The Last Days Of Coney Island Review (Spoilers)
To be honest, a spoiler warning for that cartoon would be a bit much, because it implies Ralph Bakshi is capable of a narrative that a sane person could comprehend. David Lynch projects are easier for me to grasp.
But the spoiler warning goes for the rest of the reviews. Also reviews for the season premiere of Doctor Who, the series premiere of Class, the latest episodes of Teen Titans Go!, Powerless, iZombie, Samurai Jack, Ben 10, Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D., and Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy, the special Rocket And Groot, the latest episodes of Once Upon A Time, Tangled: The Series, The Lion Guard, Prison Break, American Dad!, and Bates Motel, the season premiere of Fargo, and the latest episodes of Angie Tribeca and The Blacklist.
Upcoming reviews include Doctor Who: Series 9, The X-Files: Season 10, Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Ant-Man (Blu-Ray), Captain America: Civil War (Blu-Ray), Doctor Strange (Blu-Ray), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, Daredevil: Season 1, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, Deadpool, X-Men: Apocalypse (Blu-Ray), The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes! Season 1, The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes! Season 2, Zootopia, Moana (Blu-Ray), Inside Out (Blu-Ray), The Good Dinosaur (Blu-Ray), Finding Dory (Blu-Ray), Once Upon A Time: Season 5, The BFG, Tomorrowland, Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Blu-Ray), Star Wars Rebels: Season 2, Lego Star Wars: Droid Tales, Lego Star Wars: The Freemaker Adventures: Season One, Jim Henson's Turkey Hollow (DVD), Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them (Blu-Ray), Static Shock: Season 1, The Zeta Project: Season 2, Teen Titans Go!: Get In Pig Out, Justice League Dark, Teen Titans: The Judas Contract, Suicide Squad (Blu-Ray), The Flash: Season 2, Arrow: Season 4, DC's Legends Of Tomorrow: Season 1, Supergirl: Season 1, Gotham: Season 2, iZombie: Season 1, iZombie: Season 2, Lucifer: Season 1, Be Cool Scooby Doo!: Spooky Kooky Fun!, Wabbit: A Looney Tunes Prod.: Hare-Raising Tales, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Beyond The Known Universe, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Earth's Last Stand, Tales Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Super Shredder, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Half-Shell Heroes: Blast To The Past, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Power Rangers: Megaforce: The Complete Season, Power Rangers: Super Megaforce: The Complete Season, Transformers: Robots In Disguise: Season 1, Heroes Reborn: The Complete Series, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, The Legend Of Korra: The Complete Series, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Haven: The Final Season, Under The Dome: Season 3, Quantum Leap: Season 1, Quantum Leap: Season 2, Quantum Leap: Season 3, Quantum Leap: Season 4, Quantum Leap: Season 5, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Sleepy Hollow: Season 3, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 3, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), Shaun The Sheep: The Farmer's Llamas, 12 Monkeys: Season 1, 12 Monkeys: Season 2, Grimm: Season 4, Grimm: Season 5, The Wonder Years: Season 4, The Wonder Years: Season 5, The Wonder Years: Season 6, The Peanuts Movie, Peanuts By Schulz: Snoopy Tales, Bob's Burgers: Season 5, Ghostbusters: Answer The Call, Community: Season 6, Hannibal: Season 1, Hannibal: Season 2, Hannibal: Season 3, Preacher: Season One, Danger Mouse: The Complete Series, Game Of Thrones: Season 5, and Game of Thrones: Season 6.
Doctor Who "The Pilot"
Like most recent Twelve episodes, this was too confusing for its own good. It had some nice moments though.
I like Bill more than I thought I would, and I like that she's a lesbian. That means if they go for a younger male Doctor when Capaldi regenerates, she won't be making moon-eyes at him (which will be refreshing for hunky Doctor). However if the Doctor regenerates into a woman all bets are off.
I love that Twelve has picture of Susan and River on his desk. The two most important women in his life.
I like the observation from Twelve that very few beings are evil, but they all are hungry, and how you see them depends on your side of the cutlery. The relaunch is always trying to state profound truths about the Universe through the Doctor, but that is one perspective that actually sounds true, and not b.s. to stroke Russell T Davies or Stephen Moffat's fangasm of the Doctor.
I love that when Bill asks Twelve how he'd like it if someone wiped his memory, Clara's theme plays. The Impossible Girl was stolen from him and he knows exactly how that feels.
The new Companion was better than average, but the episode was worse than average. **1/2.
Class "For Tonight We Might Die"
Rant coming.
Had no idea there was a Doctor Who spin-off coming. I saw it advertised during the season premiere, and that was literally the first I've heard of it. And suddenly it's on my TV roster.
That was average. Not bad. Not great. So-freaking-so.
And that makes me furious. Because that just means that there is absolutely no reason whatsoever Torchwood had to be as horrible as it was during its first two seasons.
Russell T Davies has always been a cr*p writer, but the truth is he was able to make the first two seasons of Doctor Who passable, and parts of the fourth. But that's just him latching onto an already established character from a franchise he absorbed as a kid. It was basically his version of writing decent fanfic. But Torchwood proved he had no good ideas himself. Everything about that show sucked, at least during the first two seasons. Every single character (I'm not joking ALL of them, even Captain Jack) were absolutely detestable, and I despised each with a passion. I never understood why fans were upset when Ianto was killed. He sucked exactly as much as everybody else.
And the stories were horrible and sucky and a case of Davies engaging in tropes that shouldn't be engaged in by ANY sensible writer. He had the character of Owen use an alien version of a date-rape drug in the Pilot, and brags in the special features on the DVD that he wouldn't mind one of those devices himself, without understanding it's rape. In the second season, he has one of the omnisexual characters (Captain John Hart) be sexually attracted to a poodle. Davies is gay. How in God's name does he not realizing he is feeding into every fundamentalist stereotype by tying being gay into rapists and people who engage in bestiality? And he is completely unaware that those are actually negative things. He is gay and is the one making the actual comparisons! That blows my mind! As much as I loved a great deal of David Tennant's run as the Doctor, I would give it all up if Torchwood didn't exist, and we didn't have the runner of the Whoniverse make it sound as if all gay people are rapists and perverts. What especially infuriates me about that is that Davies doesn't understand that's what he's doing, and declares all of the horrendous storytelling choices "Marvelous! Simply Marvelous!" The guy strikes me as a bona fide psychopath. If there is ever a TV writer or producer that it turns out is a secret rapist, pedophile, or serial killer, my money is on Davies. (Dark horse being Seth MacFarlane).
Moffat got a lot of crap thrown at him for how ridiculous Madame Vastra and Jenny wound up being portrayed. But I do not understand why haters of Moffat have such a hard time with those characters (and the bisexual River Song) when Davies spent his tenure as showrunner comparing gay people to rapists and dog-f*ckers. I do not get it. At all.
Back to Class. The fact that it is EASY to write a passable spin-off to Doctor Who, even if you use a darker and more adult tone, shows that Davies is probably the single worst thing to ever happen to Doctor Who. And yes, I realize he's the guy who rescued the franchise from mothballs. It's still true. Class is not great, but it's diverting enough, and is self-aware enough to point out it's practically a rip-off of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I could get used to it.
The Shadow King is going to be an interesting villain. I look forward to returning to him.
I think the biggest problem of the episode is that the Doctor, despite only showing up to save the day in the last fifteen minutes, is too heavily featured. It feels like two separate TV series (although we've never seen the Doctor himself around that much blood). But it's like Class is the teen sci-fi drama for the first three quarters, then turns into an episode of Doctor Who, and is back to teenage soap opera for the last five minutes. I don't know what the answer is. But The Sarah Jane Adventures had two different guest appearances by two different Doctors, and they never actually changed the feel of what TSJA was trying to do. Probably because the Doctor isn't the only person on-screen for the remainder of his guest star time, and we were able to cut back and forth to the minor characters as if it was a normal episode. I think another problem might have been that we don't actually know any of these characters the way we did the Sarah Jane cast, so the Doctor overpowers the Narrative in a way he would not if the main characters were introduced on the mothershow, and the Doctor himself waited a couple of seasons to show up. That's probably why it didn't work.
Two and half star quality. And that is kind of infuriating when I think back to how horrible Torchwood was. **1/2.
Teen Titans Go! "Hand Zombie"
I laughed when Robin's hand fell off.
And then I shuddered in revulsion at the idea Starfire went on a date with the hand. They are teenagers. The writers knew perfectly well the subtext of that plot when they wrote it. And it is super gross.
Negative grade. **.
Powerless "Emergency Punch-Up"
Vanessa Hudgens has an amazing singing voice. I'm in love.
Loved Wendy's reasons for picking Van for the deserted island. Frankly, they were actually sensible (especially the one where Van's rich so they'll be looking for him) even if they are also crazy.
Dr. Psycho's name was originally Dr. Psychowicz. They made him change it at Ellis Island.
"Emily's dying and we don't have a bathroom bucket. We are going to have to fix one of these things." Best line of the episode doesn't go to Van, but Jackie. That was a classic.
Pretty good. I imagine Vanessa Hudgens probably is going to develop a few fanboy stalkers after this show. And just based on how she unloaded on Alan Tudyk tonight, I could totally see her handing them their @$$es. Watch out, fellas. ****.
iZombie "Eat, Pray, Liv"
I've just decided I detest Ravi. He was benign and humorous before this week, but now there is nothing about the guy that doesn't suck. Forget him sleeping with Cupcakes. His treatment of Peyton before that was outright deplorable. And if he WAS in love with her, he would have actually not been making everything about himself.
I get Ravi having trouble getting Peyton and Blaine out of his head. I least I did when he was merely grousing about it to Liv. Then it was just talk. Then he brings it up with Peyton as if his problem should be hers, and it became real and sick. I thought it was incredibly insightful that Peyton told him she suspected he came over because he expected her to apologize to him. Which is pretty much the single most appalling thing a guy could do to a woman in that circumstance.
Other stuff happened during the episode (I like the idea that Blaine prefers not remembering what a scumbag he is) but it cannot wash the taste of what a creeper Ravi is out of my mouth. ***.
Samurai Jack "Episode XCVI"
Oh no! Aku killed the Scotsman! Whoa! He's now a Blue Ghost! Celtic Magic! Aha! That explains everything! Including learning once and for all that the Scotsman is not a robot. This show is so dopey.
There is no better evidence for Ashi about Jack's credibility about Aku sucking so much, than to go out into the world and experience it herself. What amazes me is that in Aku City, nobody is trying to hide what is going on. I cannot imagine concentration camps in Germany being a part of casual everyday conversation in WWII, but this strikes me as even more twisted, because nobody seems to understand that this is wrong. Or they do, but don't care because there is nothing anybody can do about it.
Is Jack wrong for giving up in that scenario? I think there is probably still one Time Portal left. Specifically the one he failed to pass the Guardian for in season one, because he hadn't aged into the warrior he was going to be in the future. The beard told me immediately in the season that that is the portal we will probably be returning to.
TV-PG, huh? Glad we're still getting some episodes of that.
Truth time: Jack's fairytale about the sun and moon was no less ridiculous than the idea of Aku as God. Which might have been Genndy's point.
That was fantastic. It is amazing how little actual evidence it took to turn Ashi. Because it is so blatant and in your face, there is no other option but to believe Jack. Next week will be cool. ****1/2.
Ben 10 "Shhh!"
Ben is far more annoying in this incarnation than I remembered.
That being said, the animation in this episode was tight and a big improvement from the original series.
Good animation, annoying characters. **1/2.
Ben 10 "Brief Career Of Lucky Girl"
Above average. Hex is the best villain so far (great design) and this was a pretty good eleven minute adaptation of Lucky Girl too. ****1/2.
Ben 10 "Animo Farm"
I like that one of the evil mutant animals the bad guys answer to is named Napoleon. ***.
Ben 10 "Clown College"
I laughed upon seeing the episode title.
Ben 10 does not get enough credit for creating decent original villains. The last action cartoon to do that was Gargoyles. In 1994. Zombozo is not only a great concept, but it strikes me as one I should have seen before. The fact that this show came up with it shows it is doing something right.
Max used to be a badminton champ? It's hard to believe this is the guy who spanked Vilgax.
Great episode. ****.
Marvel's Agents Of SHIELD "No Regrets"
The guy they got to play Fitz's abusive father was great. You sort of see and hear him in him, and yet his demeanor is completely different and explains the rebooted Fitz a lot.
I can't believe they gave us another "He's right behind me, isn't he?" Mutant Enemy always gets props for clever dialogue, but nobody engages in sucky dialogue more than them either. Unacceptable.
I'd be more moved by Mace's death, if I accepted it at face value. Since this is not a show that plays fair with the audience, I don't.
Good way to bring back B.J. Britt for a few episodes.
Better than last week, at least. ***1/2.
Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy "Black Helmet Woman"
This was actually really cool and a good way to kick off this arc. ****.
Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy "Right Place, Wrong Time"
Seriously, Rocket? Ghosts? How dumb are you?
Liked Nebula's end too. ****.
Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy "Me And You And A Dog Named Cosmo"
Funny stuff with Drax here. I like that we got an update with Tanah. ****1/2.
Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy "Can't Get It Out Of My Head"
How would a Peter Quill, who disappeared from Earth in the 1980's, know ANYTHING about a zombie apocalypse? Not buyin' it, Marvel. **.
Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy "Rock Your Baby"
Adam Warlock, huh? Interesting. ****.
Rocket And Groot "Compilation Special"
These shorts easily have the best Marvel TV animation I have ever seen. Fluid, expressive, well-timed, and all CGI. I'm impressed. ****.
Once Upon A Time "Awake"
This episode demonstrates exactly how bad the idea of Hook killing David's grandfather is: David forgives him and there are no repercussions. The show basically tortured the audience and Hook for no reason whatsoever. That is only done by the worst of TV shows and writers.
I'm inclined to call Snow and David waking up early a retcon. Simply because if it were always a part of the show Snow and David would have brought it up before tonight.
This show is working my nerves. **1/2.
Tangled: The Series "Cassandra v Eugene"
I love Disney. Because any other any genre show I watched would have had Eugene and Cassandra have sex in the prison cell and completely blow up the show for no reason. There is something to be said for G rated cartoons. Seriously.
The stuff with the cookies was funny too, as was Rapunzel laughing evilly. I pretty much adored Eugene's idea to get out of the cell: Wait until Rapunzel gives up and admits defeat. What is amazing to me about that plan is that it would have worked. Rapunzel is NOT the kind of chick who sees things through. Him telling a dreamless Cassandra she was hanging around the wrong princess was accurate.
I want more G rated cartoons that don't suck. They shouldn't be this rare. ****.
The Lion Guard "Ono The Tickbird"
Cute but dumb. This show in a nutshell. ***.
Prison Break "The Liar"
Wow, that escape attempt went as badly as it could have possibly gone. Even when Michael botched the first Fox River escape attempt, he didn't actually get caught. Next week hints that a very different kind of Prison Break is going to have to happen after plans laid that carefully go so fully up in smoke. The time for subtlety is over.
T-Bag continues to be the most interesting subplot of the relaunch. For some reason, I do not loathe him as much as I did on the original series. Which makes no sense because he is the exact same character.
Unsurprised Kellerman is behind Poseidon. Sarah was right not to trust him.
Love that woman telling that rapist that she was planning on tearing out his other eye. Just so we know how he lost the first.
Good week. ****.
American Dad! "The Witches Of Langley"
Average.
One thing to note: This episode broke a cardinal American Dad! rule: The characters could understand Toshi. But I see why Steve was underwhelmed with his darkest secret.
So-so. ***.
Bates Motel "Visiting Hours"
That was like a punch in the gut. Emma's scene with Norman was riveting and I have never hated him more. I want him to be found out for Norma and ESPECIALLY Caleb next week. Him having to answer for Bradley and Dr. Edwards would be equally satisfying.
I like that the series pointed out that Norma would NOT want Romero to kill her son. His response is perfect: She's dead. She doesn't get a say in the matter. And as wrong as he is actually doing by Norma's memory, that makes a weird kind of sense.
I was disappointed that Dylan went to the hearing, but appreciated that he walked out of it in disgust. THOSE were bad optics for Norman.
I was hoping we would have gotten the trial in the last episode, but it looks like the series is going for something more finite. It seems more likely to me that Norman is going to die next week than spend the rest of his life in a mental institution.
Great episode. ****1/2.
Fargo "The Law Of Vacant Places"
The crime on this show always seems to be half accident, and the real disasters come from the clean-up.
That was quality nudity of the woman coming out of the tub. Totally see why the parole officer was distracted.
Do you know what WASN'T quality nudity? Ewan MacGregor. Dude has let himself go big time.
Unlike the crimes of Lester or the family last year, this seems like an almost perfect one. I see some loopholes as to how they can get caught (foot print on the air conditioner, there appeared to be a witness in the apartment below as the camera panned down). But I was as impressed by the woman's quick thinking as the parole officer was.
Interesting opening but no clue what it had to do with anything. Last year's first scene was unrelated to everything else too.
I want to see more of that woman's bum and bare back. We get more of that and I'll call the season a success. ***.
Angie Tribeca "Murder Gras"
Pretty funny. Angie having a crush on the serial killer will never get old. ***1/2.
The Blacklist "Dembe Zuma / Requiem"
Both outstanding episodes. I'm not going to say all is forgiven (it IS this show, and I know they'll screw up again) but just based on these two episodes, I'll let all the cr*p that happened before it slide. Which is major for me. This courtesy will not extend to after the show messes up again. I am in a very rare good headspace for this show, and I am well aware that it will not last.
Dembe Zuma:
I'm relieved that Dembe is innocent, but if he is, I question why the show gave us the 8 week cliffhanger that it did. That should not have happened unless he had truly betrayed Red. I'm glad he didn't, but the last episode upset me, and I'm betting the audience for no good reason.
Love that the sexy spy who was too hot to believably fall for Aram, fell for Aram. That sounds about right.
The topless bee shirt was both sexy and scary as sin. It was hot and repulsive at the same time. Do you know what that was? The Borg Queen. Totally.
Gus using an Uber driver for Red's getaway car is perfect. Because Gus knows it's stupid and dumb, but does it precisely to make Red mad. What exactly does he have on Raymond Reddington that makes it so he hasn't put a bullet in the head of this bona fide pain in the @$$ years ago? I don't get it, but I love it.
The only thing I didn't like about the episode is that it appeared Kaplan framed Dembe for her crimes. Which considering what was revealed in the next episode, is something she did not need to do. But we'll get to that. *****.
Requiem:
This turned around everything I thought I knew about the series. Red is not the anti-hero of the series. Kaplan is. I had no clue that her loyalty and love for Liz was that lifelong or deeply ingrained and what exactly it entailed. And for Red to shoot her, after telling her up-front that he expected her to choose Liz's welfare over his means that whatever happens, Kaplan is the hero of the season, if not the series.
It amazes me that Kaplan is gay. Because it makes me realize we knew nothing about her personal life. We never did. But just the fact that it sort of seemed like her and Liz's mother were secretly in love with each other, and ripped apart before both understood that was what was going on, and WAY before they could have ever done anything about it, makes me realize I didn't understand Kaplan at all.
What I love about Kaplan's lie about a powerful abusive ex after her is that it's kind of true, even if the details are different. Red DID commit that act of violence against a woman, as genteel as he likes to present himself as. And as Red noted, Kaplan is the type of person who inspires fierce instant loyalty. That redneck yokel blew himself up without a second thought for her, and this was after he practically held her prisoner. She changes people's minds. Which is why I was not only astounded that she got that female cop to give her advice about safe states to travel to and then tell her to go, but I'm astounded at the idea that before tonight I would have expected Kaplan to respond violently to protect herself. And she doesn't need to do that. Because she actually has the high ground and always did.
What all this tells me is that she is going to be drawing very sharp lines for Red's friends and daring them to cross them. Dembe won't side with her, simply because she framed him. But I think if Liz ever found out she was her beloved Nana, there is every possibility she would side with her over Red. Red's biggest weapon is his ability to make friends with the right people at the right time. That is his most formidable gift, and the precise reason he got the power he did. What this episode tells me is that a woman who has practically nothing (and never did) is probably more skilled at the art of convincing people to join her than Red is. And that could potentially be Red's entire downfall. He didn't just get an enemy who was better at him at any various crime. He got an enemy who is better than him at the very skill that made him a success in the first place.
The dance between Anna and Kate was so sweet, because at that point, Kate isn't even aware she's gay. She consents to the dance out of sheer surprise, and it amazes me that Anna picked this up about her immediately when it isn't something I ever considered either.
Amazing episode. Whatever happens next, I am team Kaplan. I hope she survives the season, because she is the only person truly looking out for Liz's interests. And her cause (minus framing Dembe) is actually righteous.
I'm happy with this show for the first time in a few seasons. *****.
The Last Days Of Coney Island
I don't even know why I'm disappointed. If there is one thing Ralph Bakshi has proven over his 60 year career, it's that he cannot tell a coherent narrative to save his life. I figured that was just a sign of the times when his 70's underground cartoons were produced, but with the exception of Wizards (which is admittedly great) the best Bakshi projects are written by other people. It figures. I mean, I loved Spicy City. And I just assumed that sensibility would be transferred to any later adult projects. But no, Spicy City was written by other people, and Bakshi himself is a crap writer (Wizards again excepted).
That was the longest In Memoriam card I have ever seen attached to any project. It bummed me out a little, to be honest.
How was the animation? It sucked, and I'm super disappointed it sucked as much as it did. When fundraising the Kickstarter to this, Bakshi claimed that this would have the best animation of any of his projects, and because of computers, it could be done on the cheap. Well, the animation is choppy, and ugly, and half of the movie seems to be taken up by background shots to save money. Mighty Mouse: The New Adventures, Spicy City, Fire And Ice, Wizards, and ESPECIALLY Cool World had better animation than this. Even Hey Good Lookin' never looked this unprofessional. I cannot comment on Fritz the Cat, Heavy Traffic, Coonskin, or American Pop because it's been ages since I've seen them.
And can I just say how upsetting it was to see footage of the JFK assassination with zero warning ahead of time? Bakshi always thinks he's being edgy, but his thoughtlessness towards certain segments of his audience borders on abusive.
What the animation here tells me is that if Bakshi tries to fundraise for a Wizards 2, a movie I desperately want to see made, if this is as good as the animation could be, I won't pitch in. It sucks.
About the best thing that can be said for this movie is that it is only 22 and a half minutes long. *.
But the spoiler warning goes for the rest of the reviews. Also reviews for the season premiere of Doctor Who, the series premiere of Class, the latest episodes of Teen Titans Go!, Powerless, iZombie, Samurai Jack, Ben 10, Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D., and Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy, the special Rocket And Groot, the latest episodes of Once Upon A Time, Tangled: The Series, The Lion Guard, Prison Break, American Dad!, and Bates Motel, the season premiere of Fargo, and the latest episodes of Angie Tribeca and The Blacklist.
Upcoming reviews include Doctor Who: Series 9, The X-Files: Season 10, Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Ant-Man (Blu-Ray), Captain America: Civil War (Blu-Ray), Doctor Strange (Blu-Ray), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, Daredevil: Season 1, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, Deadpool, X-Men: Apocalypse (Blu-Ray), The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes! Season 1, The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes! Season 2, Zootopia, Moana (Blu-Ray), Inside Out (Blu-Ray), The Good Dinosaur (Blu-Ray), Finding Dory (Blu-Ray), Once Upon A Time: Season 5, The BFG, Tomorrowland, Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Blu-Ray), Star Wars Rebels: Season 2, Lego Star Wars: Droid Tales, Lego Star Wars: The Freemaker Adventures: Season One, Jim Henson's Turkey Hollow (DVD), Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them (Blu-Ray), Static Shock: Season 1, The Zeta Project: Season 2, Teen Titans Go!: Get In Pig Out, Justice League Dark, Teen Titans: The Judas Contract, Suicide Squad (Blu-Ray), The Flash: Season 2, Arrow: Season 4, DC's Legends Of Tomorrow: Season 1, Supergirl: Season 1, Gotham: Season 2, iZombie: Season 1, iZombie: Season 2, Lucifer: Season 1, Be Cool Scooby Doo!: Spooky Kooky Fun!, Wabbit: A Looney Tunes Prod.: Hare-Raising Tales, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Beyond The Known Universe, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Earth's Last Stand, Tales Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Super Shredder, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Half-Shell Heroes: Blast To The Past, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Power Rangers: Megaforce: The Complete Season, Power Rangers: Super Megaforce: The Complete Season, Transformers: Robots In Disguise: Season 1, Heroes Reborn: The Complete Series, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, The Legend Of Korra: The Complete Series, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Haven: The Final Season, Under The Dome: Season 3, Quantum Leap: Season 1, Quantum Leap: Season 2, Quantum Leap: Season 3, Quantum Leap: Season 4, Quantum Leap: Season 5, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Sleepy Hollow: Season 3, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 3, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), Shaun The Sheep: The Farmer's Llamas, 12 Monkeys: Season 1, 12 Monkeys: Season 2, Grimm: Season 4, Grimm: Season 5, The Wonder Years: Season 4, The Wonder Years: Season 5, The Wonder Years: Season 6, The Peanuts Movie, Peanuts By Schulz: Snoopy Tales, Bob's Burgers: Season 5, Ghostbusters: Answer The Call, Community: Season 6, Hannibal: Season 1, Hannibal: Season 2, Hannibal: Season 3, Preacher: Season One, Danger Mouse: The Complete Series, Game Of Thrones: Season 5, and Game of Thrones: Season 6.
Doctor Who "The Pilot"
Like most recent Twelve episodes, this was too confusing for its own good. It had some nice moments though.
I like Bill more than I thought I would, and I like that she's a lesbian. That means if they go for a younger male Doctor when Capaldi regenerates, she won't be making moon-eyes at him (which will be refreshing for hunky Doctor). However if the Doctor regenerates into a woman all bets are off.
I love that Twelve has picture of Susan and River on his desk. The two most important women in his life.
I like the observation from Twelve that very few beings are evil, but they all are hungry, and how you see them depends on your side of the cutlery. The relaunch is always trying to state profound truths about the Universe through the Doctor, but that is one perspective that actually sounds true, and not b.s. to stroke Russell T Davies or Stephen Moffat's fangasm of the Doctor.
I love that when Bill asks Twelve how he'd like it if someone wiped his memory, Clara's theme plays. The Impossible Girl was stolen from him and he knows exactly how that feels.
The new Companion was better than average, but the episode was worse than average. **1/2.
Class "For Tonight We Might Die"
Rant coming.
Had no idea there was a Doctor Who spin-off coming. I saw it advertised during the season premiere, and that was literally the first I've heard of it. And suddenly it's on my TV roster.
That was average. Not bad. Not great. So-freaking-so.
And that makes me furious. Because that just means that there is absolutely no reason whatsoever Torchwood had to be as horrible as it was during its first two seasons.
Russell T Davies has always been a cr*p writer, but the truth is he was able to make the first two seasons of Doctor Who passable, and parts of the fourth. But that's just him latching onto an already established character from a franchise he absorbed as a kid. It was basically his version of writing decent fanfic. But Torchwood proved he had no good ideas himself. Everything about that show sucked, at least during the first two seasons. Every single character (I'm not joking ALL of them, even Captain Jack) were absolutely detestable, and I despised each with a passion. I never understood why fans were upset when Ianto was killed. He sucked exactly as much as everybody else.
And the stories were horrible and sucky and a case of Davies engaging in tropes that shouldn't be engaged in by ANY sensible writer. He had the character of Owen use an alien version of a date-rape drug in the Pilot, and brags in the special features on the DVD that he wouldn't mind one of those devices himself, without understanding it's rape. In the second season, he has one of the omnisexual characters (Captain John Hart) be sexually attracted to a poodle. Davies is gay. How in God's name does he not realizing he is feeding into every fundamentalist stereotype by tying being gay into rapists and people who engage in bestiality? And he is completely unaware that those are actually negative things. He is gay and is the one making the actual comparisons! That blows my mind! As much as I loved a great deal of David Tennant's run as the Doctor, I would give it all up if Torchwood didn't exist, and we didn't have the runner of the Whoniverse make it sound as if all gay people are rapists and perverts. What especially infuriates me about that is that Davies doesn't understand that's what he's doing, and declares all of the horrendous storytelling choices "Marvelous! Simply Marvelous!" The guy strikes me as a bona fide psychopath. If there is ever a TV writer or producer that it turns out is a secret rapist, pedophile, or serial killer, my money is on Davies. (Dark horse being Seth MacFarlane).
Moffat got a lot of crap thrown at him for how ridiculous Madame Vastra and Jenny wound up being portrayed. But I do not understand why haters of Moffat have such a hard time with those characters (and the bisexual River Song) when Davies spent his tenure as showrunner comparing gay people to rapists and dog-f*ckers. I do not get it. At all.
Back to Class. The fact that it is EASY to write a passable spin-off to Doctor Who, even if you use a darker and more adult tone, shows that Davies is probably the single worst thing to ever happen to Doctor Who. And yes, I realize he's the guy who rescued the franchise from mothballs. It's still true. Class is not great, but it's diverting enough, and is self-aware enough to point out it's practically a rip-off of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I could get used to it.
The Shadow King is going to be an interesting villain. I look forward to returning to him.
I think the biggest problem of the episode is that the Doctor, despite only showing up to save the day in the last fifteen minutes, is too heavily featured. It feels like two separate TV series (although we've never seen the Doctor himself around that much blood). But it's like Class is the teen sci-fi drama for the first three quarters, then turns into an episode of Doctor Who, and is back to teenage soap opera for the last five minutes. I don't know what the answer is. But The Sarah Jane Adventures had two different guest appearances by two different Doctors, and they never actually changed the feel of what TSJA was trying to do. Probably because the Doctor isn't the only person on-screen for the remainder of his guest star time, and we were able to cut back and forth to the minor characters as if it was a normal episode. I think another problem might have been that we don't actually know any of these characters the way we did the Sarah Jane cast, so the Doctor overpowers the Narrative in a way he would not if the main characters were introduced on the mothershow, and the Doctor himself waited a couple of seasons to show up. That's probably why it didn't work.
Two and half star quality. And that is kind of infuriating when I think back to how horrible Torchwood was. **1/2.
Teen Titans Go! "Hand Zombie"
I laughed when Robin's hand fell off.
And then I shuddered in revulsion at the idea Starfire went on a date with the hand. They are teenagers. The writers knew perfectly well the subtext of that plot when they wrote it. And it is super gross.
Negative grade. **.
Powerless "Emergency Punch-Up"
Vanessa Hudgens has an amazing singing voice. I'm in love.
Loved Wendy's reasons for picking Van for the deserted island. Frankly, they were actually sensible (especially the one where Van's rich so they'll be looking for him) even if they are also crazy.
Dr. Psycho's name was originally Dr. Psychowicz. They made him change it at Ellis Island.
"Emily's dying and we don't have a bathroom bucket. We are going to have to fix one of these things." Best line of the episode doesn't go to Van, but Jackie. That was a classic.
Pretty good. I imagine Vanessa Hudgens probably is going to develop a few fanboy stalkers after this show. And just based on how she unloaded on Alan Tudyk tonight, I could totally see her handing them their @$$es. Watch out, fellas. ****.
iZombie "Eat, Pray, Liv"
I've just decided I detest Ravi. He was benign and humorous before this week, but now there is nothing about the guy that doesn't suck. Forget him sleeping with Cupcakes. His treatment of Peyton before that was outright deplorable. And if he WAS in love with her, he would have actually not been making everything about himself.
I get Ravi having trouble getting Peyton and Blaine out of his head. I least I did when he was merely grousing about it to Liv. Then it was just talk. Then he brings it up with Peyton as if his problem should be hers, and it became real and sick. I thought it was incredibly insightful that Peyton told him she suspected he came over because he expected her to apologize to him. Which is pretty much the single most appalling thing a guy could do to a woman in that circumstance.
Other stuff happened during the episode (I like the idea that Blaine prefers not remembering what a scumbag he is) but it cannot wash the taste of what a creeper Ravi is out of my mouth. ***.
Samurai Jack "Episode XCVI"
Oh no! Aku killed the Scotsman! Whoa! He's now a Blue Ghost! Celtic Magic! Aha! That explains everything! Including learning once and for all that the Scotsman is not a robot. This show is so dopey.
There is no better evidence for Ashi about Jack's credibility about Aku sucking so much, than to go out into the world and experience it herself. What amazes me is that in Aku City, nobody is trying to hide what is going on. I cannot imagine concentration camps in Germany being a part of casual everyday conversation in WWII, but this strikes me as even more twisted, because nobody seems to understand that this is wrong. Or they do, but don't care because there is nothing anybody can do about it.
Is Jack wrong for giving up in that scenario? I think there is probably still one Time Portal left. Specifically the one he failed to pass the Guardian for in season one, because he hadn't aged into the warrior he was going to be in the future. The beard told me immediately in the season that that is the portal we will probably be returning to.
TV-PG, huh? Glad we're still getting some episodes of that.
Truth time: Jack's fairytale about the sun and moon was no less ridiculous than the idea of Aku as God. Which might have been Genndy's point.
That was fantastic. It is amazing how little actual evidence it took to turn Ashi. Because it is so blatant and in your face, there is no other option but to believe Jack. Next week will be cool. ****1/2.
Ben 10 "Shhh!"
Ben is far more annoying in this incarnation than I remembered.
That being said, the animation in this episode was tight and a big improvement from the original series.
Good animation, annoying characters. **1/2.
Ben 10 "Brief Career Of Lucky Girl"
Above average. Hex is the best villain so far (great design) and this was a pretty good eleven minute adaptation of Lucky Girl too. ****1/2.
Ben 10 "Animo Farm"
I like that one of the evil mutant animals the bad guys answer to is named Napoleon. ***.
Ben 10 "Clown College"
I laughed upon seeing the episode title.
Ben 10 does not get enough credit for creating decent original villains. The last action cartoon to do that was Gargoyles. In 1994. Zombozo is not only a great concept, but it strikes me as one I should have seen before. The fact that this show came up with it shows it is doing something right.
Max used to be a badminton champ? It's hard to believe this is the guy who spanked Vilgax.
Great episode. ****.
Marvel's Agents Of SHIELD "No Regrets"
The guy they got to play Fitz's abusive father was great. You sort of see and hear him in him, and yet his demeanor is completely different and explains the rebooted Fitz a lot.
I can't believe they gave us another "He's right behind me, isn't he?" Mutant Enemy always gets props for clever dialogue, but nobody engages in sucky dialogue more than them either. Unacceptable.
I'd be more moved by Mace's death, if I accepted it at face value. Since this is not a show that plays fair with the audience, I don't.
Good way to bring back B.J. Britt for a few episodes.
Better than last week, at least. ***1/2.
Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy "Black Helmet Woman"
This was actually really cool and a good way to kick off this arc. ****.
Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy "Right Place, Wrong Time"
Seriously, Rocket? Ghosts? How dumb are you?
Liked Nebula's end too. ****.
Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy "Me And You And A Dog Named Cosmo"
Funny stuff with Drax here. I like that we got an update with Tanah. ****1/2.
Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy "Can't Get It Out Of My Head"
How would a Peter Quill, who disappeared from Earth in the 1980's, know ANYTHING about a zombie apocalypse? Not buyin' it, Marvel. **.
Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy "Rock Your Baby"
Adam Warlock, huh? Interesting. ****.
Rocket And Groot "Compilation Special"
These shorts easily have the best Marvel TV animation I have ever seen. Fluid, expressive, well-timed, and all CGI. I'm impressed. ****.
Once Upon A Time "Awake"
This episode demonstrates exactly how bad the idea of Hook killing David's grandfather is: David forgives him and there are no repercussions. The show basically tortured the audience and Hook for no reason whatsoever. That is only done by the worst of TV shows and writers.
I'm inclined to call Snow and David waking up early a retcon. Simply because if it were always a part of the show Snow and David would have brought it up before tonight.
This show is working my nerves. **1/2.
Tangled: The Series "Cassandra v Eugene"
I love Disney. Because any other any genre show I watched would have had Eugene and Cassandra have sex in the prison cell and completely blow up the show for no reason. There is something to be said for G rated cartoons. Seriously.
The stuff with the cookies was funny too, as was Rapunzel laughing evilly. I pretty much adored Eugene's idea to get out of the cell: Wait until Rapunzel gives up and admits defeat. What is amazing to me about that plan is that it would have worked. Rapunzel is NOT the kind of chick who sees things through. Him telling a dreamless Cassandra she was hanging around the wrong princess was accurate.
I want more G rated cartoons that don't suck. They shouldn't be this rare. ****.
The Lion Guard "Ono The Tickbird"
Cute but dumb. This show in a nutshell. ***.
Prison Break "The Liar"
Wow, that escape attempt went as badly as it could have possibly gone. Even when Michael botched the first Fox River escape attempt, he didn't actually get caught. Next week hints that a very different kind of Prison Break is going to have to happen after plans laid that carefully go so fully up in smoke. The time for subtlety is over.
T-Bag continues to be the most interesting subplot of the relaunch. For some reason, I do not loathe him as much as I did on the original series. Which makes no sense because he is the exact same character.
Unsurprised Kellerman is behind Poseidon. Sarah was right not to trust him.
Love that woman telling that rapist that she was planning on tearing out his other eye. Just so we know how he lost the first.
Good week. ****.
American Dad! "The Witches Of Langley"
Average.
One thing to note: This episode broke a cardinal American Dad! rule: The characters could understand Toshi. But I see why Steve was underwhelmed with his darkest secret.
So-so. ***.
Bates Motel "Visiting Hours"
That was like a punch in the gut. Emma's scene with Norman was riveting and I have never hated him more. I want him to be found out for Norma and ESPECIALLY Caleb next week. Him having to answer for Bradley and Dr. Edwards would be equally satisfying.
I like that the series pointed out that Norma would NOT want Romero to kill her son. His response is perfect: She's dead. She doesn't get a say in the matter. And as wrong as he is actually doing by Norma's memory, that makes a weird kind of sense.
I was disappointed that Dylan went to the hearing, but appreciated that he walked out of it in disgust. THOSE were bad optics for Norman.
I was hoping we would have gotten the trial in the last episode, but it looks like the series is going for something more finite. It seems more likely to me that Norman is going to die next week than spend the rest of his life in a mental institution.
Great episode. ****1/2.
Fargo "The Law Of Vacant Places"
The crime on this show always seems to be half accident, and the real disasters come from the clean-up.
That was quality nudity of the woman coming out of the tub. Totally see why the parole officer was distracted.
Do you know what WASN'T quality nudity? Ewan MacGregor. Dude has let himself go big time.
Unlike the crimes of Lester or the family last year, this seems like an almost perfect one. I see some loopholes as to how they can get caught (foot print on the air conditioner, there appeared to be a witness in the apartment below as the camera panned down). But I was as impressed by the woman's quick thinking as the parole officer was.
Interesting opening but no clue what it had to do with anything. Last year's first scene was unrelated to everything else too.
I want to see more of that woman's bum and bare back. We get more of that and I'll call the season a success. ***.
Angie Tribeca "Murder Gras"
Pretty funny. Angie having a crush on the serial killer will never get old. ***1/2.
The Blacklist "Dembe Zuma / Requiem"
Both outstanding episodes. I'm not going to say all is forgiven (it IS this show, and I know they'll screw up again) but just based on these two episodes, I'll let all the cr*p that happened before it slide. Which is major for me. This courtesy will not extend to after the show messes up again. I am in a very rare good headspace for this show, and I am well aware that it will not last.
Dembe Zuma:
I'm relieved that Dembe is innocent, but if he is, I question why the show gave us the 8 week cliffhanger that it did. That should not have happened unless he had truly betrayed Red. I'm glad he didn't, but the last episode upset me, and I'm betting the audience for no good reason.
Love that the sexy spy who was too hot to believably fall for Aram, fell for Aram. That sounds about right.
The topless bee shirt was both sexy and scary as sin. It was hot and repulsive at the same time. Do you know what that was? The Borg Queen. Totally.
Gus using an Uber driver for Red's getaway car is perfect. Because Gus knows it's stupid and dumb, but does it precisely to make Red mad. What exactly does he have on Raymond Reddington that makes it so he hasn't put a bullet in the head of this bona fide pain in the @$$ years ago? I don't get it, but I love it.
The only thing I didn't like about the episode is that it appeared Kaplan framed Dembe for her crimes. Which considering what was revealed in the next episode, is something she did not need to do. But we'll get to that. *****.
Requiem:
This turned around everything I thought I knew about the series. Red is not the anti-hero of the series. Kaplan is. I had no clue that her loyalty and love for Liz was that lifelong or deeply ingrained and what exactly it entailed. And for Red to shoot her, after telling her up-front that he expected her to choose Liz's welfare over his means that whatever happens, Kaplan is the hero of the season, if not the series.
It amazes me that Kaplan is gay. Because it makes me realize we knew nothing about her personal life. We never did. But just the fact that it sort of seemed like her and Liz's mother were secretly in love with each other, and ripped apart before both understood that was what was going on, and WAY before they could have ever done anything about it, makes me realize I didn't understand Kaplan at all.
What I love about Kaplan's lie about a powerful abusive ex after her is that it's kind of true, even if the details are different. Red DID commit that act of violence against a woman, as genteel as he likes to present himself as. And as Red noted, Kaplan is the type of person who inspires fierce instant loyalty. That redneck yokel blew himself up without a second thought for her, and this was after he practically held her prisoner. She changes people's minds. Which is why I was not only astounded that she got that female cop to give her advice about safe states to travel to and then tell her to go, but I'm astounded at the idea that before tonight I would have expected Kaplan to respond violently to protect herself. And she doesn't need to do that. Because she actually has the high ground and always did.
What all this tells me is that she is going to be drawing very sharp lines for Red's friends and daring them to cross them. Dembe won't side with her, simply because she framed him. But I think if Liz ever found out she was her beloved Nana, there is every possibility she would side with her over Red. Red's biggest weapon is his ability to make friends with the right people at the right time. That is his most formidable gift, and the precise reason he got the power he did. What this episode tells me is that a woman who has practically nothing (and never did) is probably more skilled at the art of convincing people to join her than Red is. And that could potentially be Red's entire downfall. He didn't just get an enemy who was better at him at any various crime. He got an enemy who is better than him at the very skill that made him a success in the first place.
The dance between Anna and Kate was so sweet, because at that point, Kate isn't even aware she's gay. She consents to the dance out of sheer surprise, and it amazes me that Anna picked this up about her immediately when it isn't something I ever considered either.
Amazing episode. Whatever happens next, I am team Kaplan. I hope she survives the season, because she is the only person truly looking out for Liz's interests. And her cause (minus framing Dembe) is actually righteous.
I'm happy with this show for the first time in a few seasons. *****.
The Last Days Of Coney Island
I don't even know why I'm disappointed. If there is one thing Ralph Bakshi has proven over his 60 year career, it's that he cannot tell a coherent narrative to save his life. I figured that was just a sign of the times when his 70's underground cartoons were produced, but with the exception of Wizards (which is admittedly great) the best Bakshi projects are written by other people. It figures. I mean, I loved Spicy City. And I just assumed that sensibility would be transferred to any later adult projects. But no, Spicy City was written by other people, and Bakshi himself is a crap writer (Wizards again excepted).
That was the longest In Memoriam card I have ever seen attached to any project. It bummed me out a little, to be honest.
How was the animation? It sucked, and I'm super disappointed it sucked as much as it did. When fundraising the Kickstarter to this, Bakshi claimed that this would have the best animation of any of his projects, and because of computers, it could be done on the cheap. Well, the animation is choppy, and ugly, and half of the movie seems to be taken up by background shots to save money. Mighty Mouse: The New Adventures, Spicy City, Fire And Ice, Wizards, and ESPECIALLY Cool World had better animation than this. Even Hey Good Lookin' never looked this unprofessional. I cannot comment on Fritz the Cat, Heavy Traffic, Coonskin, or American Pop because it's been ages since I've seen them.
And can I just say how upsetting it was to see footage of the JFK assassination with zero warning ahead of time? Bakshi always thinks he's being edgy, but his thoughtlessness towards certain segments of his audience borders on abusive.
What the animation here tells me is that if Bakshi tries to fundraise for a Wizards 2, a movie I desperately want to see made, if this is as good as the animation could be, I won't pitch in. It sucks.
About the best thing that can be said for this movie is that it is only 22 and a half minutes long. *.