Because posting twice at once is always okay if you've not posted in a month.
I'm just going back and reading the narrative of my contemplative life.
Wow. All this pain is for good. I spent so much time saying to myself, "I want to follow Jesus. I want to work hard. I want to do my best. I want to make the people who love me proud. I want to make a difference. But all I do is make excuses." The Holy Spirit was at work in my life. He punished me. He took things I held dear away. He caused me genuine pain and suffering. And, like an interrogated prisoner growing that much more determined with torture, its pushed me. It's motivated me. My dreams are being realized. My goals are being reached. For the first time in a long time I can say I am a function of who I want to be. I am not restricted by a complacent world or a complacent family. I am not drifting away from the Christ, whose suffering redeemed me from the refuse that surrounds me, that suffocates me. I am actually becoming who I want to be--and who I'm intended to be.
I cannot tell you how many times I prayed: Please take from me my life when I don't have the strength to give it to you. It's happening; it's painful; it's beautiful.
Wow. All this pain is for good. I spent so much time saying to myself, "I want to follow Jesus. I want to work hard. I want to do my best. I want to make the people who love me proud. I want to make a difference. But all I do is make excuses." The Holy Spirit was at work in my life. He punished me. He took things I held dear away. He caused me genuine pain and suffering. And, like an interrogated prisoner growing that much more determined with torture, its pushed me. It's motivated me. My dreams are being realized. My goals are being reached. For the first time in a long time I can say I am a function of who I want to be. I am not restricted by a complacent world or a complacent family. I am not drifting away from the Christ, whose suffering redeemed me from the refuse that surrounds me, that suffocates me. I am actually becoming who I want to be--and who I'm intended to be.
I cannot tell you how many times I prayed: Please take from me my life when I don't have the strength to give it to you. It's happening; it's painful; it's beautiful.