"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Showdown In Dimension X" Review (Spoilers)
Also reviews for the latest episodes of Heroes Reborn, Haven, and Grimm, the Bones / Sleepy Hollow crossover, and the latest episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Family Guy, The Last Man On Earth, Minority Report, The Blacklist, Black Jesus, and Fargo.
Upcoming reviews include Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, Inside Out (Blu-Ray), Toy Story That Time Forgot (Blu-Ray), Phineas And Ferb: Star Wars, Star Wars Rebels: Season 1, Lego Star Wars: The New Yoda Chronicles, Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: Justice League: Attack Of The Legion Of Doom, Batman Unlimited: Monster Mayhem, Teen Titans Go!: House Pests, Arrow: Season 3, The Flash: Season 1, Gotham: Season 1, iZombie: Season 1, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Retreat!, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Return To NYC!, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014), Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, Mr. Peabody & Sherman, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Doctor Who: Dark Water / Death In Heaven, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Tremor 5: Bloodlines, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), Grimm: Season 4, and Mulholland Dr..
Heroes Reborn "June 13th, Part 1"
Man, I knew Monhinder was stupid. I knew Mohinder was a patsy. I knew he was a sap. But it's hard to believe he is THAT big of a stupid, sappy, patsy. Wow. No respect left. Gone. And I never had much.
Erica is probably the most evil villain the show has ever created. Even Sylar wasn't into genocide. I cannot wait for Noah to take her down.
We still didn't learn why Molly was afraid of HRG. Maybe next week?
Aaah! Christine Rose! Angela Petrelli was the second best character from the old show after Molly Walker. Rose always killed it and she did again tonight.
Childbirth is the only plausible excuse for Clair's death. But it still felt totally wrong for Noah to be kissing the sheet covering her face. NBC did itself no favors in the promos either. But this is the first episode that doesn't work because Hayden Panettiere is unavailable. The previous episodes were able to wing it. Not this time.
Matt Parkman next week. Looks good. ****.
Haven "Wild Card"
Just based on the voice, either Vince or Dave is Audrey's father and the Big Bad of the entire series. It's sounds like Dave, but has Vince's inflections and gravel. I think it's Dave. Just because this stuff has been eating him alive and it would be cool if he wasn't even AWARE he was Mr. Hyde.
But that doesn't answer the question as to why Charlotte wouldn't have recognized him in the town earlier. Shape-changer maybe? Not unprecedented.
Duke's stuff is going to be awesome next. week. Haven ALWAYS pays off any potential gamechanger cliffhanger or almost revelation with an actual gamechanger or revelation. Next week is gonna be sweet. ****1/2.
Grimm "The Grimm Identity"
Here is my opinion. Grimm is at its best when everyone is comparing notes, learning secrets and dealing with the fall-out of big moments. So this should have been a classic.
But it's not. Because Nick is dealing with so much he can barely muster emotion when telling his friends Juliet is dead. Rosalee's horrified reaction in the correct one. And I don't blame Nick exactly but the writers who filled his plate beyond reason.
And seeing Nick hold his rape baby is nowhere near as touching as it would be if the writers hadn't made that the precise reason Adalind got pregnant.
This series is in trouble and no amount of "They're coming" will save it. **1/2.
Bones "The Resurrection In The Remains"
I do not watch Bones. I saw the Pilot a decade ago and this episode, and that's as far as it goes for my knowledge of the franchise. But I can safely say that if I were a Bones fan and saw this, I'd be upset. Heck, I'd probably be upset even if I also followed Sleepy Hollow. I think while this crossover was great for Sleepy Hollow, it sort of completely wrecks the credibility of Bones. It's not like Bones could NEVER interact with a genre show. I doubt I would raise an eyebrow if Mulder and Scully showed up. Because their genre involves science. But Sleepy Hollow is a specific kind of genre show: the Biblical fantasy. And this episode pretty much says that Bones is an atheist. And I'm betting this is one of the core tenants of the characters. She's the skeptic, and Booth is the believer as far as I can tell from this episode.
So what does making Sleepy Hollow canon do? It makes her wrong. Unambiguously wrong. In a show whose meet cute between the two leads is predicated on Bones being a fact based know-it-all, the show just said she has no idea what she is talking about. This is a science based show. Faith based fantasy is absolutely the wrong genre to mix it with it. The arguments between Booth and Bones are the show's selling point. They shouldn't actually give a definite answer as to who is right for the viewer's sake. That's part of the fun. Which it just destroyed. Heck, both shows will probably get a raise in ratings for a week. But I think the episode just completely destroyed Bones. Maybe I'm misreading thing. Maybe the show isn't as intractable as I think Brennan is making it sound during the episode. But I don't think I am.
But this episode settled something for me. Whatever else Temperance Brennan is (genius, mad-woman) her encouraging Crane to have sex with Abbie after knowing him for all of five minutes means one thing: Bones is totally gross. If a balding, creepy, middle-aged dude said that, we'd call the police. But somehow the show thinks that because Bones looks like Emily Deschanel, she should get a pass for disgusting behavior. Which tells me I probably wouldn't like this show on a weekly basis.
As a Sleepy Hollow crossover: ****. As a Bones episode: 0.
Sleepy Hollow "Dead Men Tell No Tales"
This episode did something right. It had Booth simply shoot the puzzle. I think Abbie has gotten so used to Crane, that she overthinks things that she doesn't need to. Guns will still work in most situations. A puzzle box from the 18th Century will probably not hold up against a 21st Century glock. Just sayin'.
The other thing I adored about the episode was the cliffhanger. Because there was nothing supernatural about it. Abbie got herself into a huge fix by her supernatural job interfering with her real-life one. And she is totally busted. I can't wait for next week. ****.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine "Halloween III"
I like that Amy won, but I hope she isn't part of the contest next year. It's funnier when it is just Jake and Holt. But unlike the other mysteries of the previous Halloweens, it was obvious she was the janitor and that the elevator worked.
I loved both of them screaming into her breasts. At least the Captain has enough shame to apologize for "cleavage". That was perhaps the creepiest thing Holt has ever said. I love how seriously he reiterated to Terry NOT to get him a soda.
That's why you throw garbage away, Jake. How are he and Amy together? I love him proposing to her as a tactic to win. "I know we've never said we loved each other but I'm feeling it in this moment." That was literally the first time Jake told her he loved her. And he can't undo that. LOL!
What's interesting about Jake and Holt not wanting to choose Amy is that it made complete sense that each would think she was on the other's side. And I love that they were both so self-unaware that they couldn't tell how much they were genuinely hurting her. So funny.
Gina and Charles was funny too. Nadia is his girlfriend's twin! NOOOOO!!!
Honestly? Not as good as the first two Halloweens, just because it was entirely predictable. I didn't expect Jake to win the first one, or Holt to win the next, but I knew it was Amy pretty early on. Oh well. ***1/2.
Family Guy "Peternormal Activity"
That "Well pass along your gross request to Mila Kunis" joke is one of those Sethverse jokes like Star Trek II: Edited for Goats that I cannot stop laughing at. Literally. I was having a hard time for five minutes after that following the episode because I was laughing so hard. The episode is getting four and a half stars just for that.
Cool they got John Mellancamp to voiced himself for the crazy song.
I do not think what Stewie did with the baseball bat was out of line. That is the exact response Brian's glasses deserved. Why that woman didn't kick him in the balls for saying "I like your boobs" I'll never know.
Meg's "Why are you cutting away to me? I didn't do anything! What are they saying I did?" shows exactly how abused this poor character is.
So that joke pretty much sold me the episode. ****1/2.
The Last Man On Earth "Crickets"
I loved it. I love that as sorry as Todd is, he still gets punished. Which is the correct moral. And I think he'll be able to repair with Melissa. But I'm glad he realized Phil 1 is genuine about trying to make amends. And of course Melissa goes to Todd for the real story because she knows he will tell the truth in that moment. Which is cool.
I had a feeling it was food-hoarding Todd was doing and I'm glad I was right. I can forgive him for this. I love that he forgave Phil 1 too. I would have in his position too.
What the food thing tells me is they should be searching around the country for more food that is good. What about bomb shelters stacked with grub that lasts for decades? They don't need to be eating crickets if they were more resourceful.
I loved Erica sticking up for Carol in the end. And Carol knew just how big a moment that was. Phil 2 is pretty obnoxious in my mind. He doesn't deserve Carol.
Great episode. Last week worried me but this show always does that. Which is why it is my obsession. *****.
Minority Report "Fiddler's Neck"
Passable but unmemorable. It was nice to get some development for Agatha, but we didn't really learn anything new about her. So-so. **1/2.
The Blacklist "Arioch Cain"
The first thing that jumps out at me is the way Red killed Vargas. After the crisis was resolved, it was the very first thing he did. He did it wordlessly and did not waste an ounce of comforting quips on him. He did not deserve Red's grace in his final moments. He was unworthy of it.
The second thing is Red stating that he doesn't do 12 step programs because he refuses to believe in a higher being more powerful than himself. That's Biblical, deep, epic, funny, insightful, and I bet, true. He is also the kind of guy who shoots poachers. I love that.
Tom is gonna turn out to be the best friend that couple could ever have. They just don't know it yet.
I am a little uncomfortable that the girl who orchestrated the hit in the first place did not have to deal with any negative consequences for it. That was planning a first degree murder. Instead she gets a wistful moment with Liz. How is anything she did in the episode different than what Vargas was killed for? I get that she's a cute white girl, and Red and Liz aren't the police, but that kid should be doing serious jailtime.
Amir won't hug Ressler again. Big mistake.
I am a little bit surprised how well Liz on the run is sustaining itself for so long. It still doesn't feel forced or as if the show is spinning it's wheels. It's just another cool story arc. ****.
Black Jesus "Thy Neighbor's Strife"
What is astonishing to me about Vic is how deeply held his Christian beliefs are since he is shunning the actual Jesus. Ironically, Jesus is the type of dude who tells Vic he is one of his favorite people. I think Jesus has bad taste.
Going to Reverend Otis for spiritual guidance is exactly why Vic will never get any better. Otis' "I pay myself" pretty much sums up why I turned my back on Christianity. This is basically the bull conservative preachers are always going on about and why freaks like the Duggars are automatically forgiven. It's a racket an always has been. Part of the reason I became an agnostic isn't simply because I started embracing science. It was more like I slowly began to realize I was surrounded by absolutely terrible people and that told me something.
Otis telling Vic he would have called the police if he killed somebody states another interesting truth that I've only heard King of the Hill explore before. The sanctity of a confession to a priest / reverend is only as sacred as the preacher in question. No guarantees he won't screw you over if you spook him. That a priest will NEVER sell you out is always true on TV, but I'm betting is WAY more flexible in real life. I think in real life the only people you can count on a priest definitely having their back legally are other priests.
I love the idea of Jesus as rock star and that when they prayed for him, he showed up. I have to say I kind of really hate Boonie and how free he is the with the B word. He really has no license to call a woman that and nobody but Jesus is correcting him. Boonie is often lovable but when Ms. Tudi isn't raining her wrath upon him he is often quite an ugly stereotype of a character. And that's all he was this week.
I didn't love this episode but I didn't hate it either. **1/2.
Fargo "The Myth Of Sisyphus"
Few thoughts about that:
1. Eddie and Peggy are not getting out of the season alive. That ending told me for the first time that they were in MUCH bigger trouble than I even suspected. Jail is not their primary concern. The Gayrhearts killing them is. And they were willing to kill Skip over typewriters.
2. Borrowing money from the mob for typewriters seems like the single lamest and looniest way to get into debt. I mean, Skip is SUCH a loser, that he doesn't quite realize how stupid he is for playing life and death stakes over something as dumb as typewriters. How stupid is Skip? They tell him to lie down in the hole and he does. That actually depressed me.
3. Mike Milligan is absolutely amazingly insightful. He says that the people from Minnesota are actually UNFRIENDLY but the weird thing is that they are polite about it. As if they are actually doing you a favor. That was awesome. I'm betting Mike survives the season. He is aware about how people work in a way a nihilist like Lorn Malvo wasn't. I'm starting to think Lorne only got as far as he did because nobody pushed back against him for so long. But Milligan already knows how to handle himself and he seems to be getting it from all sides.
Last week was better than the first and this week was better than the last. ***1/2.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Showdown In Dimension X
A 2 disc set of the second half of the second season.
I have to say, even though season two is hands-down the worst season of the show, it pretty much ends perfectly on a high note the series never achieved before. The first half of the season being filled with what I call the Three Stooges (Donnie, Raph, Leo) and Roger Rabbit (Mikey) sucked. But the show took things to the next level in the dire season finale (The Invasion). It is the finest thing the series ever produced, and the finest Turtle production since the debut of Bishop in the 2003 4KidsTV series. It is magnificent. Other great episodes are "The Manhattan Project" (A.K.A. Wormquake!), the one where the Turtles actually did GOOD for once (The Lonely Mutation Of Baxter Stockman), and the amazing fight scenes of "The Wrath Of Tiger Claw".
Funnily enough, even though this IS the worst season, there is a definite lack of outright terrible episodes on this particular set. The weakest is "Mazes and Mutants" but every episode here gets at least two and a half stars or higher. Set Overall: ****1/2. Season Overall: **1/2.
The Manhattan Project: Part 1:
A.K.A. "Wormquake!". Unleash the Krithatricon! Tiger Claw isn't quite an Ice Cream Kitty level of awesomesauce, but he is still a welcome addition to the Turtles franchise. I forgot that he wasn't wearing his trademark eyepatch in his first appearance. I like that the first thing Shredder does upon seeing Bradford is tell him how terrible he looks. That pretty much got the entire issue out of the way and settled in a clever put-down. I also love that Tiger Claw immediately disparages the Foot as unworthy allies and Shredder lets him get away with it. That shows that Shredder takes him VERY seriously as an asset. Karai would never get away with that. The fact that Tiger Claw does scares me. I also love that when he drinks milk out of a mug, he laps it up with his tongue like a cat. The Cheese Phone is beyond corny. I refuse to say cheesy because that's frickin' enough. I am amused that Splinter is actually initially aggravated to hear Leo tried to tell Karai the truth. And he is kind of right to be. That's isn't exactly Leo's secret to tell, and Splinter undoubtedly wanted it to come from him first. Still, I like that he makes the best of it. Gonna nitpick something: the cat rooting through the garbage is the exact same design as Ice Cream Kitty before he was mutated. The show REALLY did not want to spend the money there and I noticed. The dimension to the 80's Toon Turtles means that this show is now canon with the original series, and by extension the 2003 series, by being a part of the Turtles multiverse as seen in Turtles Forever. We didn't really get to see how the different universes operated themselves in that anniversary movie, but this hints they are all wired through the 2012 series' Dimension X. Which might explain why we didn't see the 2012 Turtles in the Turtleverse montage (well, besides the fact that they hadn't been created yet). Fun stuff. ****.
The Manhattan Project: Part 2:
God bless Andrea Romano. Because Nickelodeon (unlike 4KidsTV) uses an actors' union, Romano was able to secure the original voices to the classic Turtles that "Turtles Forever" had to replace. It helps that Rob Paulson is already on the show (albeit voicing Donatello instead of Raphael). Donnie's one word reaction to Casey's "This looks like a job for Casey Jones!" was shared by me: "Ugh!". And what a slopppy roundabout way to give Splinter a "We did it". I love that April is amazed that Casey gets such great cell reception inside a giant worm. How they ended the episode with Karai overhearing the Turtles talk about her being Splinter's daughter without knowing she was there was probably the thing that made her believe them. They had no reason to lie amongst themselves, after all. Karai stopping Shredder from simply executing Splinter was cool because Tiger Claw called foul too. And how could Shredder object? He has cred to maintain, and him taking out Splinter so cowardly after being pointed out how unfair it was would get people talking. So his response is "Very well." All about appearances, our Shredhead is. The action sequence at the end was sweet, and Tiger Claw and Splinter had some great moves. Cool two-parter and great to see the classic Turtles again. ****1/2. Two Part Average: ****1/2.
Mazes & Mutants:
Critial Hit! Critial Fail. This seems to be stepping on Bat-Mite's toes a bit, especially since they had Paul Reubens voice Malachi. There were some things I liked though. I liked how aggravated Raph seemed throughout the entire thing. He seemed to be the only person aware of how stupid this episode is. And I'm gonna cry foul on his behalf. He can be forced to play a game by the other three voting that he should? What kind of messed up democracy is that? Jebus. Ice Cream Kitty in the freezer! Turkey Raph was hilarious. "Gobble gobble, son! Like a turkey do!" Donnie chillingly wondering where Captain Dash kept his hidden bazooka was gross and the Egg Bombs of Power were disgusting too (especially since they came with a farting noise). And Malachi makes probably the most embarrassing exit in the show's history. Not great. Best line goes to Mikey: "Dude! Solo LARP? That is SO sad!" Right? **1/2.
The Lonely Mutation Of Baxter Stockman:
As much guff as I throw at the Turtles for carelessly mutating Kirby O'Neill, I have to give them this: they went above and beyond in curing him. That was absolutely awesome how all out they went. I was never crazy about Stockman as a fly on the old show and this version is particularly disgusting. This says something interesting about Bradford: for all of his claims about loving his new mutation, he's full of it. He wants to be human again and always has. The Ace Duck picture showed exactly how dumb of an idea that character actually was. The Pig and Rhino references are no longer tips of the hats to Turtle fans, but actual foreshadowing to season three. I also laughed the the Turflytle Signal screen transitions. Excellent homage to Batman. I love that Raph was outraged that Mikey named his sidekick Maggot Boy. I also laughed that when Donnie falls hundreds of feet into a dumpster he recedes into his shell beforehand. Hee! Do you know what moment really got to me? When Rahzar goes into Stockman's lab and taunts that he wants to see what he's turned into. And I realized once again what an incredibly cruel character Bradford is. There is a reason he works for Shredder. Because he sucks. A great episode. ****1/2.
Newtralized!:
More Ice Cream Kitty in the freezer! It's officially a thing! I think one of the biggest mistakes of the CGI series is that they shifted the rivalry from Casey Jones and Raph to Casey Jones and Donnie. And Raph works MUCH better with Casey because they are more similar. This episode tries to fix that a little which is good. Here we get the first hints that Slash isn't all bad when he refuses to hurt innocent humans. Newtralizer saying "How could you, brother?" was provocative to me because that meant his friendship with Slash was genuine, at least on his end, and he wasn't planning on betraying him. That makes Slash deciding to side with the Turtles an even bigger deal than it would have otherwise been. Casey Jones always referring to himself in the third person is annoying beyond belief. I loved the slow-motion reaction shot of Newtralizer punching Donnie in the face as he sneaks a spy roach onto him. What an insane sentence. I love when Casey claims he's saved Raph's life before, Raph calls him it on to cite an example. Also cool was Mikey pointing that that Raph's antihuman rhetoric was idenitical to the Newtraziler's. I also thought Slash and Newtralizer's transporters were pretty spiffy too. Good episode. ****.
The Wrath Of Tiger Claw:
That fight scene at the end was superb. Totally worth the wait. I got goosebumps. Tiger Claw is such a great villain. He's actually competent, and even when he loses you can see why Shredder never punishes him: because he actually takes the job seriously. And who can argue with that? Eric Bauza's voice is magnificent. Listening to him narrate the flashback and talk about revenge made me realize how weird it is that he not only used to be Stimpy, but the lesser Stimpy at that. The end scene of Shredder and Karai was devastating too. You can see her entire world crumbling down once Splinter shows her the picture. I liked Mikey's inspirational speech being unintelligible due to a mouthful of food, and him surprising Raph with his excellent idea to triangulate the T Phones using a satellite. Tiger Claw chasing Casey was so awesome because Casey never seems to quite understand how outmatched and in trouble he actually is. He had the best line too: "April? Why'd you bring Irma? She's so nasty!" She totally is! I also laughed at Donnie making clear that Casey's rescue was the secondary part of the mission ("Time permitting"). Great episode. *****.
Pizza Face:
I still can't believe Jason Biggs left the show. What's that guy got going on besides screwing pies? That scene of April being wrapped in a calzone while Pizza Face sang Italian opera was somehow weirdly hilarious and horrific at the same time. Also sickening was Mikey eating his way out of Pizza Face from Pizza Face's STOMACH! Hardcore disgusting. He even has mozzarella sticking out of his mouth like an intestine. Speaking of, there appears to be a dead rat in Mikey's pizza. I wonder what Splinter thinks about that. And I love that when talking pizza gets locked in a freezer, Ice Cream Kitty suddenly becomes sinister. Another insane sentence. Best line goes to Pizza Face upon eating Mikey: "Now that's a spicy meatball!" I especially like Irma calling the pizza that fell off the truck "garbage pizza". And she's right. People on this show eat entirely too much food off of the street. Best outraged Mikey utterance was a tie between "Pizza who eats calzones. That. Is. SICK!" and "Pizza that eats you? My worst nightmare come true!" ***1/2.
The Legend Of The Kuro Kabuto:
This episode confirmed something American Dad proved years ago: J.B. Smoove is going to have a HUGE career in animation voice-over work. It is amazing how great his voice sounds coming out of various cartoon characters, here the proto-Bebop Anton Zeck. He doesn't seem to be able to modulate his voice the way Mark Hamill, Phil Lamarr, or Clancy Brown can, but he's the next big live-action actor to cross over to cartoon superstardom. Bank on it. I love that when Zeck tells Steranko to lick the Spear of Destiny, he does it without asking any further questions. That's nuts. And Shredder was great this episode. It was interesting to learn that he actually has a sense of honor about SOMETHING: his sacred helmet. That's cool. The flashback was amazing and I love it when the show does stuff like that. Do you know what else was honorable? Not even pretending he wasn't going to attack Leo when he gave him the helmet. Honestly, that's great because that's an unreasonable request from Leo at that point, and Shredder is pretty disgusted that Leo thinks he actually has the high ground by asking it. How dumb is that guy? I like Tiger Claw and Rahzar making small talk about the foolishness of bigotry between mutants. That was cool. And Tiger Claw still wants to eat Xever 'cause he's a fish. Tiger Claw's sense of smell is a little TOO amazing. He can tell Zeck is using eletronic devices to travel and that they are messing with the ozone? Okie dokie. I have to say I'm pretty annoyed that Raph still thinks rescuing Karai is a waste of time. Whatever they may think of her, she's still Splinter's daughter. He sounds like the jerk of the year for never taking that into consideration. Do you know what I loved? When the rest of the group gets trapped, Raph tells Leo to take the helmet and go. And he does! That's good teamwork, and shows that Leo knows Raph can handle the situation himself. Funniest bit was Fishface saying he hoped they got the helmet back so they wouldn't have to look at Shredder's gross face. That about sums it up. I like that Xever doesn't like or respect Shredder and is willing to say so out of earshot. Best line goes to Shredder (to Leo): "Why does the fly enter the spider's web?" Shredder is Zed! Cool episode. ****.
Plan 10:
I have to say, it was a little embarrassing how long it took the Turtles to cotton on that Raph had switched bodies. Especially since they already knew what the machine did. These are some stupid heroes. I think Casey's response to switching bodies with April was very true to life, even if more G-rated than Farscape's version of John Crichton quickly masturbating upon becoming Aeryn. The first thing a person in that situation would do is check out the equipment. Where the episode failed is not realizing that in real-life April would be doing the exact same thing! It's not simply creepy behavior on Casey's part. It's human curiousity and I don't really see anything wrong with it. Raph's funny little noises as he ran around the ground as a brain were cute too. Very Zoidberg. I love that Casey hates dubbed anime and prefers subtitles. That's pretty much the last thing I expected him to be a snob about. I like a lot of this episode, but I think as usual, the Turtles are dumber than they should be. My favorite part of the episode is that no matter what line he delivers, the Kraang in Raph's body always looks as if he is completely bored by this adventure. Which makes it funny. ***.
Vengeance Is Mine:
I am annoyed at Shredder. Because that was entirely his fault. Even if mutating the Turtles into snakes was a good idea on paper, it was a terrible idea to put Karai in such unnecessary danger to do it. Because if that was his plan, he didn't need to do that. Now he'll blame Splinter and the Turtles for another problem that was entirely of his own making. Which is pathetic. Things I liked? I liked the fact that at the beginning Splinter sternly tells Leo NOT to make a rescue attempt, and even throws a little guilt his way by saying it puts his daughter in danger, and the rest of the group asks Leo if that's it, and Leo's instantly like "Nah, Splinter's wrong." What I especially love about that moment is that Splinter IS wrong. I also loved Splinter calling himself a fool for telling Karai too much too quickly. I can sort of agree with his anger as his stupidity there. That was not smart. I loved Karai giving him a big hug. That was sweet. I enjoyed seeing Karai enjoy the brothers' training session, because you could tell there is serious regret behind the delight on her face. She could have always had this, and instead was trained by a sociopath like Shredder who always surrounded himself with total aholes. Even if he said he was her family, he never was able to treat her much like that. Best moment was probably "How did you get past Tiger Claw?" "They didn't!" I think "Karai is mutated into a snake" was probably the second mostly ill-advised plot turn of the second season after Kirby-Bat, and is STILL hasn't been resolved. The episode itself was good though. ****.
A Chinatown Ghost Story:
I loved Casey remembering he was supposed to be concerned for Irma too, but still not having the heart to be enthused about it. Ho Chan saying Irma had unexplained power was great foreshadowing. I can't believe I missed that. I also love that Chan absolutely loves being in pain because it is the first sensation he's felt in centuries. That makes sense. I also like how he calls the four Purple Dragons he raises into Elementals "Moron", "Stupid Idiot", and "Numbskull". Him mistaking April's yellow T-shirt for a jumpsuit in his vision was funny too. Best bit was probably the fact that Mikey's belch used his wind Elemental power. Hilarious. Pretty good. ***1/2.
Into Dimension X!:
I love Mikey flinging Leatherhead through the portal. Because as admirable as Leatherhead's self-sacrificing nature is, he doesn't have to do it EVERY single dang time. There was no reason for him to give his life up for the Turtles in that moment, so Mikey just refused to let him. I loved the reaction on Leo's face to Leatherhead throwing him, and that Leatherhead got to be a part of the high five at the end. Leatherhead's fight at the beginning with the Kraang was tight too. Leatherhead's orders? Crush Kraang! A lot! I also love that the last thing Raph does before they escape is kick a Kraang brain. I have always loved the simple straw-like designs of the filtration units, and was SO glad to see they made it to the 2012 show. My one complaint is that the idea that Mikey is a genius in a backwards dimension does not hold up to scrutiny. There isn't an actual logic behind it. But's it's a kids cartoon so I'll get over it. I think the moment where Mikey realizes that if the Kraang turn Earth into another Dimension X he'll be a genius there too is interesting because it means if the bad guys win, so does Mikey. And I kind of like how appalled Donnie was at Mikey wistfully realizing that, and taking that as the one mildly positive thing to come out of this. A nit: Why does Donnie appear in Dimension X at the same time as Leo and Raph? Just as much time passed between him entering the portal after them as after they did after Mikey, so he should have arrived months later too. For the record, I DO forgive the idea of Leatherhead only being in the dimension a few decades when he's been gone from our world for over a year. Why? Even though the time differential is inconsistent with how the Turtles arrived, one of the defining characteristics of Dimension X in inconsistency, so the idea that there are variations in time lapses at various entry points makes sense. It just doesn't in the Turtles' case. Best gag was when the final Turtle goes through the portal to Dimension X, the device holding the portal open falls down and breaks. I always loved that joke whenever Angel did it, and it was funny here too. ****.
The Invasion: Part 1:
"Fooled you! Fooled you ALL!" Irma as evil mega Kraangdroid voiced by Gilbert Gottfriend? Yes! Yes, God! Yes! A thousand times YES! Sometimes? Sometime this show knows what it is doing. Things of note: Tiger Claw says that Leonardo fights bravely. Tiger Claw also was insightful in the beginning in telling Shredder that "You know the Kraang are going to betray you, right?" It wasn't just a warning. It was sensible and friendly advice. Which Saki ignores because at this point he hates humanity too. I loved Raph setting the limit with Casey at the beginning that as far as April is concerned, he's Team Donnie. I was also amazed at April's line "Stop talking Donnie. It makes it hurt more." That probably had more layers to it than any other line in the entire series. It was a perfect note and great for both of those characters. I have to say that Donnie shouldn't be blaming himself for having to leave Splinter and Leo behind. It was entirely April's fault. It is to all of the Turtles' credit that they don't hold what happened to their lair, and by extension Leo and Splinter, over her head the way she did her father's mutation theirs. Even Raph doesn't complain about it in season three. Although considering her father is remutated in the next episode, maybe they just think she's been punished enough. I love this episode. *****.
The Invasion: Part 2:
That. Was. DIRE! Big stuff! Where to begin? Leatherhead comes out of nowhere to save Splinter's life (twice!). When he starting snapping Shredder's torso in his jaws I jumped up and shouted. The DVD was worth every cent I paid for it just for that. And then? Shredder and Splinter's fight turns out to be even more awesome than that! Splinter flings the dude across the room using two fingers! And Raph's uncontrollable rage at Shredder for what he did to Splinter was shared by me. Shredder is a bad dude. He refuses to face Leo because he says he's beneath him, but still wants to make him suffer. I kind of miss the subtext of the comic book of half dead Leo crashing through the window, when everything is going so nicely at Christmas, but making things already terrible worked just as well for entirely different reasons. Instead of pure shock and horror, it's absolute misery and resignation. I love that Karai saved Splinter at the end. The Party Wagon! What a debut! I loved April being even more annoyed than I was at Kirby being mutated again (although this time she has only herself to blame). Leo's shell is cracked! Biggest revelation for me is the idea that the Kraang mutated a bunch of monkeys a million years ago and that is where the human race comes from! I love that! Do you know what else is awesome? The Earth Protection Force! It's like the entire world has this huge story going on in the background that the Turtles are just around the edges of and you realize this is the first time they've been confronted with it. It makes the world seem even bigger than it is. And Casey Jones coming out of nowhere at the end and smacking down Kraang Prime with the Party Wagon was sweet! Mikey comforting Raph and bringing him to his senses was so moving to me because he is the most senseless Turtle. He had some wisdom for a moment and I won't dismiss that. This is the best episode of the series. The season mostly sucked but it went out on the highest of high notes. *****. Two Part Average: *****.
The Mutation Of A Scene:
The Manhattan Project: Tiger Claw fight scenes are always awesome, but I wish we had seen the animatic for the classic 2-D Turtles. ****.
Mazes & Mutants: Best line is Mikey's "Like a turkey do" riff. ***.
The Lonely Mutation Of Baxter Stockman: That climax is still amazing. *****.
Newtralized: Still can't believe Corey Feldman is Slash. Danny Trejo is unrecognizable as Newtralizer too. ***1/2.
The Wrath Of Tiger Claw: One of my favorite Tiger Claw fights. The fact that there is very little music makes the proceedings ominous and the body blows land extra heavy. And if you don't shudder when you see the meat fall into the grinder you have a stronger stomach than me. *****.
Pizza Face: Still disgusting and I mean that as the highest compliment. But this scene points out a plot hole. Why when the rest of the Turtles eat the pizza do they become mind controlled, but Mikey is simply able to destroy the pizza by doing so? I like that when Mikey burps in triumph at the end, all of the windows in the building shatter. That sounds about right. ****.
The Legend Of The Kuro Kabuto: The lighting effects on Zeck have always been amazing. And Buzzkill would have been a perfect name for Fly Stockman. ****.
Plan 10: Raph doesn't want to have to fight such a good looking Turtle. It doesn't make much sense that a Kraang would be willing to destroy his own body, but the Kraang are, and always have been, dimwits. ***.
Vengeance Is Mine: At least that wasn't Mikey's water-balloon throwing arm. Loved Donnie coming out of nowhere to save the day in the Shellraiser. And the storyboard animatic of the sword in the van's roof nearly missing Karai is actually better than the actual CGI final animation. ****.
A Chinatown Ghost Story: After learning what we did in the season finale about the Kraang's guiding hand of human evolution, I can now safely say Ho Chan's story of a Turtle God creating to the world is bogus. And how dumb is Casey for trying to grab the wheel from Donnie during the chase scene? Is he old enough to drive yet? Does he even know how? That makes about as much sense as a 12 year old trying to grab the wheel as his mother drives because she wasn't going fast enough. ***.
Into Dimension X!: If the episode wanted to teach us the lesson to beware of cute things, THAT was quite an effective way to do it. CGI explosions look weird in primary animatics. And how does Leatherhead know the phrase "pain in the @$$"? Where would he have learned that from? Also cool was Donnie's observation of why the Kraang wanted to invade Earth: their dimension stinks! ***1/2.
The Invasion: Part 1: Evil Gottfreid Irma is evil! Go Ice Cream Kitty! *****.
The Invasion: Part 2: This scene is still crazy. *****.
Channel 6 News Special Report: Ooze-Gate 2014:
Another faux news broadcast short hosted by (appropriately) Joan Grody. Poor Scrappy the hamster. He just went to a better place. Loved the reference to the kids network and slime considering who owns the Ninja Turtles. I see what Nick did there. ****.
DVD Menu: First 2012 Menu that isn't animated. **1/2.
Upcoming reviews include Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, Inside Out (Blu-Ray), Toy Story That Time Forgot (Blu-Ray), Phineas And Ferb: Star Wars, Star Wars Rebels: Season 1, Lego Star Wars: The New Yoda Chronicles, Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: Justice League: Attack Of The Legion Of Doom, Batman Unlimited: Monster Mayhem, Teen Titans Go!: House Pests, Arrow: Season 3, The Flash: Season 1, Gotham: Season 1, iZombie: Season 1, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Retreat!, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Return To NYC!, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014), Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, Mr. Peabody & Sherman, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Doctor Who: Dark Water / Death In Heaven, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Tremor 5: Bloodlines, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), Grimm: Season 4, and Mulholland Dr..
Heroes Reborn "June 13th, Part 1"
Man, I knew Monhinder was stupid. I knew Mohinder was a patsy. I knew he was a sap. But it's hard to believe he is THAT big of a stupid, sappy, patsy. Wow. No respect left. Gone. And I never had much.
Erica is probably the most evil villain the show has ever created. Even Sylar wasn't into genocide. I cannot wait for Noah to take her down.
We still didn't learn why Molly was afraid of HRG. Maybe next week?
Aaah! Christine Rose! Angela Petrelli was the second best character from the old show after Molly Walker. Rose always killed it and she did again tonight.
Childbirth is the only plausible excuse for Clair's death. But it still felt totally wrong for Noah to be kissing the sheet covering her face. NBC did itself no favors in the promos either. But this is the first episode that doesn't work because Hayden Panettiere is unavailable. The previous episodes were able to wing it. Not this time.
Matt Parkman next week. Looks good. ****.
Haven "Wild Card"
Just based on the voice, either Vince or Dave is Audrey's father and the Big Bad of the entire series. It's sounds like Dave, but has Vince's inflections and gravel. I think it's Dave. Just because this stuff has been eating him alive and it would be cool if he wasn't even AWARE he was Mr. Hyde.
But that doesn't answer the question as to why Charlotte wouldn't have recognized him in the town earlier. Shape-changer maybe? Not unprecedented.
Duke's stuff is going to be awesome next. week. Haven ALWAYS pays off any potential gamechanger cliffhanger or almost revelation with an actual gamechanger or revelation. Next week is gonna be sweet. ****1/2.
Grimm "The Grimm Identity"
Here is my opinion. Grimm is at its best when everyone is comparing notes, learning secrets and dealing with the fall-out of big moments. So this should have been a classic.
But it's not. Because Nick is dealing with so much he can barely muster emotion when telling his friends Juliet is dead. Rosalee's horrified reaction in the correct one. And I don't blame Nick exactly but the writers who filled his plate beyond reason.
And seeing Nick hold his rape baby is nowhere near as touching as it would be if the writers hadn't made that the precise reason Adalind got pregnant.
This series is in trouble and no amount of "They're coming" will save it. **1/2.
Bones "The Resurrection In The Remains"
I do not watch Bones. I saw the Pilot a decade ago and this episode, and that's as far as it goes for my knowledge of the franchise. But I can safely say that if I were a Bones fan and saw this, I'd be upset. Heck, I'd probably be upset even if I also followed Sleepy Hollow. I think while this crossover was great for Sleepy Hollow, it sort of completely wrecks the credibility of Bones. It's not like Bones could NEVER interact with a genre show. I doubt I would raise an eyebrow if Mulder and Scully showed up. Because their genre involves science. But Sleepy Hollow is a specific kind of genre show: the Biblical fantasy. And this episode pretty much says that Bones is an atheist. And I'm betting this is one of the core tenants of the characters. She's the skeptic, and Booth is the believer as far as I can tell from this episode.
So what does making Sleepy Hollow canon do? It makes her wrong. Unambiguously wrong. In a show whose meet cute between the two leads is predicated on Bones being a fact based know-it-all, the show just said she has no idea what she is talking about. This is a science based show. Faith based fantasy is absolutely the wrong genre to mix it with it. The arguments between Booth and Bones are the show's selling point. They shouldn't actually give a definite answer as to who is right for the viewer's sake. That's part of the fun. Which it just destroyed. Heck, both shows will probably get a raise in ratings for a week. But I think the episode just completely destroyed Bones. Maybe I'm misreading thing. Maybe the show isn't as intractable as I think Brennan is making it sound during the episode. But I don't think I am.
But this episode settled something for me. Whatever else Temperance Brennan is (genius, mad-woman) her encouraging Crane to have sex with Abbie after knowing him for all of five minutes means one thing: Bones is totally gross. If a balding, creepy, middle-aged dude said that, we'd call the police. But somehow the show thinks that because Bones looks like Emily Deschanel, she should get a pass for disgusting behavior. Which tells me I probably wouldn't like this show on a weekly basis.
As a Sleepy Hollow crossover: ****. As a Bones episode: 0.
Sleepy Hollow "Dead Men Tell No Tales"
This episode did something right. It had Booth simply shoot the puzzle. I think Abbie has gotten so used to Crane, that she overthinks things that she doesn't need to. Guns will still work in most situations. A puzzle box from the 18th Century will probably not hold up against a 21st Century glock. Just sayin'.
The other thing I adored about the episode was the cliffhanger. Because there was nothing supernatural about it. Abbie got herself into a huge fix by her supernatural job interfering with her real-life one. And she is totally busted. I can't wait for next week. ****.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine "Halloween III"
I like that Amy won, but I hope she isn't part of the contest next year. It's funnier when it is just Jake and Holt. But unlike the other mysteries of the previous Halloweens, it was obvious she was the janitor and that the elevator worked.
I loved both of them screaming into her breasts. At least the Captain has enough shame to apologize for "cleavage". That was perhaps the creepiest thing Holt has ever said. I love how seriously he reiterated to Terry NOT to get him a soda.
That's why you throw garbage away, Jake. How are he and Amy together? I love him proposing to her as a tactic to win. "I know we've never said we loved each other but I'm feeling it in this moment." That was literally the first time Jake told her he loved her. And he can't undo that. LOL!
What's interesting about Jake and Holt not wanting to choose Amy is that it made complete sense that each would think she was on the other's side. And I love that they were both so self-unaware that they couldn't tell how much they were genuinely hurting her. So funny.
Gina and Charles was funny too. Nadia is his girlfriend's twin! NOOOOO!!!
Honestly? Not as good as the first two Halloweens, just because it was entirely predictable. I didn't expect Jake to win the first one, or Holt to win the next, but I knew it was Amy pretty early on. Oh well. ***1/2.
Family Guy "Peternormal Activity"
That "Well pass along your gross request to Mila Kunis" joke is one of those Sethverse jokes like Star Trek II: Edited for Goats that I cannot stop laughing at. Literally. I was having a hard time for five minutes after that following the episode because I was laughing so hard. The episode is getting four and a half stars just for that.
Cool they got John Mellancamp to voiced himself for the crazy song.
I do not think what Stewie did with the baseball bat was out of line. That is the exact response Brian's glasses deserved. Why that woman didn't kick him in the balls for saying "I like your boobs" I'll never know.
Meg's "Why are you cutting away to me? I didn't do anything! What are they saying I did?" shows exactly how abused this poor character is.
So that joke pretty much sold me the episode. ****1/2.
The Last Man On Earth "Crickets"
I loved it. I love that as sorry as Todd is, he still gets punished. Which is the correct moral. And I think he'll be able to repair with Melissa. But I'm glad he realized Phil 1 is genuine about trying to make amends. And of course Melissa goes to Todd for the real story because she knows he will tell the truth in that moment. Which is cool.
I had a feeling it was food-hoarding Todd was doing and I'm glad I was right. I can forgive him for this. I love that he forgave Phil 1 too. I would have in his position too.
What the food thing tells me is they should be searching around the country for more food that is good. What about bomb shelters stacked with grub that lasts for decades? They don't need to be eating crickets if they were more resourceful.
I loved Erica sticking up for Carol in the end. And Carol knew just how big a moment that was. Phil 2 is pretty obnoxious in my mind. He doesn't deserve Carol.
Great episode. Last week worried me but this show always does that. Which is why it is my obsession. *****.
Minority Report "Fiddler's Neck"
Passable but unmemorable. It was nice to get some development for Agatha, but we didn't really learn anything new about her. So-so. **1/2.
The Blacklist "Arioch Cain"
The first thing that jumps out at me is the way Red killed Vargas. After the crisis was resolved, it was the very first thing he did. He did it wordlessly and did not waste an ounce of comforting quips on him. He did not deserve Red's grace in his final moments. He was unworthy of it.
The second thing is Red stating that he doesn't do 12 step programs because he refuses to believe in a higher being more powerful than himself. That's Biblical, deep, epic, funny, insightful, and I bet, true. He is also the kind of guy who shoots poachers. I love that.
Tom is gonna turn out to be the best friend that couple could ever have. They just don't know it yet.
I am a little uncomfortable that the girl who orchestrated the hit in the first place did not have to deal with any negative consequences for it. That was planning a first degree murder. Instead she gets a wistful moment with Liz. How is anything she did in the episode different than what Vargas was killed for? I get that she's a cute white girl, and Red and Liz aren't the police, but that kid should be doing serious jailtime.
Amir won't hug Ressler again. Big mistake.
I am a little bit surprised how well Liz on the run is sustaining itself for so long. It still doesn't feel forced or as if the show is spinning it's wheels. It's just another cool story arc. ****.
Black Jesus "Thy Neighbor's Strife"
What is astonishing to me about Vic is how deeply held his Christian beliefs are since he is shunning the actual Jesus. Ironically, Jesus is the type of dude who tells Vic he is one of his favorite people. I think Jesus has bad taste.
Going to Reverend Otis for spiritual guidance is exactly why Vic will never get any better. Otis' "I pay myself" pretty much sums up why I turned my back on Christianity. This is basically the bull conservative preachers are always going on about and why freaks like the Duggars are automatically forgiven. It's a racket an always has been. Part of the reason I became an agnostic isn't simply because I started embracing science. It was more like I slowly began to realize I was surrounded by absolutely terrible people and that told me something.
Otis telling Vic he would have called the police if he killed somebody states another interesting truth that I've only heard King of the Hill explore before. The sanctity of a confession to a priest / reverend is only as sacred as the preacher in question. No guarantees he won't screw you over if you spook him. That a priest will NEVER sell you out is always true on TV, but I'm betting is WAY more flexible in real life. I think in real life the only people you can count on a priest definitely having their back legally are other priests.
I love the idea of Jesus as rock star and that when they prayed for him, he showed up. I have to say I kind of really hate Boonie and how free he is the with the B word. He really has no license to call a woman that and nobody but Jesus is correcting him. Boonie is often lovable but when Ms. Tudi isn't raining her wrath upon him he is often quite an ugly stereotype of a character. And that's all he was this week.
I didn't love this episode but I didn't hate it either. **1/2.
Fargo "The Myth Of Sisyphus"
Few thoughts about that:
1. Eddie and Peggy are not getting out of the season alive. That ending told me for the first time that they were in MUCH bigger trouble than I even suspected. Jail is not their primary concern. The Gayrhearts killing them is. And they were willing to kill Skip over typewriters.
2. Borrowing money from the mob for typewriters seems like the single lamest and looniest way to get into debt. I mean, Skip is SUCH a loser, that he doesn't quite realize how stupid he is for playing life and death stakes over something as dumb as typewriters. How stupid is Skip? They tell him to lie down in the hole and he does. That actually depressed me.
3. Mike Milligan is absolutely amazingly insightful. He says that the people from Minnesota are actually UNFRIENDLY but the weird thing is that they are polite about it. As if they are actually doing you a favor. That was awesome. I'm betting Mike survives the season. He is aware about how people work in a way a nihilist like Lorn Malvo wasn't. I'm starting to think Lorne only got as far as he did because nobody pushed back against him for so long. But Milligan already knows how to handle himself and he seems to be getting it from all sides.
Last week was better than the first and this week was better than the last. ***1/2.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Showdown In Dimension X
A 2 disc set of the second half of the second season.
I have to say, even though season two is hands-down the worst season of the show, it pretty much ends perfectly on a high note the series never achieved before. The first half of the season being filled with what I call the Three Stooges (Donnie, Raph, Leo) and Roger Rabbit (Mikey) sucked. But the show took things to the next level in the dire season finale (The Invasion). It is the finest thing the series ever produced, and the finest Turtle production since the debut of Bishop in the 2003 4KidsTV series. It is magnificent. Other great episodes are "The Manhattan Project" (A.K.A. Wormquake!), the one where the Turtles actually did GOOD for once (The Lonely Mutation Of Baxter Stockman), and the amazing fight scenes of "The Wrath Of Tiger Claw".
Funnily enough, even though this IS the worst season, there is a definite lack of outright terrible episodes on this particular set. The weakest is "Mazes and Mutants" but every episode here gets at least two and a half stars or higher. Set Overall: ****1/2. Season Overall: **1/2.
The Manhattan Project: Part 1:
A.K.A. "Wormquake!". Unleash the Krithatricon! Tiger Claw isn't quite an Ice Cream Kitty level of awesomesauce, but he is still a welcome addition to the Turtles franchise. I forgot that he wasn't wearing his trademark eyepatch in his first appearance. I like that the first thing Shredder does upon seeing Bradford is tell him how terrible he looks. That pretty much got the entire issue out of the way and settled in a clever put-down. I also love that Tiger Claw immediately disparages the Foot as unworthy allies and Shredder lets him get away with it. That shows that Shredder takes him VERY seriously as an asset. Karai would never get away with that. The fact that Tiger Claw does scares me. I also love that when he drinks milk out of a mug, he laps it up with his tongue like a cat. The Cheese Phone is beyond corny. I refuse to say cheesy because that's frickin' enough. I am amused that Splinter is actually initially aggravated to hear Leo tried to tell Karai the truth. And he is kind of right to be. That's isn't exactly Leo's secret to tell, and Splinter undoubtedly wanted it to come from him first. Still, I like that he makes the best of it. Gonna nitpick something: the cat rooting through the garbage is the exact same design as Ice Cream Kitty before he was mutated. The show REALLY did not want to spend the money there and I noticed. The dimension to the 80's Toon Turtles means that this show is now canon with the original series, and by extension the 2003 series, by being a part of the Turtles multiverse as seen in Turtles Forever. We didn't really get to see how the different universes operated themselves in that anniversary movie, but this hints they are all wired through the 2012 series' Dimension X. Which might explain why we didn't see the 2012 Turtles in the Turtleverse montage (well, besides the fact that they hadn't been created yet). Fun stuff. ****.
The Manhattan Project: Part 2:
God bless Andrea Romano. Because Nickelodeon (unlike 4KidsTV) uses an actors' union, Romano was able to secure the original voices to the classic Turtles that "Turtles Forever" had to replace. It helps that Rob Paulson is already on the show (albeit voicing Donatello instead of Raphael). Donnie's one word reaction to Casey's "This looks like a job for Casey Jones!" was shared by me: "Ugh!". And what a slopppy roundabout way to give Splinter a "We did it". I love that April is amazed that Casey gets such great cell reception inside a giant worm. How they ended the episode with Karai overhearing the Turtles talk about her being Splinter's daughter without knowing she was there was probably the thing that made her believe them. They had no reason to lie amongst themselves, after all. Karai stopping Shredder from simply executing Splinter was cool because Tiger Claw called foul too. And how could Shredder object? He has cred to maintain, and him taking out Splinter so cowardly after being pointed out how unfair it was would get people talking. So his response is "Very well." All about appearances, our Shredhead is. The action sequence at the end was sweet, and Tiger Claw and Splinter had some great moves. Cool two-parter and great to see the classic Turtles again. ****1/2. Two Part Average: ****1/2.
Mazes & Mutants:
Critial Hit! Critial Fail. This seems to be stepping on Bat-Mite's toes a bit, especially since they had Paul Reubens voice Malachi. There were some things I liked though. I liked how aggravated Raph seemed throughout the entire thing. He seemed to be the only person aware of how stupid this episode is. And I'm gonna cry foul on his behalf. He can be forced to play a game by the other three voting that he should? What kind of messed up democracy is that? Jebus. Ice Cream Kitty in the freezer! Turkey Raph was hilarious. "Gobble gobble, son! Like a turkey do!" Donnie chillingly wondering where Captain Dash kept his hidden bazooka was gross and the Egg Bombs of Power were disgusting too (especially since they came with a farting noise). And Malachi makes probably the most embarrassing exit in the show's history. Not great. Best line goes to Mikey: "Dude! Solo LARP? That is SO sad!" Right? **1/2.
The Lonely Mutation Of Baxter Stockman:
As much guff as I throw at the Turtles for carelessly mutating Kirby O'Neill, I have to give them this: they went above and beyond in curing him. That was absolutely awesome how all out they went. I was never crazy about Stockman as a fly on the old show and this version is particularly disgusting. This says something interesting about Bradford: for all of his claims about loving his new mutation, he's full of it. He wants to be human again and always has. The Ace Duck picture showed exactly how dumb of an idea that character actually was. The Pig and Rhino references are no longer tips of the hats to Turtle fans, but actual foreshadowing to season three. I also laughed the the Turflytle Signal screen transitions. Excellent homage to Batman. I love that Raph was outraged that Mikey named his sidekick Maggot Boy. I also laughed that when Donnie falls hundreds of feet into a dumpster he recedes into his shell beforehand. Hee! Do you know what moment really got to me? When Rahzar goes into Stockman's lab and taunts that he wants to see what he's turned into. And I realized once again what an incredibly cruel character Bradford is. There is a reason he works for Shredder. Because he sucks. A great episode. ****1/2.
Newtralized!:
More Ice Cream Kitty in the freezer! It's officially a thing! I think one of the biggest mistakes of the CGI series is that they shifted the rivalry from Casey Jones and Raph to Casey Jones and Donnie. And Raph works MUCH better with Casey because they are more similar. This episode tries to fix that a little which is good. Here we get the first hints that Slash isn't all bad when he refuses to hurt innocent humans. Newtralizer saying "How could you, brother?" was provocative to me because that meant his friendship with Slash was genuine, at least on his end, and he wasn't planning on betraying him. That makes Slash deciding to side with the Turtles an even bigger deal than it would have otherwise been. Casey Jones always referring to himself in the third person is annoying beyond belief. I loved the slow-motion reaction shot of Newtralizer punching Donnie in the face as he sneaks a spy roach onto him. What an insane sentence. I love when Casey claims he's saved Raph's life before, Raph calls him it on to cite an example. Also cool was Mikey pointing that that Raph's antihuman rhetoric was idenitical to the Newtraziler's. I also thought Slash and Newtralizer's transporters were pretty spiffy too. Good episode. ****.
The Wrath Of Tiger Claw:
That fight scene at the end was superb. Totally worth the wait. I got goosebumps. Tiger Claw is such a great villain. He's actually competent, and even when he loses you can see why Shredder never punishes him: because he actually takes the job seriously. And who can argue with that? Eric Bauza's voice is magnificent. Listening to him narrate the flashback and talk about revenge made me realize how weird it is that he not only used to be Stimpy, but the lesser Stimpy at that. The end scene of Shredder and Karai was devastating too. You can see her entire world crumbling down once Splinter shows her the picture. I liked Mikey's inspirational speech being unintelligible due to a mouthful of food, and him surprising Raph with his excellent idea to triangulate the T Phones using a satellite. Tiger Claw chasing Casey was so awesome because Casey never seems to quite understand how outmatched and in trouble he actually is. He had the best line too: "April? Why'd you bring Irma? She's so nasty!" She totally is! I also laughed at Donnie making clear that Casey's rescue was the secondary part of the mission ("Time permitting"). Great episode. *****.
Pizza Face:
I still can't believe Jason Biggs left the show. What's that guy got going on besides screwing pies? That scene of April being wrapped in a calzone while Pizza Face sang Italian opera was somehow weirdly hilarious and horrific at the same time. Also sickening was Mikey eating his way out of Pizza Face from Pizza Face's STOMACH! Hardcore disgusting. He even has mozzarella sticking out of his mouth like an intestine. Speaking of, there appears to be a dead rat in Mikey's pizza. I wonder what Splinter thinks about that. And I love that when talking pizza gets locked in a freezer, Ice Cream Kitty suddenly becomes sinister. Another insane sentence. Best line goes to Pizza Face upon eating Mikey: "Now that's a spicy meatball!" I especially like Irma calling the pizza that fell off the truck "garbage pizza". And she's right. People on this show eat entirely too much food off of the street. Best outraged Mikey utterance was a tie between "Pizza who eats calzones. That. Is. SICK!" and "Pizza that eats you? My worst nightmare come true!" ***1/2.
The Legend Of The Kuro Kabuto:
This episode confirmed something American Dad proved years ago: J.B. Smoove is going to have a HUGE career in animation voice-over work. It is amazing how great his voice sounds coming out of various cartoon characters, here the proto-Bebop Anton Zeck. He doesn't seem to be able to modulate his voice the way Mark Hamill, Phil Lamarr, or Clancy Brown can, but he's the next big live-action actor to cross over to cartoon superstardom. Bank on it. I love that when Zeck tells Steranko to lick the Spear of Destiny, he does it without asking any further questions. That's nuts. And Shredder was great this episode. It was interesting to learn that he actually has a sense of honor about SOMETHING: his sacred helmet. That's cool. The flashback was amazing and I love it when the show does stuff like that. Do you know what else was honorable? Not even pretending he wasn't going to attack Leo when he gave him the helmet. Honestly, that's great because that's an unreasonable request from Leo at that point, and Shredder is pretty disgusted that Leo thinks he actually has the high ground by asking it. How dumb is that guy? I like Tiger Claw and Rahzar making small talk about the foolishness of bigotry between mutants. That was cool. And Tiger Claw still wants to eat Xever 'cause he's a fish. Tiger Claw's sense of smell is a little TOO amazing. He can tell Zeck is using eletronic devices to travel and that they are messing with the ozone? Okie dokie. I have to say I'm pretty annoyed that Raph still thinks rescuing Karai is a waste of time. Whatever they may think of her, she's still Splinter's daughter. He sounds like the jerk of the year for never taking that into consideration. Do you know what I loved? When the rest of the group gets trapped, Raph tells Leo to take the helmet and go. And he does! That's good teamwork, and shows that Leo knows Raph can handle the situation himself. Funniest bit was Fishface saying he hoped they got the helmet back so they wouldn't have to look at Shredder's gross face. That about sums it up. I like that Xever doesn't like or respect Shredder and is willing to say so out of earshot. Best line goes to Shredder (to Leo): "Why does the fly enter the spider's web?" Shredder is Zed! Cool episode. ****.
Plan 10:
I have to say, it was a little embarrassing how long it took the Turtles to cotton on that Raph had switched bodies. Especially since they already knew what the machine did. These are some stupid heroes. I think Casey's response to switching bodies with April was very true to life, even if more G-rated than Farscape's version of John Crichton quickly masturbating upon becoming Aeryn. The first thing a person in that situation would do is check out the equipment. Where the episode failed is not realizing that in real-life April would be doing the exact same thing! It's not simply creepy behavior on Casey's part. It's human curiousity and I don't really see anything wrong with it. Raph's funny little noises as he ran around the ground as a brain were cute too. Very Zoidberg. I love that Casey hates dubbed anime and prefers subtitles. That's pretty much the last thing I expected him to be a snob about. I like a lot of this episode, but I think as usual, the Turtles are dumber than they should be. My favorite part of the episode is that no matter what line he delivers, the Kraang in Raph's body always looks as if he is completely bored by this adventure. Which makes it funny. ***.
Vengeance Is Mine:
I am annoyed at Shredder. Because that was entirely his fault. Even if mutating the Turtles into snakes was a good idea on paper, it was a terrible idea to put Karai in such unnecessary danger to do it. Because if that was his plan, he didn't need to do that. Now he'll blame Splinter and the Turtles for another problem that was entirely of his own making. Which is pathetic. Things I liked? I liked the fact that at the beginning Splinter sternly tells Leo NOT to make a rescue attempt, and even throws a little guilt his way by saying it puts his daughter in danger, and the rest of the group asks Leo if that's it, and Leo's instantly like "Nah, Splinter's wrong." What I especially love about that moment is that Splinter IS wrong. I also loved Splinter calling himself a fool for telling Karai too much too quickly. I can sort of agree with his anger as his stupidity there. That was not smart. I loved Karai giving him a big hug. That was sweet. I enjoyed seeing Karai enjoy the brothers' training session, because you could tell there is serious regret behind the delight on her face. She could have always had this, and instead was trained by a sociopath like Shredder who always surrounded himself with total aholes. Even if he said he was her family, he never was able to treat her much like that. Best moment was probably "How did you get past Tiger Claw?" "They didn't!" I think "Karai is mutated into a snake" was probably the second mostly ill-advised plot turn of the second season after Kirby-Bat, and is STILL hasn't been resolved. The episode itself was good though. ****.
A Chinatown Ghost Story:
I loved Casey remembering he was supposed to be concerned for Irma too, but still not having the heart to be enthused about it. Ho Chan saying Irma had unexplained power was great foreshadowing. I can't believe I missed that. I also love that Chan absolutely loves being in pain because it is the first sensation he's felt in centuries. That makes sense. I also like how he calls the four Purple Dragons he raises into Elementals "Moron", "Stupid Idiot", and "Numbskull". Him mistaking April's yellow T-shirt for a jumpsuit in his vision was funny too. Best bit was probably the fact that Mikey's belch used his wind Elemental power. Hilarious. Pretty good. ***1/2.
Into Dimension X!:
I love Mikey flinging Leatherhead through the portal. Because as admirable as Leatherhead's self-sacrificing nature is, he doesn't have to do it EVERY single dang time. There was no reason for him to give his life up for the Turtles in that moment, so Mikey just refused to let him. I loved the reaction on Leo's face to Leatherhead throwing him, and that Leatherhead got to be a part of the high five at the end. Leatherhead's fight at the beginning with the Kraang was tight too. Leatherhead's orders? Crush Kraang! A lot! I also love that the last thing Raph does before they escape is kick a Kraang brain. I have always loved the simple straw-like designs of the filtration units, and was SO glad to see they made it to the 2012 show. My one complaint is that the idea that Mikey is a genius in a backwards dimension does not hold up to scrutiny. There isn't an actual logic behind it. But's it's a kids cartoon so I'll get over it. I think the moment where Mikey realizes that if the Kraang turn Earth into another Dimension X he'll be a genius there too is interesting because it means if the bad guys win, so does Mikey. And I kind of like how appalled Donnie was at Mikey wistfully realizing that, and taking that as the one mildly positive thing to come out of this. A nit: Why does Donnie appear in Dimension X at the same time as Leo and Raph? Just as much time passed between him entering the portal after them as after they did after Mikey, so he should have arrived months later too. For the record, I DO forgive the idea of Leatherhead only being in the dimension a few decades when he's been gone from our world for over a year. Why? Even though the time differential is inconsistent with how the Turtles arrived, one of the defining characteristics of Dimension X in inconsistency, so the idea that there are variations in time lapses at various entry points makes sense. It just doesn't in the Turtles' case. Best gag was when the final Turtle goes through the portal to Dimension X, the device holding the portal open falls down and breaks. I always loved that joke whenever Angel did it, and it was funny here too. ****.
The Invasion: Part 1:
"Fooled you! Fooled you ALL!" Irma as evil mega Kraangdroid voiced by Gilbert Gottfriend? Yes! Yes, God! Yes! A thousand times YES! Sometimes? Sometime this show knows what it is doing. Things of note: Tiger Claw says that Leonardo fights bravely. Tiger Claw also was insightful in the beginning in telling Shredder that "You know the Kraang are going to betray you, right?" It wasn't just a warning. It was sensible and friendly advice. Which Saki ignores because at this point he hates humanity too. I loved Raph setting the limit with Casey at the beginning that as far as April is concerned, he's Team Donnie. I was also amazed at April's line "Stop talking Donnie. It makes it hurt more." That probably had more layers to it than any other line in the entire series. It was a perfect note and great for both of those characters. I have to say that Donnie shouldn't be blaming himself for having to leave Splinter and Leo behind. It was entirely April's fault. It is to all of the Turtles' credit that they don't hold what happened to their lair, and by extension Leo and Splinter, over her head the way she did her father's mutation theirs. Even Raph doesn't complain about it in season three. Although considering her father is remutated in the next episode, maybe they just think she's been punished enough. I love this episode. *****.
The Invasion: Part 2:
That. Was. DIRE! Big stuff! Where to begin? Leatherhead comes out of nowhere to save Splinter's life (twice!). When he starting snapping Shredder's torso in his jaws I jumped up and shouted. The DVD was worth every cent I paid for it just for that. And then? Shredder and Splinter's fight turns out to be even more awesome than that! Splinter flings the dude across the room using two fingers! And Raph's uncontrollable rage at Shredder for what he did to Splinter was shared by me. Shredder is a bad dude. He refuses to face Leo because he says he's beneath him, but still wants to make him suffer. I kind of miss the subtext of the comic book of half dead Leo crashing through the window, when everything is going so nicely at Christmas, but making things already terrible worked just as well for entirely different reasons. Instead of pure shock and horror, it's absolute misery and resignation. I love that Karai saved Splinter at the end. The Party Wagon! What a debut! I loved April being even more annoyed than I was at Kirby being mutated again (although this time she has only herself to blame). Leo's shell is cracked! Biggest revelation for me is the idea that the Kraang mutated a bunch of monkeys a million years ago and that is where the human race comes from! I love that! Do you know what else is awesome? The Earth Protection Force! It's like the entire world has this huge story going on in the background that the Turtles are just around the edges of and you realize this is the first time they've been confronted with it. It makes the world seem even bigger than it is. And Casey Jones coming out of nowhere at the end and smacking down Kraang Prime with the Party Wagon was sweet! Mikey comforting Raph and bringing him to his senses was so moving to me because he is the most senseless Turtle. He had some wisdom for a moment and I won't dismiss that. This is the best episode of the series. The season mostly sucked but it went out on the highest of high notes. *****. Two Part Average: *****.
The Mutation Of A Scene:
The Manhattan Project: Tiger Claw fight scenes are always awesome, but I wish we had seen the animatic for the classic 2-D Turtles. ****.
Mazes & Mutants: Best line is Mikey's "Like a turkey do" riff. ***.
The Lonely Mutation Of Baxter Stockman: That climax is still amazing. *****.
Newtralized: Still can't believe Corey Feldman is Slash. Danny Trejo is unrecognizable as Newtralizer too. ***1/2.
The Wrath Of Tiger Claw: One of my favorite Tiger Claw fights. The fact that there is very little music makes the proceedings ominous and the body blows land extra heavy. And if you don't shudder when you see the meat fall into the grinder you have a stronger stomach than me. *****.
Pizza Face: Still disgusting and I mean that as the highest compliment. But this scene points out a plot hole. Why when the rest of the Turtles eat the pizza do they become mind controlled, but Mikey is simply able to destroy the pizza by doing so? I like that when Mikey burps in triumph at the end, all of the windows in the building shatter. That sounds about right. ****.
The Legend Of The Kuro Kabuto: The lighting effects on Zeck have always been amazing. And Buzzkill would have been a perfect name for Fly Stockman. ****.
Plan 10: Raph doesn't want to have to fight such a good looking Turtle. It doesn't make much sense that a Kraang would be willing to destroy his own body, but the Kraang are, and always have been, dimwits. ***.
Vengeance Is Mine: At least that wasn't Mikey's water-balloon throwing arm. Loved Donnie coming out of nowhere to save the day in the Shellraiser. And the storyboard animatic of the sword in the van's roof nearly missing Karai is actually better than the actual CGI final animation. ****.
A Chinatown Ghost Story: After learning what we did in the season finale about the Kraang's guiding hand of human evolution, I can now safely say Ho Chan's story of a Turtle God creating to the world is bogus. And how dumb is Casey for trying to grab the wheel from Donnie during the chase scene? Is he old enough to drive yet? Does he even know how? That makes about as much sense as a 12 year old trying to grab the wheel as his mother drives because she wasn't going fast enough. ***.
Into Dimension X!: If the episode wanted to teach us the lesson to beware of cute things, THAT was quite an effective way to do it. CGI explosions look weird in primary animatics. And how does Leatherhead know the phrase "pain in the @$$"? Where would he have learned that from? Also cool was Donnie's observation of why the Kraang wanted to invade Earth: their dimension stinks! ***1/2.
The Invasion: Part 1: Evil Gottfreid Irma is evil! Go Ice Cream Kitty! *****.
The Invasion: Part 2: This scene is still crazy. *****.
Channel 6 News Special Report: Ooze-Gate 2014:
Another faux news broadcast short hosted by (appropriately) Joan Grody. Poor Scrappy the hamster. He just went to a better place. Loved the reference to the kids network and slime considering who owns the Ninja Turtles. I see what Nick did there. ****.
DVD Menu: First 2012 Menu that isn't animated. **1/2.