Duty, to whom?
I think that we've got what it takes to get this heart start beating again, so take it all the way. And our hearts are on the everglow, so just let go and fall into it.
[Mae; The Everglow]
When I fell for Joelle, one thing sat in the back of my mind the whole time: If Joelle were Adrianne, and I were Chris (her ex), and Adrianne and I were in that situation, I would be so hurt. Thats the Christian ethics, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, which so defines my life coming to play.
But all the while I pursued it. Because I reminded myself, if I were Chris, Adrianne would be the one leaving me. No, Adrianne is Chris, and I am Joelle. And here I am, doing the very same thing that Joelle is, because that's what we need, that's what we deserve. In other words, if Chris treated Joelle like I treated Adrianne, there would be no room for anything between Joelle and I. So I continued to pursue it, but with apprehension.
Now here I sit, contemplating defeat, because of that apprehension. And I regret that. I now realize two things:
First, I could have been her savior. I had the keys to her heart and I hesitated, because I wasn't sure if I was whats best for her. I am whats best for her. But I hesitated, and let him take her back, and she went to whats comfortable, what she longed for, instead of whats new, exciting, and scary, and exactly what she deserves to have. I should have had more self confidence. Whoever ends up with me, and loves me, will be a very lucky girl. If I truly believed this, I would have acted differently.
Second, I approached the whole thing from the wrong direction, from the "if it were me" direction. That's a great attitude to consider, but I now realize its foolish to rest solely upon such ethics. From the start I felt that I didn't want to take something special, amazing, wonderful, life-changing, beautiful, irreplacable, and perfect away from her.
I didn't. But I let him take that away from us.
[Mae; The Everglow]
When I fell for Joelle, one thing sat in the back of my mind the whole time: If Joelle were Adrianne, and I were Chris (her ex), and Adrianne and I were in that situation, I would be so hurt. Thats the Christian ethics, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, which so defines my life coming to play.
But all the while I pursued it. Because I reminded myself, if I were Chris, Adrianne would be the one leaving me. No, Adrianne is Chris, and I am Joelle. And here I am, doing the very same thing that Joelle is, because that's what we need, that's what we deserve. In other words, if Chris treated Joelle like I treated Adrianne, there would be no room for anything between Joelle and I. So I continued to pursue it, but with apprehension.
Now here I sit, contemplating defeat, because of that apprehension. And I regret that. I now realize two things:
First, I could have been her savior. I had the keys to her heart and I hesitated, because I wasn't sure if I was whats best for her. I am whats best for her. But I hesitated, and let him take her back, and she went to whats comfortable, what she longed for, instead of whats new, exciting, and scary, and exactly what she deserves to have. I should have had more self confidence. Whoever ends up with me, and loves me, will be a very lucky girl. If I truly believed this, I would have acted differently.
Second, I approached the whole thing from the wrong direction, from the "if it were me" direction. That's a great attitude to consider, but I now realize its foolish to rest solely upon such ethics. From the start I felt that I didn't want to take something special, amazing, wonderful, life-changing, beautiful, irreplacable, and perfect away from her.
I didn't. But I let him take that away from us.