(no subject)

[matttwithonet]

i'm in love with these thoughts
and i hate what we fight for
where lovers get lost in dark corners
and rapists give jewels to whores
and all it is is a lie, it's a lie
a myriad of emotions that we can never feel
and a million stars burn on black and teal
and i hate myself so much because of it

but i'll do what i want
when i don't feel like it
and i'll say what i feel
when it's not what i want
and all i need is six strings i can't play to help
and all i need are letters to try and explain myself
and i can write all night and never say what i mean

i never drank but i feel it strong
like a dam built in the middle of an ocean
when it feels like my heart will implode
and my lungs will explode
and i sweat from the cold
but i'll just stay up all night
and let my insides burn

you haunt me from a memory
and i can't recall which one
buried under false regrets
amidst the flaming sun
your ashes flare out everywhere
and blind me of my life
and all i want is to be loved

it's a shame we'll never know ourselves
it's a shame we'll never love ourselves
it's a shame we'll never stay ourselves
and it's a shame i'll never know you
or find you
or love you
or kill you