(no subject)
i found myself reading my old live journal and becoming extremely nostolgic. i miss my old life. running all over the place with leo, my first conversations with cait before we ever even met, having friends close at hand and always new things to do. always new people to meet. i'm in such a rut. get up at 7, drive to work at 7:45, get there at 9. leave at 6. get home at 7:15. watch tv until 10 or 11. sometimes i do things on saturday. never on friday. and not by choice.
back then all i wrote about was how happy moving back to jersey would make me. but my life wasn't the same as when i left it. it was close at first, but that didn't last long. now I find myself thinking of philly in the same manner. moving back to philly won't put me back in that center city apartment with ami and jon, waking up finding leo or anyone asleep on our couch that I don't even know how they got in. there's no random shows in wilkes barre to go see. there's none of the other people that used to dot my time. stacy, becci, god knows who else. i just didn't feel quite so isolated. it'll be as empty there as it is here because i'm still grasping to something that is long long gone.
i miss my old life. i miss all my old friends. I know we all still talk, but it's just not like the old days, is it?
i'm just kinda sad. i know i'm stuck in the postition i'm in now for the rest of my life. the setting will change. but the grind will be the same. if i don't get married, and i don't have children, i've already hit my final milestone at 23. that's the scariest thought i could ever have.
back then all i wrote about was how happy moving back to jersey would make me. but my life wasn't the same as when i left it. it was close at first, but that didn't last long. now I find myself thinking of philly in the same manner. moving back to philly won't put me back in that center city apartment with ami and jon, waking up finding leo or anyone asleep on our couch that I don't even know how they got in. there's no random shows in wilkes barre to go see. there's none of the other people that used to dot my time. stacy, becci, god knows who else. i just didn't feel quite so isolated. it'll be as empty there as it is here because i'm still grasping to something that is long long gone.
i miss my old life. i miss all my old friends. I know we all still talk, but it's just not like the old days, is it?
i'm just kinda sad. i know i'm stuck in the postition i'm in now for the rest of my life. the setting will change. but the grind will be the same. if i don't get married, and i don't have children, i've already hit my final milestone at 23. that's the scariest thought i could ever have.