"Star Wars: The Force Awakens" Review (Major Spoilers)
Also reviews for the latest episodes of Teen Titans Go!, Mickey Mouse, Girl Meets World, Galavant, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Simpsons, Heroes Reborn, Family Guy, Bordertown, and The Blacklist.
Upcoming reviews include Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, Ant-Man (Blu-Ray), The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, Inside Out (Blu-Ray), Phineas And Ferb: Star Wars, Star Wars Rebels: Season 1, Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: Justice League: Attack Of The Legion Of Doom, Batman Unlimited: Monster Mayhem, Teen Titans Go!: House Pests, Arrow: Season 3, The Flash: Season 1, Gotham: Season 1, iZombie: Season 1, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Retreat!, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Return To NYC!, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Revenge!, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, Mr. Peabody & Sherman, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Under The Dome: Season 3, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Doctor Who: Dark Water / Death In Heaven, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Tremor 5: Bloodlines, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), Grimm: Season 4, The Wonder Years: Season 4, and Mulholland Dr..
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Pretty much the best Star Wars film of all time. That last shot of Luke and Rey: Has there EVER been anything as awesome in the franchise before that? Didn't think so.
Han's death killed me. The worst thing is I could tell it was coming. All I know about Ren now is that I hate him and I want him to die. They better not be hoping to stupidly "redeem" him the way they did Vader. Because after that, that will not stand.
I'm always amused at how lukewarm Harrison Ford is on the Star Wars franchise. While he is right that it's overrated and kind of outright stupid in places, he's the best thing in it. I would think an actor would be proud of that fact and want to embrace it. When I hear Han say "Chewie, we're home" I realize how irreplaceable he is and how all future Star Wars films are going to be lacking without him.
I dig Rey and Finn and BB-8. They were all likable and appealing and made favorable first impressions. I like that Finn is realistically freaked the eff out all of the time because that's a human reaction and we've never had a Star Wars character before now give one of those. Long overdue.
I suspected going in that this would be the best Star Wars film by far and I was not disappointed. A must-see. *****.
Teen Titans Go! "Garage Sale"
Return of the Legendary Sandwich! I also love that they said the actual episode titles and numbers the items came from. Handy.
Doing a Charlie Chaplin in front of a mirror is hard if you have the ability to turn into animals.
Love that Slade's mask is at the garage sale.
Pretty good. ****.
iZombie "Method Head"
I am a bit saddened and annoyed to realize that Zombie High is a better premise than iZombie. Just look at the scene they filmed. Heads above anything on this show yet. I'm not saying the show will never deliver a moment as big as that, but it hasn't yet. The episode tries to cutely say that a show that stars a zombie is inherently better than one that stars people who fight them, but that simply isn't true. Because making a zombie a good guy means that you have to cheat and not be allowed to show the most fun and horrible things about the premise.
I wasn't gonna give Major TOO much credit for seeing through the bluff, until Weber locked the doctor in the room with live zombies. Then, even I was concerned. The credit that goes to Major is committing even through that. Not bad.
I have to call b.s. on the idea that making fun of a disabled person on camera will ruin your career. Exhibit A for the defense: Donald Trump.
Don't you hate it when the show the show is making fun of is actually better than the show itself? Frustrating. ***1/2.
Mickey Mouse "No"
This cartoon shows that Mickey Mouse isn't just nice and friendly. He's a doormat. I would have liked the cartoon had they stuck with that moral, but no, Mickey being a sucker HAS to be rewarded at the end. Sometimes I don't think this cartoon is as subversive as it thinks it is.
Alan Young is amazingly still alive. And I smile widely. Good hearing Russi Taylor as Huey, Dewey, and Louie too. DuckTales reunion.
I think Mickey is a MUCH worse person than the cartoon wants me to believe he is. Three and a half stars for Alan Young. ***1/2.
Girl Meets World "Girl Meets STEM"
I really liked it. The message of Girls and STEM is SUCH a huge problem and sexism still permeates the sciences. And Farkle and Lucas don't even realize they've done something wrong until it is pointed out to them.
I give a LOT of crap to Riley but good for her for figuring something was immediately up with the marble. The whole thing smelled.
They are starting to hook up Maya and Lucas because those two actors had more chemistry than Riley and Lucas. I'm wondering if the same thing will happen with Riley and Farkle. There is some genuine chemistry this episode that I'm betting the producers will not be able to deny for much longer. As cute as Smackle and Farkle are together, it may make more sense to actually pair him up with Riley after all.
I love that Topanga is one of THOSE soccer moms. She ostensibly gets Auggie to believe she's concerned he's not applying himself, but in reality? She's embarrassed. The other moms are starting to talk. And she immediately goes for the vodka free orange juice when she gets home. Great subtext behind that scene for a G-rated show.
About 15-20% of this show's episodes are decent. This was one of them. ****1/2.
Galavant "Aw, Hell, The King"
Wow, Alan Menken getting up on his soap box about the Iraq War. Little late, dude.
Do you know what gag I found funny and horrible? Baby fights! They aren't actually exciting, even when you introduce a cobra into them. Good laugh. And I felt sick about it afterwards.
Vinnie Jones and Luke Youngblood will never get old. They are great together. Vinnie Jones seems to make everyone he performs with better. He is a VERY generous actor.
Cool. ****.
Galavant "Bewitched, Bothered, And Belittled"
I don't really care about Madelena's problems because Madelena is horrible. But Gareth is so awesome because he knows exactly how to cheer her up. How did those women THINK that would end?
Don't care about Chef and Gwen either. They should save a musical number for someone else.
Richard and Roberta was much more successful. I officially ship them both. Although I think it is kind of dinkish for Galavant to want to get rid of Richard when he did. Yeah, Richard is a liability. But Richard is also the only person who has stood by him no matter what. They've gotten out of their life-threatening scrapes okay. You don't toss full-throated loyalty aside like that, especially since Richard doesn't have anything else to do.
I didn't much like this episode but Gareth and Richard make up for a lot. ***.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Riddle Of The Ancient Aeons"
Two things: One thing I liked, one thing I have a question about.
Thing I liked:
Super cool to hear Michael Dorn talking about Away Teams again.
Question:
How did Fugitoid regrow his arm after the cave saw chopped it off?
Passable episode. ***.
The Simpsons "Teenage Mutant Milk-Caused Hurdles"
A dud. My biggest complaint about the Al Jean years, the good AND the bad, is that Jean tries to have the kids act like teenagers. This episode actually tries to give a reason for it. That is why it sucks.
Milhouse thought Krabappel was hot? I can see it. Glad the show hasn't simply forgotten Edna the way it did Lionel Hutz and Troy McClure.
The Couch Gag was admittedly awesome.
But this was a bad night for Fox cartoons. *1/2.
Heroes Reborn "Company Woman"
The series has tanked in the ratings, and gotten some REALLY harsh reviews (Entertainment Weekly called it one of the worst five series of the year) but honestly? My initial impression of the penultimate episode is favorable. It could all go to hell next week (Finale flopping is where Tim Kring lives) but if the last episode in the franchise is this level of quality, I'll live with it.
I hated the rape subtext though. I get that it was supposed to be upsetting, but it was REALLY upsetting. I honestly don't need to feel bad for Erica at this stage in the game. She's committing genocide. The last thing the series needs to do is give me a reason to feel sorry for her.
Not shocked Quentin changed sides again. I hope he and Noah get a scene together next week.
Second episode in a row without Noah. That's really upsetting since he's the best character.
I would not mind if this is the last we see of Matt Parkman. That would be a really fitting fate for that shmuck.
We'll see how bad next week is before I know for sure if this episode is good or not. For now, it is worth four stars out of five. ****.
Family Guy "The Peanut Butter Kid"
Normally, I'd be angry at Brian throwing Peter's dead father in his face with no provocation, but Brian was the ONLY person looking out for Stewie this episode. It is clear he is the only person in the house who actually cares about him. I do not understand why this show has Peter and Lois be as horrible as they are. It doesn't actually generate any laughs and it just makes the show hard to watch. Knowing they have this in them also means I can never enjoy a future episode in which they aren't horrible. The show is hurting itself by making the characters so detestable.
I was especially angry at Peter's "Don't wink at my baby". The reason it made me so angry was because I bet the show thought it was a good meta joke about how clueless Peter and Lois are, but I think Peter showing concern for Stewie's well-being is entirely too little, too late. And to believe the person who was trying to help his son is capable of such monstrousness shows that Peter is not just a bad husband and father. He's a bad friend.
I hated this episode. 0.
Bordertown "Borderwall"
This was still horrible. The Philip Seymour Hoffman joke was tasteless even by Fuzzy Door standards. But I will admit I kind of get why the show exists now: to keep Seth MacFarlane happy. They are giving the show zero promotion and the idea that it will last another season is laughable. This is this season's version of The Winner or Dads. Seth gets a bad show made because Family Guy T-shirts still sell. Fox used to do the same thing with crummy Chris Carter shows when The X-Files was popular. This will never last past this season.
All that said, were there ANY good jokes? I would almost call the Chelsea Handler joke cruel if it weren't for the fact that Handler talks smack about celebrity's appearances all the time. Maybe she SHOULDN'T go on camera looking like she slept on her face. I also found the Bill Maher stand-in precisely as annoying as Maher. Maher supposedly stands up for the little guy... on a network it costs 20 dollars a month to watch. Maher isn't fooling anyone.
But seriously, this show sucks and is going nowhere. If Seth is lucky Fox will let him finish off the season without a summer burn-off. I still can't believe Last Man On Earth was put on hiatus for this. *.
The Blacklist "The Director: Conclusion"
"Who doesn't like an apple?"
I love that that worked. Red's solutions are the simplest and the best, and they always, ALWAYS work. It's the little touches that make things come together. I've said before the best thing about this show is that you know the good guys are going to win. If Red turns out to be a Black Hat watch out, because they're doomed. But as long as Red is on their side, the bad guys are going down.
That was brutal and humiliating for the Director, and I loved him being thrown under the bus like that. Just so the President doesn't know what happened here.
I think Liz's deal was good. What do I think of Red with Christine Lahti at the end? I am not too concerned just because he parties with friends and enemies alike. While there is a chance he wants to join the Cabal, there is every possibility he is playing her to bring her down as well. In fact, that is the most likely scenario.
Red's plan was so great because it was audacious. And it also seemed a bit simple too when you get right down to it. Especially when you see the wheels that were greased to get that assassin a plea of insanity. That was a whole level of government malfeasance that Red simply works around. Because his alternatives are worse than what the Cabal can dream of.
Loved Amir discovering that Navabi was in the club. I wonder if he still thinks he still has a shot. I think he might unless Red makes a play. But that is not beyond the realm of possibility.
Red laughing at the Director and telling the Director it was none of his business what Liz knows was great. Jame Spader is awesome.
I was looking forward to this episode and I wasn't disappointed. *****.
Upcoming reviews include Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, Ant-Man (Blu-Ray), The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, Inside Out (Blu-Ray), Phineas And Ferb: Star Wars, Star Wars Rebels: Season 1, Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: Justice League: Attack Of The Legion Of Doom, Batman Unlimited: Monster Mayhem, Teen Titans Go!: House Pests, Arrow: Season 3, The Flash: Season 1, Gotham: Season 1, iZombie: Season 1, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Retreat!, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Return To NYC!, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Revenge!, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, Mr. Peabody & Sherman, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Under The Dome: Season 3, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Doctor Who: Dark Water / Death In Heaven, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Tremor 5: Bloodlines, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), Grimm: Season 4, The Wonder Years: Season 4, and Mulholland Dr..
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Pretty much the best Star Wars film of all time. That last shot of Luke and Rey: Has there EVER been anything as awesome in the franchise before that? Didn't think so.
Han's death killed me. The worst thing is I could tell it was coming. All I know about Ren now is that I hate him and I want him to die. They better not be hoping to stupidly "redeem" him the way they did Vader. Because after that, that will not stand.
I'm always amused at how lukewarm Harrison Ford is on the Star Wars franchise. While he is right that it's overrated and kind of outright stupid in places, he's the best thing in it. I would think an actor would be proud of that fact and want to embrace it. When I hear Han say "Chewie, we're home" I realize how irreplaceable he is and how all future Star Wars films are going to be lacking without him.
I dig Rey and Finn and BB-8. They were all likable and appealing and made favorable first impressions. I like that Finn is realistically freaked the eff out all of the time because that's a human reaction and we've never had a Star Wars character before now give one of those. Long overdue.
I suspected going in that this would be the best Star Wars film by far and I was not disappointed. A must-see. *****.
Teen Titans Go! "Garage Sale"
Return of the Legendary Sandwich! I also love that they said the actual episode titles and numbers the items came from. Handy.
Doing a Charlie Chaplin in front of a mirror is hard if you have the ability to turn into animals.
Love that Slade's mask is at the garage sale.
Pretty good. ****.
iZombie "Method Head"
I am a bit saddened and annoyed to realize that Zombie High is a better premise than iZombie. Just look at the scene they filmed. Heads above anything on this show yet. I'm not saying the show will never deliver a moment as big as that, but it hasn't yet. The episode tries to cutely say that a show that stars a zombie is inherently better than one that stars people who fight them, but that simply isn't true. Because making a zombie a good guy means that you have to cheat and not be allowed to show the most fun and horrible things about the premise.
I wasn't gonna give Major TOO much credit for seeing through the bluff, until Weber locked the doctor in the room with live zombies. Then, even I was concerned. The credit that goes to Major is committing even through that. Not bad.
I have to call b.s. on the idea that making fun of a disabled person on camera will ruin your career. Exhibit A for the defense: Donald Trump.
Don't you hate it when the show the show is making fun of is actually better than the show itself? Frustrating. ***1/2.
Mickey Mouse "No"
This cartoon shows that Mickey Mouse isn't just nice and friendly. He's a doormat. I would have liked the cartoon had they stuck with that moral, but no, Mickey being a sucker HAS to be rewarded at the end. Sometimes I don't think this cartoon is as subversive as it thinks it is.
Alan Young is amazingly still alive. And I smile widely. Good hearing Russi Taylor as Huey, Dewey, and Louie too. DuckTales reunion.
I think Mickey is a MUCH worse person than the cartoon wants me to believe he is. Three and a half stars for Alan Young. ***1/2.
Girl Meets World "Girl Meets STEM"
I really liked it. The message of Girls and STEM is SUCH a huge problem and sexism still permeates the sciences. And Farkle and Lucas don't even realize they've done something wrong until it is pointed out to them.
I give a LOT of crap to Riley but good for her for figuring something was immediately up with the marble. The whole thing smelled.
They are starting to hook up Maya and Lucas because those two actors had more chemistry than Riley and Lucas. I'm wondering if the same thing will happen with Riley and Farkle. There is some genuine chemistry this episode that I'm betting the producers will not be able to deny for much longer. As cute as Smackle and Farkle are together, it may make more sense to actually pair him up with Riley after all.
I love that Topanga is one of THOSE soccer moms. She ostensibly gets Auggie to believe she's concerned he's not applying himself, but in reality? She's embarrassed. The other moms are starting to talk. And she immediately goes for the vodka free orange juice when she gets home. Great subtext behind that scene for a G-rated show.
About 15-20% of this show's episodes are decent. This was one of them. ****1/2.
Galavant "Aw, Hell, The King"
Wow, Alan Menken getting up on his soap box about the Iraq War. Little late, dude.
Do you know what gag I found funny and horrible? Baby fights! They aren't actually exciting, even when you introduce a cobra into them. Good laugh. And I felt sick about it afterwards.
Vinnie Jones and Luke Youngblood will never get old. They are great together. Vinnie Jones seems to make everyone he performs with better. He is a VERY generous actor.
Cool. ****.
Galavant "Bewitched, Bothered, And Belittled"
I don't really care about Madelena's problems because Madelena is horrible. But Gareth is so awesome because he knows exactly how to cheer her up. How did those women THINK that would end?
Don't care about Chef and Gwen either. They should save a musical number for someone else.
Richard and Roberta was much more successful. I officially ship them both. Although I think it is kind of dinkish for Galavant to want to get rid of Richard when he did. Yeah, Richard is a liability. But Richard is also the only person who has stood by him no matter what. They've gotten out of their life-threatening scrapes okay. You don't toss full-throated loyalty aside like that, especially since Richard doesn't have anything else to do.
I didn't much like this episode but Gareth and Richard make up for a lot. ***.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Riddle Of The Ancient Aeons"
Two things: One thing I liked, one thing I have a question about.
Thing I liked:
Super cool to hear Michael Dorn talking about Away Teams again.
Question:
How did Fugitoid regrow his arm after the cave saw chopped it off?
Passable episode. ***.
The Simpsons "Teenage Mutant Milk-Caused Hurdles"
A dud. My biggest complaint about the Al Jean years, the good AND the bad, is that Jean tries to have the kids act like teenagers. This episode actually tries to give a reason for it. That is why it sucks.
Milhouse thought Krabappel was hot? I can see it. Glad the show hasn't simply forgotten Edna the way it did Lionel Hutz and Troy McClure.
The Couch Gag was admittedly awesome.
But this was a bad night for Fox cartoons. *1/2.
Heroes Reborn "Company Woman"
The series has tanked in the ratings, and gotten some REALLY harsh reviews (Entertainment Weekly called it one of the worst five series of the year) but honestly? My initial impression of the penultimate episode is favorable. It could all go to hell next week (Finale flopping is where Tim Kring lives) but if the last episode in the franchise is this level of quality, I'll live with it.
I hated the rape subtext though. I get that it was supposed to be upsetting, but it was REALLY upsetting. I honestly don't need to feel bad for Erica at this stage in the game. She's committing genocide. The last thing the series needs to do is give me a reason to feel sorry for her.
Not shocked Quentin changed sides again. I hope he and Noah get a scene together next week.
Second episode in a row without Noah. That's really upsetting since he's the best character.
I would not mind if this is the last we see of Matt Parkman. That would be a really fitting fate for that shmuck.
We'll see how bad next week is before I know for sure if this episode is good or not. For now, it is worth four stars out of five. ****.
Family Guy "The Peanut Butter Kid"
Normally, I'd be angry at Brian throwing Peter's dead father in his face with no provocation, but Brian was the ONLY person looking out for Stewie this episode. It is clear he is the only person in the house who actually cares about him. I do not understand why this show has Peter and Lois be as horrible as they are. It doesn't actually generate any laughs and it just makes the show hard to watch. Knowing they have this in them also means I can never enjoy a future episode in which they aren't horrible. The show is hurting itself by making the characters so detestable.
I was especially angry at Peter's "Don't wink at my baby". The reason it made me so angry was because I bet the show thought it was a good meta joke about how clueless Peter and Lois are, but I think Peter showing concern for Stewie's well-being is entirely too little, too late. And to believe the person who was trying to help his son is capable of such monstrousness shows that Peter is not just a bad husband and father. He's a bad friend.
I hated this episode. 0.
Bordertown "Borderwall"
This was still horrible. The Philip Seymour Hoffman joke was tasteless even by Fuzzy Door standards. But I will admit I kind of get why the show exists now: to keep Seth MacFarlane happy. They are giving the show zero promotion and the idea that it will last another season is laughable. This is this season's version of The Winner or Dads. Seth gets a bad show made because Family Guy T-shirts still sell. Fox used to do the same thing with crummy Chris Carter shows when The X-Files was popular. This will never last past this season.
All that said, were there ANY good jokes? I would almost call the Chelsea Handler joke cruel if it weren't for the fact that Handler talks smack about celebrity's appearances all the time. Maybe she SHOULDN'T go on camera looking like she slept on her face. I also found the Bill Maher stand-in precisely as annoying as Maher. Maher supposedly stands up for the little guy... on a network it costs 20 dollars a month to watch. Maher isn't fooling anyone.
But seriously, this show sucks and is going nowhere. If Seth is lucky Fox will let him finish off the season without a summer burn-off. I still can't believe Last Man On Earth was put on hiatus for this. *.
The Blacklist "The Director: Conclusion"
"Who doesn't like an apple?"
I love that that worked. Red's solutions are the simplest and the best, and they always, ALWAYS work. It's the little touches that make things come together. I've said before the best thing about this show is that you know the good guys are going to win. If Red turns out to be a Black Hat watch out, because they're doomed. But as long as Red is on their side, the bad guys are going down.
That was brutal and humiliating for the Director, and I loved him being thrown under the bus like that. Just so the President doesn't know what happened here.
I think Liz's deal was good. What do I think of Red with Christine Lahti at the end? I am not too concerned just because he parties with friends and enemies alike. While there is a chance he wants to join the Cabal, there is every possibility he is playing her to bring her down as well. In fact, that is the most likely scenario.
Red's plan was so great because it was audacious. And it also seemed a bit simple too when you get right down to it. Especially when you see the wheels that were greased to get that assassin a plea of insanity. That was a whole level of government malfeasance that Red simply works around. Because his alternatives are worse than what the Cabal can dream of.
Loved Amir discovering that Navabi was in the club. I wonder if he still thinks he still has a shot. I think he might unless Red makes a play. But that is not beyond the realm of possibility.
Red laughing at the Director and telling the Director it was none of his business what Liz knows was great. Jame Spader is awesome.
I was looking forward to this episode and I wasn't disappointed. *****.