It's so hard for me to get over the past
Every day stuff goes through my mind that is over, done with, and irrelevant. I've made a mistake, I trusted the wrong people, I lost a huge part of me, and all I have is all that's left.
In Economics, we call any capital that is irretrievable--and typically poorly invested--a sunk cost. The money has been spent, you will not get it back. Sometimes when people spend a lot of money on a hopeful investment, and it starts to fail, instead of exploring all of their options from this point forward they hold on to their investments in their former hopes. This is fallacious and unproductive, because you will net greater returns by ignoring the past and considering only the future. But we hate to think of the past as a waste, and so we hold on.
I think that's what I am experiencing emotionally. I want so desperately for the three useless years, all the emotion my little heart could muster, and my purity to prove worthwhile. I hate to see such precious things squandered--and squandered for so little! I keep thinking about them. Every day:
'If only...no, there are no if only's. But...maybe...if only... If only what? There are no if only's. It was a huge mistake. She was never to be trusted; from the first time you sat on her couch, before you ever kissed her, and said "I'll never get tired of you. Will you get tired of me?" To which she responded, "well of course I will, I mean eventually." You knew it was a bad investment. You invested. You lost. There are no if only's.
It was never good. Likewise, it never could have been good. Ever. This time the past is a useless waste. But the future is looking gorgeous, because the Holy Spirit took away my mistake and replaced it with himself. This is too good of an opportunity, the greatest opportunity imaginable. I cannot spend it mourning a sunk cost. Focus, Matthew, focus!
In Economics, we call any capital that is irretrievable--and typically poorly invested--a sunk cost. The money has been spent, you will not get it back. Sometimes when people spend a lot of money on a hopeful investment, and it starts to fail, instead of exploring all of their options from this point forward they hold on to their investments in their former hopes. This is fallacious and unproductive, because you will net greater returns by ignoring the past and considering only the future. But we hate to think of the past as a waste, and so we hold on.
I think that's what I am experiencing emotionally. I want so desperately for the three useless years, all the emotion my little heart could muster, and my purity to prove worthwhile. I hate to see such precious things squandered--and squandered for so little! I keep thinking about them. Every day:
'If only...no, there are no if only's. But...maybe...if only... If only what? There are no if only's. It was a huge mistake. She was never to be trusted; from the first time you sat on her couch, before you ever kissed her, and said "I'll never get tired of you. Will you get tired of me?" To which she responded, "well of course I will, I mean eventually." You knew it was a bad investment. You invested. You lost. There are no if only's.
It was never good. Likewise, it never could have been good. Ever. This time the past is a useless waste. But the future is looking gorgeous, because the Holy Spirit took away my mistake and replaced it with himself. This is too good of an opportunity, the greatest opportunity imaginable. I cannot spend it mourning a sunk cost. Focus, Matthew, focus!