a debriefing
I feel like my brain and my heart can go in 12 different directions at the same time and they do not always agree with each other. I have done so many things in the past year! From June 2009 to present, I have worked as a waitress, PDed for a film and a commercial, PAed on another film, PAed for a commercial and shot for a documentary. I have interned for PBS Scigirls. I have subbed for pre-K, 5th grade, and special needs 4th and 5th. I have worked retail. I have babysat. I have worked as a teaching assistant in a level 2 class room K-3rd grade. I have taught an after school Leaders club at the YMCA, I have taught 3D art at the Y, and I have taught cooking classes at the Y. I have driven a bus for the Y. I have also volunteered at a local bike shop learning about and helping with the maintenance of bikes.
I am still close to broke and I don't feel like I have anymore direction than when I started this year. Maybe I have two directions. I know that I like working with kids. I am good at working with kids. I also know that I really enjoy creating and making and seeing how what I have done impacts others. I know that I do not want to be a teacher- like the kind of teacher that works in a school all day with one group of students for a year. I think I might like being a sort of "token adult" in the lives of children. Where I am able to work with them and help them learn awesome new things about the world and themselves. But I also want the opportunity to create and maybe work with a community at large. So what do I do? Do I go back to school? I think I would like to go back to school for something creative- to learn the vocabulary and gain more confidence in my skills. But what is this school called? What area do I focus on??? And it sucks to think that, most likely, I will end up getting another BA. I would love to say that I have my masters.
I was telling Brok tonight that I go through phases of feeling really good and excited about everything and then I feel low and scared and bummed. In 1 day I am driving to Chicago for a questionable amount of time. I am going to live with my bff and try to find a random job that will allow me to earn enough money to pay my bills. This could very well be the dumbest choice I've made recently. But I am trying to think positive thoughts- I will be able to find a job I will make money. But I need to do more than make money. I also need to think and plan for my next year of life. Where do I see myself? I want to be independent and self sufficient. I want to be happy and feel like I am going in a really good direction. I would love to be in school or doing something that I enjoy. I'm going to be 25 in September. I am really looking forward to this, but I want to feel like I am a little more put together. No more settling for lame jobs in the mall. I am smarter than that, nicer than that, more talented than that. While I enjoy doing lots of odd jobs, I think I end up loosing myself in them. I AM BIG. I need to remember that.
a quote that I saw today and liked: Trust in the universe and move forward.
I need to move forward.
I am still close to broke and I don't feel like I have anymore direction than when I started this year. Maybe I have two directions. I know that I like working with kids. I am good at working with kids. I also know that I really enjoy creating and making and seeing how what I have done impacts others. I know that I do not want to be a teacher- like the kind of teacher that works in a school all day with one group of students for a year. I think I might like being a sort of "token adult" in the lives of children. Where I am able to work with them and help them learn awesome new things about the world and themselves. But I also want the opportunity to create and maybe work with a community at large. So what do I do? Do I go back to school? I think I would like to go back to school for something creative- to learn the vocabulary and gain more confidence in my skills. But what is this school called? What area do I focus on??? And it sucks to think that, most likely, I will end up getting another BA. I would love to say that I have my masters.
I was telling Brok tonight that I go through phases of feeling really good and excited about everything and then I feel low and scared and bummed. In 1 day I am driving to Chicago for a questionable amount of time. I am going to live with my bff and try to find a random job that will allow me to earn enough money to pay my bills. This could very well be the dumbest choice I've made recently. But I am trying to think positive thoughts- I will be able to find a job I will make money. But I need to do more than make money. I also need to think and plan for my next year of life. Where do I see myself? I want to be independent and self sufficient. I want to be happy and feel like I am going in a really good direction. I would love to be in school or doing something that I enjoy. I'm going to be 25 in September. I am really looking forward to this, but I want to feel like I am a little more put together. No more settling for lame jobs in the mall. I am smarter than that, nicer than that, more talented than that. While I enjoy doing lots of odd jobs, I think I end up loosing myself in them. I AM BIG. I need to remember that.
a quote that I saw today and liked: Trust in the universe and move forward.
I need to move forward.