intriguing stuff.
I do not get what the deal with Dougie was, or how Mr. C could have possibly manufactured him. But he did what he was meant to: took Bob's place in the Black Lodge. I'm glad about that. I wouldn't feel right unless it was Dale himself who took down Mr. C.
That was some interesting looking vomit.
Return of the Blue Rose.
That case at FBI headquarter looked both incredibly weird, and incredibly pervy.
I loved the tribute to Don S. Davis and Miguel Ferrer too.
Gettin' good. ****.
Twin Peaks: "The Return: Part 4"
I love Coop's reaction to hot coffee. And his first thumbs up in 25 years.
Speaking of which, I loved his reaction to urinating for the first time in 25 years. He had a similar reaction in his autobiography after going without that for as long as possible, as an experiment when he was younger, and claimed it was a good substitute for sex.
When the casino owner leans forward and tells Coop "I look forward to seeing you again ANYTIME," that was LITERALLY the last thing I expected him to say.
The scene of Gordon and Albert at the end, shows that Twin Peaks is filled with more actual legitimate dramatic scenes than the rest of Lynch's projects, and wasn't always weirdness for the sake of weirdness. Both Cole's and Albert's worried reactions resonated with me.
Do you know what didn't? Them watching Tanya's butt as she went to the diner. I get that the old show had jokes like that ALL the time, but this is 2017. They are no longer acceptable.
Speaking of which, Denise's "balls of steel" line hints she is still pre-op 25 years later. What's the hold-up?
Did Lucy huff paint when she was pregnant with Wally? Because he seems dumber than both of his parents combined. Michael Cera has never been more annoying. Which is saying something.
Also, how does Lucy not get cell phones? That's another joke that I don't think is acceptable in 2017.
Clever to hint that OUR Sheriff Truman is merely sick. That way, if Michael Ontkean changes his mind about future projects, he can come back. That was VERY considerate. Most TV shows would have simply killed the character off. David Lynch is not most TV producers.
Is Naomi Watts destined to only fall in love with amnesiacs carrying large amounts of money in a bag? She definitely has a type.
Chad is a buttwipe.
Bobby's a cop! I love that he cries upon seeing Laura's picture. And Laura's Theme plays! That is consistent with him on the old show. The Secret History Of Twin Peaks hinted that Coop's Doppelganger murdered Major Briggs. Bobby's story about the fire here sort of confirms that idea, if not explicitly. We'll see.
Honestly, I would prefer they ended the episodes with Laura Palmer's Theme to her high school picture. The musical numbers at the Road House are not cutting it for me.
This show is still amazing 25 years later. ****.
Doctor Who "Extremis"
Knew it was Missy. I guess Twelve's blindness is permanent.
One good thing about the Doctor being fake is that he didn't blow through all of his regenerations after all.
My favorite scene is Nardole telling Bill that if she doesn't follow his orders he'll kick her @$$, her asking if he's a secret bad@$$, him saying "Nothing secret about it, Baby", and then squealing like a mouse when something scares him.
Holo-Twelve's solution to send an email was absolutely brilliant, although I couldn't really tell where the fake Doctor stuff began and ended.
Pretty good episode that promises even better things to come. ***1/2.
Class "Detained"
Mediocre bottle episode.
I dislike the fact that Tanya is a secret racist.
This episode states a truth about Narnia: the ending is b.s.. Susan doesn't get to go to Heaven because she wears make-up? What kind of jive is that?
Ironically, the last couple of minutes with Quill were the only interesting thing in the episode. I will probably enjoy next week, (which seems to be operating on a parallel timeframe) much more. *1/2.
Justice League Action "Rage Of The Red Lanterns"
Interestingly enough, the Red Lanterns on this show aren't actually criminals. Heck, they aren't even explicitly villains. They try to take possession of Lobo through legal channels before things go sideways.
Is the kitty Red Lantern from the comics? Because that's pretty much adorable.
Loved the look of disappointment on the Goat Red Lanterner's face upon realizing he didn't have a leaguer to monologue solidarity to.
What Lobo just said WOULD make a great name for a band.
Batman's idea of a good day is spending time in a lab. Bruce Wayne is SUCH a nerd.
Pretty great. ****.
DC Super Hero Girls "Wildside, Part 2"
Beast of wrinkled adorableness? The elephant isn't the only adorable person in this cartoon.
Like Vixen too. ***1/2.
Supergirl "Resist"
Wow, the Trump Administration just took a HUGE pounding in that episode. Were I Republican viewers, I'd be quite p*ssed off. I'm on the right side of the issue, so it didn't offend me, but the specific talking points the episode used to say Trump's Make America Great propaganda is like Rhea and the Daxamites, having a Hillary Clinton stand-in be a great president ("I'm so glad I voted for her"), and Cat Grant's insanely timely advice to "Resist", that's just this show unapologetically giving the middle finger to Red States. I like it, but I don't know how smart it is to rub half of your audience's face in how much they suck. I mean, I think they personally suck, but I sure as heck would be hesitant to so brazenly voice that opinion on national television using my real name. There are some dangerous goofballs out there. This episode was fearless in a way Arrow's gun control sermonizing was not.
Just based on the actions of the President, Earth 18 is a better Earth than ours. And I think that's deliberately the entire subtext of the episode, which is again kind of fearless, and possibly kind of foolish.
Next week's episode title is "Still, She Persisted". NOT subtle where this show stands. At all.
"Please at least tell me you are actually a Democrat." That is not just the greatest line of the episode. It is not just the greatest line of the season. It is not just the greatest line of the series. It's possibly the greatest line of the entire Arrowverse. I'm not joking. The Arrowverse ain't exactly known for clever dialogue, so I can safely say that's the best joke they've ever done. It's possible Constantine has had a better line on his distantly related show. But I can't remember it off the top of my head.
Okay, having Cat instantly know it's Jimmy means that if she DOESN'T know it's Kara next week, the show doesn't think much of her. She can see her eyes through the glasses, you moron.
Do you know what I love about Cat's female empowerment moment on Air Force One? Supergirl ain't a part of it. Cat believes the most powerful women on Earth are Rhea, the President, and herself. That's more than a little bit awesome.
Is it weird that I find Lynda Carter hotter than Teri Hatcher and Calista Flockhart? It's not, right? I can't be the only person to think she looks like a million bucks.
I loved Alex shooting that gun and jumping out the window in slo-mo bullet time. That move means a finale is a comin'! That was super sweet.
Speaking of which, I wasn't surprised by Superman, but I would have been more ticked than anything if they hadn't come up with a decent reason why he didn't show up. Once they introduced him in the premiere, he should have had a bigger presence on the series than he ultimately did.
I admire this episode's convictions. But like Bart Simpson said on the chalkboard after South Park's Mohammed flap: "We'd stand with you, South Park, if we weren't so scared." That's me regarding this show. ****.
Supergirl "Still, She Persisted"
Oh my God! She just knocked out Superman!
Interesting that Superman sees Zod as his worst enemy rather than Lex, Brainiac, or Doomsday. Although it also doesn't surprise me.
I love how excited and amazed Winn is when Superman called him "Buddy". "Hey, how ya doin', Buddy?" I love it whenever Superman is portrayed as relatable, and outside of the DCAU, it doesn't happen much. Could you ever imagine the Clark from Smallville ever saying that? And yet, it totally plays here, and make Winn happy at the same time. I approve of that.
Cat is in the mood for a Clark Bar. Cat throwing herself at Clark will never get old. And neither will Kara being grossed out by those entendres. Ick.
Speaking of gross, I will never get used to J'onn macking on M'Gann. Never.
War World shout-out.
Kara and Rhea rushing each other is the cheesiest act break ever.
The Daxamites calling Mon-El a traitor for objecting to an unprovoked attack against Earth sort of gave me unpleasant deja vu to the aughts.
Good White Martians! Squee!
The lead bomb seemed like an incredibly foolhardy idea to me. What if Rhea had survived? She might just have destroyed the Earth out of pure spite.
Rob Lowe, huh? Cat Grant DOES love to name-drop. I would have been super PO-ed if she DIDN'T know Kara was Supergirl after last week. The big question is whether or not she knows Clark is Superman. And frankly, she might. And does she know Robo Lowe is (sometimes) Captain Marvel?
Superman saying that he might not have saved the Earth if it meant losing Lois was a great moment. Because of it, and only because of it, I accept him saying Kara humbled him and was stronger. Because she is, at least about this one thing. And it's a pretty big thing.
James being in the finale so little tells me him and Kara are never happening. They would have actually used him more here if they were planning to make him the romantic lead down the line.
No clue what was up with that last scene, but we'll find out next year. This was a pretty good end to a hit-and-miss season. ****.
The Flash "Infantino Street"
Okay, the stuff with Captain Cold was golden. I love that "King Shark is adorable" and him promising to talk Cisco up to his sister if he saves his life. I especially love that he is the one who ultimately talks Barry out of becoming a murderer. He likes Barry because Barry sees the good in him and Barry like him because Snart sees the bad in him.
You never saw the shark in Jaws because the producers couldn't afford to make it look good. That explains King Shark here.
I loved Joe and Iris' scene in the middle of the episode.
The stuff with Savitar sucked. What was the entire point of the season? I feel incredibly angry and ripped off, especially since I personally saw many different ways out of the scenario, such as Barry running away, or never showing up to Infantino Street in the first place. I'm p*ssed at both the show and the season. ***.
Arrow "Missing"
I am SOOOOO glad they got rid of the Deathstroke embargo, but that is ONE bad idea, Oliver. If he somehow pulls this off, and the alliance of him, Slade, Nyssa, and Merlyn holds, next week will be fun. Because they will stomp the CRAP out of Chase. He is the biggest punk Oliver has ever faced, and is about to get slammed.
Can you believe Chase blames Oliver for his wife's death? Not only did Chase kill her, but Oliver didn't get her involved to threaten her life, but instead to talk her husband down. I think Oliver is so stunned by this, that he is not put together enough to point out what an utterly false equivalence it is, but that's what it is.
Poor Quentin. I appreciate he doesn't actually feel betrayed by this turn of events (it's good character development), which is his default mode when learning Team Arrow has been keeping something about his family from him, but the poor guy always seems to be getting it on all sides. I honestly would not have blamed him if he went right back to hating Oliver after this.
Next week is going to be amazing, and I'm betting the first great finale we've gotten since season 2. I'm sure of it. ****1/2.
Gotham "Heroes Rise: Meant To Be"
Out of all of the crazy storytelling turns, out of all of the unbelievable cr*p they pull with this franchise and these characters, this show has nuts of stone to try to get me to ever believe Lee is the bad guy in her relationship with Jim. I get that Jim's the main character, and the producers want him to seem heroic. But after what he's done, they are crazy to think I will EVER see him that way, or Lee as anyone who has nothing but the patience of a saint.
Here's a question: Why COULDN'T Harvey or Lucius tell her what was going on? Penguin is okay to be let in the secret but Lee isn't? She might actually stop poking around Frank's death if she heard Jim say he killed himself in front of him, and he didn't tell her because all of the people he knew wound up dead. But the show can't even give her that. And it wants me to think SHE is being unreasonable? Bull. F***ing. S***.
How stupid is Jim to search Evil Law And Order M.E.'s house himself? He doesn't have people for that? He couldn't have Lucius snoop around instead of putting himself in the place where Kathryn realizes she's been compromised? I'll admit it was pretty ballsy that once he was pretty much caught, he pretended to be there to deliver her information, but the sole reason Jim is found out is because he was dumb enough to go there himself and place himself at the scene. Did he think she would never question how he knew who she was and where she lived? He's on the freaking Court himself! He is too valuable to risk getting caught doing that! Not only is he an idiot, but so are Harvey and Lucius for not tying him down, and putting him in a rubber room for his own protection. I get him refusing to let 200 people die. But he might have even gotten away with THAT had he not shown up at the house!
Plus, Lucius probably would have been smart enough to case the joint ahead of time to make sure it was empty, which clearly Jim did not do. I'd think more of Jim taking on these secret missions himself if he weren't such a complete dunce.
As Harvey noted, Strange's plan to pit both sides against each other is genius. "Why you logical b*****." Strange is not actually the sharpest knife in the drawer, so it's a bit refreshing that even he realizes how dumb both of his enemies are.
Ed is afraid of the Penguin. Good. It's about time he was.
Ivy's superpower has got to be a hassle in having people tell her things she doesn't want to hear. Because the people she's plantnatized don't want to disappoint her. She needs to think through more clearly who she puts the whammy on in the first place.
I suspect Bruce knows deep down the Shaman is con artist and lying to him. It is interesting to me that the thing that triggered his initial rage was people being concerned about HIM after his folks died, instead of how horrible it was they died in and of itself. They just accepted it, which is something Bruce has never been willing to do. I hope the Shaman is found out soon, because his lessons to bury the rage and pain of that night are the antithesis of Batman and why he ticks. And I'd like the think the writers in charge of a major Batman project would have known that all along. But I'm actually not sure about that, so the jury's out. That's how little faith I have in this show.
This was acceptable by the show's standards, but frankly, not mine. And I'm done giving this show the benefit of the doubt. **1/2.
Gotham "Heroes Rise: All Will Be Judged"
Fake Bruce and Alfred repeatedly head-butting each other is this show at its dumbest. And the Executioner stuff is the show at its cheesy worst.
I like that Harvey dislikes Lucius because he is smarter than him. I also like that he lacks enough vanity to outright admit that.
I kind of hate Ed for throwing Penguin's love in his face. I get why he hates him, but that is something only a terrible person would do. That "deal" Ed and Penguin made was the stupidest thing I've ever seen. Still, I admired they both kept it at least. I didn't expect either to.
I loved the scene between Lee and Tetch. What Tetch is saying is a LITTLE bit true, but it isn't the whole truth, or something I wholly agree with. It's just partly true.
I knew I didn't trust the Temple Shaman. He's bad news, even if he killed the guy who ordered the hit on the Waynes. That whole "eat the finger" thing is the show as its trashiest and disgusting worst.
Just based on the amount of information both learned, I kind of wish Alfred and Gordon had compared notes before now. They'd be a LOT better off.
Harvey is right about something: Barnes should NOT be hard to catch, and the show is dumb for thinking he would be. A guy in the costume he is in could never blend into the background. Even the Joker and the Riddler dress less garishly. He should have been found before he attacked the station. Plus, they're searching for him? How did they not see him coming? How did he get enough of a drop on people on the alert for him to knock them out with gas?
I feel there is a domestic violence subtext behind Alfred stabbing a helpless woman in the hand. Which is probably why they did it, and is why the show sucks more than most television.
Still, Alfred's rant to SELINA was righteous. I won't dismiss that.
I love Harvey putting up his hands and laughing upon failing to knock Barnes out. It was a joke! Can't you take a joke?
Jim thinks Catherine is the boss? Even I didn't think that.
The scene of Lee injecting herself at the end is the precise reason I have no faith in this show, and lost it very early on in season one. It actually thinks that is acceptable storytelling. Which is precisely why Gotham is unacceptable.
Sucky episode. Par for the course. *.
Lucifer "God Johnson"
God is King Richard from Galavant! I half expected him to be holding a lizard and claiming it's a baby dragon. And then burst into song. I have a dragon!
Now? Now? I ship Maze and Chloe. I think them actually having sex will relieve some tension.
Speaking of, Dan is truly pathetic for agreeing to take his pants off. Screw him. So gross.
That opening told me the situation was going to become more dire than it actually was. Lucifer isn't actually crazy enough to believe he's a fake, but he's telling the killer what she wants to hear. I feel a bit ripped off.
Just based upon the bow, Linda is NOT cut out for this. She does not get the etiquette here.
I love Amenadiel hanging around on the couch as a fourth wheel, and getting all up in that guy's business. B-B-B-B-Blocked! You gonna finish that? The doctor thought he was going out for dinner with a hot white woman and instead is surrounded by crazy black people. I love that dynamic since the doctor is black. He is NOT feeling the solidarity he should be feeling in this situation. In fact, it's actually the white women who is the only one not making him feel weird, which is kind of fabulous.
I love that Lucifer is furious precisely because God Johnson was everything he wanted in a father. And that should not be too much for ANY son to be ask, if we're being honest. The idea that God would never tell him the loving and insightful things Johnson did shows that on THIS show, God IS the bad guy.
Interesting that God Johnson brings up free will as a defense. Because that might actually hold up in court.
I actually wish Richard WAS God. Then there would be dragons for everyone. ****.
Lucifer "Sympathy For The Goddess"
Charlotte is terrible in everything she does. She also has a very different idea of fun than I do (or Lucifer for that matter).
I shed no tears for Linda's career being in trouble. She is a hot mess, completely unprofessional, and terrible at her job. The fact that they are only just looking into her now speaks very badly of the American Psychiatry Association.
Nobody listens to Amendiel. And they probably should.
Chloe and her mom were actresses. Charlotte doesn't think she owns nice clothes?
Love Maze kicking Luci in the nuts. That fight has been building for two seasons. "You're just like your parents!" Oh, snap! And do you know what? We should have freaking seen it! What a rip-off!
Maze is right that Luicfer's excuse is even worse. Seriously clueless nefarious guy over here.
Part of me thinks Lucifer should have known by now about the taboo of therapists sleeping with their patients, but the other part of me thinks it's merely because he doesn't actually think Linda did anything wrong. That would consistent at least.
Chad is the d0uchiest of d0uches. I want to reach through my screen and strangle him. Charlotte burning him was a good compromise.
I love that Dan takes Amendiel to improv. I like the run where Amendiel carefully tries to explain that he and Lucifer are not in competition for Charlotte, at least not in that way, and if he was, he's here, isn't he? Somehow I don't think Lucifer would be that kosher with Dan making that suggestion. And I think Dan gets why the suggestion is nuts by the end of the episode. Amendiel has gotten chill this season. Amendiel being God's favorite son is not the surprise the show thinks it is.
Worried about Maze and the Psychiatrist at the end. I hope she didn't kill him.
Charlotte claiming to be Lucifer's stepmom is a great cover story, because it explains everything. On the other hand, Chloe and Dan making jokes that if he marries Charlotte he'll be Lucifer's Dad shows how little each appreciate the actual situation, and that they are completely full of themselves, and mistake their importance to the Universe. Lucifer is not the only egotist on the show.
Look forward to next week's finale. ****.
iZombie "Dirt Nap Time"
Great episode title.
I like that idea that Liv eats the brain of a pre-school teacher in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Calling b.s. on something: Candy does not seem old enough to know the phrase "Time to make the donuts."
Loved Justin offering to cover for Major. If Donnie hadn't shown up when he did in the club, Major would have been totally screwed.
Liv's personality is b.s. too. Pre-school teachers don't actually talk that way for adults. I get the show does the personality thing for the comedy, but it seriously hurts the show's credibility in weeks like this.
I love the tough guy bursting into tears, and Clive lowering Liv's hand wearing the sockpuppet.
That supercharged crazy brain is gonna be a problem in a couple of weeks.
The episode was decent, if not great. ***1/2.
Samurai Jack "Episode CI"
That was excellent. I was so worried after waiting for that for 16 years, and they somehow managed to wrap everything up in 22 minutes, and somehow crazily not even make it seemed rushed. I'm sad about Ashi, but unsurprised, and I like that at least her end was not violent, and was ultimately peaceful. Which is how it should have been.
Just speaking for me, but I think sad endings tend to be better than happy ones.
But the Scotsman's Ghost thinks Jack can do better. Celtic Magic explains everything.
I love that the final battle doesn't just involve Jack and Aku, but all of the people Jack has saved over the years. I squeed at seeing the dogs from the Pilot and the Jump Good guy. It wasn't just Jack's victory, but everyone's.
The solution of giving Ashi Aku's powers to create a new portal was an elegant, simple, and brilliant one. Although I'm still a bit surprised they didn't ultimately use the Guardian. I love Aku's "You're back already?" He is genuinely confused, which was funny.
I love Aku blowing out his ear stems as if he was popping them after a long airline flight. They always come up with the best gags for him.
This was all I ever wanted from the finale. *****.
Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. "World's End"
I'm glad they had a dedication card to Powers Boothe at the end, but I didn't actually understand either of those endings.
I love that it's ultimately Ghost Rider who is capable of defeating Aida.
I was annoyed when it looked like they killed off Talbot (Adrian Pasdar and Clark Gregg are one of the things on the show that work) but it's good he survived. I was even MORE annoyed when they seemed to kill off Gemma, but in that case the writers were actually tricking us.
I'll miss Radcliffe next season, (even if I won't miss Ophelia or the Superior).
Pretty good finale but I didn't really get the ending. ***1/2.
Once Upon A Time "The Final Battle"
Why are they continuing this show? Without the teasers and the tag that would have been a perfectly acceptable series finale for me. I don't get why they didn't just stop. What if ABC had declined to renew? I think the producers have dollar signs in their eyes and will probably have a longer view of the series than ABC does. I suspect we'll do like Sleepy Hollow and get canceled after a cliffhanger. I'm just amazed that hasn't happened yet.
It was a great overall episode, I think. Henry having to fix things seemed entirely appropriate and I like the fact that Gold ultimately resisted the easier, more evil choice. I think Rumple was sort of like Snow and Charming with their "Good always wins" nonsense, just in reverse. He had been giving evil far for credit for being willing to work out in his favor than it actually was. The Black Fairy could have given him Belle and Rumple the entire time. But instead she dangles promises and somedays over his head and he realizes she ultimately a lying con artist. And for Rumplestiltskin of all people to be as conned as badly as he was, was probably both disheartening, and eye opening. Maybe evil CAN win the day. That doesn't mean Rumple will actually get anything out of it if it does.
I knew they were going to have Emma survive just because the scenario of the original vision had changed. Both Regina and Zelina were present for the Final Battle, when they weren't in Emma's vision at the beginning of the season. In fact, one of Emma's fears was that the hooded person was either Regina or a version of her. Once the predestination scenario was altered, I knew the fate would be too. Work AROUND the prophecy. That's how you do it.
Knew the book wouldn't be that easy to kill. It shows up in the weirdest places for a reason.
No clue where the Adult Henry thing is going in the future, or if they'll have flash-forwards, or simply set the new show there. Is Jared Gilmore still going to be a cast member? I have to say the adult they cast looks incredibly like him and I thought that in the teaser before I knew who he was.
I love the idea that the Evil Queen was willing to die for them. And when Hook asks Regina if she actually trusts her she says without hesitation: "Of course I do. She's me." I freaking love that she doesn't even have to think about it. And the truth is the logic of that argument completely holds up when we see the Evil Queen's action.
I suspect Sean MaGuire was busy and that why he was only able to lend his voice. But at least he was kind enough to do that. Many busy Once actors simply leave the show entirely high and dry.
This should have been the last episode. It's called The Final Battle after all. They didn't need to go beyond this. ****1/2.
Tangled: Short Cuts "Make Me Smile"
Boring, but it's good to know these shorts aren't always going to be dialogue free like last week. **1/2.
Transformers: Robots In Disguise: Combiner Force "Sphere Of Influence"
This premise of the episode, and the episode itself were SO freaking dumb. When Bee does his corny teamwork speech at the end, I'm like, "Kill me now." *.
The Simpsons "Dogtown"
Wait, I'm trying something. Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in. Worth it. Totally worth it. One of the funniest Simpsons jokes ever.
I love Anger Watkins.
Who's coming with me? None of us. One more time! Nobody. I can't hear you! Yes, you can. I love that the responses were all said in unison.
Barney isn't even the town failure. Awww!
The last thing Lisa will do before she dies is correct Bart. That strangely makes her feel better.
Oh, yeah, Santa's Little Helper? Well, Homer's eatin' your dog food! Bet YOU feel dumb!
Laughed at Marge kicking the Chihuahua like a football. Violence against dogs is never funny. Chihuahuas are the exception.
Not the greatest plot admittedly, but a ton of amazing jokes. ****1/2.
Also reviews for the latest episodes of Doctor Who, Class, Justice League Action, and DC Super Hero Girls, the last two episodes of the season of Supergirl, the latest episodes of The Flash, Arrow, Gotham, Lucifer, and iZombie, the series finale of Samurai Jack, the season finales of Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Once Upon A Time, the latest episodes of Tangled: Short Cuts and Transformers: Robots In Disguise: Combiner Force, and the season finale of The Simpsons.
Twin Peaks "The Return: Parts 1 and 2"
That was unlike any Twin Peaks I've ever seen.
I promised myself before I wrote this review, that I wouldn't be overly generous simply because I love the franchise so much, and am so glad to have it back. But I also reminded myself that David Lynch constructed this as an 18 hour movie, so I probably should also keep an open mind about things I don't like. They may be important later.
This is very different than both the ABC show and Fire Walk With Me. The ABC show, as much as it seemed to take its time, at least compared to the rest of television of that era, is incredibly fast paced compared to this. Here, Lynch REALLY takes his time and has various unrelated scenes not only in Twin Peaks, but in other places across America. I don't know how all of these things tie in together yet. But I'm confident they will. It sounds crazy, but I trust David Lynch for the first time in my life. Because he's working with Mark Frost. That guy grounded him more than at any other point in his career.
Despite the nudity and F bombs, it is also unlike Fire Walk With Me. This has a VERY cohesive narrative, while FWWM was pretty dreamlike, and sort of did it's own thing compared to the rest of the series. The relaunch is MUCH more grounded as of now.
Love the new main title. LOVE it. It feels appropriate to have the red curtains along with the waterfall.
I love that Jerry Horne is now a dippy, pot smoking hippie. That sounds about right.
The Arm electric fetus tree was bizarre, like a Christmas tree from Hell, and even if I woulda preferred Michael J. Anderson back, I cannot deny it made an impression. The glass box did too.
How is Kyle McLachlan as Evil Coop? The brief times we saw Coop's doppelganger on the old show, he was out of control and crazy. This one strikes me as every bit as evil, but he's in control of himself, probably for the same reason Leland outwardly appeared that way to others before Laura's death. And he dresses like Bob.
Interesting that the Log Lady clearly has cancer. Kudos to David Lynch for not making Catherin E. Coulson wear a wig as she was dying. He wrote it into the story, which is fabulous.
There are now two Sheriff Trumans. One of them is sick, and one of them is fishing. What does that mean?
Upon ??????'s incomprehensible spiel in The Black Lodge, Agent Cooper says "I understand." Which nobody anywhere said about Twin Peaks ever.
The alien showing up first and killing the couple having sex tells me that the UFO mythology with Dougie Milford and Major Briggs as seen in Mark Frost's novel The Secret History of Twin Peaks, is going to be a major plot-thread. Which again tells me that the mythology of this show back in the day, probably held up to scrutiny. Answers existed to the big stuff. We just never got them.
The White Horse makes an appearance in the Black Lodge, which tells me that even if it didn't mean anything in the first regular episode, it does now. Which is good.
I swooned at Madeline Zima's nude scene. She is quite beautiful, in a way she never was on Heroes. She's grown into herself in a way she never was as a child and teenage actress. I always tend to think that the older a woman gets, the better she tends to look. That happened to Zima here, and franky, Madchen Amick.
Phillip Jeffries is still a factor, and Mr. C is in contact with him, wherever he is. Although since David Bowie is dead, we obviously won't see him (or Major Briggs) again. But I don't think he is who was on the other end of that phone call.
The police in South Dakota was super interesting once they got into the apartment, but that fat woman neighbor was SO freaking annoying. David Lynch creates amazingly stupid people in many of his projects. Stupid beyond belief and all recognition or credibility. And it's always funny.
Bill claiming he didn't kill the woman, but had a dream that he did, suggests that maybe Mr. C is possessing him on the side. Is that possible? And what happens to Evil Coop in the meantime?
One thing I notice. Mr. C likes his coffee. I did not miss that. As unlike Dale as he seems, he still has many similarities.
I am not only amazed that Mr. C played with that guy's cheeks like that, but that he sat there and took it. For a LONG time.
Nice to see Sarah Palmer still has empty the ridiculous amount of cigarette butts in the cartoonishly huge ashtray.
Who was the ash guy in the prison who blew up in smoke?
What is Jacque Renoit doing alive at the Road House?
Love the tribute to Catherine E Coulson and Frank Silva.
We are in for quite a return. ****1/2.
Twin Peaks "The Return: Part 3"
"Jade's taking you for TWO rides!" Classic.
Also great was "Do chocolate bunnies have something to do with you heritage?" "It's not about the bunnies... Is it? No, it's NOT about the bunnies."
I love that Coop is now insane. 25 years in the Black Lodge'll do that to a fella. I knew he was going to win all of those jackpots. I knew it.
The visuals at the beginning were bizarre. What was that place? Who was the lady with no eyes? Intriguing stuff.
I do not get what the deal with Dougie was, or how Mr. C could have possibly manufactured him. But he did what he was meant to: took Bob's place in the Black Lodge. I'm glad about that. I wouldn't feel right unless it was Dale himself who took down Mr. C.
That was some interesting looking vomit.
Return of the Blue Rose.
That case at FBI headquarter looked both incredibly weird, and incredibly pervy.
I loved the tribute to Don S. Davis and Miguel Ferrer too.
Gettin' good. ****.
Twin Peaks: "The Return: Part 4"
I love Coop's reaction to hot coffee. And his first thumbs up in 25 years.
Speaking of which, I loved his reaction to urinating for the first time in 25 years. He had a similar reaction in his autobiography after going without that for as long as possible, as an experiment when he was younger, and claimed it was a good substitute for sex.
When the casino owner leans forward and tells Coop "I look forward to seeing you again ANYTIME," that was LITERALLY the last thing I expected him to say.
The scene of Gordon and Albert at the end, shows that Twin Peaks is filled with more actual legitimate dramatic scenes than the rest of Lynch's projects, and wasn't always weirdness for the sake of weirdness. Both Cole's and Albert's worried reactions resonated with me.
Do you know what didn't? Them watching Tanya's butt as she went to the diner. I get that the old show had jokes like that ALL the time, but this is 2017. They are no longer acceptable.
Speaking of which, Denise's "balls of steel" line hints she is still pre-op 25 years later. What's the hold-up?
Did Lucy huff paint when she was pregnant with Wally? Because he seems dumber than both of his parents combined. Michael Cera has never been more annoying. Which is saying something.
Also, how does Lucy not get cell phones? That's another joke that I don't think is acceptable in 2017.
Clever to hint that OUR Sheriff Truman is merely sick. That way, if Michael Ontkean changes his mind about future projects, he can come back. That was VERY considerate. Most TV shows would have simply killed the character off. David Lynch is not most TV producers.
Is Naomi Watts destined to only fall in love with amnesiacs carrying large amounts of money in a bag? She definitely has a type.
Chad is a buttwipe.
Bobby's a cop! I love that he cries upon seeing Laura's picture. And Laura's Theme plays! That is consistent with him on the old show. The Secret History Of Twin Peaks hinted that Coop's Doppelganger murdered Major Briggs. Bobby's story about the fire here sort of confirms that idea, if not explicitly. We'll see.
Honestly, I would prefer they ended the episodes with Laura Palmer's Theme to her high school picture. The musical numbers at the Road House are not cutting it for me.
This show is still amazing 25 years later. ****.
Doctor Who "Extremis"
Knew it was Missy. I guess Twelve's blindness is permanent.
One good thing about the Doctor being fake is that he didn't blow through all of his regenerations after all.
My favorite scene is Nardole telling Bill that if she doesn't follow his orders he'll kick her @$$, her asking if he's a secret bad@$$, him saying "Nothing secret about it, Baby", and then squealing like a mouse when something scares him.
Holo-Twelve's solution to send an email was absolutely brilliant, although I couldn't really tell where the fake Doctor stuff began and ended.
Pretty good episode that promises even better things to come. ***1/2.
Class "Detained"
Mediocre bottle episode.
I dislike the fact that Tanya is a secret racist.
This episode states a truth about Narnia: the ending is b.s.. Susan doesn't get to go to Heaven because she wears make-up? What kind of jive is that?
Ironically, the last couple of minutes with Quill were the only interesting thing in the episode. I will probably enjoy next week, (which seems to be operating on a parallel timeframe) much more. *1/2.
Justice League Action "Rage Of The Red Lanterns"
Interestingly enough, the Red Lanterns on this show aren't actually criminals. Heck, they aren't even explicitly villains. They try to take possession of Lobo through legal channels before things go sideways.
Is the kitty Red Lantern from the comics? Because that's pretty much adorable.
Loved the look of disappointment on the Goat Red Lanterner's face upon realizing he didn't have a leaguer to monologue solidarity to.
What Lobo just said WOULD make a great name for a band.
Batman's idea of a good day is spending time in a lab. Bruce Wayne is SUCH a nerd.
Pretty great. ****.
DC Super Hero Girls "Wildside, Part 2"
Beast of wrinkled adorableness? The elephant isn't the only adorable person in this cartoon.
Like Vixen too. ***1/2.
Supergirl "Resist"
Wow, the Trump Administration just took a HUGE pounding in that episode. Were I Republican viewers, I'd be quite p*ssed off. I'm on the right side of the issue, so it didn't offend me, but the specific talking points the episode used to say Trump's Make America Great propaganda is like Rhea and the Daxamites, having a Hillary Clinton stand-in be a great president ("I'm so glad I voted for her"), and Cat Grant's insanely timely advice to "Resist", that's just this show unapologetically giving the middle finger to Red States. I like it, but I don't know how smart it is to rub half of your audience's face in how much they suck. I mean, I think they personally suck, but I sure as heck would be hesitant to so brazenly voice that opinion on national television using my real name. There are some dangerous goofballs out there. This episode was fearless in a way Arrow's gun control sermonizing was not.
Just based on the actions of the President, Earth 18 is a better Earth than ours. And I think that's deliberately the entire subtext of the episode, which is again kind of fearless, and possibly kind of foolish.
Next week's episode title is "Still, She Persisted". NOT subtle where this show stands. At all.
"Please at least tell me you are actually a Democrat." That is not just the greatest line of the episode. It is not just the greatest line of the season. It is not just the greatest line of the series. It's possibly the greatest line of the entire Arrowverse. I'm not joking. The Arrowverse ain't exactly known for clever dialogue, so I can safely say that's the best joke they've ever done. It's possible Constantine has had a better line on his distantly related show. But I can't remember it off the top of my head.
Okay, having Cat instantly know it's Jimmy means that if she DOESN'T know it's Kara next week, the show doesn't think much of her. She can see her eyes through the glasses, you moron.
Do you know what I love about Cat's female empowerment moment on Air Force One? Supergirl ain't a part of it. Cat believes the most powerful women on Earth are Rhea, the President, and herself. That's more than a little bit awesome.
Is it weird that I find Lynda Carter hotter than Teri Hatcher and Calista Flockhart? It's not, right? I can't be the only person to think she looks like a million bucks.
I loved Alex shooting that gun and jumping out the window in slo-mo bullet time. That move means a finale is a comin'! That was super sweet.
Speaking of which, I wasn't surprised by Superman, but I would have been more ticked than anything if they hadn't come up with a decent reason why he didn't show up. Once they introduced him in the premiere, he should have had a bigger presence on the series than he ultimately did.
I admire this episode's convictions. But like Bart Simpson said on the chalkboard after South Park's Mohammed flap: "We'd stand with you, South Park, if we weren't so scared." That's me regarding this show. ****.
Supergirl "Still, She Persisted"
Oh my God! She just knocked out Superman!
Interesting that Superman sees Zod as his worst enemy rather than Lex, Brainiac, or Doomsday. Although it also doesn't surprise me.
I love how excited and amazed Winn is when Superman called him "Buddy". "Hey, how ya doin', Buddy?" I love it whenever Superman is portrayed as relatable, and outside of the DCAU, it doesn't happen much. Could you ever imagine the Clark from Smallville ever saying that? And yet, it totally plays here, and make Winn happy at the same time. I approve of that.
Cat is in the mood for a Clark Bar. Cat throwing herself at Clark will never get old. And neither will Kara being grossed out by those entendres. Ick.
Speaking of gross, I will never get used to J'onn macking on M'Gann. Never.
War World shout-out.
Kara and Rhea rushing each other is the cheesiest act break ever.
The Daxamites calling Mon-El a traitor for objecting to an unprovoked attack against Earth sort of gave me unpleasant deja vu to the aughts.
Good White Martians! Squee!
The lead bomb seemed like an incredibly foolhardy idea to me. What if Rhea had survived? She might just have destroyed the Earth out of pure spite.
Rob Lowe, huh? Cat Grant DOES love to name-drop. I would have been super PO-ed if she DIDN'T know Kara was Supergirl after last week. The big question is whether or not she knows Clark is Superman. And frankly, she might. And does she know Robo Lowe is (sometimes) Captain Marvel?
Superman saying that he might not have saved the Earth if it meant losing Lois was a great moment. Because of it, and only because of it, I accept him saying Kara humbled him and was stronger. Because she is, at least about this one thing. And it's a pretty big thing.
James being in the finale so little tells me him and Kara are never happening. They would have actually used him more here if they were planning to make him the romantic lead down the line.
No clue what was up with that last scene, but we'll find out next year. This was a pretty good end to a hit-and-miss season. ****.
The Flash "Infantino Street"
Okay, the stuff with Captain Cold was golden. I love that "King Shark is adorable" and him promising to talk Cisco up to his sister if he saves his life. I especially love that he is the one who ultimately talks Barry out of becoming a murderer. He likes Barry because Barry sees the good in him and Barry like him because Snart sees the bad in him.
You never saw the shark in Jaws because the producers couldn't afford to make it look good. That explains King Shark here.
I loved Joe and Iris' scene in the middle of the episode.
The stuff with Savitar sucked. What was the entire point of the season? I feel incredibly angry and ripped off, especially since I personally saw many different ways out of the scenario, such as Barry running away, or never showing up to Infantino Street in the first place. I'm p*ssed at both the show and the season. ***.
Arrow "Missing"
I am SOOOOO glad they got rid of the Deathstroke embargo, but that is ONE bad idea, Oliver. If he somehow pulls this off, and the alliance of him, Slade, Nyssa, and Merlyn holds, next week will be fun. Because they will stomp the CRAP out of Chase. He is the biggest punk Oliver has ever faced, and is about to get slammed.
Can you believe Chase blames Oliver for his wife's death? Not only did Chase kill her, but Oliver didn't get her involved to threaten her life, but instead to talk her husband down. I think Oliver is so stunned by this, that he is not put together enough to point out what an utterly false equivalence it is, but that's what it is.
Poor Quentin. I appreciate he doesn't actually feel betrayed by this turn of events (it's good character development), which is his default mode when learning Team Arrow has been keeping something about his family from him, but the poor guy always seems to be getting it on all sides. I honestly would not have blamed him if he went right back to hating Oliver after this.
Next week is going to be amazing, and I'm betting the first great finale we've gotten since season 2. I'm sure of it. ****1/2.
Gotham "Heroes Rise: Meant To Be"
Out of all of the crazy storytelling turns, out of all of the unbelievable cr*p they pull with this franchise and these characters, this show has nuts of stone to try to get me to ever believe Lee is the bad guy in her relationship with Jim. I get that Jim's the main character, and the producers want him to seem heroic. But after what he's done, they are crazy to think I will EVER see him that way, or Lee as anyone who has nothing but the patience of a saint.
Here's a question: Why COULDN'T Harvey or Lucius tell her what was going on? Penguin is okay to be let in the secret but Lee isn't? She might actually stop poking around Frank's death if she heard Jim say he killed himself in front of him, and he didn't tell her because all of the people he knew wound up dead. But the show can't even give her that. And it wants me to think SHE is being unreasonable? Bull. F***ing. S***.
How stupid is Jim to search Evil Law And Order M.E.'s house himself? He doesn't have people for that? He couldn't have Lucius snoop around instead of putting himself in the place where Kathryn realizes she's been compromised? I'll admit it was pretty ballsy that once he was pretty much caught, he pretended to be there to deliver her information, but the sole reason Jim is found out is because he was dumb enough to go there himself and place himself at the scene. Did he think she would never question how he knew who she was and where she lived? He's on the freaking Court himself! He is too valuable to risk getting caught doing that! Not only is he an idiot, but so are Harvey and Lucius for not tying him down, and putting him in a rubber room for his own protection. I get him refusing to let 200 people die. But he might have even gotten away with THAT had he not shown up at the house!
Plus, Lucius probably would have been smart enough to case the joint ahead of time to make sure it was empty, which clearly Jim did not do. I'd think more of Jim taking on these secret missions himself if he weren't such a complete dunce.
As Harvey noted, Strange's plan to pit both sides against each other is genius. "Why you logical b*****." Strange is not actually the sharpest knife in the drawer, so it's a bit refreshing that even he realizes how dumb both of his enemies are.
Ed is afraid of the Penguin. Good. It's about time he was.
Ivy's superpower has got to be a hassle in having people tell her things she doesn't want to hear. Because the people she's plantnatized don't want to disappoint her. She needs to think through more clearly who she puts the whammy on in the first place.
I suspect Bruce knows deep down the Shaman is con artist and lying to him. It is interesting to me that the thing that triggered his initial rage was people being concerned about HIM after his folks died, instead of how horrible it was they died in and of itself. They just accepted it, which is something Bruce has never been willing to do. I hope the Shaman is found out soon, because his lessons to bury the rage and pain of that night are the antithesis of Batman and why he ticks. And I'd like the think the writers in charge of a major Batman project would have known that all along. But I'm actually not sure about that, so the jury's out. That's how little faith I have in this show.
This was acceptable by the show's standards, but frankly, not mine. And I'm done giving this show the benefit of the doubt. **1/2.
Gotham "Heroes Rise: All Will Be Judged"
Fake Bruce and Alfred repeatedly head-butting each other is this show at its dumbest. And the Executioner stuff is the show at its cheesy worst.
I like that Harvey dislikes Lucius because he is smarter than him. I also like that he lacks enough vanity to outright admit that.
I kind of hate Ed for throwing Penguin's love in his face. I get why he hates him, but that is something only a terrible person would do. That "deal" Ed and Penguin made was the stupidest thing I've ever seen. Still, I admired they both kept it at least. I didn't expect either to.
I loved the scene between Lee and Tetch. What Tetch is saying is a LITTLE bit true, but it isn't the whole truth, or something I wholly agree with. It's just partly true.
I knew I didn't trust the Temple Shaman. He's bad news, even if he killed the guy who ordered the hit on the Waynes. That whole "eat the finger" thing is the show as its trashiest and disgusting worst.
Just based on the amount of information both learned, I kind of wish Alfred and Gordon had compared notes before now. They'd be a LOT better off.
Harvey is right about something: Barnes should NOT be hard to catch, and the show is dumb for thinking he would be. A guy in the costume he is in could never blend into the background. Even the Joker and the Riddler dress less garishly. He should have been found before he attacked the station. Plus, they're searching for him? How did they not see him coming? How did he get enough of a drop on people on the alert for him to knock them out with gas?
I feel there is a domestic violence subtext behind Alfred stabbing a helpless woman in the hand. Which is probably why they did it, and is why the show sucks more than most television.
Still, Alfred's rant to SELINA was righteous. I won't dismiss that.
I love Harvey putting up his hands and laughing upon failing to knock Barnes out. It was a joke! Can't you take a joke?
Jim thinks Catherine is the boss? Even I didn't think that.
The scene of Lee injecting herself at the end is the precise reason I have no faith in this show, and lost it very early on in season one. It actually thinks that is acceptable storytelling. Which is precisely why Gotham is unacceptable.
Sucky episode. Par for the course. *.
Lucifer "God Johnson"
God is King Richard from Galavant! I half expected him to be holding a lizard and claiming it's a baby dragon. And then burst into song. I have a dragon!
Now? Now? I ship Maze and Chloe. I think them actually having sex will relieve some tension.
Speaking of, Dan is truly pathetic for agreeing to take his pants off. Screw him. So gross.
That opening told me the situation was going to become more dire than it actually was. Lucifer isn't actually crazy enough to believe he's a fake, but he's telling the killer what she wants to hear. I feel a bit ripped off.
Just based upon the bow, Linda is NOT cut out for this. She does not get the etiquette here.
I love Amenadiel hanging around on the couch as a fourth wheel, and getting all up in that guy's business. B-B-B-B-Blocked! You gonna finish that? The doctor thought he was going out for dinner with a hot white woman and instead is surrounded by crazy black people. I love that dynamic since the doctor is black. He is NOT feeling the solidarity he should be feeling in this situation. In fact, it's actually the white women who is the only one not making him feel weird, which is kind of fabulous.
I love that Lucifer is furious precisely because God Johnson was everything he wanted in a father. And that should not be too much for ANY son to be ask, if we're being honest. The idea that God would never tell him the loving and insightful things Johnson did shows that on THIS show, God IS the bad guy.
Interesting that God Johnson brings up free will as a defense. Because that might actually hold up in court.
I actually wish Richard WAS God. Then there would be dragons for everyone. ****.
Lucifer "Sympathy For The Goddess"
Charlotte is terrible in everything she does. She also has a very different idea of fun than I do (or Lucifer for that matter).
I shed no tears for Linda's career being in trouble. She is a hot mess, completely unprofessional, and terrible at her job. The fact that they are only just looking into her now speaks very badly of the American Psychiatry Association.
Nobody listens to Amendiel. And they probably should.
Chloe and her mom were actresses. Charlotte doesn't think she owns nice clothes?
Love Maze kicking Luci in the nuts. That fight has been building for two seasons. "You're just like your parents!" Oh, snap! And do you know what? We should have freaking seen it! What a rip-off!
Maze is right that Luicfer's excuse is even worse. Seriously clueless nefarious guy over here.
Part of me thinks Lucifer should have known by now about the taboo of therapists sleeping with their patients, but the other part of me thinks it's merely because he doesn't actually think Linda did anything wrong. That would consistent at least.
Chad is the d0uchiest of d0uches. I want to reach through my screen and strangle him. Charlotte burning him was a good compromise.
I love that Dan takes Amendiel to improv. I like the run where Amendiel carefully tries to explain that he and Lucifer are not in competition for Charlotte, at least not in that way, and if he was, he's here, isn't he? Somehow I don't think Lucifer would be that kosher with Dan making that suggestion. And I think Dan gets why the suggestion is nuts by the end of the episode. Amendiel has gotten chill this season. Amendiel being God's favorite son is not the surprise the show thinks it is.
Worried about Maze and the Psychiatrist at the end. I hope she didn't kill him.
Charlotte claiming to be Lucifer's stepmom is a great cover story, because it explains everything. On the other hand, Chloe and Dan making jokes that if he marries Charlotte he'll be Lucifer's Dad shows how little each appreciate the actual situation, and that they are completely full of themselves, and mistake their importance to the Universe. Lucifer is not the only egotist on the show.
Look forward to next week's finale. ****.
iZombie "Dirt Nap Time"
Great episode title.
I like that idea that Liv eats the brain of a pre-school teacher in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Calling b.s. on something: Candy does not seem old enough to know the phrase "Time to make the donuts."
Loved Justin offering to cover for Major. If Donnie hadn't shown up when he did in the club, Major would have been totally screwed.
Liv's personality is b.s. too. Pre-school teachers don't actually talk that way for adults. I get the show does the personality thing for the comedy, but it seriously hurts the show's credibility in weeks like this.
I love the tough guy bursting into tears, and Clive lowering Liv's hand wearing the sockpuppet.
That supercharged crazy brain is gonna be a problem in a couple of weeks.
The episode was decent, if not great. ***1/2.
Samurai Jack "Episode CI"
That was excellent. I was so worried after waiting for that for 16 years, and they somehow managed to wrap everything up in 22 minutes, and somehow crazily not even make it seemed rushed. I'm sad about Ashi, but unsurprised, and I like that at least her end was not violent, and was ultimately peaceful. Which is how it should have been.
Just speaking for me, but I think sad endings tend to be better than happy ones.
But the Scotsman's Ghost thinks Jack can do better. Celtic Magic explains everything.
I love that the final battle doesn't just involve Jack and Aku, but all of the people Jack has saved over the years. I squeed at seeing the dogs from the Pilot and the Jump Good guy. It wasn't just Jack's victory, but everyone's.
The solution of giving Ashi Aku's powers to create a new portal was an elegant, simple, and brilliant one. Although I'm still a bit surprised they didn't ultimately use the Guardian. I love Aku's "You're back already?" He is genuinely confused, which was funny.
I love Aku blowing out his ear stems as if he was popping them after a long airline flight. They always come up with the best gags for him.
This was all I ever wanted from the finale. *****.
Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. "World's End"
I'm glad they had a dedication card to Powers Boothe at the end, but I didn't actually understand either of those endings.
I love that it's ultimately Ghost Rider who is capable of defeating Aida.
I was annoyed when it looked like they killed off Talbot (Adrian Pasdar and Clark Gregg are one of the things on the show that work) but it's good he survived. I was even MORE annoyed when they seemed to kill off Gemma, but in that case the writers were actually tricking us.
I'll miss Radcliffe next season, (even if I won't miss Ophelia or the Superior).
Pretty good finale but I didn't really get the ending. ***1/2.
Once Upon A Time "The Final Battle"
Why are they continuing this show? Without the teasers and the tag that would have been a perfectly acceptable series finale for me. I don't get why they didn't just stop. What if ABC had declined to renew? I think the producers have dollar signs in their eyes and will probably have a longer view of the series than ABC does. I suspect we'll do like Sleepy Hollow and get canceled after a cliffhanger. I'm just amazed that hasn't happened yet.
It was a great overall episode, I think. Henry having to fix things seemed entirely appropriate and I like the fact that Gold ultimately resisted the easier, more evil choice. I think Rumple was sort of like Snow and Charming with their "Good always wins" nonsense, just in reverse. He had been giving evil far for credit for being willing to work out in his favor than it actually was. The Black Fairy could have given him Belle and Rumple the entire time. But instead she dangles promises and somedays over his head and he realizes she ultimately a lying con artist. And for Rumplestiltskin of all people to be as conned as badly as he was, was probably both disheartening, and eye opening. Maybe evil CAN win the day. That doesn't mean Rumple will actually get anything out of it if it does.
I knew they were going to have Emma survive just because the scenario of the original vision had changed. Both Regina and Zelina were present for the Final Battle, when they weren't in Emma's vision at the beginning of the season. In fact, one of Emma's fears was that the hooded person was either Regina or a version of her. Once the predestination scenario was altered, I knew the fate would be too. Work AROUND the prophecy. That's how you do it.
Knew the book wouldn't be that easy to kill. It shows up in the weirdest places for a reason.
No clue where the Adult Henry thing is going in the future, or if they'll have flash-forwards, or simply set the new show there. Is Jared Gilmore still going to be a cast member? I have to say the adult they cast looks incredibly like him and I thought that in the teaser before I knew who he was.
I love the idea that the Evil Queen was willing to die for them. And when Hook asks Regina if she actually trusts her she says without hesitation: "Of course I do. She's me." I freaking love that she doesn't even have to think about it. And the truth is the logic of that argument completely holds up when we see the Evil Queen's action.
I suspect Sean MaGuire was busy and that why he was only able to lend his voice. But at least he was kind enough to do that. Many busy Once actors simply leave the show entirely high and dry.
This should have been the last episode. It's called The Final Battle after all. They didn't need to go beyond this. ****1/2.
Tangled: Short Cuts "Make Me Smile"
Boring, but it's good to know these shorts aren't always going to be dialogue free like last week. **1/2.
Transformers: Robots In Disguise: Combiner Force "Sphere Of Influence"
This premise of the episode, and the episode itself were SO freaking dumb. When Bee does his corny teamwork speech at the end, I'm like, "Kill me now." *.
The Simpsons "Dogtown"
Wait, I'm trying something. Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in. Worth it. Totally worth it. One of the funniest Simpsons jokes ever.
I love Anger Watkins.
Who's coming with me? None of us. One more time! Nobody. I can't hear you! Yes, you can. I love that the responses were all said in unison.
Barney isn't even the town failure. Awww!
The last thing Lisa will do before she dies is correct Bart. That strangely makes her feel better.
Oh, yeah, Santa's Little Helper? Well, Homer's eatin' your dog food! Bet YOU feel dumb!
Laughed at Marge kicking the Chihuahua like a football. Violence against dogs is never funny. Chihuahuas are the exception.
Not the greatest plot admittedly, but a ton of amazing jokes. ****1/2.