Star Wars: Rogue One Review (Spoilers)
Also reviews for the latest episodes of Justice League Action, Teen Titans Go!, DC Super Hero Girls, Supergirl, The Flash, DC's Legends Of Tomorrow, Powerless, The Powerpuff Girls, Legion, Star Wars Rebels, and Once Upon A Time, the premiere of Tangled: The Series, the latest episodes of Elena Of Avalor, Power Rangers Ninja Steel, The Simpsons, Grimm, Sleepy Hollow, and Bob's Burgers, the premiere of Making History, the latest episodes The Last Man On Earth and Family Guy, the season finale of Emerald City, and the latest episodes of Colony, Bates Motel, and The Blacklist: Redemption.
Star Wars: Rogue One
Amazing. So is this the new normal? Will we only be getting five star Star Wars films from now on?
Remember when Quentin Taratino complained the Disney acquisition turned the franchise into Disneyfied sh*t without having seen a single movie? Empire and Revenge of the Sith at their absolute darkest never killed off the entire main cast. Since Disney has taken over, Star Wars has gotten gutsier than it has ever been. Han Solo's death was just the tip of the iceberg. Tarantino, as always, has no idea what he's talking about.
I love the Droid K, and was heartbroken when he was killed off. But when he was, I knew we were in for a Wild Bunch ending.
Leia at the end was amazing, and I love that the movie is nonstop action right to the closing scene. And this is pretty much the Darth Vader we've always wanted to see.
I love that they recreated Peter Cushing through CGI for Tarkin. I hope this isn't the last time a major genre franchise does something like this. We could reunite the entire original Star Trek cast this way.
I love that they turned the Death Star design flaw from the original movie from a stupid plot hole, into deliberate sabotage. And it fits seamlessly. I think the biggest clue that George Lucas is a lousy storyteller is that he didn't think up this idea himself. It's pretty freaking obvious.
I was not expecting too much, and was amazed that we got the second best Star Wars film after Force Awakens. No complaints. *****.
Justice League Action "Play Date"
So Teen Titans Go!'s Cyborg likes 80's sitcoms. Justice League Action's Cyborg likes 90's fighting platform videogames.
If you cannot appreciate the genius of Toyman making Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman, and Cyborg disco in synch, you hate America. There, I said it.
Loved all of the different Wonder Woman costumes, and laughed at Batman's "I. Am. Batman!" moments. Either Kevin Conroy had a lot of fun with that, or he wound up super embarrassed. I hope it's the former.
So when do we actually SEE Robin? He was name-dropped twice. I want an appearance now.
Ken Jeong is as precisely funny as Toyman as you'd expect him to be. Second choice for the casting of this version would have been Patton Oswalt.
Fun episode. ****.
Teen Titans Go! "Permanent Record"
Does anybody even still know who Mr. Kotter is? Do people who lived in the 70's and 80's even remember who Mr. Kotter is? Because I don't. What was I talking about?
Beast Boy's explanation about the blue sky thing explained it better than I've ever been able to grasp it as a kid. The reflecting water thing always bothered me because water is actually clear, not blue. So an equally good case could be made that the oceans are blue because they are reflecting the sky. Gasses capturing parts of the rainbow makes much more sense, even if Beast Boy describes it in a cartoon manner.
Love the idea of Starfire teaching to proper grammatical use of the word "the". That is just so the appropriate.
Love Cyborg teaching chemistry in an afro and sideburns.
Raven turning into the sub to blow off the rest of the day was genius. Bet the others wish they thought of that.
Pretty funny. This show isn't always. ****.
Teen Titans Go! "Titan Saving Day"
I think the Titans are running out of holidays to celebrate. Daylight Saving Time is even worse than "It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown."
This was dumb, even for this show. *.
DC Super Hero Girls "Spring Prison Break"
Liked the designs of Lashina and Mad Harriet, not so much Stompa.
The flashback adventure seems to take place before "Hero of the Year", which is when Big Barda reformed (I think). I don't know for sure. It's hard to keep things straight and this sure as heck isn't a continuity I obsess over. ***1/2.
Supergirl "Exodus"
My mixed feelings for that are all over the map. Is it good? Is it bad? What is it trying to say? Why can't I tell?
Every moral in this episode contradicts each other. And it's not simply an opposing viewpoint. I truly think the things the characters tried to prevent their friends from doing were the right ones, and the fact that the character doing the opposite thing worked out is purely random luck.
The whole thing seems to be a slam on the Trump Administration. But is it? I can't really tell. The episode must have been in production awhile, and the Muslim ban and immigration nightmare only started in January. Then again, it's all stuff we knew was gonna happen, so maybe the episode just had foresight. The line about reporters not doing their jobs allowing fascists to get elected President says it IS a Trump slam.
Then I'm like, this CAN'T a slam on Trump. Because it guest stars Dean Cain and Kevin Sorbo, two of Trump's biggest Hollywood supporters (which is admittedly pathetic). But I can't imagine they would have signed up for this if a real-world allegory for their hero was deliberate. To be fair, both Cain and Sorbo seem incredibly thick-witted in every interview I've seen them do, but even if Cain seems like a nice enough guy to do DC a solid even if he disagrees with their politics, Sorbo is not. I do not get it.
The other thing is that all of the wrong characters are right in this episode. J'onn would have been absolutely right to apologize to Alex for impersonating her father... if she passed the test. The fact that she didn't meant that he was right to do it, and owed her no apology. I am gobsmacked that the episode had Alex actually be right and save the day at the end. Because being willing to compromise the ADF for your criminal father are not actions that are done by a righteous person. The fact that Jeremiah seems to repent at the end, and it turns out she was right all along, is the wrong moral, especially after she nearly beat that guy to death.
Similarly, Mon-El telling Kara to pull the trigger on the blog because it was the moral thing to do was the wrong lesson too... for all of the reasons Snapper stated at the end. What I do not get is why she didn't try to fix the Snapper situation herself. She had a solution right in front of her nose: Lena Luthor could have been her second source! And she didn't even ask! It doesn't help that Lena puts the blog idea in her head, but if Snapper is right (and he is) then Kara had a perfect opportunity to work within the rules he set up. And it would have worked. Because as he admitted, he had been rooting for her.
The fact that none of the actors from Lois and Clark or Desperate Housewives appeared together in the same scene is another thing that confuses me. Huge Reunions completely thwarted. And I don't know why.
I have no idea what to make of this episode. **1/2.
The Flash "The Wrath Of Savitar"
Now we know why Wally didn't stop Savitar in the first place. He was in the penalty box. I still think Flash's plan to have Wally stop him is the right one, so next week he should expend all of his time and effort to free him.
I hate predestination / prophecy storytelling, but we'll see what this show can do with it. I'm not hopeful. ***.
DC's Legends Of Tomorrow "Land Of The Lost"
Great episode title. Works on two levels.
Nice to see Amy Pemberton in the flesh! I squeed when Rip kissed her. I love that she remembered it at the end. She is super beautiful.
Speaking of squeeing, watching Amaya do that Jedi mind trick with the T-Rex made me understand exactly how important this woman will be to history, and why Ray's cautions to Nate were correct. I fell in love with her in that moment too. Very cool that the Vixen cartoon is getting mentioned, and is definitely Arrowverse canon.
Interesting that there are no guest stars until the last scene. This was almost a bottle episode in how intimate it was.
My one complaint is that the Firestorm effects look unusually cheap looking. Maybe they blew their wad on the dinosaur, but they are usually better than that.
A good week. ****.
Powerless "Cold Season"
Hobbit movies never get bashed enough for my liking. They're good enough. But, dang it! That's not good enough!
I've decided I really like Ron. He's funny.
Toy Invisible Jets are actually invisible. And "Some assembly required" has never seemed more daunting.
Pretty good. ***1/2.
The Powerpuff Girls "The Last Donnycorn"
Donny done goofed. The Chosen One is a synonym for Biggest Screw-Up.
"We are guards. We are guards. This is the guard song. We are guards." That should NOT be an earworm. And yet, IT IS!!!
I love that Gretyl seems to be mentally handicapped, and that the highest honor a person can receive in Unicornland are exquisitely jeweled trucker caps.
Love the design of the robo-unicorn at the beginning. Very toyetic.
So Bubbles is sugar, Buttercup is spice, and Blossom is everything nice. Glad we finally got that straight.
I love that Donny's funniest face is something we are not allowed to see. It's Beetlejuice trying to scare us or IT's true form. It's better left to our imagination.
Pretty good. ***1/2.
The Powerpuff Girls "Bubbs & Donny Get The Mail"
"Another exciting day for the milkman..."
Hilarious! What a great ending! I can't believe this cartoon is only two minutes.
I am freaked out by Bubbles' mission face and similarly alarmed by the Professor's casual look. I don't need to see them ankles.
A gem. *****.
Legion "Chapter 5"
Outside of Rachel Keller's quite nice nude butt, the first half was boring. It's once they get to the nightmarescape that things start cooking.
The visual of Bill Irwin communicating to the group was freaky. I was also getting serious BOB / Madeline Ferguson vibes from the blob man stalking and attacking Syd at the end.
Aubrey Plaza knows how to scare me too. She is quite good at scary faces.
Half good / half boring. ***.
Star Wars Rebels "Secret Cargo"
Here is my review:
After seeing Rogue One, I realize this show is wholly inadequate. And nothing will ever change that fact. **.
Once Upon A Time "Tougher Than The Rest"
Favorable impression.
Eion Bailey makes everything better, even when he's doing a cliched scene like where he doesn't think he can live up to his father. I love his scene with Emma at the end. Frankly, I'm amazed Emma didn't get that was August the whole time. He HAS said he had been looking out for her for a long time.
Robin's death last season was the thing that absolutely ruined it. It was already a wash with Rumple choosing to become the Dark One again, but any goodwill Greg Germann and Hades made me feel was blown up at that moment. Tonight, as Regina is standing in the forest with a lonely look in her eyes, I pled to my TV, "Be Disney. Be Disney." And then the tree explodes, and it's Disney.
They could not have thought of a more clever way to bring him back. I am very happy with this idea.
I actually found Rumple and Belle's conversation interesting because it was the first time at least since season three where I could stand the two of them together. I don't know what to make of that, but that's how I felt. Learning Rumple doesn't want Emma to die is a good thing, no matter how much of a scumbag he otherwise is.
Speaking of scummy Rumple, is it wrong that I laughed when he emptied the bag and Belle's bones fell on the floor? Yeah, Regina didn't REALLY do it. But somebody has to suffer. And Rumple is off to get his flaying supplies.
I liked this episode, which is unusual. Probably due to August and Robin. ****.
Tangled "Before Ever After"
I liked it. The first fifteen minutes were a snooze, but things picked up when Rapunzel snuck out of the kingdom with Cassandra. That scene where she got her hair caught in the bridge was tenser and more exciting than anything in the movie itself.
Did not see the Duchess being Lady Kane coming. But to be fair to my deductive skills, I didn't expect a surprise out of that reveal either because there didn't actually need to be.
I like the animation. I get the appeal of doing 2-D to CGI. Elena of Avalor is CGI and has chintzy looking animation usually. I kind of feel that if Tangled did that, they would too, and it wouldn't hold up in comparison next to the movie. 2-D animation techniques have evolved so much that you can get lush, feature quality animation on a television budget with overseas studios. So even if I would rather the style was consistent, I think it is probably more important that the great animation quality is consistent.
I like that Rapunzel's new hairstyle is referred to as the world's most overly dramatic haircut. Because that's what it is.
The fact that Tangled Ever After seems to be canon (and the fact Rapunzel got her hair back) tells me this is not an open ended series. They are building towards an actual ending to tie the movie and the short together. That's probably a good idea.
Interesting that the show figured out some very real ways to show how being a princess would suck. Aladdin was never good enough to make me believe that. In Aladdin's defense, Jasmine was a spoiled Aristocrat while Rapunzel is an Earthy hippie. I buy Rapunzel, who spent her life as a prisoner, wanting freedom more than a spoiled girl who wanted for nothing. But maybe that's just me.
Promising opener. ****.
Elena Of Avalor "Flight Of The Jaquins"
I loved Elena's defense of Skyler because it was truly diplomatic. Which shows she is already an excellent politician, which is something more Princess projects need to be concerned with. The True Love is not the dealbreaker to a Kingdom having a happy ending. Good leadership is.
I thought the little Jaquins were so cute. I'm not sure if there is an actual logic as to why they are so differently colored, but it sure makes it easy to tell them apart.
I like Skyler ultimately beating Troya because he's a prankster too. And I like Troya negotiating that if King of the Jungle was out, that perhaps he could perhaps be a jester or a dogcatcher. How about the town drunk? I'm sure some village is missing its idiot.
Cute episode. ****.
Power Rangers Ninja Steel "My Friend, Redbot"
Most of the episode was spent by me with my eyes glazed over. Then they got to the end of everybody dancing to cheap unlicensed pop music and I was scowling. 1/2.
The Simpsons "Camp Krustier"
A gem. I was a little annoyed with some of the modern jokes (emails and Dancing With The Stars should not be something that's probably two weeks after the events of a season 4 episode) but I liked everything else.
Kevin Michael Richardson does a good Barry White impression.
I love the idea that sucking his thumb is the only vice Kirk can afford. That's great.
"I can keep a secret but Lisa can't. "I told you that in confidence!" Great joke right there too.
Charlie's an adult. He can swim and vote. And declare so in a whiny voice.
I love that when Bart and Lisa tell Krusty that someone may have died at his camp, his response is, "Haven't you ever heard of "Hello"?" Because it's kind of true. You shouldn't be leaping to that upon seeing a person, no matter the circumstance.
Great sequel to a classic episode that if not quite a classic itself, was still quite excellent. ****1/2.
Grimm "Tree People"
I won't lie. I'm a little concerned.
There are only four episodes of the entire series left after this. No spin-offs are coming, and the series isn't popular enough to warrant a movie, probably not even a direct to video one. So it alarms me the fifth to last episode of presumably the entire franchise is a filler episode.
If Grimm had remained the fairytale procedural it was during the first season, that would be okay. But there are so many worldwide (and now universewide) threats and questions hanging over the series that at this point, they should be building towards it, instead of putting it off. The only reason to put it off is if the ending isn't as spectacular as we were hoping or deserve. Which is why I'm concerned.
Still, I need to concede that it was a GOOD filler episode. I want a cliffhanger every week from now on, but I DID like the ending of Monroe and Rosalee seeing faces in the ceiling.
I almost wish Renard wasn't on the outs with everyone. I'm as fed up with him as the rest of the heroes, but he has resources they simply do not, and if they compared notes about the symbols, they'd all probably get to the answer much quicker.
I think Monroe is overthinking things a bit in his defense of the tree monster. I mean, yeah, we have laws that say you could do pretty much anything to an intruder you want, but I don't agree with those laws, and I am a little bit surprised that nobody else in society seems to agree with me about that. Stand Your Ground is obviously horrible enough. But if as Monroe compared, you caught somebody killing your dog, peeing in your fishtank, and setting your house on fire, I don't think that means it should be legally okay to kill that person after the fact. With the exception of the fire setting thing, even DURING seems like overkill. Monroe is trying to compare what this creature does with what is acceptable in human society. I personally don't think human society has it figured out correctly in this particular ideal. That's my soapbox.
It was a good episode though. I just wish it was a needed one that meant something to the franchise. ****.
Grimm "Blood Magic"
On the plus side, this deals with a fact of Wesen life that should have been clarified ages ago. I'm a little surprised the Deathbringer has never heard of Nick before. He has a reputation for being fair among all the other Wesen of Portland.
On the minus side is the fact that it's the fourth to last episode, and not much is happening with the mythology. Which hints to me the show (and the franchise) will ultimately wind up being MUCH smaller and less epic than the concept and mythology hinted it would be. That bums me out.
Boy, I'm betting Renard is regretting p*ssing off Nick at this point. Nick's offer was more than a fair. MUCH more, in fact. Were I Nick, I would have told Renard to screw himself.
This was good. But it's the fourth to last episode. It SHOULD be amazing. ***1/2.
Sleepy Hollow "Child's Play"
Alex can make fun of Jake all she wants, but a kids obstacle course is a GREAT way to get in shape if you have no budget for a trainer or anything else. Frankly, I'm amazed more genre shows haven't used it. It's much cheaper than buying a gym membership and a personal trainer. It makes sense that not all heroes can afford that.
In real life, beds of nails involve a lot of blood. Cartoons lied to me.
The revised vision tells me that Molly is going to betray the group. Not looking forward to that and hope it can be prevented. But her meeting with Malcolm wasn't the only clue.
First off, did they ever figure out what set off the alarm? Maybe the building thought MOLLY was the actual threat.
The other thing is that last season foolishly played around with the idea that the Witnesses would become destroyers. For Crane and Abbie, that idea is ridiculous. But what if it only pertains to ONE of the Witnesses? Specifically Molly? I think a betrayal by her is coming, which would be a super weird plot turn in a way Katrina's betrayal was not.
Davy's Crockett's hat being Wendigo fur instead of raccoon fur is interesting. But I question how Crane actually knows that. He hasn't been around enough Wendigos to identify the fur by sight, and I'm betting this is the only pelt of theirs he's seen too. Crockett was long after his time, so there is no real reason he should know this bit of history, as cool seeming as it is.
Pygmalian, huh? Now I know the precise reason Emil Hamilton named Power Girl Galatea on JLU.
That tape left behind by the old archivist was both scary and depressing. It's like if the tape from The Ring just told you your horrible future, instead of actually causing it. I am nowhere near as optimistic about Jake and Alex's fate as Jake is. Crane will probably be fine and perhaps so will Molly and Diana. But Alex and Jake seem like EXACTLY the kind of people who would be sacrificed in an end of the world scenario. And it's possible that tape is setting that up.
Pretty good. ****.
Sleepy Hollow "Insatiable"
Fair. I'm glad it looks like the Horseman will have a decent role this season.
Best part was Jobe telling Dreyfuss he killed the poetry. What a lyrical and funny thing to say.
Still, this was a filler week. ***.
Bob's Burgers "A Few 'Gurt Men"
Fantastic. Fairytale trials are pretty much the worst idea ever. I love that the judge knew he did it, but let the trial go on to see if Louise had it in her to figure it out. Such a cool moment.
I like Mort saying the guy seemed awfully smart for being almost naked. Which is true.
What a great episode. *****.
Making History "Pilot"
Ooh, I liked that!
Much more interesting and cool than the promos hinted it would be. No clue why they focused on the chamber pot joke as that was the dumbest thing in the episode.
I question how a man of Dan's generation actually knows how to Do The Bartman.
Promising. ***1/2.
The Last Man On Earth "Got Milk?"
Yeah, I did not like this. Other than the revelation that Pat was not behind the drone, I thought this was too dark and depressing. When the dog ran away, I was a mixture of angry and heartbroken. This show breaks my heart often. That doesn't mean I always like it.
As for the political nature of the episode, it's sort of hinted that the virus was never stopped because the people in the Trump and then Pence Administration were too incompetent to. And I don't care if that's a liberal message, I didn't smile upon each of Trump's cabinet being proclaimed the newest President who died, I scowled. It was upsetting and scary, even if the episode hinted that Trump's Presidency itself was a short one before he probably got impeached. Super depressing and sour to watch.
The fact that Gail is not in the previews worries me. I am very unhappy, and that's been awhile for this show. I dislike that they always take the first episode back from winter to show an unrelated adventure. At least last year, we actually KNEW Mike Miller. Even Kristen Wiig couldn't save this. *.
Family Guy "The Dating Game"
I've never heard of Tinder but after seeing it here, I wondering if it's the greatest thing ever made or the worst thing ever made. I'm leaning worst.
Quagmire's dead twin sentence finishing line at the end shows he is just the worst.
Jennifer's Body doesn't have any nudity? Now I know I can skip it.
Karl is also Archer. The song is the only good thing about Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves.
So-so. **1/2.
Emerald City "No Place Like Home"
That was great. I hope there's another season. Because that was also a mess. I really hope there is another season for this show's sake. I'm less concerned about any burning questions I may have (because that would imply the show interests me more than it does). It's just if this show comes back it can build into a show with a small but loyal following like Fringe, Grimm, and Sleepy Hollow. That would even be true if it came back next year and then was canceled after that. No, what worries me about it getting canceled now is that it will be considered a bad joke in hindsight the way Cop Rock, Family Dog, and The Lone Gunmen were. It will NOT be remembered as a funky show that was canceled too quickly by the network like Police Squad, Firefly and The Tick were. It will be considered a network TV cautionary tale. A dud famous for being a dud. And I for a show as badly remembered as this would be if it's canceled, I kind of think it should be worse. The Lone Gunmen is actually, qualitywise, a good series. But nobody actually sees it that way in hindsight. It's a shorthand for a miserable failure. And that will be this show if NBC doesn't renew it.
I'm glad the Wizard is dead. Partly because he's such a scumbag (he shoots a little girl!) and partly because now Vincent D'Noffrio is free to be in something more worthy of his talents. He might have only signed on because he knew it would only be a one-season gig. But Aman is not the coward of the franchise. The Wizard is.
Two things about Aman's fate: I think the idea that he killed Ozma's family because he feared the Wizard's reprisals shows that he has earned the name "coward" in the way the Lion from the movie and books never did. Being afraid of dogs and such doesn't make him brave or anything, but Oz is a dangerous place, and it's sensible to keep yourself on your toes. Just the fact that Aman's cowardice is a moral failing, rather than a personality one, makes him superior to the Lion from the movie and the books. And he is the only character on this show that is true of.
Thing #2: I think Ozma's punishment of Aman was not wise and just, it was cruel. A just punishment would have been to kill him. An unjust punishment would have been to kill his family. This is an unjust punishment that Ozma can make herself feel good about because nobody died. But it's worse than death. By far.
Besides, what did she care if this dude killed her parents? She never knew them. I get being upset about it, but not THAT upset.
The Beast Forever is the Flying Monkey, right? What else could it be?
I think the episode had an impossible task. Send Dorothy home and yet make her miss Oz. Were I Judy Garland I would never have wanted to return from Oz in the first place. But the Oz on this show is a genuine pit. There is no part of it that doesn't suck. So instead, Dorothy's regret is a combo of missing her mom, and feeling as if she didn't help that land as much as she could have.
Scarecrow in Kansas is going to be fun in the premiere if this show comes back. I want it to be renewed if only for that.
Man, this show is destined to be the smallest of cult favorites, or a huge, embarrassing stain on NBC's reputation. It all depends on what NBC does next. *****.
Colony "Tamam Shud"
Good stuff. Another killer opening too.
I'm optimistic for the first time ever. Because as good as Bob and the Occupation are at their jobs, Will Bowman is better. And I only fully realize that upon seeing him truly working against them for the first time. Katie is an amateur compared to how good Will is at this stuff. And he's so good, he finds his family at the very end of the episode.
Christian Clemenson's character is very interesting to me. In the scenes with All Walker and Tony Plana, he's a timid yesman who doesn't make waves. But as Will's boss we actually get to see his thought processes and how he reaches the decisions he does. We don't tend to get complicated yesmen suits in fiction. This guy is the exception.
Loved that Will stabbed Bob in the stomach with a broken bottle. Will is awesome.
I'm calling it. This is a good series. I'm sure of it for the first time ever. And I'm also finally hopeful that the good guys might actually pull off a win. ****.
Bates Motel "Bad Blood"
I had the opinion Chick could survive. And he could have. If he had truly cared about Norman and was helping him out of altruism. That is definitely part of it, but the fact that he's using this whole mess as a basis for a true crime novel means Norman will kill him. I think Chick is a person who would have been able to manipulate Norman and safely keep him in check had he not been secretly working against him.
It also makes him refusing to free Caleb despicable. I would understand his hesitance if he was trying to look out for the person Norma loved most. He got that about Norma, which is something Caleb never did. But because of the novel, Chick just became complicit in Norman's crimes. And since he is, I don't see how he expects to write a novel with that particular plot, without everything coming out eventually.
I truly believe Chick cares. For the first time ever. But the fact that he is also ultimately using Norman means he is going to die before the season is over and not survive the series. That's probably the only reason his actor was not made a series regular this year, even though he has been as heavily featured as any other character.
Caleb is crazy, but he isn't dangerously crazy. I almost like that his craziness allowed him to be with Norma three times before his death. But every time he came back to reality, it just seemed extra, extra cruel.
As for Romero: That was a stupid move and a move that tells me one thing: He doesn't care what happens to him. His only interest is killing Norman. He has no other agenda, and a life sentence is something he is already anticipating. The fact that Romero is living for nothing, and has nothing to lose, is very scary for either him or Norman. We probably won't find out for who until the end of the series.
Decent. ***1/2.
The Blacklist: Redemption "Independence, U.S.A."
On the one hand that was idiotic. On the other it was entertaining. And it looks like it will set up an interesting plot for later.
Also, I'm really starting to like Mr. Solomon. ***.
Star Wars: Rogue One
Amazing. So is this the new normal? Will we only be getting five star Star Wars films from now on?
Remember when Quentin Taratino complained the Disney acquisition turned the franchise into Disneyfied sh*t without having seen a single movie? Empire and Revenge of the Sith at their absolute darkest never killed off the entire main cast. Since Disney has taken over, Star Wars has gotten gutsier than it has ever been. Han Solo's death was just the tip of the iceberg. Tarantino, as always, has no idea what he's talking about.
I love the Droid K, and was heartbroken when he was killed off. But when he was, I knew we were in for a Wild Bunch ending.
Leia at the end was amazing, and I love that the movie is nonstop action right to the closing scene. And this is pretty much the Darth Vader we've always wanted to see.
I love that they recreated Peter Cushing through CGI for Tarkin. I hope this isn't the last time a major genre franchise does something like this. We could reunite the entire original Star Trek cast this way.
I love that they turned the Death Star design flaw from the original movie from a stupid plot hole, into deliberate sabotage. And it fits seamlessly. I think the biggest clue that George Lucas is a lousy storyteller is that he didn't think up this idea himself. It's pretty freaking obvious.
I was not expecting too much, and was amazed that we got the second best Star Wars film after Force Awakens. No complaints. *****.
Justice League Action "Play Date"
So Teen Titans Go!'s Cyborg likes 80's sitcoms. Justice League Action's Cyborg likes 90's fighting platform videogames.
If you cannot appreciate the genius of Toyman making Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman, and Cyborg disco in synch, you hate America. There, I said it.
Loved all of the different Wonder Woman costumes, and laughed at Batman's "I. Am. Batman!" moments. Either Kevin Conroy had a lot of fun with that, or he wound up super embarrassed. I hope it's the former.
So when do we actually SEE Robin? He was name-dropped twice. I want an appearance now.
Ken Jeong is as precisely funny as Toyman as you'd expect him to be. Second choice for the casting of this version would have been Patton Oswalt.
Fun episode. ****.
Teen Titans Go! "Permanent Record"
Does anybody even still know who Mr. Kotter is? Do people who lived in the 70's and 80's even remember who Mr. Kotter is? Because I don't. What was I talking about?
Beast Boy's explanation about the blue sky thing explained it better than I've ever been able to grasp it as a kid. The reflecting water thing always bothered me because water is actually clear, not blue. So an equally good case could be made that the oceans are blue because they are reflecting the sky. Gasses capturing parts of the rainbow makes much more sense, even if Beast Boy describes it in a cartoon manner.
Love the idea of Starfire teaching to proper grammatical use of the word "the". That is just so the appropriate.
Love Cyborg teaching chemistry in an afro and sideburns.
Raven turning into the sub to blow off the rest of the day was genius. Bet the others wish they thought of that.
Pretty funny. This show isn't always. ****.
Teen Titans Go! "Titan Saving Day"
I think the Titans are running out of holidays to celebrate. Daylight Saving Time is even worse than "It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown."
This was dumb, even for this show. *.
DC Super Hero Girls "Spring Prison Break"
Liked the designs of Lashina and Mad Harriet, not so much Stompa.
The flashback adventure seems to take place before "Hero of the Year", which is when Big Barda reformed (I think). I don't know for sure. It's hard to keep things straight and this sure as heck isn't a continuity I obsess over. ***1/2.
Supergirl "Exodus"
My mixed feelings for that are all over the map. Is it good? Is it bad? What is it trying to say? Why can't I tell?
Every moral in this episode contradicts each other. And it's not simply an opposing viewpoint. I truly think the things the characters tried to prevent their friends from doing were the right ones, and the fact that the character doing the opposite thing worked out is purely random luck.
The whole thing seems to be a slam on the Trump Administration. But is it? I can't really tell. The episode must have been in production awhile, and the Muslim ban and immigration nightmare only started in January. Then again, it's all stuff we knew was gonna happen, so maybe the episode just had foresight. The line about reporters not doing their jobs allowing fascists to get elected President says it IS a Trump slam.
Then I'm like, this CAN'T a slam on Trump. Because it guest stars Dean Cain and Kevin Sorbo, two of Trump's biggest Hollywood supporters (which is admittedly pathetic). But I can't imagine they would have signed up for this if a real-world allegory for their hero was deliberate. To be fair, both Cain and Sorbo seem incredibly thick-witted in every interview I've seen them do, but even if Cain seems like a nice enough guy to do DC a solid even if he disagrees with their politics, Sorbo is not. I do not get it.
The other thing is that all of the wrong characters are right in this episode. J'onn would have been absolutely right to apologize to Alex for impersonating her father... if she passed the test. The fact that she didn't meant that he was right to do it, and owed her no apology. I am gobsmacked that the episode had Alex actually be right and save the day at the end. Because being willing to compromise the ADF for your criminal father are not actions that are done by a righteous person. The fact that Jeremiah seems to repent at the end, and it turns out she was right all along, is the wrong moral, especially after she nearly beat that guy to death.
Similarly, Mon-El telling Kara to pull the trigger on the blog because it was the moral thing to do was the wrong lesson too... for all of the reasons Snapper stated at the end. What I do not get is why she didn't try to fix the Snapper situation herself. She had a solution right in front of her nose: Lena Luthor could have been her second source! And she didn't even ask! It doesn't help that Lena puts the blog idea in her head, but if Snapper is right (and he is) then Kara had a perfect opportunity to work within the rules he set up. And it would have worked. Because as he admitted, he had been rooting for her.
The fact that none of the actors from Lois and Clark or Desperate Housewives appeared together in the same scene is another thing that confuses me. Huge Reunions completely thwarted. And I don't know why.
I have no idea what to make of this episode. **1/2.
The Flash "The Wrath Of Savitar"
Now we know why Wally didn't stop Savitar in the first place. He was in the penalty box. I still think Flash's plan to have Wally stop him is the right one, so next week he should expend all of his time and effort to free him.
I hate predestination / prophecy storytelling, but we'll see what this show can do with it. I'm not hopeful. ***.
DC's Legends Of Tomorrow "Land Of The Lost"
Great episode title. Works on two levels.
Nice to see Amy Pemberton in the flesh! I squeed when Rip kissed her. I love that she remembered it at the end. She is super beautiful.
Speaking of squeeing, watching Amaya do that Jedi mind trick with the T-Rex made me understand exactly how important this woman will be to history, and why Ray's cautions to Nate were correct. I fell in love with her in that moment too. Very cool that the Vixen cartoon is getting mentioned, and is definitely Arrowverse canon.
Interesting that there are no guest stars until the last scene. This was almost a bottle episode in how intimate it was.
My one complaint is that the Firestorm effects look unusually cheap looking. Maybe they blew their wad on the dinosaur, but they are usually better than that.
A good week. ****.
Powerless "Cold Season"
Hobbit movies never get bashed enough for my liking. They're good enough. But, dang it! That's not good enough!
I've decided I really like Ron. He's funny.
Toy Invisible Jets are actually invisible. And "Some assembly required" has never seemed more daunting.
Pretty good. ***1/2.
The Powerpuff Girls "The Last Donnycorn"
Donny done goofed. The Chosen One is a synonym for Biggest Screw-Up.
"We are guards. We are guards. This is the guard song. We are guards." That should NOT be an earworm. And yet, IT IS!!!
I love that Gretyl seems to be mentally handicapped, and that the highest honor a person can receive in Unicornland are exquisitely jeweled trucker caps.
Love the design of the robo-unicorn at the beginning. Very toyetic.
So Bubbles is sugar, Buttercup is spice, and Blossom is everything nice. Glad we finally got that straight.
I love that Donny's funniest face is something we are not allowed to see. It's Beetlejuice trying to scare us or IT's true form. It's better left to our imagination.
Pretty good. ***1/2.
The Powerpuff Girls "Bubbs & Donny Get The Mail"
"Another exciting day for the milkman..."
Hilarious! What a great ending! I can't believe this cartoon is only two minutes.
I am freaked out by Bubbles' mission face and similarly alarmed by the Professor's casual look. I don't need to see them ankles.
A gem. *****.
Legion "Chapter 5"
Outside of Rachel Keller's quite nice nude butt, the first half was boring. It's once they get to the nightmarescape that things start cooking.
The visual of Bill Irwin communicating to the group was freaky. I was also getting serious BOB / Madeline Ferguson vibes from the blob man stalking and attacking Syd at the end.
Aubrey Plaza knows how to scare me too. She is quite good at scary faces.
Half good / half boring. ***.
Star Wars Rebels "Secret Cargo"
Here is my review:
After seeing Rogue One, I realize this show is wholly inadequate. And nothing will ever change that fact. **.
Once Upon A Time "Tougher Than The Rest"
Favorable impression.
Eion Bailey makes everything better, even when he's doing a cliched scene like where he doesn't think he can live up to his father. I love his scene with Emma at the end. Frankly, I'm amazed Emma didn't get that was August the whole time. He HAS said he had been looking out for her for a long time.
Robin's death last season was the thing that absolutely ruined it. It was already a wash with Rumple choosing to become the Dark One again, but any goodwill Greg Germann and Hades made me feel was blown up at that moment. Tonight, as Regina is standing in the forest with a lonely look in her eyes, I pled to my TV, "Be Disney. Be Disney." And then the tree explodes, and it's Disney.
They could not have thought of a more clever way to bring him back. I am very happy with this idea.
I actually found Rumple and Belle's conversation interesting because it was the first time at least since season three where I could stand the two of them together. I don't know what to make of that, but that's how I felt. Learning Rumple doesn't want Emma to die is a good thing, no matter how much of a scumbag he otherwise is.
Speaking of scummy Rumple, is it wrong that I laughed when he emptied the bag and Belle's bones fell on the floor? Yeah, Regina didn't REALLY do it. But somebody has to suffer. And Rumple is off to get his flaying supplies.
I liked this episode, which is unusual. Probably due to August and Robin. ****.
Tangled "Before Ever After"
I liked it. The first fifteen minutes were a snooze, but things picked up when Rapunzel snuck out of the kingdom with Cassandra. That scene where she got her hair caught in the bridge was tenser and more exciting than anything in the movie itself.
Did not see the Duchess being Lady Kane coming. But to be fair to my deductive skills, I didn't expect a surprise out of that reveal either because there didn't actually need to be.
I like the animation. I get the appeal of doing 2-D to CGI. Elena of Avalor is CGI and has chintzy looking animation usually. I kind of feel that if Tangled did that, they would too, and it wouldn't hold up in comparison next to the movie. 2-D animation techniques have evolved so much that you can get lush, feature quality animation on a television budget with overseas studios. So even if I would rather the style was consistent, I think it is probably more important that the great animation quality is consistent.
I like that Rapunzel's new hairstyle is referred to as the world's most overly dramatic haircut. Because that's what it is.
The fact that Tangled Ever After seems to be canon (and the fact Rapunzel got her hair back) tells me this is not an open ended series. They are building towards an actual ending to tie the movie and the short together. That's probably a good idea.
Interesting that the show figured out some very real ways to show how being a princess would suck. Aladdin was never good enough to make me believe that. In Aladdin's defense, Jasmine was a spoiled Aristocrat while Rapunzel is an Earthy hippie. I buy Rapunzel, who spent her life as a prisoner, wanting freedom more than a spoiled girl who wanted for nothing. But maybe that's just me.
Promising opener. ****.
Elena Of Avalor "Flight Of The Jaquins"
I loved Elena's defense of Skyler because it was truly diplomatic. Which shows she is already an excellent politician, which is something more Princess projects need to be concerned with. The True Love is not the dealbreaker to a Kingdom having a happy ending. Good leadership is.
I thought the little Jaquins were so cute. I'm not sure if there is an actual logic as to why they are so differently colored, but it sure makes it easy to tell them apart.
I like Skyler ultimately beating Troya because he's a prankster too. And I like Troya negotiating that if King of the Jungle was out, that perhaps he could perhaps be a jester or a dogcatcher. How about the town drunk? I'm sure some village is missing its idiot.
Cute episode. ****.
Power Rangers Ninja Steel "My Friend, Redbot"
Most of the episode was spent by me with my eyes glazed over. Then they got to the end of everybody dancing to cheap unlicensed pop music and I was scowling. 1/2.
The Simpsons "Camp Krustier"
A gem. I was a little annoyed with some of the modern jokes (emails and Dancing With The Stars should not be something that's probably two weeks after the events of a season 4 episode) but I liked everything else.
Kevin Michael Richardson does a good Barry White impression.
I love the idea that sucking his thumb is the only vice Kirk can afford. That's great.
"I can keep a secret but Lisa can't. "I told you that in confidence!" Great joke right there too.
Charlie's an adult. He can swim and vote. And declare so in a whiny voice.
I love that when Bart and Lisa tell Krusty that someone may have died at his camp, his response is, "Haven't you ever heard of "Hello"?" Because it's kind of true. You shouldn't be leaping to that upon seeing a person, no matter the circumstance.
Great sequel to a classic episode that if not quite a classic itself, was still quite excellent. ****1/2.
Grimm "Tree People"
I won't lie. I'm a little concerned.
There are only four episodes of the entire series left after this. No spin-offs are coming, and the series isn't popular enough to warrant a movie, probably not even a direct to video one. So it alarms me the fifth to last episode of presumably the entire franchise is a filler episode.
If Grimm had remained the fairytale procedural it was during the first season, that would be okay. But there are so many worldwide (and now universewide) threats and questions hanging over the series that at this point, they should be building towards it, instead of putting it off. The only reason to put it off is if the ending isn't as spectacular as we were hoping or deserve. Which is why I'm concerned.
Still, I need to concede that it was a GOOD filler episode. I want a cliffhanger every week from now on, but I DID like the ending of Monroe and Rosalee seeing faces in the ceiling.
I almost wish Renard wasn't on the outs with everyone. I'm as fed up with him as the rest of the heroes, but he has resources they simply do not, and if they compared notes about the symbols, they'd all probably get to the answer much quicker.
I think Monroe is overthinking things a bit in his defense of the tree monster. I mean, yeah, we have laws that say you could do pretty much anything to an intruder you want, but I don't agree with those laws, and I am a little bit surprised that nobody else in society seems to agree with me about that. Stand Your Ground is obviously horrible enough. But if as Monroe compared, you caught somebody killing your dog, peeing in your fishtank, and setting your house on fire, I don't think that means it should be legally okay to kill that person after the fact. With the exception of the fire setting thing, even DURING seems like overkill. Monroe is trying to compare what this creature does with what is acceptable in human society. I personally don't think human society has it figured out correctly in this particular ideal. That's my soapbox.
It was a good episode though. I just wish it was a needed one that meant something to the franchise. ****.
Grimm "Blood Magic"
On the plus side, this deals with a fact of Wesen life that should have been clarified ages ago. I'm a little surprised the Deathbringer has never heard of Nick before. He has a reputation for being fair among all the other Wesen of Portland.
On the minus side is the fact that it's the fourth to last episode, and not much is happening with the mythology. Which hints to me the show (and the franchise) will ultimately wind up being MUCH smaller and less epic than the concept and mythology hinted it would be. That bums me out.
Boy, I'm betting Renard is regretting p*ssing off Nick at this point. Nick's offer was more than a fair. MUCH more, in fact. Were I Nick, I would have told Renard to screw himself.
This was good. But it's the fourth to last episode. It SHOULD be amazing. ***1/2.
Sleepy Hollow "Child's Play"
Alex can make fun of Jake all she wants, but a kids obstacle course is a GREAT way to get in shape if you have no budget for a trainer or anything else. Frankly, I'm amazed more genre shows haven't used it. It's much cheaper than buying a gym membership and a personal trainer. It makes sense that not all heroes can afford that.
In real life, beds of nails involve a lot of blood. Cartoons lied to me.
The revised vision tells me that Molly is going to betray the group. Not looking forward to that and hope it can be prevented. But her meeting with Malcolm wasn't the only clue.
First off, did they ever figure out what set off the alarm? Maybe the building thought MOLLY was the actual threat.
The other thing is that last season foolishly played around with the idea that the Witnesses would become destroyers. For Crane and Abbie, that idea is ridiculous. But what if it only pertains to ONE of the Witnesses? Specifically Molly? I think a betrayal by her is coming, which would be a super weird plot turn in a way Katrina's betrayal was not.
Davy's Crockett's hat being Wendigo fur instead of raccoon fur is interesting. But I question how Crane actually knows that. He hasn't been around enough Wendigos to identify the fur by sight, and I'm betting this is the only pelt of theirs he's seen too. Crockett was long after his time, so there is no real reason he should know this bit of history, as cool seeming as it is.
Pygmalian, huh? Now I know the precise reason Emil Hamilton named Power Girl Galatea on JLU.
That tape left behind by the old archivist was both scary and depressing. It's like if the tape from The Ring just told you your horrible future, instead of actually causing it. I am nowhere near as optimistic about Jake and Alex's fate as Jake is. Crane will probably be fine and perhaps so will Molly and Diana. But Alex and Jake seem like EXACTLY the kind of people who would be sacrificed in an end of the world scenario. And it's possible that tape is setting that up.
Pretty good. ****.
Sleepy Hollow "Insatiable"
Fair. I'm glad it looks like the Horseman will have a decent role this season.
Best part was Jobe telling Dreyfuss he killed the poetry. What a lyrical and funny thing to say.
Still, this was a filler week. ***.
Bob's Burgers "A Few 'Gurt Men"
Fantastic. Fairytale trials are pretty much the worst idea ever. I love that the judge knew he did it, but let the trial go on to see if Louise had it in her to figure it out. Such a cool moment.
I like Mort saying the guy seemed awfully smart for being almost naked. Which is true.
What a great episode. *****.
Making History "Pilot"
Ooh, I liked that!
Much more interesting and cool than the promos hinted it would be. No clue why they focused on the chamber pot joke as that was the dumbest thing in the episode.
I question how a man of Dan's generation actually knows how to Do The Bartman.
Promising. ***1/2.
The Last Man On Earth "Got Milk?"
Yeah, I did not like this. Other than the revelation that Pat was not behind the drone, I thought this was too dark and depressing. When the dog ran away, I was a mixture of angry and heartbroken. This show breaks my heart often. That doesn't mean I always like it.
As for the political nature of the episode, it's sort of hinted that the virus was never stopped because the people in the Trump and then Pence Administration were too incompetent to. And I don't care if that's a liberal message, I didn't smile upon each of Trump's cabinet being proclaimed the newest President who died, I scowled. It was upsetting and scary, even if the episode hinted that Trump's Presidency itself was a short one before he probably got impeached. Super depressing and sour to watch.
The fact that Gail is not in the previews worries me. I am very unhappy, and that's been awhile for this show. I dislike that they always take the first episode back from winter to show an unrelated adventure. At least last year, we actually KNEW Mike Miller. Even Kristen Wiig couldn't save this. *.
Family Guy "The Dating Game"
I've never heard of Tinder but after seeing it here, I wondering if it's the greatest thing ever made or the worst thing ever made. I'm leaning worst.
Quagmire's dead twin sentence finishing line at the end shows he is just the worst.
Jennifer's Body doesn't have any nudity? Now I know I can skip it.
Karl is also Archer. The song is the only good thing about Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves.
So-so. **1/2.
Emerald City "No Place Like Home"
That was great. I hope there's another season. Because that was also a mess. I really hope there is another season for this show's sake. I'm less concerned about any burning questions I may have (because that would imply the show interests me more than it does). It's just if this show comes back it can build into a show with a small but loyal following like Fringe, Grimm, and Sleepy Hollow. That would even be true if it came back next year and then was canceled after that. No, what worries me about it getting canceled now is that it will be considered a bad joke in hindsight the way Cop Rock, Family Dog, and The Lone Gunmen were. It will NOT be remembered as a funky show that was canceled too quickly by the network like Police Squad, Firefly and The Tick were. It will be considered a network TV cautionary tale. A dud famous for being a dud. And I for a show as badly remembered as this would be if it's canceled, I kind of think it should be worse. The Lone Gunmen is actually, qualitywise, a good series. But nobody actually sees it that way in hindsight. It's a shorthand for a miserable failure. And that will be this show if NBC doesn't renew it.
I'm glad the Wizard is dead. Partly because he's such a scumbag (he shoots a little girl!) and partly because now Vincent D'Noffrio is free to be in something more worthy of his talents. He might have only signed on because he knew it would only be a one-season gig. But Aman is not the coward of the franchise. The Wizard is.
Two things about Aman's fate: I think the idea that he killed Ozma's family because he feared the Wizard's reprisals shows that he has earned the name "coward" in the way the Lion from the movie and books never did. Being afraid of dogs and such doesn't make him brave or anything, but Oz is a dangerous place, and it's sensible to keep yourself on your toes. Just the fact that Aman's cowardice is a moral failing, rather than a personality one, makes him superior to the Lion from the movie and the books. And he is the only character on this show that is true of.
Thing #2: I think Ozma's punishment of Aman was not wise and just, it was cruel. A just punishment would have been to kill him. An unjust punishment would have been to kill his family. This is an unjust punishment that Ozma can make herself feel good about because nobody died. But it's worse than death. By far.
Besides, what did she care if this dude killed her parents? She never knew them. I get being upset about it, but not THAT upset.
The Beast Forever is the Flying Monkey, right? What else could it be?
I think the episode had an impossible task. Send Dorothy home and yet make her miss Oz. Were I Judy Garland I would never have wanted to return from Oz in the first place. But the Oz on this show is a genuine pit. There is no part of it that doesn't suck. So instead, Dorothy's regret is a combo of missing her mom, and feeling as if she didn't help that land as much as she could have.
Scarecrow in Kansas is going to be fun in the premiere if this show comes back. I want it to be renewed if only for that.
Man, this show is destined to be the smallest of cult favorites, or a huge, embarrassing stain on NBC's reputation. It all depends on what NBC does next. *****.
Colony "Tamam Shud"
Good stuff. Another killer opening too.
I'm optimistic for the first time ever. Because as good as Bob and the Occupation are at their jobs, Will Bowman is better. And I only fully realize that upon seeing him truly working against them for the first time. Katie is an amateur compared to how good Will is at this stuff. And he's so good, he finds his family at the very end of the episode.
Christian Clemenson's character is very interesting to me. In the scenes with All Walker and Tony Plana, he's a timid yesman who doesn't make waves. But as Will's boss we actually get to see his thought processes and how he reaches the decisions he does. We don't tend to get complicated yesmen suits in fiction. This guy is the exception.
Loved that Will stabbed Bob in the stomach with a broken bottle. Will is awesome.
I'm calling it. This is a good series. I'm sure of it for the first time ever. And I'm also finally hopeful that the good guys might actually pull off a win. ****.
Bates Motel "Bad Blood"
I had the opinion Chick could survive. And he could have. If he had truly cared about Norman and was helping him out of altruism. That is definitely part of it, but the fact that he's using this whole mess as a basis for a true crime novel means Norman will kill him. I think Chick is a person who would have been able to manipulate Norman and safely keep him in check had he not been secretly working against him.
It also makes him refusing to free Caleb despicable. I would understand his hesitance if he was trying to look out for the person Norma loved most. He got that about Norma, which is something Caleb never did. But because of the novel, Chick just became complicit in Norman's crimes. And since he is, I don't see how he expects to write a novel with that particular plot, without everything coming out eventually.
I truly believe Chick cares. For the first time ever. But the fact that he is also ultimately using Norman means he is going to die before the season is over and not survive the series. That's probably the only reason his actor was not made a series regular this year, even though he has been as heavily featured as any other character.
Caleb is crazy, but he isn't dangerously crazy. I almost like that his craziness allowed him to be with Norma three times before his death. But every time he came back to reality, it just seemed extra, extra cruel.
As for Romero: That was a stupid move and a move that tells me one thing: He doesn't care what happens to him. His only interest is killing Norman. He has no other agenda, and a life sentence is something he is already anticipating. The fact that Romero is living for nothing, and has nothing to lose, is very scary for either him or Norman. We probably won't find out for who until the end of the series.
Decent. ***1/2.
The Blacklist: Redemption "Independence, U.S.A."
On the one hand that was idiotic. On the other it was entertaining. And it looks like it will set up an interesting plot for later.
Also, I'm really starting to like Mr. Solomon. ***.