One month catch up
First order of business. I would like to delete my Facebook. Here's why:
Okay. Now onto recent events. I finished my semester with 4 A's and 2 B+'s. This has been my highest achieving semester ever. My second highest was 4 A's and 2 B's. Note that in both cases I was working very hard and people thought I couldn't do it at all. I think it is definite proof that I only succeed when I am challenged.
I got accepted to both UF and FSU, UF as a masters student and FSU as a funded phd student. I decided to go to FSU because I have no money. I think it is interesting that I applied to both of these schools because I've only ever applied to places that would accept me. Technically, I still have.
I have been very unmotivated for the last month, but I'm not sweating it because I had a long year behind me and a long and exciting journey ahead; I can use a few months off. Nevertheless, I still firmly believe the tenets that got me through this year, one of them being that achieving my full potential is equivalent to relinquishing my need for rest. In fact, I would also postulate that the more I rest and the easier I take it, the less I will achieve in the long run.
That said, one of my key concentrations lately has been to regain motivation. I look back to a year ago. I don't have a break up behind me. I can't say "screw her, I'm going to be amazing and she'll regret everything." At some point, that was no longer my motivation--I began doing it for me. Therefore, I'm losing motivation in spite of me, and I need to learn how to motivate myself for my own sake yet again.
I spend a lot of time looking into the future. When I played WoW, I spent lots of time looking at classes, weapons, skills, raid rewards, server statistics, to try to figure out what class I want to be when I'm capped; so now I am looking towards all the different possibilities that lie ahead of me and considering which one I want to be my future. If this analogy is worth its weight, then I will get halfway into it and become envious of the other choices, although I think I may be dealing with that better, now.
Regardless, I spend more time researching than playing. I spend more time anxiously thinking, preparing, hoping than actually doing anything. I don't really want to do anything. How frustrating! I don't want to do anything!
In conclusion, inconclusive.
- It is addictive.
- It can create a false sense of social involvement.
- It is distracting and unproductive.
- It is a much less useful form of self-expression than this.
Okay. Now onto recent events. I finished my semester with 4 A's and 2 B+'s. This has been my highest achieving semester ever. My second highest was 4 A's and 2 B's. Note that in both cases I was working very hard and people thought I couldn't do it at all. I think it is definite proof that I only succeed when I am challenged.
I got accepted to both UF and FSU, UF as a masters student and FSU as a funded phd student. I decided to go to FSU because I have no money. I think it is interesting that I applied to both of these schools because I've only ever applied to places that would accept me. Technically, I still have.
I have been very unmotivated for the last month, but I'm not sweating it because I had a long year behind me and a long and exciting journey ahead; I can use a few months off. Nevertheless, I still firmly believe the tenets that got me through this year, one of them being that achieving my full potential is equivalent to relinquishing my need for rest. In fact, I would also postulate that the more I rest and the easier I take it, the less I will achieve in the long run.
That said, one of my key concentrations lately has been to regain motivation. I look back to a year ago. I don't have a break up behind me. I can't say "screw her, I'm going to be amazing and she'll regret everything." At some point, that was no longer my motivation--I began doing it for me. Therefore, I'm losing motivation in spite of me, and I need to learn how to motivate myself for my own sake yet again.
I spend a lot of time looking into the future. When I played WoW, I spent lots of time looking at classes, weapons, skills, raid rewards, server statistics, to try to figure out what class I want to be when I'm capped; so now I am looking towards all the different possibilities that lie ahead of me and considering which one I want to be my future. If this analogy is worth its weight, then I will get halfway into it and become envious of the other choices, although I think I may be dealing with that better, now.
Regardless, I spend more time researching than playing. I spend more time anxiously thinking, preparing, hoping than actually doing anything. I don't really want to do anything. How frustrating! I don't want to do anything!
In conclusion, inconclusive.