it has been a while...
it has been a while since i have written here so i am making a pledge to myself to do it more often... seeing as how i was one of the orginal people to do this in my group of friends and now i post hardly at all. Kind of funny that way.
So Joe finally moved out and Paul is in. I'm lovin it. The place has really come together and i actually LIKE living here again. Its pretty sweet and its cool to be living with Paul now. kinda crazy that after all the talk of doing this, it's finally happened.
So i am having a huge dilemma. I am with this incredible girl right now whom i love very very very much. I want to be with her so badly and i know she feels the same. But, yesterday i found out that she accepted a position working at a summer camp 8 hours away in northern california. should she follow through with it, she will be gone for 3 months. I wont get to see her, and rarely talk to her because it is in the mountains... for THREE months. so that only begs the question: WHAT HAPPENS TO US? just to think about us not being together for that long makes me sick to my stomach... i can't even imagine it. My biggest fear is that i will be here waiting when she gets back and she will have met someone there and won't want me anymore. The thought of not being wanted breaks my heart. And right now she is SO excited about going and i want to be the supportive boyfriend, but deep inside i am broken just thinking about it. She notices something is wrong, but i don't talk about it because i know she is happy and that is important. But in my own selfish world i think, what about me? and more importantly, what about US? i don't know what to do, or how to approach the subject, or if to approach it at all. i miss her already. never knew a girl could make me feel so much love. Unfortunately, in this situation, that love is what is gonna make my heart hurt the most when she's gone.