Gotham "Mad City: Better To Reign In Hell" Review (Spoilers)
Also reviews for the season premiere of Lucifer, the latest episodes of The Powerpuff Girls, the season premiere of Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D., the latest episodes of Ultimate Spider-Man Vs. The Sinister 6, Avengers: Ultron Revolution, Elena Of Avalor, The Lion Guard, Girl Meets World, and Power Rangers Dino Super Charge, the season premiere of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, the series premieres of The Good Place, Son Of Zorn, and Van Helsing, and the season premieres of Scream Queen, The Blacklist, and Blindspot.
Gotham "Mad City: Better To Reign In Hell"
Mostly good, but I want to get the nitpick out of the way right off the bat. Barnes was right to be furious at Gordon. That was a stupid plan, even for him. And Peabody wound up dead for it. I do NOT blame Harvey basically telling Jim to get lost after that.
Frankly, I'm surprised Barnes survived last season. I fully expected there to be a new captain this year.
I see how they are getting rid of Clare Foley and I still think its a mistake. The kid is dynamite.
Penguin and Riddler together will never get old.
I like the idea that Tabitha is only alive because Butch wishes it. Do you know who else had similar power in Gotham? Don Falcone. I am a little bit surprised that Butch is siding with Penguin over Fish, but I don't expect that to last if they meet face to face. I think Butch and Fish are the unsung love story of the series and I think Tabitha is messing with his head too much.
I liked Penguin being exasperated the scheme is Butch's. But he's not really mad, which is endearing. He's frustrated, but at least he gets why he did it, and is willing to clean up the mess. I think Penguin is probably a better friend to Butch than he realizes.
Yeah, Barbara's still evil and crazy.
Casting news: Morena Baccarin is still a series regular (as is Chris Chalk) but the guy who plays Harvey Dent isn't anymore. Jada Pankett-Smith is a special guest star. Michael Chiklis has lost status in the cast. The title credits used to list his credit as "And Michael Chiklis" to show he's a big deal. Now with no explanation, he's simply the last guy listed. Cold. Dude needs to negotiate his contract better.
Bruce's clone intrigues me. Can't wait to see where they're going with that next week.
Bring on Hugo Strange! ****1/2.
Lucifer "Everything's Coming Up Lucifer"
Lucifer's mom is Tricia Helfer? Cool!
The rest of the episode was only passable. I didn't like the stunt Amendeil played on Chloe, but I did kind of like that Chloe thought he was jiving a bit.
But this was not a great premiere. ***.
The Powerpuff Girls "Fashion Forward"
The Professor is totally a milkman.
I liked him saving the day with good parenting. "Stay in the car, girls." Funny. ***1/2.
The Powerpuff Girls "The Big Sleep"
Ridiculous premise for the episode but it had some good jokes. Like the idea that Bubbles keeps a closet full of cats. Or that Blossom says "Clever pillow" in a nod to Jurassic Park. Or Buttercup thinking she's actually funny with her "casing the joint" pun. Or Blossom as Bedtime Negotiator and notary. But the whole idea (and the nonsensical ending) wasn't great. **1/2.
The Powerpuff Girls "The Secret Life Of Blossom Powerpuff"
I'll admit, the fact that Blossom ultimately joined a sci-fi writer's club made me smile, but this episode wasn't simply more boring than normal. By the time they got to the dance off it was stupider. **1/2.
Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. "The Ghost"
You know, looking back on the first three seasons, introducing a legit B list superhero seems obvious. I mean REALLY obvious. I personally would have loved it if Agents of SHIELD had simply been the super fun spy-fi show the premise promised. It could have been the next Alias. But once they decided to focus on superpowers they should have gone to B list heroes not being used elsewhere immediately. The Zeppo idea never worked. I have a feeling this season will be better than average.
Goofy acronyms are back! Embrace the cheese!
Love that Daisy can use her Quake powers to fly.
I like that the robot considers herself a shield.
Simmons is totally hot when she gives orders.
Cool fight between Quake and Ghost Rider. I miss the motorcycle though.
"I finished school in the 11th grade" is a VERY smart way to say you never finished. I'll have to remember that.
I predict this season will be better than average. ****1/2.
Ultimate Spider-Man "Return To The Spider-Verse: Part Four"
I really liked it.
Wait, Chibi Spidey has his own universe? Maybe Peter isn't nuts, but clairvoyant.
Is Spider-Gwen called Spider-Woman in the comics? Because I thought that was somebody else.
Cool that Miles and his mom are coming to our universe for good. Might as well with their apartment destroyed, and Miles' cover probably blown.
Wolf Spider being Peter Parker was more underwhelming than the writers probably hoped. It's a multiverse. Of COURSE it includes an evil Peter. I'm just surprised there's only one.
Great episode. ****1/2. Four Part Average: ****1/2.
Marvel's Avengers: Ultron Revolution "Captain Marvel"
Wow, Captain Marvel is really, really annoying.
Figures we never found out what went down in Helsinki. The one time Hawkeye seems remotely interesting and they leave us hanging.
"Nobody appreciates my talents," is a great Hulk line. The fact that only the Hulk from the cartoons would say it is what makes it great.
But this mostly sucked. **1/2.
Elena Of Avalor "Prince Too Charming"
This episode was obvious, badly written and predictable. And yet, it totally works. Why? The delightful decision to make the giant ridiculously polite, pleasant, and friendly was VERY effective. Kids are pretty self-involved, and maybe because Elena is being so polite, they might not instantly recognize the prince as a scumbag. Estabon's a bit of a scumbag too, but he has redeeming qualities, and Elena actually cares about him and vice versa. But by having the giant be so outwardly reasonable, it put into sharp focus exactly how terrible a ruler the prince was.
All that said, there is a VERY dark subtext to me that this kingdom will fall apart when that idiot inherits the throne. He didn't learn his lesson, and is still a butthole. It's very possible he is going to be a G-rated version of King Joffrey someday. Perhaps like Frollo in The Hunchback Of Notre Dame. And even though Frollo is technically G-rated, you do NOT want that. At all. He's about scary as Hannibal Lecter to me. And would probably wind up doing just as much damage.
So while the episode had a "happy ending", I kind of feel like a REALLY bad one is going to happen decades from now. ***1/2.
Elena Of Avalor "Finders Leapers"
Love the episode.
I love that the Professor is wearing modern garb. It stands to reason with the Kingdom multiverse set up by Sofia The First, that different Kingdoms have different levels of technological and scientific advances. It is entirely possible a Kingdom out there already invented cargo pants.
When Estabon sneered at Naomi that she "wasn't one of us" I was shocked, in a very good way. Was Estabon just demonstrating racism? What I love about it is that it isn't a show trying to say that reverse racism is an actual thing for people to watch out. It's more insidious than that. The fact is, Naomi IS a minority in this Kingdom, and the power structure is not held by people with blonde hair and blue eyes. The show is making a statement about racism without ever trying to pretend that reverse racism is a real problem in our world.
I especially love that Estabon claims that all of the disasters that he was responsible for were Naomi's fault because she was in charge. As galling as that idea is, I love it because it's true! She never should have let Estabon roll over her the way she did all throughout the episode. And then the show did something absolutely awesomely unbelievable. That's the actual lesson! The actual moral is to stand up for yourself and take responsibility when things go badly when you don't. Totally refreshing. I especially love that after that moment Estabon becomes humbler and more willing to give Naomi the benefit of the doubt. I love that Estabon is not an actual villain. He isn't evil, he's misguided. At worse he's Brainy Smurf. But he's still actually on the heroes' side.
I think I'm going to enjoy this show more than I thought I would. This episode proves it. *****.
The Lion Guard "Baboons"
I just realized something cool: Fuli has an amazing character design. Maybe it's because I'm drawing more myself now, but I really admire how expressive her face is, and how striking her colors are.
Answer me this, Lion Guard. Why Is Fuli wanting to hunt the vultures more virtuous than the vultures wanting to hunt the baby baboon? What exactly is the distinction there? The fact that the show doesn't seem to know that there isn't one is its biggest problem.
I liked seeing Kiara problem solve and help save the day for once. Because of The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride, Kiara's role should NEVER be that of a damsel in distress, but the series seemed to have frustratingly forgotten that until this episode. Kiara should be clever and useful in her own right. My only gripe is that it would have been even better if she had gotten out of that fix entirely by herself. I realize the Lion Guard IS the show, but I also don't think they need to fix every single problem every single episode.
Pretty good if you don't think too hard on the logic of it. ***1/2.
Girl Meets World "Girl Meets The Gray Lady Of New York"
I hate The Disney Channel. It's not like this episode was ever going to be great. But the fact that Zay says his ancestors were "brought over" from Ghana means I really resent that the show isn't allowed to actually say that slavery existed. Similarly, Farkle's ancestor "not making it" in "World War II" because they were Jewish, is kind of downplaying the severity of the situation. His ancestors were murdered in the Holocaust. If wee can't actually teach kids what that means, they should probably explore a "safer" topic. Same goes for the woman escaping Cambodia.
And make no mistake. I think it is b.s. that Disney Channel wouldn't let them explore this. I don't blame the show. I blame a level of superficial corporate marketing that refuses to make kids (or racist parents) feel the least bit uncomfortable about any troubling topic. Disney Channel probably wouldn't feel the need to use such kid gloves on such serious topics if the higher ups weren't so gutless, and the conservative "concerned" parents weren't so noisy. I really think this show, as dumb as it is, is actually a bad fit for The Disney Channel.
I liked Zay telling Farkle he could talk to him about it, and Farkle telling him the same thing. It was an acknowledgment between these two kids that they often have to sanitize their pasts and history so as not to upset their goofy white friends. It seemed to me a shared experience of living inside of a group of friends completely blinded by white privilege. If I were Zay, I have to say, I would probably be eaten alive day by day by Riley's self-involved and deplorable personality. If Zay behaved a tenth as badly as Riley did, he'd be shot by the police. That's a fact. The cookie thing (which was referenced here) is perhaps the tip of the iceberg of Zay's possible resentments.
Any fun things? I like that Auggie's "foot massaging equipment" is oven mitts. That's an Al Bundy joke. And since the show is based on ANOTHER sitcom from the 90's, that seems quite appropriate to me.
But the network that airs this show is gutless. ***.
Girl Meets World "Girl Meets She Don't Like Me"
You know, this would have been a really good episode except for that ending over the credits. I cannot believe how awful that was. If I was being honest when I graded the episode I'd give it one star due to that.
What I'll do instead is ignore it and focus on the rest of the episode.
First off, somebody hating Riley when they first meet her is the correct reaction. I've spent a good deal of time with her and I still hate her. I cannot imagine what a challenge is must be to meet a person like that.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer gave us a hint. Remember Buffy's college roommate Cathy? The one with the Celine Dion poster? That's Riley. Except instead of making her the villain, the show actually centers an entire series around her. Noisy obnoxious neighbors are one of the sitcom's most trusted tropes, and make the genre's best villains. I am truly amazed they simply made Riley Matthews one of those horrible, in-your-face, tacky people and expect us to love her for it.
I don't like the Health teacher as much as the rest of the kids did by the end of the episode. Because he taught them life lessons, not health. And sex talk is what the class is for. Granted on a G rated show they can't show that, but the series had a great idea to bleep Smackle's monologue. Maybe that wouldn't have worked for this teacher. But he actually taught them nothing about the subject.
I laughed and was amazed when Cory was the new teacher. It's genius, obvious, and a pleasant shock that I didn't see it coming. What is wrong with me? Have I never seen a sitcom before?
I like that Auggie thinks his middle name is Doggie but seriously, where did he get that specific reference? Frankly, I'm betting even Cory and Topanga are too young to get it. I like that his teacher's name is Mrs. Pigsniffer and he gives every a withering look upon their expressions at hearing it: "It has been remarked." That is the voice of someone resenting telling an old joke.
I think the biggest reason I hated the ending was because it bought back Riley's solution. I fully expected to hate this episode based on the episode preview, and that the episode would spend time either saying that that girl was wrong, and she's a bad person and a bully. Or else she would come around. They came close to the second solution, but I think they tweaked it enough to make it work. I love that they didn't invalidate the girl's feelings. Because I shared them, and I didn't want the lesson to be that I'm crazy for hating obnoxious people. Instead Riley tells her she likes her, and sort of gives the message that the only thing you can control is yourself actual meaning. Which was hideously ruined by the mean-spirited ending. ***** if the episode had ended 30 seconds earlier. **** for what we got.
Power Ranger Dino Super Charge "Recipe For Disaster"
Lemme stop you right there, Power Rangers. When restaurant critics visit, are exploding cakes really a concern? Because I've never seen Gordon Ramsey deal with that.
Also Ryan Carter is amazing. **.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine "Coral Palms: Part 1"
I loved Jake trying (and failing) to say that his favorite movie was Failure To Launch. Part of me thinks Maya Rudolph was trying to torture him by picking that particular movie.
Andre Braugher in a corndog costume is comedy gold.
I laughed at Jake eating the burrito that fell in the hot tub and him screaming as he got rid of the snakes. Funny stuff.
I really hope Holt's tattoo is of Jake riding a dragon. Because he'll never speak of it again.
SO glad this show is back. It's the best comedy on network television. *****.
The Good Place "Pilot" / "Flying"
I love the idea of this show. I think it is amazing to open up philosophical debates about death and the afterlife. So that means I am ready to have that debate.
The Good Place sucks.
The Good Place is unfair. The Good Place is unjust. Basically what this two-part pilot told me is that 999,999 out of a million are damned with eternal torture because they do not manage to live up to some idealized version of what being a good person is. Eleanor is completely unpleasant and mean. But do you know what else she is? Innocent. She's committed no real crimes, and yet the universe of this TV show would have her be eternally tortured because she's a self-involved person.
I will straight up say that a universe that starts to completely fall apart when every single thing in it isn't perfect, it a universe that is fundamentally flawed. A universe where the Heaven guide tells the "good" people there to "not worry about" the Bad Place and just ignore the unjust suffering of hundreds of billions of innocent people so they can learn to fly is messed up. I really hope this is the larger moral of the series. I'm not sure because it is super early, but I would like it if Eleanor is not the bad guy in the series. I would love it if Michael is. Because by all justifiable measures he's worse than Eleanor. Just the fact that he is complicit in the suffering and torture of innocent people means Eleanor's hands are cleaner than his are. The whole theme of the show in the Pilot is that Eleanor doesn't belong here. I think she might be the only person who does. Because she gets the severity of eternal damnation more than every single person who has a detached view of the riffraff less fortunate than they are. Help people during your time on Earth? Your reward is to ignore suffering for the rest of eternity. How messed up is that?
I think the opening scene of the series was one of the best first shots and first scenes I've seen in awhile. We should have immediately guessed something was up with Eleanor because she accepts what she is told far too easily. This is not a person who left loved ones behind with the realization that she will probably never see them again because they went to the Bad Place. The fact that Michael doesn't immediately guess this is the first hint that he is really bad at his job. And it is a terrible job.
Fascinating series. ****.
The Good Place "Tahani Al-Jamil"
Something tells me this series might go the way I want it to. Serious Heaven reforms may be coming. Just the fact that Michael is so awful to Chiti without even realizing it means that the writers may agree with me that he's a bad guy. I hope I'm right. The Jason reveal is another hint that Heaven is not all it is cracked up to be. ****.
Son Of Zorn "Welcome To Orange County"
That was awesome. I loved the Death Hawk and how Zorn killed it when his ex-wife wouldn't let him give it to his son. I also loved the reveal at the end that Alan had cartoon legs. What a great idea. Sort of like Ralph Bakshi's Cool World done right.
I was a little alarmed the mother admitted in front of her son that she was coked out of her mind at one point. Zorn is not the only terrible parent on the show.
The special effects were amazing and it is so cool that something like this can now be done on a TV budget. The blend of live action and animation was almost as good as Roger Rabbit and definitely better than Cool World.
I already love this show. *****.
Van Helsing "Help Me"
Really awkward product placements for Subway and KitKat. A post-apocalypse series means you shouldn't ever product place. The show should have embraced that. The fact that it's the second scene is disturbing.
That guy keeping that vampire in the lab is a really bad idea. Even I can see how that can go wrong. To his credit, he's somehow made it work for six freaking months. I loved the deaf guy scaring her.
Early guess: Dylan is not dead. If Abraham's blood makes Vanessa special, she probably passed that onto her daughter.
Tim Guinee: Dead guy Pilot fodder since Revolution.
Cool ending too! Good first episode outside of the product placement. ****.
Van Helsing "Seen You"
Interesting to get the full origin in only the second episode.
That singing vampire was creepy.
I like that Dylan is an insightful enough person to notice the purse. Another clue she is not dead.
I kind of love how belligerent the doctor is to the army people, until you quickly realize she is not taking the situation seriously enough. And that happens so quickly it's kind of amazing.
I like the perplexed look the guy gives when the Doc vamps. Seriously. This entire situation is outright WEIRD and I love that they had him play it as that.
The second episode answered all of the questions from the first. This is the first time in TV history I've like a second episode more than the Pilot. I cannot think of any other examples off the top of my head. *****.
Scream Queens "Scream Again"
Wow, I really forgot how much I hated Chanel. I think the worst thing about this show is that it is constantly trying to get me to believe that Abigail Breslin is unattractive. This show's whole shtick regarding Chanel #5's supposed ugliness is "Who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?"
Normally, I'd hate a character like Kirstie Alley's. She is absolutely horrible. But she is horrible to the correct people. So I like her instead.
This season feels very much like a murder mystery. Last season was too, but that engaged in more horror tropes. Maybe that was because this was the first show back, but I kind of got the feeling they were leaving more clues here than they did in last season's premiere.
How does Hester not know what double jeopardy is? Frankly, I'm glad she was caught. That was the least satisfying thing about season one. The least satisfying thing about season two so far is not explaining how Chanel survived her season ending encounter with the Red Devil. But we got Denise again, so bonus props for that.
I cannot believe the kid who played Chad doesn't seem to be a regular this year, and wasn't in this episode at all. That's weird, because he was the most talented and funny player in season one. You'd think the producers would do everything in their power to keep him locked down. But nobody ever accused the producers of this show of being smart. Chanel wasn't last season's break-out character, and even Denise and Hester weren't. It was Chad. Totally.
Worst Chanel moment was telling the patient after she felt beautiful for the first time in her life, to dial it back and that she's a Jersey 6 at best. At first, I kind of thought the makeover idea was awesome. But it led to that, which made me realize Chanel doesn't actually possess any redeeming qualities, and I was ridiculous for ever hoping she might.
Zayday's reaction to seeing the Chanels was the proper one, so I'm a little dismayed she completely bought it back. It would have been funnier if she had meant it.
Normally I'd complain this premiere wasn't all that hot, but the truth is neither was season one. This was about average compared to that. ***.
The Blacklist "Esteban"
So, what? Now half a season of chasing after Liz? I thought last season's finale was the breaking point for the series, and I was absolutely right. The fake-out death of Liz serves the exact same purpose as Liz being wanted for murder, and now being kidnapped by a crazy person does. It allows the show to spin its wheels without ever having to address the unanswered questions about Liz and Red. The messed up thing is that during these arcs they try so hard to convince the audience we are STILL learning new stuff, but we're not. Ever since the season two finale, the show has been in a nonstop tailspin and this is a sharkjump it will not recover from. Frankly, I don't even think it WANTS to recover at this point. If they actually DID want to tell their actual story, they would. It's not so hard. And as J.J. Abrams proved on Alias, sometimes the fall-out from the truth is just as interesting as the truth itself. The show doesn't have to end by answering questions about Liz and Red. And if it does, it means the show was never sustainable and the writers were never talented.
On the other hand, David Zayas was great casting. He does a Cuban accent as good as an Italian one on Gotham.
But I was sickened by last year's finale and the premiere is a similar level of disgust for me. *.
Blindspot "In Night So Ransomed Rogue"
Here's a question: Why SHOULD I forgive Jane for last season? What good has she done that I as an audience member can look past the fact that she was an accessory to Mayfair's murder? If she wasn't, she would have immediately owned up to it. I don't like that the show doesn't point that out and pretends that she helped Oscar under duress (she did not). I really don't need the producers to whitewash the character's actions when I saw her behave so deplorably with my own eyes.
The show is trying to get me to think it's possible that Patterson is the potential mole? It is to laugh.
I kind of thought at the end of the season when they blew up the show they way they did, that perhaps there was no going back for Jane. I still think that. **1/2.
Blindspot "Heavy Fiery Knot"
I loved Naz telling Jane she DOES know what it's like to be looked at with suspicion and fear. I love that moment because it shows that every single white person benefits from white privilege, whether they were raised as racists, or don't remember enough about themselves to even BE racist. The fact that Jane can say something like that to a Pakistani woman without being aware of what is actually going on is another reason I dislike Jane.
I love that Weller hates working with Jane and can't stand to be in the same room as her. I love that she heard that. I kind of regret that he later bought it back by saying he didn't actually hate her. Because by all rights he should.
Did Ashley Johnson get implants, or did she have a baby? Maybe it's because she was wearing a sweater instead of a labcoat but I don't recall her being so top-heavy in any of the Joss Whedon projects I saw her in previously.
Pretty good. ***.
Gotham "Mad City: Better To Reign In Hell"
Mostly good, but I want to get the nitpick out of the way right off the bat. Barnes was right to be furious at Gordon. That was a stupid plan, even for him. And Peabody wound up dead for it. I do NOT blame Harvey basically telling Jim to get lost after that.
Frankly, I'm surprised Barnes survived last season. I fully expected there to be a new captain this year.
I see how they are getting rid of Clare Foley and I still think its a mistake. The kid is dynamite.
Penguin and Riddler together will never get old.
I like the idea that Tabitha is only alive because Butch wishes it. Do you know who else had similar power in Gotham? Don Falcone. I am a little bit surprised that Butch is siding with Penguin over Fish, but I don't expect that to last if they meet face to face. I think Butch and Fish are the unsung love story of the series and I think Tabitha is messing with his head too much.
I liked Penguin being exasperated the scheme is Butch's. But he's not really mad, which is endearing. He's frustrated, but at least he gets why he did it, and is willing to clean up the mess. I think Penguin is probably a better friend to Butch than he realizes.
Yeah, Barbara's still evil and crazy.
Casting news: Morena Baccarin is still a series regular (as is Chris Chalk) but the guy who plays Harvey Dent isn't anymore. Jada Pankett-Smith is a special guest star. Michael Chiklis has lost status in the cast. The title credits used to list his credit as "And Michael Chiklis" to show he's a big deal. Now with no explanation, he's simply the last guy listed. Cold. Dude needs to negotiate his contract better.
Bruce's clone intrigues me. Can't wait to see where they're going with that next week.
Bring on Hugo Strange! ****1/2.
Lucifer "Everything's Coming Up Lucifer"
Lucifer's mom is Tricia Helfer? Cool!
The rest of the episode was only passable. I didn't like the stunt Amendeil played on Chloe, but I did kind of like that Chloe thought he was jiving a bit.
But this was not a great premiere. ***.
The Powerpuff Girls "Fashion Forward"
The Professor is totally a milkman.
I liked him saving the day with good parenting. "Stay in the car, girls." Funny. ***1/2.
The Powerpuff Girls "The Big Sleep"
Ridiculous premise for the episode but it had some good jokes. Like the idea that Bubbles keeps a closet full of cats. Or that Blossom says "Clever pillow" in a nod to Jurassic Park. Or Buttercup thinking she's actually funny with her "casing the joint" pun. Or Blossom as Bedtime Negotiator and notary. But the whole idea (and the nonsensical ending) wasn't great. **1/2.
The Powerpuff Girls "The Secret Life Of Blossom Powerpuff"
I'll admit, the fact that Blossom ultimately joined a sci-fi writer's club made me smile, but this episode wasn't simply more boring than normal. By the time they got to the dance off it was stupider. **1/2.
Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. "The Ghost"
You know, looking back on the first three seasons, introducing a legit B list superhero seems obvious. I mean REALLY obvious. I personally would have loved it if Agents of SHIELD had simply been the super fun spy-fi show the premise promised. It could have been the next Alias. But once they decided to focus on superpowers they should have gone to B list heroes not being used elsewhere immediately. The Zeppo idea never worked. I have a feeling this season will be better than average.
Goofy acronyms are back! Embrace the cheese!
Love that Daisy can use her Quake powers to fly.
I like that the robot considers herself a shield.
Simmons is totally hot when she gives orders.
Cool fight between Quake and Ghost Rider. I miss the motorcycle though.
"I finished school in the 11th grade" is a VERY smart way to say you never finished. I'll have to remember that.
I predict this season will be better than average. ****1/2.
Ultimate Spider-Man "Return To The Spider-Verse: Part Four"
I really liked it.
Wait, Chibi Spidey has his own universe? Maybe Peter isn't nuts, but clairvoyant.
Is Spider-Gwen called Spider-Woman in the comics? Because I thought that was somebody else.
Cool that Miles and his mom are coming to our universe for good. Might as well with their apartment destroyed, and Miles' cover probably blown.
Wolf Spider being Peter Parker was more underwhelming than the writers probably hoped. It's a multiverse. Of COURSE it includes an evil Peter. I'm just surprised there's only one.
Great episode. ****1/2. Four Part Average: ****1/2.
Marvel's Avengers: Ultron Revolution "Captain Marvel"
Wow, Captain Marvel is really, really annoying.
Figures we never found out what went down in Helsinki. The one time Hawkeye seems remotely interesting and they leave us hanging.
"Nobody appreciates my talents," is a great Hulk line. The fact that only the Hulk from the cartoons would say it is what makes it great.
But this mostly sucked. **1/2.
Elena Of Avalor "Prince Too Charming"
This episode was obvious, badly written and predictable. And yet, it totally works. Why? The delightful decision to make the giant ridiculously polite, pleasant, and friendly was VERY effective. Kids are pretty self-involved, and maybe because Elena is being so polite, they might not instantly recognize the prince as a scumbag. Estabon's a bit of a scumbag too, but he has redeeming qualities, and Elena actually cares about him and vice versa. But by having the giant be so outwardly reasonable, it put into sharp focus exactly how terrible a ruler the prince was.
All that said, there is a VERY dark subtext to me that this kingdom will fall apart when that idiot inherits the throne. He didn't learn his lesson, and is still a butthole. It's very possible he is going to be a G-rated version of King Joffrey someday. Perhaps like Frollo in The Hunchback Of Notre Dame. And even though Frollo is technically G-rated, you do NOT want that. At all. He's about scary as Hannibal Lecter to me. And would probably wind up doing just as much damage.
So while the episode had a "happy ending", I kind of feel like a REALLY bad one is going to happen decades from now. ***1/2.
Elena Of Avalor "Finders Leapers"
Love the episode.
I love that the Professor is wearing modern garb. It stands to reason with the Kingdom multiverse set up by Sofia The First, that different Kingdoms have different levels of technological and scientific advances. It is entirely possible a Kingdom out there already invented cargo pants.
When Estabon sneered at Naomi that she "wasn't one of us" I was shocked, in a very good way. Was Estabon just demonstrating racism? What I love about it is that it isn't a show trying to say that reverse racism is an actual thing for people to watch out. It's more insidious than that. The fact is, Naomi IS a minority in this Kingdom, and the power structure is not held by people with blonde hair and blue eyes. The show is making a statement about racism without ever trying to pretend that reverse racism is a real problem in our world.
I especially love that Estabon claims that all of the disasters that he was responsible for were Naomi's fault because she was in charge. As galling as that idea is, I love it because it's true! She never should have let Estabon roll over her the way she did all throughout the episode. And then the show did something absolutely awesomely unbelievable. That's the actual lesson! The actual moral is to stand up for yourself and take responsibility when things go badly when you don't. Totally refreshing. I especially love that after that moment Estabon becomes humbler and more willing to give Naomi the benefit of the doubt. I love that Estabon is not an actual villain. He isn't evil, he's misguided. At worse he's Brainy Smurf. But he's still actually on the heroes' side.
I think I'm going to enjoy this show more than I thought I would. This episode proves it. *****.
The Lion Guard "Baboons"
I just realized something cool: Fuli has an amazing character design. Maybe it's because I'm drawing more myself now, but I really admire how expressive her face is, and how striking her colors are.
Answer me this, Lion Guard. Why Is Fuli wanting to hunt the vultures more virtuous than the vultures wanting to hunt the baby baboon? What exactly is the distinction there? The fact that the show doesn't seem to know that there isn't one is its biggest problem.
I liked seeing Kiara problem solve and help save the day for once. Because of The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride, Kiara's role should NEVER be that of a damsel in distress, but the series seemed to have frustratingly forgotten that until this episode. Kiara should be clever and useful in her own right. My only gripe is that it would have been even better if she had gotten out of that fix entirely by herself. I realize the Lion Guard IS the show, but I also don't think they need to fix every single problem every single episode.
Pretty good if you don't think too hard on the logic of it. ***1/2.
Girl Meets World "Girl Meets The Gray Lady Of New York"
I hate The Disney Channel. It's not like this episode was ever going to be great. But the fact that Zay says his ancestors were "brought over" from Ghana means I really resent that the show isn't allowed to actually say that slavery existed. Similarly, Farkle's ancestor "not making it" in "World War II" because they were Jewish, is kind of downplaying the severity of the situation. His ancestors were murdered in the Holocaust. If wee can't actually teach kids what that means, they should probably explore a "safer" topic. Same goes for the woman escaping Cambodia.
And make no mistake. I think it is b.s. that Disney Channel wouldn't let them explore this. I don't blame the show. I blame a level of superficial corporate marketing that refuses to make kids (or racist parents) feel the least bit uncomfortable about any troubling topic. Disney Channel probably wouldn't feel the need to use such kid gloves on such serious topics if the higher ups weren't so gutless, and the conservative "concerned" parents weren't so noisy. I really think this show, as dumb as it is, is actually a bad fit for The Disney Channel.
I liked Zay telling Farkle he could talk to him about it, and Farkle telling him the same thing. It was an acknowledgment between these two kids that they often have to sanitize their pasts and history so as not to upset their goofy white friends. It seemed to me a shared experience of living inside of a group of friends completely blinded by white privilege. If I were Zay, I have to say, I would probably be eaten alive day by day by Riley's self-involved and deplorable personality. If Zay behaved a tenth as badly as Riley did, he'd be shot by the police. That's a fact. The cookie thing (which was referenced here) is perhaps the tip of the iceberg of Zay's possible resentments.
Any fun things? I like that Auggie's "foot massaging equipment" is oven mitts. That's an Al Bundy joke. And since the show is based on ANOTHER sitcom from the 90's, that seems quite appropriate to me.
But the network that airs this show is gutless. ***.
Girl Meets World "Girl Meets She Don't Like Me"
You know, this would have been a really good episode except for that ending over the credits. I cannot believe how awful that was. If I was being honest when I graded the episode I'd give it one star due to that.
What I'll do instead is ignore it and focus on the rest of the episode.
First off, somebody hating Riley when they first meet her is the correct reaction. I've spent a good deal of time with her and I still hate her. I cannot imagine what a challenge is must be to meet a person like that.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer gave us a hint. Remember Buffy's college roommate Cathy? The one with the Celine Dion poster? That's Riley. Except instead of making her the villain, the show actually centers an entire series around her. Noisy obnoxious neighbors are one of the sitcom's most trusted tropes, and make the genre's best villains. I am truly amazed they simply made Riley Matthews one of those horrible, in-your-face, tacky people and expect us to love her for it.
I don't like the Health teacher as much as the rest of the kids did by the end of the episode. Because he taught them life lessons, not health. And sex talk is what the class is for. Granted on a G rated show they can't show that, but the series had a great idea to bleep Smackle's monologue. Maybe that wouldn't have worked for this teacher. But he actually taught them nothing about the subject.
I laughed and was amazed when Cory was the new teacher. It's genius, obvious, and a pleasant shock that I didn't see it coming. What is wrong with me? Have I never seen a sitcom before?
I like that Auggie thinks his middle name is Doggie but seriously, where did he get that specific reference? Frankly, I'm betting even Cory and Topanga are too young to get it. I like that his teacher's name is Mrs. Pigsniffer and he gives every a withering look upon their expressions at hearing it: "It has been remarked." That is the voice of someone resenting telling an old joke.
I think the biggest reason I hated the ending was because it bought back Riley's solution. I fully expected to hate this episode based on the episode preview, and that the episode would spend time either saying that that girl was wrong, and she's a bad person and a bully. Or else she would come around. They came close to the second solution, but I think they tweaked it enough to make it work. I love that they didn't invalidate the girl's feelings. Because I shared them, and I didn't want the lesson to be that I'm crazy for hating obnoxious people. Instead Riley tells her she likes her, and sort of gives the message that the only thing you can control is yourself actual meaning. Which was hideously ruined by the mean-spirited ending. ***** if the episode had ended 30 seconds earlier. **** for what we got.
Power Ranger Dino Super Charge "Recipe For Disaster"
Lemme stop you right there, Power Rangers. When restaurant critics visit, are exploding cakes really a concern? Because I've never seen Gordon Ramsey deal with that.
Also Ryan Carter is amazing. **.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine "Coral Palms: Part 1"
I loved Jake trying (and failing) to say that his favorite movie was Failure To Launch. Part of me thinks Maya Rudolph was trying to torture him by picking that particular movie.
Andre Braugher in a corndog costume is comedy gold.
I laughed at Jake eating the burrito that fell in the hot tub and him screaming as he got rid of the snakes. Funny stuff.
I really hope Holt's tattoo is of Jake riding a dragon. Because he'll never speak of it again.
SO glad this show is back. It's the best comedy on network television. *****.
The Good Place "Pilot" / "Flying"
I love the idea of this show. I think it is amazing to open up philosophical debates about death and the afterlife. So that means I am ready to have that debate.
The Good Place sucks.
The Good Place is unfair. The Good Place is unjust. Basically what this two-part pilot told me is that 999,999 out of a million are damned with eternal torture because they do not manage to live up to some idealized version of what being a good person is. Eleanor is completely unpleasant and mean. But do you know what else she is? Innocent. She's committed no real crimes, and yet the universe of this TV show would have her be eternally tortured because she's a self-involved person.
I will straight up say that a universe that starts to completely fall apart when every single thing in it isn't perfect, it a universe that is fundamentally flawed. A universe where the Heaven guide tells the "good" people there to "not worry about" the Bad Place and just ignore the unjust suffering of hundreds of billions of innocent people so they can learn to fly is messed up. I really hope this is the larger moral of the series. I'm not sure because it is super early, but I would like it if Eleanor is not the bad guy in the series. I would love it if Michael is. Because by all justifiable measures he's worse than Eleanor. Just the fact that he is complicit in the suffering and torture of innocent people means Eleanor's hands are cleaner than his are. The whole theme of the show in the Pilot is that Eleanor doesn't belong here. I think she might be the only person who does. Because she gets the severity of eternal damnation more than every single person who has a detached view of the riffraff less fortunate than they are. Help people during your time on Earth? Your reward is to ignore suffering for the rest of eternity. How messed up is that?
I think the opening scene of the series was one of the best first shots and first scenes I've seen in awhile. We should have immediately guessed something was up with Eleanor because she accepts what she is told far too easily. This is not a person who left loved ones behind with the realization that she will probably never see them again because they went to the Bad Place. The fact that Michael doesn't immediately guess this is the first hint that he is really bad at his job. And it is a terrible job.
Fascinating series. ****.
The Good Place "Tahani Al-Jamil"
Something tells me this series might go the way I want it to. Serious Heaven reforms may be coming. Just the fact that Michael is so awful to Chiti without even realizing it means that the writers may agree with me that he's a bad guy. I hope I'm right. The Jason reveal is another hint that Heaven is not all it is cracked up to be. ****.
Son Of Zorn "Welcome To Orange County"
That was awesome. I loved the Death Hawk and how Zorn killed it when his ex-wife wouldn't let him give it to his son. I also loved the reveal at the end that Alan had cartoon legs. What a great idea. Sort of like Ralph Bakshi's Cool World done right.
I was a little alarmed the mother admitted in front of her son that she was coked out of her mind at one point. Zorn is not the only terrible parent on the show.
The special effects were amazing and it is so cool that something like this can now be done on a TV budget. The blend of live action and animation was almost as good as Roger Rabbit and definitely better than Cool World.
I already love this show. *****.
Van Helsing "Help Me"
Really awkward product placements for Subway and KitKat. A post-apocalypse series means you shouldn't ever product place. The show should have embraced that. The fact that it's the second scene is disturbing.
That guy keeping that vampire in the lab is a really bad idea. Even I can see how that can go wrong. To his credit, he's somehow made it work for six freaking months. I loved the deaf guy scaring her.
Early guess: Dylan is not dead. If Abraham's blood makes Vanessa special, she probably passed that onto her daughter.
Tim Guinee: Dead guy Pilot fodder since Revolution.
Cool ending too! Good first episode outside of the product placement. ****.
Van Helsing "Seen You"
Interesting to get the full origin in only the second episode.
That singing vampire was creepy.
I like that Dylan is an insightful enough person to notice the purse. Another clue she is not dead.
I kind of love how belligerent the doctor is to the army people, until you quickly realize she is not taking the situation seriously enough. And that happens so quickly it's kind of amazing.
I like the perplexed look the guy gives when the Doc vamps. Seriously. This entire situation is outright WEIRD and I love that they had him play it as that.
The second episode answered all of the questions from the first. This is the first time in TV history I've like a second episode more than the Pilot. I cannot think of any other examples off the top of my head. *****.
Scream Queens "Scream Again"
Wow, I really forgot how much I hated Chanel. I think the worst thing about this show is that it is constantly trying to get me to believe that Abigail Breslin is unattractive. This show's whole shtick regarding Chanel #5's supposed ugliness is "Who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?"
Normally, I'd hate a character like Kirstie Alley's. She is absolutely horrible. But she is horrible to the correct people. So I like her instead.
This season feels very much like a murder mystery. Last season was too, but that engaged in more horror tropes. Maybe that was because this was the first show back, but I kind of got the feeling they were leaving more clues here than they did in last season's premiere.
How does Hester not know what double jeopardy is? Frankly, I'm glad she was caught. That was the least satisfying thing about season one. The least satisfying thing about season two so far is not explaining how Chanel survived her season ending encounter with the Red Devil. But we got Denise again, so bonus props for that.
I cannot believe the kid who played Chad doesn't seem to be a regular this year, and wasn't in this episode at all. That's weird, because he was the most talented and funny player in season one. You'd think the producers would do everything in their power to keep him locked down. But nobody ever accused the producers of this show of being smart. Chanel wasn't last season's break-out character, and even Denise and Hester weren't. It was Chad. Totally.
Worst Chanel moment was telling the patient after she felt beautiful for the first time in her life, to dial it back and that she's a Jersey 6 at best. At first, I kind of thought the makeover idea was awesome. But it led to that, which made me realize Chanel doesn't actually possess any redeeming qualities, and I was ridiculous for ever hoping she might.
Zayday's reaction to seeing the Chanels was the proper one, so I'm a little dismayed she completely bought it back. It would have been funnier if she had meant it.
Normally I'd complain this premiere wasn't all that hot, but the truth is neither was season one. This was about average compared to that. ***.
The Blacklist "Esteban"
So, what? Now half a season of chasing after Liz? I thought last season's finale was the breaking point for the series, and I was absolutely right. The fake-out death of Liz serves the exact same purpose as Liz being wanted for murder, and now being kidnapped by a crazy person does. It allows the show to spin its wheels without ever having to address the unanswered questions about Liz and Red. The messed up thing is that during these arcs they try so hard to convince the audience we are STILL learning new stuff, but we're not. Ever since the season two finale, the show has been in a nonstop tailspin and this is a sharkjump it will not recover from. Frankly, I don't even think it WANTS to recover at this point. If they actually DID want to tell their actual story, they would. It's not so hard. And as J.J. Abrams proved on Alias, sometimes the fall-out from the truth is just as interesting as the truth itself. The show doesn't have to end by answering questions about Liz and Red. And if it does, it means the show was never sustainable and the writers were never talented.
On the other hand, David Zayas was great casting. He does a Cuban accent as good as an Italian one on Gotham.
But I was sickened by last year's finale and the premiere is a similar level of disgust for me. *.
Blindspot "In Night So Ransomed Rogue"
Here's a question: Why SHOULD I forgive Jane for last season? What good has she done that I as an audience member can look past the fact that she was an accessory to Mayfair's murder? If she wasn't, she would have immediately owned up to it. I don't like that the show doesn't point that out and pretends that she helped Oscar under duress (she did not). I really don't need the producers to whitewash the character's actions when I saw her behave so deplorably with my own eyes.
The show is trying to get me to think it's possible that Patterson is the potential mole? It is to laugh.
I kind of thought at the end of the season when they blew up the show they way they did, that perhaps there was no going back for Jane. I still think that. **1/2.
Blindspot "Heavy Fiery Knot"
I loved Naz telling Jane she DOES know what it's like to be looked at with suspicion and fear. I love that moment because it shows that every single white person benefits from white privilege, whether they were raised as racists, or don't remember enough about themselves to even BE racist. The fact that Jane can say something like that to a Pakistani woman without being aware of what is actually going on is another reason I dislike Jane.
I love that Weller hates working with Jane and can't stand to be in the same room as her. I love that she heard that. I kind of regret that he later bought it back by saying he didn't actually hate her. Because by all rights he should.
Did Ashley Johnson get implants, or did she have a baby? Maybe it's because she was wearing a sweater instead of a labcoat but I don't recall her being so top-heavy in any of the Joss Whedon projects I saw her in previously.
Pretty good. ***.